Sunday May 27, 2012

JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION

What is the best way to combat bullying in schools?

Have Your Say Sep. 02, 2009 - 07:29AM JST ( 30 )

Order by Time Order by Popularity

30 Comments

0

AK619Sep. 02, 2009 - 07:55AM JST

Simple solution, kick a student out of school if they bully other students. School is a place for people to learn, and if someone is taking that right from another person, then the bully should be dissmissed.
0

FryingMonkeySep. 02, 2009 - 08:11AM JST

Same way I did it, hit back. These bullies are usually the weakest kid in class, just the loudest.
0

mansenSep. 02, 2009 - 08:48AM JST

This is a very serious problem in junior high school in Japan. Bullying accurs usually by 2 or more people. I believe it s because of peer pressure...you won't do it alone, but if you have a group who thinks it s ok, they end up doing it together, because they think it s alright since others are doing it. And usually it escalate from there.

When I was a kid, I was bullied. I wanted to get a bat and beat the crap out of him, but I didn't because I fear the consequences. Some of those bullies became very good friends of mine later on in my life and became very successful in life.

Some of you might not agree, but I think educating is the best way. Schools in Japan, should start a mandatory curriculum class to prevent bullying and get the parents involved. I really think most of the bullies just don't fully understand the stituation and gets got up in peer pressure.
0

OsakadazSep. 02, 2009 - 08:55AM JST

In a land that is so famous for its martial arts..get the kids doing Karate or kenpo or Judo..aikido even.Bullies are only tough around their mates,and one good punch often makes them think again.
0

warispeaceSep. 02, 2009 - 09:13AM JST

I guess you'd have to fire all the bullies. . This is a question about the teachers, isn't it?
0

nisegaijinSep. 02, 2009 - 09:29AM JST

boxing.
0

AltriaSep. 02, 2009 - 09:31AM JST

Public humiliation.
0

FarmboySep. 02, 2009 - 10:01AM JST

Well, the first thing is to help people to understand that committing suicide is NOT the way to deal with bullies. I think mansen's suggestion above about education is good, forming groups for self-defense is good, learning to deal with aggression is good, learning boxing is good, but let's face it...if you have a few large bullies and a few weak students, the bullies will win (unless the weak students have stun guns or something). There is no easy answer.
0

ratpackSep. 02, 2009 - 10:35AM JST

Teach them that the bullies are usually cowards hiding behind their terror tactics. They are trying to create the imagine of super tough dude to impress their riff raff friends. Drop him like a bag of potatoes and listen to him squeal like a girl.
0

timorborderSep. 02, 2009 - 11:21AM JST

Zero tolerance. You bully and you are out. Such behavior is not acceptable in the wider world, it should not be acceptable at schools. Furthermore, parents should be held responsible for the acts of their little darlings. Name and shame these people and their obvious lack of parenting skills. Also allow for the suing of such people by plaintiffs. Hit them in the pocket and put them out on the street if necessary.

Moreover, if bullying involves behavior that is paramount to assault (it has to be remembered that assault does not necessarily mean physical harm or violence under the law, the mere inference of such may sufficc), the persons who carry out such acts should be charged and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. This means remand and juvenile detention for children. They want to screw up other kids lives? Payback is a bxtch. Fit these kids up with a criminal record that follows them for life. Moreover, prosecute those persons who fail to act to stop bullying despite being aware of its existence (that means you teachers). If stakeholders in the school yard don't have the moral fortitude to stand up for the rights of the children placed in their care, they should be treated as accessories either before or after the fact. Again if found guilty, such people should be made guests of the state, and any resulting criminal record should follow them to the grave.

