If you saw an adult hitting or roughly handling a child in public, would you intervene or just mind your business and assume it was a parent disciplining his/her child?
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67 Comments
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0
chotto
Good grief. JT has really opened the floodgates with this one.
But in asnwer to the question, case-by-case basis.
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pamelot
I have and I have, and will continue... But it must be done delicately, in the form of a kindly intervening "time-out" for the parent... If you come at them angry, it defeats the purpose...
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smartacus
I have seen this a lot recently at the shopping mall near where I live. Once I saw a very young mother, around 20-22, I'd say, and she was shouting at her young boy. Maybe he was about 2. Apparently, he had wandered off while she wasn't looking and she was loudly scolding him and slapping him about the face and ears.
I really wanted to intervene but didn't because she would have told me to mind my own business. Other passersby didn't seem to notice.
I often think that one of two things will happen to that boy - he'll either end up with severe injuries or dead from a beating, or he will grow up to be an abuser himself.
0
apple407
The parent has already “lost it” at that point. Leave it along, and hope the parent knows how to deal with it later.
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ilcub76
Just call the police, report abuse, and let them handle it.
Getting involved personally could spell trouble down the line, especially being a foreigner. The parent could claim that he/she was assaulted, or that the "big, bad foreigner" was attempting to kidnap their child.
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Papigiulio
You guys apparently don't have children. Some kids these days need a good can of whoopass. Now dont get me wrong, I dont condone beating the s#$t out of your kids but a well deserved spank on the ass or a slap on the wrist should be allowed.
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Disillusioned
Yeah sure! Just ask the offending parent for their name and address first, hey? Sadly, I have seen many cases of children being abused my their so-called 'parent'. I spoke up a couple of times when I first came to Japan, but was always ignored or the abuse was directed at me. As a result, as long as they are not hitting one of my kids I no longer give a fat rat's.
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himehentai
Papigiulio agreed.
Many of you have no idea just how hard children (especially toddlers, and especially 2 or 3 year olds) can be. I totally can understand how frustrated parents can get if their kids are being little buggers and mom is tired or fed up.
Im sorry ... but I dont think any stranger has any business going up to the tired or harrassed mother of a child or 3 and telling her how shes doing her job wrong. I think I would direct abuse at you too disillusioned. If your going to do something, why not do something helpful?
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southsakai
Case by case basis. "roughly handling and abuse" is one thing and discipline with a "spank on the butt" is another. You can tell right away if it's abuse or just discipline. If you see someone abusing a child, get involved and take action, don't just "mind your own business" because children are unable to defend themselves!
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ExportExpert
Slappping a 2 or 3 year old across the head is not the way a parent should deal with any situation and i dont care how frazzled or frustrated the parent is.
I have seen it in public here a couple of times and have never had to say anything to the offending parent just glare at them with a scowl and alook like you're gonna be next if you do that again look seems to do it, they then seem to slink away like they know they screwed up and hopefully they will wake up to themselves and wont do it again .
0
cleo
I agree with southsakai.
Plenty of times I've seen a parent trying to deal with a temper tantrum and thought, 'Well that's not the way I would do it,' but I've never seen real abuse in public. I hope I'd be able to intervene constructively if I did - as himehentai points out, simply telling the parent she's wrong, or getting all huffy and self-righteous, isn't going to help.
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Zenny11
I say case by case and I agree with Papigiulio & Cleo
I haven't seen any real abuse yet just "standard" disciplining, which now is becoming more and more illegal. Some now will even shout abuse when you tell your kid sternly to stop.
Got so bad now that many parents are too scared to do ANYTHING to control their kids as they might be accused of abuse, etc.
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himehentai
Ive been thinking about this today on my daily way to work.
To be honest on the way to work today I didnt see anything which constitutes abuse. However I also didnt see anything which constitutes discipline either. Japanese parents (not all of course) seem to either let their kids run riot and do whatever they like, or take the other extreme and be far too strict.
