Is a man giving up his seat to a woman on a train or bus an outdated form of respect?

Saturday 06th September, 05:11 AM JST

Latest 15 of 60 Total Comments Show All

uperjer at 08:56 PM JST - 7th September

chivalry isn't dead. i give up my seat because it's the right thing to do.
isthistheend at 09:11 PM JST - 7th September

There is ALWAYS someone to give your seat up to. Ever notice? You give it up once, you can give it up 1000 times and there'll still be someone to give it up to. Why do you think so many people sleep on the trains? They want to stay put! But seriously, as foreigners, hurray for chivalry, and I'll join the ranks on occasion when there's reallyh someone in need. I'm surprised that no one here has mentioned how the natives will often refuse to take the seat that you offer, not wanting to be shamed. I've had that happen more than I can count. So it gets to be tricky. Do I make the gesture and then be chagrined/refused? Or should I just stay put like all the natives. Then there are the cases when just as I stand up, someone about 2 seats down suddenly stands up, not to be out-shamed by a foreigner.
Sarge at 11:28 PM JST - 7th September

isthistheend - On second thought, forget "Teme! Tatte!" That could wind up very nasty. Instead, say, "Kare ( or Kanojyo in the case of a woman ) tsukaresou naa" ( He/she looks tired ). Yeah, I know that's lame...

"There's always someone to give your seat up to."

Not on Amtrak ha ha ha
lipscombe at 11:36 PM JST - 7th September

I wont stop being polite, it amuses me to see the Japanese who look at my holding the door-open as if it were a covered pit trap tactic.
Blue_Tiger at 12:43 AM JST - 8th September

No, it isn't: it is common courtesy, not to mention chivalry and gentlemanly. When I'm traveling on the train, bus, or subway alone, I usually give my seat up if it is crowded. If I'm with my wife, I usually don't...
Blue_Tiger at 12:44 AM JST - 8th September

Agreed, lipscombe...I usually get that "Okay, when's the other shoe going to fall?" look...
lipscombe at 12:52 AM JST - 8th September

yeah, it's annoying when they actually look you in the eye and then take a detour to open a door themselves, still we try eh...
Triple888 at 02:17 AM JST - 8th September

Women nowadays aren't really women in the traditional sense. So should not be treated according the traditions.
OgieDoggie at 01:15 PM JST - 8th September

Moot point people... in my view since it will be IMPOSSIBLE to move (get up from seat, move side ways..etc) on those crowded morning trains, even if you wanted to give up your seat you wouldn't be able to get out of it.
bushlover at 03:52 PM JST - 9th September

I won't give my seat up to a woman. I may be accused of being sexist. I believe in equality for all.
toolongheremaybe at 04:42 PM JST - 9th September

It's nice to stand up and offer a seat to a woman. I have done it many times, and it usually makes a woman's day. She probably tells all her friends about it and says how foreigners are such gentleman.

BUT, don't be surprised if you are first refused. A lady of 80 who obviously is dying to sit down will often say no first. Just offer again, and they will, or explain that you are getting off soon. Some of you forget that Japanese of the old school of manners will sometimes refuse once or twice for politeness. Even some foreigners still do that. Offering your seat and having someone say no at first doesn't mean they hate foreigners. And the advice of saying "temee tatte" is stupid. Maybe it was a joke, but some people who don't know Japanese might actually say it. Any foreigner who said that to a Japanese on a train needs to go back home.
omarbabilon at 01:40 PM JST - 10th September

I do it, and i think it's not outdated, stupid or sexist. It is really hard to see a salary man giving his seat to an old, pregnant or handicaped women, I'm sorry to say this... but for me is unacceptable. Anyway, in another situation if i want to give my seat to a young lady, who maybe is tired... why not?..., maybe she could be more safe from chikans and perverts. Outadated?, stupid?, sexist?, so sorry dude... i was teached if you are men you are stronger than a woman..., why not to make a difference in a country where women are treated as second class citizens.
Jayeln at 02:12 PM JST - 11th September

Everyday's a tough war to fight with ojisans in order to get the seat in trains..
Richard_III at 03:58 PM JST - 11th September

Yep, I'll give my seat unconditionally to a pregnant or elderly lady; if I'm stood up and and there's an empty seat in front of me and a lady next to me, then I'll offer it to her first. If i'm at the stairs and a lady is struggling with a suitcase or pushchair I always like to help out as well.

If anything, it's nice to do these things if not to distinguish yourself from the uncouth extremely poorly mannered rabble of Japanese men, whom I believe by and large to have shocking manners.
Philosophy187 at 03:03 PM JST - 15th September

There is a social institution called Time Management - All women and men grow equally. It is not my fault that you are old ,pregnant, cripple or retarted - google the schedule and get with the program.