As I said to start with zero tolerance.
0

MarcoPolo47Sep. 02, 2009 - 11:47AM JST

Home schooling.
0

falcon007Sep. 02, 2009 - 11:52AM JST

I have 3 girls in school. The youngest was bullied. It started with name calling and quickly went to physical contact. I went to the principal and I was very blunt. Japanese aren't used to this. I told him that there should be a zero tolerance policy towards bullies but I could see that it was falling on deaf ears. So, I became aggressively direct and said that if my daughter comes home crying or with another bruise on her again, I WILL GO AFTER THE TEACHER.

There hasn't been another incident since then.

POINT IS: I felt bad and I felt like an ass but I had no choice as I felt I had no other recourse.

I feel that the parents are mostly to blame here. They get angry when they are told that their child has done something wrong or that the are a bully. The parents actually get angry and start yelling at the staff and the teachers. I have witnessed this first hand at PTA meetings many times. Also, I have seen how Japanese parents let their kids talk to them. When I was growing up, I was taught to respect the elders and speak with respect. Here? The kids actually tell their parents what to do and they do it with a snotty attitude that would have gotten me an ass beating.

I feel that both a zero tolerance policy and an education class on HOW TO BE A PARENT for the parents is necessary.
0

timorborderSep. 02, 2009 - 12:08PM JST

Good on you falcon. I had a bit of a similar experience with my elder son when he started junior high. There was a certain teacher who liked to lay into the kids to compensate for his clear lack of leadership. I arranged to meet my son at the school gate (when the teacher was present) while in the company of our larger dog. Uncharacteristically, I allowed the dog to deliver a verbal challenge as a form of sending a message. As if by magic, my son has had no problems since.

At the end of the day, most Japanese people have a serious aversion to implied physical confrontation and/or conflict. As such, just the hint of unleashing 120kg+ of irate mastiff muscle on them, or threatening police intervention (and the resultant shame) usually does the trick.

Remember zero tolerance of bullying.
0

cleoSep. 02, 2009 - 12:31PM JST

just the hint of unleashing 120kg+ of irate mastiff muscle on them.....usually does the trick.

Fostering the impression among the general public that big dogs and the people who own them are dangerous and likely to lose control? Not a good idea.

Remember zero tolerance of bullying.

Works both ways. I don't think you'd want zero tolerance of your big dog.
0

tokyokawasakiSep. 02, 2009 - 01:26PM JST

CCTV?
0

stormcrowSep. 02, 2009 - 01:44PM JST

Being a parent and having had some experience with this problem in Japan, it always surprises me at how inept a lot of the Japanese teachers are when it comes to dealing with bullies. As far as fighting back, it sounds good but the way they bully here is in groups against individuals. Unless you're Bruce Lee, these isolated kids who are being tormented by groups are quite helpless. Thus, it's critical for the schools & teachers to take a more responsible & decisive role, but in Japan schools & teachers are almost never willing to take such a stance. They would prefer to see the tormented student quit and go on to a different school and, in effect, leave the bullies (note of the pluralization) in place and undisturbed. It's a truly a miserable situation. However, there are a few schools which do nip the problem in the bud, and that's where the best solution to this problem lies.
0

BigInJapanSep. 02, 2009 - 01:45PM JST

I don't believe in big dogs or verbal treat of the teachers. It is for s*ssies!

I think we should apply the good old American solution: If someone bullies you, you go down the shop buy an automatic gun, ammunition and some hand grenade. Shooting down some screaming students and teachers gains you respect, and no-one wants you fark with you again! Yeah!
0

DarkichiSep. 02, 2009 - 02:41PM JST

It is easy to say he /she the weakest that why they are a bully that is a lie sometimes it is the meanest, biggest and ect. The real problem is the mob that see it is easy as a group to follow no questions just do. This fits the Japanese life style so if you are odd with no group you will be a victim. That is why we make friends in the hopes we are not alone. if you stand up for yourself make sure it is just you and the bully other wise the mob will fight not the bully.