This morning I had a kid dawling in front of me and a bunch of other communters while his mother just watched. If It was my kid I would have told him (or just moved him) out of the way. I saw a different 3 kids with their mother sitting on the train, while 2 old women stood. If those were my kids I would have made them give up their seats. Yesterday a kid bumped into me with his bike and his mother didnt apologize to me. I would have made my child apologize or apologized myself.
To be honest, yes of course prevent abuse. But what about the other side to this? why are we not reprimanding parents who are rude, or don't care about what their children are doing and causing injury or inconvenience to others? I highly doubt most of you would be willing to tell a parent how to raise a child under these circumstances, but yet you all seem to happy to jump in if you see a child being "Physically abused." hmmmm ...
0
cleo
Dawl?
Typo for bawl? crawl? brawl? scrawl? sprawl? What was the kid doing that he needed disciplining for?
0
MoBass4u
ilcub76 summed it all up very nicely. If you are a foreigner for this or most disputes here ya better stear clear. You would be the bad guy.
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Zenny11
Cleo, I think she meant 'dawdling'. See that often hear with young kids where the parents will just stand and watch and do nothing.
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ratpack
Depends....if the child is being smacked on the bum or the hand and the parent explains why they got smacked..ok. But if the child is being hit across the face or about the head i would (and have) step in. I've seen some parents swift kick their toddlers in the behind which would have sent a ball 40m. The whiplash looked painful let alone the boot in the butt. I stepped in there as well.
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papasmurfinjapan
This topic came up a few months ago, and here we go again... southsakai, Cleo and Zenny11 pretty much sum up my views. I'm not sure agree with the term "whoopass", as that implies excessive violence. (I'm not suggesting that Papigiulio is excessively violent, just that the term itself can be misinterpreted to mean excessive force).
Saying one agree with spanking a child for disciplinary purposes is problematic, because some parents use spanking with the intention of hurting the child as punishment. I think this is unacceptable. If there is an intention to cause physical harm to the child, whether it be by spanking or punching or pushing etc, then it is physical abuse.
However, slapping a child across the wrists with the intention not to hurt, but to make the child understand the severity of the situation they are in is in my books okay. You do not need to hurt a child to discipline him/her.
Now to the question, would I approach someone I though was using excessive force against a child? Like others have said, case by case, but I would never approach the perpetrator in a judgmental way. I would ask them kindly if everything is okay and try and calm them down. Berating them or looking down on them will not help the situation, and perhaps even make it worse for the child once they get home and out of the public eye.
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himehentai
cleo - I meant dawdling. Oops.
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Smorkian
I wouldn't intervene unless it was obvious abuse like punching, kicking, or throwing. It's impossible to know why the child is being disciplined. I'd rather see a parent be a bit firm with their children than letting them act like crazy monkeys or even acting dangerously.
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dano2002
Please, just mind your own business.
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METinTokyo
As someone who comes from a (many years ago and mostly forgotten) spare the rod and spoil the child upbringing I can tell you that all it does is harden one against the rod, and no in those days it wasn't considered child abuse and I'm sure at time my actions of being a fairly normal kid who made some kid mistakes. It was only when my parents discovered that I was capable of reason that and we talked that both problems went away. How was I to know as a four year old that drawing train tracks on the floor with indelible ink was a sin, I thought it was an expression of artistry and expressed my then love of trains. On topic, no I would not interfere although very tempting at times, but don't think the necessary lessons in alternate and more effective ways of managing would be welcomed.
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seesaw2
Just a month ago I was in the Inokashira Line, standing across to 2 women with 2 children each. They both looked so exhausted after a trip to I presumed was Disney Land. The tired daughter of one of them was crying wanting to sit down and no one offered her the seat. The mother just got up and slapped the daughter in the face and push her so hard that she fell onto my feet. I picked her up but the Mother didn't even thank me. Even her friend kept talking to her as if nothing had happened. I also noticed that there were elderly passengers who could have advised that woman not to treat her daughter like that. But everyone was keeping quiet and pretending not to even notice what was happening. It's a really sad world.
