Do you think women are more selective than men when it comes to who they choose to date?
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46 Comments
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0
Maria
I am imagining some heated debates at the JT offices over the past few days. What's going on over there?
Depends on the person: their age, their expectations from a relationship/hookup, their goals in life, their character...
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neverknow2
In western countries, yes. In Japan, no. Women will date any western man here. Even though it's obvious to the rest of us that he has never actually had a girlfriend in his life. A hint that he has never had a girlfriend would be an example such as my fellow teacher at my school. When I come to work and say good morning, he just giggles like a schoolgirl and looks the other way.
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ronaldk
I agree with neverknow2. Men after a failed relationship will date anything with a pulse to resurrect their ego and confidence, then slowly work their way up the hotty list.
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LoveUSA
If you ask the men to show photos of the women they date, most of them will be ashamed to show these pictures because it will prove they date anybody who accepts them.
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Betting
Well, considering that if any sex happens on a date and the consequences that might occur (i.e. baby) I believe that women are more selective about their dates. Of course not everyone makes the best decisions about their partners.
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Altria
If women were less selective than Altria, they'd have to go for anything without a pulse.
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Brainiac
I think women are looking for a relationship, while men usually have sex in mind when they ask a woman out on a date. It's interesting when you look at the personals in magazines like Metropolis. In the Women Looking for Men section, the women are almost always looking for a long-term relationship, while in the Men Looking for Women section, the guys overwhelmingly are looking for sex, though they don't word it that obviously.
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abromofo
Hmm. Not any woman. Sure there are plenty of nerdy foreigners with Japanese girlfriends... ranging from 0 to... perhaps 6 on my hotness scale.
But there's a loooot of nice and attractive Japanese women who won't go there.
0
KallyPygous
Women are looking for the best possible complimentary genes for their potential offspring, which means they're looking to have sex with a hunk and settle down with a nerd.
Men are just looking to disseminate their genes as efficiently as possible. Men with high quality DNA are likely to want a large number of sexual partners. Men with poor quality DNA will settle for whatever they can get.
Socialisation has diluted these basic urges, but they are still very prevalent.
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Mittsu
Depends what you mean by selective. Looks? Personality? I think the emphasis is different from men to womenj. I kind of agree that some local women can be pretty undiscriminating and date men who back in their country of origin would be considered absolute tossers. Niot sure that local guys who like western women are that different - seen some very odd couples.
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taiko666
Without a doubt women discriminate more. It's simple biology. As KallyPygous implies, the male instinct is to impregnate as many females as possible; the female instinct is to be impregnated by an alpha male.
However, I think women often discriminate unwisely, especially in the west. Being a 'hunk' seems to much more important in the west than it is in Japan. That's why many western women end up with good looking jerks, whereas many Japanese women end up with 'nerdy looking' great guys :-)
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techall
How do you guys come up with these topics?
Okay, the over-weight, flat faced, bow-legged girls with the personality of tofu are usually less discriminating than the over-painted, big-breasted bimbos. The good looking, tall, athletic men are usually more discriminating than the pre-maturly bald, badly dressed dolts you normall see on the train at 11:30 pm on their way home from their boring office jobs. So what's the point??
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twoyen
taiko666,
Exactly. You hit the nail on the head.
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JmannGod
idiot question - evolutionary biology tells us this already
0
dolphingirl
taiko66: Agreed. Women are generally more discriminating due to biology. And yes, I also feel that things are slightly different in Japan than in western countries. In Canada, I feel like there's a wider range of types of guys; simply because it's multicultual. Whereas in Japan, guys tend to be more similar; especially in terms of looks. Therefore, a western woman has more selection and has to discriminate more carefully.
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ronaldk
But I might add that simply being different in and of itself is an attractive feature, so that the "tosser" Western males in Japan (perhaps including myself) evince a form of survivability in simply being able to cross oceans and support ourselves, and that very differentness may be attractive. Honestly though, Japan is easier on the Western males than females. However, in college one woman who resembled a walking talking hog, went to Latin America and came back with a man looking like Antonio Banderas, thus, for the portly Western ladies Latin America may be your mecca.
0
chewbakayaro
Men are a lot more selective: face, legs, booty, boobies, age. She also can't fart, burp, swear, smoke, or snore. Has to look sexy but not cheap and absolutely no body odor...oh, and she has to remind a guy of his mother - you know, that whole oedipal complex thing.
Most important to women? Quite simple: wallet.
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unrested
whoa this question seemed to have roused the attention of some really bitter people.
0
Foxie
No.
0
seesaw
At long last, an INTERESTING TOPIC. Thanks JT!
Yes, I think WOMEN (J women aside)are more selective than men when it comes to who we choose to date. Women have better class and taste and don't fall for men over a beer at The Hub...:)
0
Sarge
I agree with Foxie. There are a bunch of loser men who get dates.
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seesaw
Yes, that too. But I also look for his brains, manners and looks. Who wants to walk around town with a big, fat, sloppy bald man.anyway?