I have known some kids who were being victims of bullys but you never no it. That is not tell you read the note they left to the school and you. One boy one girl JHS a few years ago. The boy was well liked funny ok grades and good life he was picked on everyday by friends who thought it was fun to how far they could push him. Three months that was it to the friends it was a game. The girl great softball player good grades very well liked. Her team mates and coach became her bully and reason was she drop the ball in practice. Two months later she took her life. Team mate and coach were all sorry but nothing else. I knew them they loved English we would talk all the time but I never knew nor did the familys. You could say they were weak and gave in but none of us were in those shoes when that moment happen. For most killing ones self is not an option but here it is a honorable one to save face, family, or one own honor. They need to be shown this is not an option living is most importent. But only time will tell.
0

SargeSep. 02, 2009 - 02:48PM JST

Make the bully pay a price too high to justify the bullying.
For example, after I bloodied the face of the bully who broke my glasses ( and all kinds of other stuff ) he decided that price was too high to bother me anymore.
0

stirfrySep. 02, 2009 - 03:36PM JST

beat the living snot outta them...twice
0

mansenSep. 02, 2009 - 03:46PM JST

The problem with teachers and staff in Japan is that they all probably were the instigator or the receiving end of bullying when they were students. I heard from my colleagues that when they were students, bullying was part of school. ANd they said it was a lot more tougher back than(30yrs ago). The teachers didn't care at all nor the parents, he said everyon(PTA) indirectly accepted it as part of school education.

I asked him how he dealt with it. And he told me it was simple, the bigger students bullied him, and when he got bigger, he bullied the smaller kids.
0

ratpackSep. 02, 2009 - 03:51PM JST

Take your pick....nose, throat or groin and make it really hurt.
0

jessssicaaaSep. 02, 2009 - 06:54PM JST

haha nice one ratpack.. >.>

Ok. I think! People whould have this attitude "If you have nothing nice to say, good for you" and walk away.. if somebodys trying to beat you up get away or defend yourself. Lol.. why stand there and get hurt, get away tell the right people.. or as i do "You want to beat me up? go for it, i dare you!" then slowly step forward haha bad way to go at it though.. i just dont take crap from people ^^
0

dzimmermSep. 02, 2009 - 09:23PM JST

I think the reason bullying occurs is due to the intermixing of extroverts and introverts. Extroverts draw power and security by getting attention and being surrounded by people. Introverts draw power from solitude. When you mix the two in a forced social interaction the extrovert tends to pick on the introvert because they do not understand why the introvert does not want to be their friend or part of their gang.

Early classification of students into these two groups and then separating them into different schools would allow the learning of lessons and socialization to advance to the point where you could then mix the two and both would be mature enough to deal with their differences.

If a extrovert bullies an extrovert they get in a fight or their different gangs get into a fight and there is resolution. They may even become friends after that. If an extrovert bullies an introvert the introvert is all alone, or if they have a small group of friends who are also introverts, those friends are robbed of power by the large number of people around them.

An introvert will never openly confront anyone so it is unlikely an introvert would be bully in a school situation. Introverts who are bullies, maybe from past bad experiences in schools, are usually low to mid-level managers who have unresolved problems in their past.

You can not change a left hander into a right hander and you can not change an introvert into an extrovert. The extrovert and introvert can work together and great teams are formed this way. The problem is children and young adults do not have the wisdom to use this partnership.

Let the two groups grow and mature before you mix them together to form a stable solution.
0

KitsuneYoukaiSep. 03, 2009 - 01:15AM JST

Tough penalities and counseling for the people who bully. They need to take some responsibility for pushing someone off the deep end.
0

SiouxGirlSep. 03, 2009 - 02:36AM JST

It really has to start at home with a counselor or teacher from the school talking to the parents about what their child is doing. This would also be a good time to observe the child's home situation. My friend in school was a bully - a tall girl with a loud mouth. I didn't know it at the time but at home she was being abused by her step-father and uncle. Her step-father was also a quiet alcoholic. In my former job I worked with an adult bully full of the smart comments and practical jokes. Turned out at home her husband was making fun of her weight 24/7. They're acting out in some way and it needs to stop, for their benefit and everyone else's. If they continue, what's the rest of their life going to be like? Do you think they'll have true happiness or inner peace? Of course, maybe not everyone values these things. But I'm very much a counselor-type person. This is what I think would be a good starting place.
0

onewrldonepplSep. 03, 2009 - 10:44AM JST

option 1: take your child to self-defense classes or rent/buy the DVDs and study with your child @ home.