0
fishy
JT really knows how to get people to post their comments!!!!
without a hesitation, I would intervene if anything looked inappropriate.
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smartacus
fishy
Exactly what would you do if the adult told you to mind your own business and kept on berating the child? If you touch the child, you could be in big trouble and if you touch the adult, you could be in even bigger trouble. There are not a lot of options other than to stand nearby and glare.
0
Foxie
I always intervene when I see a child being hit and also when parents are telling kids off using vulgar language. And if the parents say that I should mind my own business, I tell them off.
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mrskit
i think it is as people have said, discipline and abuse are two different things If I see a parent going ballistic, I look at them and say'WAO' (Japanese pronounciation of WOW) really loudly, or Kawai so (poor thing),,,, usually the WAO! gets the adult to stop what they are doing
0
ambrosia
I've once seen what I thought constituted abuse and I did intervene. It stopped the abuse in the short-term but I doubt did anything in the long-term. At that time, my Japanese wasn't good enough to express any sympathy with the mother for being exhausted, put out by the child's bad behavior, etc., which is what I've read you should do rather than attack the parent who will probably stop but remain angry and take it out on the child again later at home. Most parents seem to be doing fine from what I can see. Of course you have the extremes, the parents who ignore their children and those who are constantly nagging and harping on the kids for every single thing. Pity the children with parents like those.
As for letting the kid sit while mom or dad stands, I'd like to suggest that it is not always or even usually simple over-indulgance on the part of the parent. In the past I made my nephew sit even when he didn't want to and even when it meant I stood. He wasn't very tall and couldn't reach the handles. Because of this he'd get shoved about a great deal when people got on and off the trains. He was knocked over once and had his hand stepped on. That was the last time I let him stand until he grew tall enough to reach the straps. It was easier for me to keep my eye on him when he was sitting because he wasn't getting carried along with the crowd or simply not paying attention and trying to get off at the wrong stop. Now he gives up his seat to me or the elderly, the injured and pregnant woman, like a good gentleman and good person. It seems fairly logical to me and I've never understood why people are so judgmental about this practice.
0
FireyRei
Erm, wrong country for this topic. I have never seen that happen in 15 years here.
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Patrick Smash
I once intervened after a woman roundhouse-kicked her daughter (aged around 7 or 8) in the stomach and knocked her flying. I followed it through til the police came as well. Then I was tols officially to sod off and mind my own business. A few months ago a couple of Japanese chaps wanted me to intervene to prevent a salaryman take a kicking from 3 yobs. I'm 6'10", and could have sorted them out. Yeah, or be arrested myself, which was the threat when I intervened for a child. Just stay out of it. If the authorities will not back you up, you cannot help.
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PenelopePitstop
Where do you live FireyRei? In the few years that I've been living in Tokyo, I've never seen so many people hit their kids in public. And so many people walking by as if what was happening was totally normal. As someone who doesn't speak japanese well enough to speak my mind, I'm always trying to get someone's attention who might help, or stand their in front of the abusive parent hoping they'll be embarrassed enough by my presence to stop, but it never works!
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Zenny11
Not sure where FireyRei lives.
I have seen some things that to me felt wrong or just not right, still nothing that I would class as abuse.
Said that the area I live in is a bit more rural and consists mostly of families and most japanese seem to be doing a fair job with their kids. BTW, none are driven to school here, etc.
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ambrosia
Just because you've never seen it certainly doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I've seen it at least once and most everyone I know has witnessed it as well. Child abuse is an issue in many countries and Japan far from immune to that particular social ill. I always find it amazing when people say they don't see things that so many other people do see. Different levels of attentiveness to what's going on around you, I guess.
