By Donna Labermeier

Commentary Oct. 28, 2011 - 06:03AM JST ( 23 )

Are you in a state of constant fear, anger and worry because of having to deal with a bully either at your school or in your home?  Have you been struggling with feelings of sadness, unable to control the bad things that seem to happen to you?

When coping with the actions of a bully, the first course of action is to always speak up and tell an adult that you trust. If you are the witness to the bullying of someone else, the right thing to do is to find an adult to help in the situation. However, there are things that you can do to overcome bullying in your life without anyone knowing you’re doing them.

There are three ways you can empower yourself:

1) Change the Focus of your Attention

Everything you say and think manifests into form rapidly. We are constantly broadcasting and receiving energy, not only verbally, but nonverbally through our thoughts, emotions and body language. We can tune the energy that constantly pulsates in and around us to a higher, purer vibration that can change our environments and our lives. Begin sending out the kind of energy you would like to receive and realize that your unspoken thoughts and feelings have a powerful effect on your life and on the lives of those around you. If you are placing your focus, energy and attention on something negative, then unconsciously, you are attracting more of exactly what you DON’T want. What you need to do is attract the OPPOSITE of what you currently have.

So how do you catch yourself being negative, and then, how do you turn it into being positive? It’s very easy to just say, “Be positive and everything will be okay!” But we are human beings, not robots. First of all, create a built-in warning system that will identify negative thoughts, allowing you a chance to choose a better way. It’s important to recognize when we have negative thoughts. So ask yourself the following questions as a negativity checklist:

- Is the thought life-defeating?
- Does it encourage excess worry?
- Is the thought hard to get rid of?
- Does thinking it make you upset or sad?
- Is this thought really the way you want things to turn out?

Once you recognize what you are actually broadcasting out into the Universe, you can turn it around by deciding not to attach to it. The universe will quickly respond to this change of direction!

So start laughing and smiling all you can. Even if you cry at the same time. That’s okay. Vent. Let it out. You’re releasing negative energy from your body. Most of the time, sickness is a result of pushing negative energy down in to our bodies until it eventually takes the form of an illness. Laughing is so good for us because our bodies are like tuning forks, and it realigns us and opens us up to the flow of positive energy, which attracts positive outcomes. So rent a funny movie, watch a sitcom, read a funny story or joke book. The change in you will be huge. You must have fun in your life ... it brings more and more fun to you. So put it in motion. The vibration you send out will move mountains in your life.

2) Negate the Negative

Understand that what other people say and do has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Did you hear that? Everyone has their own life lessons to learn. Every person views the world from a unique perspective because of this. So what people say and do is simply a reflection of how they see the world. Their lessons are not your concern ... you have your own. There are no accidents, only lessons.

Embrace the “challenges” and be grateful. Say, “thank you,” no matter what. “Thank you” are the most powerful two words you can send out into the universe. Thank your past no matter how painful it was. You don’t need to know why things happened the way they did. You need to be thankful that you got through them and learned whatever it was your soul was meant to learn to propel you through the process of your life.

Gratitude is a force that, when unleashed, turns everything into a good experience. Yes, EVERYTHING. There is always a life lesson to be learned, a challenge to experience, or an opportunity for growth. If you look at a situation from that perspective, nothing is ever bad ... NOTHING. The reason is quite simple: when we develop a consciousness of gratitude, the negative ceases to exist.

So thanking everything that is in your life, including the negatives, may seem at first ridiculous, but here’s the magic: when you thank something negative for happening or thank a negative thought for being there, you’ve just negated the negative and turned it into positive energy. At this point, miracles start to happen. The more thankful you become for everything around you, the more abundance will flow into your life. So thank everything, even when you’re not so sure you’re grateful for it. In time, you will be.

3) Take Hold of Your Personal Power

Don’t let other people and situations dictate your emotions or define who you are anymore. Somewhere along the line, you gave your power away to some person or situation, so that you were left empty and powerless. You didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s time you understand that you are in charge of your own life. No one can steal your joy from you unless you let them. So every morning, ask yourself what you are choosing for that day. Are you choosing to be joyful? Make a command decision.

Talk to the universe. Ask it for confidence, strength and protection. Send a “psychic letter” to the bully in your life ... it works. Say out loud when you’re alone or quietly to yourself, “Dear _________, this is __________.  I want you to stop bullying me. You are hurting me and I am fearful of you.” Or something like that. Use your emotions and speak from the heart. Be specific. You’ll be amazed when the person seems aware of your feelings and starts treating you with respect without you even having to confront them. You will have secretly helped them learn one of their life lessons, too.

Donna Labermeier, a graceful member of the sandwich generation, bowed out of the corporate world in 2003 when her family needed her more than the banking community. She now runs a successful, happy home which includes two children and continues to be a professional student of life.  Though she has studied spiritual development and energy healing for several years now, she received her Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. “The Healers,” her first novel, is a result of Labermeier’s own healing and personal transformation.