option 2: seek out the bullies' parents with an aluminum bat and repay them in kind. he he he ... to paraphrase another poster: "groin, groin or groin ... take your pick" wink
0

memyselfISep. 03, 2009 - 01:32PM JST

I used to work forJapanese Public Schools for awhlle in Senior/Junior H.S. and also Elementary Schools.

I've seen teachers bullying kids. I've seen kids bullying teachers physically and mentally. I've seen student bullies individual and groups going after 1,2or 3 victims. I stopped many fights between students going after teachers or student vs. student. Most children do not tell the parent or keep it a secret until it is too late. If guns was accesssible in JAPAN. There would be many school shooting in japan. Usually thhe bullies' parents are very weak too. Usually the bullies' parents don't care or don't have a loveing relatiionship at home with their family. Usually bullies are LONELY people with no way to express themselves. So they find weak people to express their feelings of sorrow on. It's usually jealousy that starts this problem The Solution: The student has to talk to a teacher v. principal or principal that cares. Tell your child or someone, school is not forever. When you grow up this will all be but of a memory. Last resort Teach them to fight back self defense tactics is the way to go. If it is verbal abuse ,give verbal abuse back. Find some weakness about that child and exploit it. Tell your child to make fun of his/her family clothing or lifestyle. Use funny or strong words to destroy the bully. Talk about the bully's mother. That usually works !!! Sucker punch and talking heavy smack usually works well. Fight only if it is self defense.Let the bully make the first move. And counter attack. girl vs. girl usually a hard smack to the face will change everything And a super punch to the stomach. boy vs. boy usually a sucker punch to the nose and hard kick works best if the bully is heavy than your son or daughter. Always have an escape route in motion. If it gets heavy. Aim for the nose is the last resort.

Some teachers will help you some will not. Find the teacher that will help you. Sometimes white lies are good ,exaggerate, tell the teacher he has a knife or something and he threatened your life. choking is also a good lie. Good Luck child remember school is not forever. Remember 20 years from now he/ she will be a salesperson at ssoftybanks. Who cares Or throw his or her belongs in the trash or out the window after school or recess when nobody is looking. I don't condon violence. Last resort self defense I used to be a victim of bully violence but now I am happy. weeee !!!!!!
0

RandomTaskSep. 03, 2009 - 05:06PM JST

Fighting back is pretty hard , usually bullying is a group activity, and they want you to fight. They will push you, taunt you and trip you up until they get a reaction, then they will beat you up, destroy or steal your stuff. There isn't a lot you can do unless you can get a group of friends together to fight back.
0

ambrosiaSep. 03, 2009 - 08:48PM JST

I don't see how you can combat bullying in schools in a society where compassion and empathy are relatively lacking. One of the basic premises of Japanese culture is that it is best to blend in, to not stand out. Even when kids "rebel" here it is nearly always with a group of like-minded "rebels" who adhere to very strict rules about what to wear and so on. I'm not suggesting that fitting in is unique to Japan but it is a stronger cultural aspect than in most places. What that ends up meaning is that kids don't want to stick up for the bullied kid, parents don't want to cause trouble and the bullied kid doesn't want to go to a teacher because that will likely mean trouble for him or her rather than the bully(ies). You see this manifest itself in so many ways here all the way from elementary school up through corporate life where people are afraid to stand up for themselves.

If that sounds like doom and gloom sorry but I see little hope for change in respect to bullying because it's simply an underlying current of Japanese life. Don't take that to me you shouldn't try!