Japanese child abuse at record high, police data shows August 5th, 2010 BBC news Asia Pacific
0
Mittsu
Spare the rod and spoil the child used to be the mantra. now it is considered inappropriate to take any form of physical action against a nipper. truth must be somewhere in between
0
EbiChiri
You have no business interfering and will more than likely get yourself in hot water with all parties.
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fishy
like I said, if it is obviously INAPPROPRIATE, I would intervene.. If the child was just being scolded at or being spanked on her/his hiney, I would not do or say anything, but for example, if the child was being kicked, punched and etc, I would intervene and say something to the adult/parent, because in my book, you should NEVER kick or punch a child (or any other human being).
I would just tell the adult to stop, and if he/she tells me it is none of my business, then I'd say yes it is, because it is my responsibility (or anybody's responsibility) to protect a child from possible injury.
I would not touch the child nor adult, I'd try to talk.. if I get in trouble for just talking.. Oh well. But if I saw an adult really hurting a child and me not doing or saying anything and left the scene, I would feel extremely angry at myself..
Like some people have said, it is definitely case by case.. but when it's obvious that the child is being hurt, then why not opening your mouth and say something??
0
combinibento
I will assume "roughly handling" was intentionally chosen in this question to avoid confusion with the term "violently handling." As such I would assume it to be a parent and I would ignore it, continue slipping coins into the BOSS vending machine, and be on my way. No kid is in danger from "rough handling."
0
Takuma7
Never saw an Okniawan parent roughly handling their kids most of the time it's the other way around. Heard an American parent yelling some nice words to their kid, was way to big for me to step in.
0
toyotomi
There is a world of difference in "rough" and "violent". Seen many a J-mum flip out on the smallest thing their tyke did. I just moved along. They was just blabbing and sticking the finger in the kid's face.
Violent, saw it once on the subway. A J-mum actually hit her son so hard on the head he folded to his to his knees. I lost it. In Japanese I told her, "You doing that can cause brain damage. He won't pass his college tests and won't beocome a salaryman drone to support you in old age. Be careful what you do today it has consequences in the future."
Then I gave the tyke a piece of candy, dusted him off, and sent him back to the shocked mum. Leaving the train I heard a small voice of the lad say, "Arigatou!" Made my day it did.
0
ambrosia
EbiChi at 02:54 PM JST - 26th January "You have no business interfering and will more than likely get yourself in hot water with all parties."
At what point does minding ones own business make one complicent in an illegal and immoral act? To paraphrase a famous quote: All it takes for evil to be allowed to happen is for good men to do nothing.
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ambrosia
0
Patrick Smash
ambrosia, unfortunately a group of 4 police officers wanted to arrest me rather than listen to me (and 2 elderly Japanese neighbours of mine) explain that a roundhouse kick to an 8-year old girl's abdomen that knocked her off her feet was not a shiri-pen-pen from a caring parent. If that girl is killed by her mother one day, my conscience is clear. I will not step in again knowing that the authorities are not interested in dealing with this problem, and knowing that the police are not concerned by child abuse. I ain't from round these parts.
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ambrosia
Patrick: I understand what you're saying and understand the difficulty in trying to do the right thing, which you did do so if something further happens to that poor girl it will not be your fault. Still, that girl is not necessarily the same child who might need help in the future and the police who didn't help are not the same ones you may have to deal with in the future. Most everyone I know has a cell phone and most of them have cameras with video functions. Those are great ways not only to record evidence that could help the police understand what happened but also to let an abusive parent know that they are being watched. There is no perfect way to deal with this type of situation but it's hard to imagine anyone with a conscience or modicum of compassion just walking away if they thought what they were witnessing were really abuse.
0
bdiego
There is not enough information to do anything based on the info given. Physical discipline is controversial, but under current law a legal right. Roughly handling a child may be entirely appropriate if you are grabbing him from running into the street after a ball. Abuse and danger of serious injury are the only thing you should stop. The original question is really baiting rather than interesting.
