Idiocy versus intelligence on Japanese quiz shows

By Remy Zane

One of my tiny obsessions - cultural fetishes, if you will - is the game show industry. Alongside becoming an astronaut, rock star, and inventor of the wheel, one of my dreams has always been to either participate in a well-known game show or to host one. As of yet, the closest I’ve gotten towards either of these is being in the audience for one back home. (The host probably hates me for what transpired, but that’s another story.)

Now, I don’t consider myself a particularly intelligent person. I lack common sense half the time, and if being my high school’s ‘03 valedictorian is supposed to be a marker of coherence, mine easily runs out of ink. When I watch shows like “Jeopardy!” or “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” I fully expect to react in ways meriting the punctuation marks. “How could he NOT know about polyphasic sleep!” “Wow, what IS the capital of Bulgaria, anyhow?” These are the sort of responses I expect.

That said, it is with greatly mixed emotions that I present to you the state of quiz shows in Japan. Let me begin by saying that there are, still, a select few shows which reward knowledge both general and trivial. For example, “Nekketsu! Heisei Kyoiku Gakuin,” airing Sundays at 7 p.m. on Fuji TV, tests participants’ advanced kanji knowledge, as well as challenging the contestants - all celebrities. Most contestants on the show are known for being of at least above-average intelligence, although for the sake of balance, Aya Hirayama is a necessary constant.

Another is “Nep League,” airing Mondays at 7 on Fuji TV. Teams of five work together to solve various problems, the content of which differing from “Heisei Kyoiku” really only in terms of presentation. As an example, five people line up in a row. If the question, “What is the Japanese word for ‘thank you?’” were to be asked, each person would be responsible for their respective character. Person A would write “a,” person B would write “ri,” and so on. This can be both challenging and hilarious, especially when the answer should be obvious.

Which leads me to “Hexagon II: Quiz Parade,” Wednesdays at 7 on Fuji TV, arguably the exact opposite of the first two shows. Granted, the contestants are still celebrities - mostly singers or would-be equivalents - but here, the selling point isn’t intelligence, but idiocy. Pure, unbridled vapidity, to the point where out of 18 regulars, our love for the two or three smart guys pales in comparison to utter hate and disgust for the remaining 16. Now, yes, said hatred may merit a “!”-worthy response. Watching grown men and women fail to remember third-grade math, however, is nothing short of “…” or even a “@$%&.”

Yes, there are several more quiz shows out there, some far more challenging or rewarding than “Heisei Kyoiku” or “Nep League.” The problem is, most of these shows air either far too early or far too late at night for the majority to appreciate them. Moreover, the cast of “Heisei Kyoiku” and “Nep League” are, on average, in their 30s or 40s, whereas the vast majority of “Hexagon” contestants either are in their 20s or produce media that target people no older than their 20s. Arguing, then, that this sort of academic agnosticism is supposed to be something to enjoy, or even look up to.

Don’t get me wrong. I can enjoy good, thoughtless fun - “Family Guy” is an immediate example - but when people are watching Aya Hirayama or Suzanne treat basic intelligence like broken glass, and when people happen to be liking or even approving this, really the only question that matters is, “Why?”

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Latest 15 of 74 Total Comments Show All

fairyprince at 07:07 PM JST - 28th May

Remy Zane,

Nice article indeed! Keep it up and let us know why the host of the show hates you!
zentraedi at 08:27 PM JST - 28th May

Anyone here ever been to a hotel overseas and watched NHK World? I found their international satellite channel to be much more interesting than any I can tune into off the the air here in Nagoya
Goals0 at 09:31 PM JST - 28th May

One reason for the subtitling is so that you can watch television with the sound down. In a restaurant or with a screen on a busy street you can follow the program even if you can't hear anything. Some murder mysteries, classically the Tuesday evening one, uses the bilingual channel for a soundtrack for the blind, and idiot gaijin. "He walks to the window. He sees a car pull up outside."
jonnyboy at 09:41 PM JST - 28th May

One reason for the subtitling is so that you can watch television with the sound down. In a restaurant or with a screen on a busy street you can follow the program even if you can't hear anything. Some murder mysteries, classically the Tuesday evening one, uses the bilingual channel for a soundtrack for the blind, and idiot gaijin. "He walks to the window. He sees a car pull up outside."

this is true. but doesn't japanese tv have closed captioning that could be turned off and on as desired?
LoveUSA at 01:13 AM JST - 29th May

Idiocy is to watch all these shows Lol

The author watched them? lol
plusloud at 03:07 AM JST - 29th May

This is Remy. Thanks for the mass of comments.

In response to Fairyprince's inquiry, well, it's a medium-long story. Since 2008, my local anime convention (Hawaii's Kawaii-Kon) has held a Jeopardy-styled game show. Three random attendees are selected to test their knowledge on various series, genres, industry trends, and so on. I was in the audience for the first year. The host... well. The host was vapid at best. He had about as much charisma as a dead battery. His pronunciation of both English and Japanese was heinous.

In one instance, there was an apparent miscommunication as to which question had which answer. For said question, none of the contestants knew the answer, and neither did the host. When he read off what his information had as the correct answer, a good third of the audience groaned. At this point, with nothing to lose but more patience, I screamed the correct answer out loud.

I assure you, I'm neither otaku nor retarded.
plusloud at 03:09 AM JST - 29th May

Please pardon the double-post, but yes, I watch NEP League, Hexagon, etc. on an off-regular basis. On average, this is about as idiotic as typing "lol" at the end of every sentence, complete or otherwise.
LoveUSA at 12:45 PM JST - 29th May

thanks for the creative article, we did not know that already.
plusloud at 04:28 PM JST - 29th May

You might have, but I didn't. Hence the article. :)
fairyprince at 08:33 PM JST - 29th May

Hahaha.

Wish I could have been there to see that!
plusloud at 12:07 AM JST - 30th May

Thankfully, I heard this year's show was much better. The questions were far too easy, but at least the host did his job right.
ca1ic0cat at 03:25 AM JST - 30th May

Intellegent Japanese TV game show is an oxymoron. Anybody who watched Takeshi's Castle knows that. Oops, dating myself....
plusloud at 04:03 AM JST - 30th May

Takeshi's Castle probably wasn't meant to be intelligent. :p Considering how much head trauma was likely acquired by the hordes of contestants...
Crokk at 10:17 PM JST - 30th May

I still prefer that kind of tv shows and jdrama than other stuff.... at least is fun
SiouxGirl at 04:09 AM JST - 2nd June

I'm surprised about this. I always thought the Japanese were more dignified and intelligent than, well, than everyone.