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dolphingirl
I read up on this a bit after my first post. Apparently, there has been a long-standing principle in evolutionary psychology that says women are more selective in mates than men. It's something that is culurally universal. But a recent study has shown that if women physically approach men, they can be just as aggressive and non-selective. In other words, it all depends on who is doing the cruising and making the advances. I suppose it also depends on whether you're looking for a one-night stand or a life-long partner!
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Tahoochi
Assuming that the "dating" is based on trying to find a life-long partner, no... looking at my friends, I know as many guys who waited for their "soul-mate" as I know girls who have done the same.
But for short-term "flings" or one-night-stands, yes, women are more pickier because they can be... men will sleep with almost anyone for a quickie, and women know this, so they pick and choose. Women have the upper hand when it comes to lust, but men and women are equal in love. Wait... that sounded really cheesy!! uggghhh!!!
0
Potsu
Not in Japan...
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seesaw
I think when posters replied NO or NOT IN JAPAN, I think they are forgetting the fact that they are also non-J women living here too. Me and my gaijin women friends here in Japan are certainly selective about men, though they are limited stock of them for us. Still we won't date the men for the sake of dating....:)
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sf2k
wow what a totally pointless question. As if you'd know.
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dracpoo2
Ok, is this questsion general or is it about Japanese? If this is a general question then I would definitely say the women are more selective. In Japan, the man is super selective. For a man, the following things must often be the case (there are a few J men who are different).....the woman must be shorter than he is, she must be under 25, 30plus year olds are almost viewed as lepers, so are divorced or single moms, her personality must be one of a docile nature, too much strength can be problematic, a gaijin...esp Of darker skin of whatever nationality, maybe NEVER and as much as they like to stare at boobs and a good behind she had better not be too voluptuous, an emacited appearance seems to be ok for some. I heard this Japanese teacher tell a friend of mine that he did not date a particular J woman because he did not like her chin. ha ha. I dont think you can get more selective than that.
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dracpoo2
make that 'emaciated'
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blvtzpk
I think it would be better if the original question asked 'continue to date, settle down with and/or marry.' Neither gender does not have to be selective for that first 'trial' (AKA 'make-or-break') date. I've been on both the giving and receiving end of those.
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bamboohat
NO. they just take more time, and use a different strategy.
A man will look into a crowd of women and within a second choose the 5 or 5% that qualify.
For a woman, it might take a couple conversations and a few dates to whittle down the choices. But the percentages are the same. 5 or 6% are datable, and the rest aren't.
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Patrick Smash
No, women tend to go for complete arseholes like me. Or is that being selective from a certain point of view?
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jojonds
japaanese women are easy. they would date anybody. all you have to do is turn up.
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Foxie
I think when posters replied NO or NOT IN JAPAN, I think they are forgetting the fact that they are also non-J women living here too. Me and my gaijin women friends here in Japan are certainly selective about men, though they are limited stock of them for us. Still we won't date the men for the sake of dating....:)
Really, I am shocked you think that way. I am a non-J woman too and i am surely not dating a Japanese man because of his nice car. His nice character came first in my choice.
0
Jizzeez
Having too long a checklist is obviously a problem. Some people are pickier than others. I had a first date where the woman turned up with visible dandruff in her hair and another who obviously didn't shave her legs.
These were non-starters for me, but maybe other guys wouldn't have been bothered. Judging people by looks is wrong but everyone needs to make an effort. I always put my best clothes on, have a shave, shower and wash my hair. I can't help it if someone doesn't like my looks but I think I have more chance of a second date if I at least try and tart myself up a bit!
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blvtzpk
Outrageous! The gall of the woman! ;)
0
Ah_so
Pulse: check Backbone: check Drunk: check
That's a green light - all systems go!!!
0
stealth_one
In Japan,women are obsessed.He has to have a "decent" job,good income,not a first son in many cases,gentle,do it all type and have a full head of hair. There are more but its a pain.But when I say to them,if the guy has everything you want,what can you give him? I hear "my heart" or "I will look after the house." If a guy has to trade away his singledom for that,its hardly a win win.
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XXXXX
Sure, why do you think there are more women available than men?
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flatearther
Yes, Captain Obvious, women are more selective. At least the women I know are, for good reason.
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bdiego
Yes and they should be. Agree with Captain Obvious.
stealth: You've been reading too many old books and not leaving the house.
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stealth_one
bdiego:No, it is the benefit of being self employed and hearing it from the horse's mouth time and time again.
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saeiry
Definetly, YES. Men would just date anyone.
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bobbafett
I didn't go on a date for 1 year because I did not meet anyone I considered worth the hassle. Women want my money and the status I can give them in front of their peers. Most women here are users and takers.
I never met one here who could give something back as stealth_one pointed out and because I don't think with my little head I don't cave in to the many succubi slithering about the place.
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genkipilot
men don t choose....men get lucky.
it s a myth that guys will go out and pick up women, they have been chosen by her.
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