The last thing you should do is think two wrongs make a right.
0
pamelot
toyotomi : Love it. 'Hope she really got the message.
0
cactusJack
I once saw a 6 year old boy get repeatedly slapped in the face by the grand-ma while in the check-out line at the store. I was about 2 slaps away from intervening and slapping that old b*tch.
0
dano2002
I wonder how many of you actually have kids? My point being that kids often need a good spanking. And, since they know that bad behavior may lead to a spanking, they will adjust their bad behavior. So, you don't have to constantly spank.
Now, for those who do have kids and do not spank, i would love to know how you discipline yor child? talking to? reasoning? some type of punishment?
0
papasmurfinjapan
Next time your kid misbehaves, try a time-out. Remove the child from where he has been misbehaving, put him in a room with no distractions (such as toys etc), then leave him alone for a few minutes. After that you'd be surprised how open to reason a child becomes. Works like a charm on my 4yr old.
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Zenny11
Tine-out works just not when he/she misbehaves in public
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papasmurfinjapan
@Zenny11
Any suggestions for dealing with misbehaving kids in public?
My son has had, and will continue to have his moments, but I've never felt the need to spank him. Reasoning with him always seems to work... maybe I'm just blessed with a good kid.
Although I have misgivings about it, I'm not 100% against spanking as a form of discipline as long as it is done responsibly. However, my memories of being spanked as a child are mostly of pain and fear, not remorse for anything I did wrong - "fear" and "pain" are not things I want my son to remember his dad by.
0
Zenny11
papasmurfinjapan.
As was mentioned above reasoning best works once they are above a certain age. Either way if it works for you all is good.
0
cleo
Yes I do and no they don't.
Depends on the age of the child and what they're doing wrong - it's impossible to say, 'In all instances, do this' It doesn't work like that. papasmurf's time-outs are useful, as is explaining why it's wrong (you're going to spank a kid for doing something he didn't know was wrong??). Older kids can be grounded, privileges withheld, etc.
Waiting for a kid to do the wrong thing and then teaching him it's wrong by laying into him is not a very effective or fair way of raising a child.
If you raise the kid right in the first place, to know right from wrong, he shouldn't be doing anything that needs 'discipline' often enough for it to be a problem.
0
ambrosia
If you think a kid is too young to understand reason then what's the point in spanking him except to instill some sort of Pavlovian fear response. I know plenty of kids who've never been spanked but still manage to be great kids. Time-outs, taking away favorite toys, not going on planned outings, removing the child from the situation, removing offending objects (scissors, knives, etc.) from the child, regular naps, lots of love and affection, appropriate attention paid at appropriate times, not encouraging behavior that you logically know is going to irritate you after three or four repeats just because it was cute or funny once, treating siblings fairly / equally, not rewarding attention-seeking behavior or giving in because that's the easiest thing to do and finally, letting them know when they've done something right or a good job. I hope I've offered enough alternatives to spankings and I hope you'll try them. Like other posters here, I was spanked by my short-tempered father and all it did was create a bad relationship based on fear that took years to repair. I respected and obeyed my mom, who never hit me, and we have a wonderful relationship. Coincidence perhaps but I tend to think it's causal.
0
kwbrow2
@toyotomi I am glad the kid was appreciative that you helped out and I am glad you did what you did. I wish more people were more outspoken. And most of all I hope the mother stopped smacking her kid around. It is difficult to watch Japanese parents smack their kids about the head and do nothing. But so far I have bitten my lip and done nothing. But at some point I would step in. If I thought the child was in grave danger, If the parent crossed the line, I would have to do something. Other teachers and parents have told me not to do anything because I could get in trouble. I do have morals and a conscience. Doing the right thing is often harder than doing nothing.
0
Derailler
I was in the local park with my girlfriend last summer, and there were two Chinese women sitting on a bench. One had a baby in a pushchair, and the other had a young lad of about 4 years old, who was playing on the slide.
Suddenly, one of the Chinese women got up, stormed over and kicked the kid really hard in the leg / back area and hit is head HARD. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The kid just stood there sobbing silently, and the Mum went back over to the bench.
I went over and completely lost it at her...
0
PenelopePitstop
Very early on I ignored tantrums and so they stopped doing them. Time-out works very well, and as they got older "no tv", "no computer", "no mobile-phone", "no ipod", "no playdate" or "no pocket money" for a certain period of time, depending on what they did. Hitting a child teaches them nothing except that violence is better than words. What life lesson are you giving? Does your boss hit you when you make a mistake or your wife slap you when you spill a glass of water? No, we learn as adults that violence is wrong in society.... In my experience, implementing a punishment that shows them that their actions have medium and longer term consequences is much more useful.
0
GW
I wud only step in if I thought the kid was really in danger, the sad fact in Jpn is basically most dont give a damn about this stuff. And as others have pointed out if you step in & if the cops get involved you cud end in very serious trouble, the cops just WILL NOT give a damn about kids being abused but if they see some foreigner involved yr gig cud be up.
Same with traffic accidents I have stopped at 2, one I was right behind saw the whole thing play out, helped people a bit, just trying to keep them sitting & wait for the cops & the ambulence. The cops didnt give a damn about what happened, they didnt care about the people involved & they just shoed me away........ The 2nd time the wife & I were walking to our car at a mall, a car made a turn was broad sided & rolled over twice, the woman who got rolled kinda lost it & we just got her sitting on the curb, when the keystone showed, same as before didnt give a rats about anyone or anything just sat there making notes, eventually the woman settled down & we found out she was meeting her boyfriend in the lot right there, I went & found him & brought him over, the 3 of us had to empty her car of her stuff & put in his car, the cops were utterly useless.
Anyway lesson learned now unless I see someone in dire need to hell with it, neither cops or most in this society give a damn about each other why shud I when I cud put myself at risk or being dragged in by the keystones, sadly the risk is there
0
DocHolliday603
Absolutely I would intervene if I saw a child being beaten, However there is a big difference between a beating and disciplining a kid. A swat on the behind is not the same as a smack across the face out of anger. You cannot reason with a two year old. They are small terrorists with a list of demands. Concrete authority is what they understand, and you don't even have to do it very often before they realize they better knock it off when they see the "look" on dads face or hear the tone in moms voice. My experience is that it is better to have swift and sure punishment then love them up when they snap out of it, than to isolate them over time with a time out. Kids want to know where the limits are and that their parents love them enough to set boundaries, although they wouldn't say it quite like that. Anyone who would abuse a child deserves a good beating.
0
octopussy
Some kids are so dumb that they actually need to have good sense beaten into them. Personally, I've never had to do it with my own kids because I just say, "Okay, we're going home," and I take them out of the store. They start behaving really good and beg me to take them back to the store. With my Japanese students, it's different and I've done some pinching, hip checking and tripping. They always straighten up.
0
yasukuni
I think many of you don't realize how complex raising kids is. What works for one kid may not work for another. Have enough kids and you'll realize that some kids are just more defiant personality-wise. (I imagine that some of you would have given your parents more grief than your siblings!) Also, a person can have one or two kids (esp girls) who are naturally placid and think they know everything about parenting and judge others, but there can be a whole different dynamic when you have some boys who are super genki or love exploring (running away every chance they get), and who take longer to understand things than others.
That said, I have never seen what I would call physical child abuse in Japan yet. What I have seen and I absolutely hate is the type of language used. But I come from a pretty rough town and nothing compares to the language I've seen some mothers use to kids in Australia. The teachers of those kids would no doubt have a tough time explaining that some words are not acceptable.
Just remember that one time when you see something it may be a mother who is responding to a series of bad behavior and is exasperated, and she might regret her actions later too.
I'm old school, and if I thought that the only way I could get through to a kid that running away from the adult and on to a street was wrong and dangerous, I would smack. It works. Better a smack than a funeral.
Abusive language should never be used. And smacks or anything physical shouldn't even still hurt a few minutes later.
After the raving, here is my simple answer. I think most parents who see a case of discipline would be able to tell if it were abuse or not. As one person said, there are times when you would think that the action isn't what you would do, but not bad enough to warrant intervention.
If I thought it was serious and the kid was in danger, I would intervene. No hesitation. But there are different ways to intervene. Case by case. Intervening every time you see a parent smack a kid is just stupid.
My personal theory is that once kids can understand language, there shouldn't be much need at all for any kind of physical discipline, if you've done enough work in the very early years.
One poster talked about a mother roundhouse kicking a child. Yeah, I would intervene somehow in that situation. That is just ridiculous. But a person who does that is pretty far gone, and it's sad that they became a parent in the first place. i.e You shouldn't have to include "Don't kick your kids" in the parenting class.
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papasmurfinjapan
Exactly.
If you think your child cannot be reasoned with or is too young, then try distracting them, make them laugh, change their surroundings, buying an ice-cream and eating it together... there are plenty of ways to turn a grumpy kid into a happy one. The trick is finding what works for you. Hitting and rough handling to me seems to be the fall-back method for parents who don't know how to properly communicate with their kids.
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mrtestsworth
If you are a foreigner are not panning to stay in Japan long term, I would say, intervene. If, like me, you have a family and plan to stay here for a long time do not ever get involved with any kind of situation/confrontation involving Japanese people. The authorities will not support you.
0
cleo
Leaving out the 'need for physical discipline' bit, I agree with that statement.
So many people concentrate on 'what to do when the kid plays up' instead of 'how to get the kid not to play up in the first place'. Instead of looking for the chance to 'discipline' the child, look for chances to praise him. It can be anything as minor as getting more of his dinner in his mouth than on the floor, drinking from his feeder cup without spilling too much. As the child gets older, praise him for holding your hand on the street, for telling you when the light has turned green, anything. When he starts preschool, make sure he knows the first picture he brings home from art class is a masterpiece, even if he has to tell you what it's supposed to be. The thing is to make it feel good to be good. That's much more powerful than 'the "look" on dads face' or 'the tone in moms voice' - neither of which work very well when mum and dad aren't there.
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gogogo
I wouldn't like it but anything over a smack is too much, a child needs to be taught right and wrong and these days kids seems to get away with murder... shesh I sound old!
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miamum
I was just sitting in the kids play area this morning at a shopping centre with my 3, who were doing what kids do in a play area - letting off steam. We were the only ones in there, but a woman came up with her ONE child and looked at us all in disgust and kept her little one well away.
My point is that having only one is very different to having two or three or more, boys and girls are different and all kids are different - what worked for my daughter never worked for my son, and as for the baby - excuse me for a second while I resuce him from the table....
...Ok, I
m back! I can understand how and why parents lose it, but as many say there is a world of difference between a smack on the bum and getting beaten. I have seen a few mothers whack their kids around the head. Its awful and I look horrified, but I have (thankfully) never actually seen a kid beaten.If I ever do I think stepping in as a foreigner is very dangerous ground, as many have pointed out. Probably what I would do is make a big show of filming the beater with my cellphone, and let them know they are on camera. Hopefully that would be enough to stop it and make them think twice.
I think awareness is gradually - gradually - rising here as to the issue of child abuse, but as foreigners we are always on dodgy ground with the whole "this is our culture" thing.
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YongYang
Never have never will hist my children. If you hit you set the example that violence is OK. That you are impotent and unable to find a solution. Stupid. Yes, I have asked as to why a man was hitting on a child, asked him if he'd like a shot at the title. He didn't continue or take his chances with an adult. Funny that.
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YongYang
Goddamn it, 'hit'. Not even the keyboard.
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