Sunday May 27, 2012

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  • 0

    smartacus

    Difficult question to answer. There are countless books written about it and the news is full of cases of people who became stalkers because they couldn't deal with it.

    I've been down that road once and know the agony. The person in love with someone who can't or won't love them back doesn't want to hear any advice. All they want is for the object of their love (addiction/fix) to love them back and they will try any means they can to make it happen, through manipulation, acting as a doormat, guilt, mind games, anger...you name it. I didn't want to hear friends' advice, read self-help books or get therapy. It was as if the child deep inside me had taken over. The child thinks: If I love him/her, he/she must love me back. It can't happen to one and not the other.

    Eventually, I just got sick of waiting for emails and phone calls that never came. But it took many wasted months before I came to this realization. I really sympathize with people suffering one-way love, and also the object of such attention. It is no fun for them either.

    If anyone reading this is suffering the agony of unrequited love, all I can say is I conquered the demons and you can, too. Get away from the object of your affection for a few days and ask yourself if this is making you happy. Then ask yourself which pain is greater: the pain of letting go or the pain of continuing to play mind games and replaying endless conversations in your head.

  • 0

    MissWorldTravel

    I think prevention is better. Send some hints and if thyre not interested then there is no need to persue him/her

  • 0

    littleboy

    Drive past her house slowly at 4am.

  • 0

    ronaldk

    Get drunk until you fall asleep, don't watch or listen to sentimental movies/songs, and immediately start back up the totem pole of love even with an ugly broad at first to gain back confidence. Golden advice.

  • 0

    RakishGadfly

    The obvious solution is to dress up a life-sized doll in clothes similar to the object of your unrequited love, and take the doll out for romantic dinners and walks in the park, preferably somewhere where the real person can see you and realize what a mistake he/she has made when he/she sees your obvious happiness. Always worked for me.

    Either that, or kill their Maple Story avatar.

  • 0

    jerseyboy

    Move on.

  • 0

    smartacus

    jerseyboy

    How do you move on?

    RakishGadfly

    Stupid advice for dealing with a serious problem.

  • 0

    Brainiac

    It's much more difficult to let go in supposedly mature adults than it is for a high school crush.

    I think if you know that the unrequited love is never going to be requited and if you realize what it is doing to your insides, then that is a positive start. It is when you live in a fantasy world hoping that he or she will fall in love with you, that you're going down a slippery slope toward disaster.

    Talk to a trusted friend, or better still try therapy, if you can afford it. If it is a recurring habit, you need to look at the reasons why you can't let go. A competent therapist can help you do this in a safe environment.

  • 0

    studebaker

    Do what some people here do: steal their laundry and build a doll.

  • 0

    Wakarimasen

    Japanese way is to get hysterical, inflict physical dmaage on ex or their possesions, go out and do it all over again.

  • 0

    Nippon5

    get over it and go find another woman..

    Or the new Nippon way...

    If you love something set it free... If it doesnt come back hunt it down and kill it.

    Sorry bad humor!!!

  • 0

    Patto

    I always went hang gliding. Spent the rest of the time crying my eyes out, but up in the sky I was focused on an invisible three-dimensional world of updrafts and downdrafts, with an alert eye to possible landing fields. Some people can let go just like that, but others, like me, take years to overcome an attraction to someone. Most therapists can't do a thing for you; however, I do recommend Emotional Freedom Technique (www.emofree.com) for rooting out the basis of your suffering, which is often in childhood traumas, and neutralizing it. Then you can be free to love but not require the other person to love you back.

  • 0

    Blue_Tiger

    Walk away. Just. Walk. Away. In fact, the greatest kind of love is being able to give it away and let it go when it walks away.

  • 0

    shuuu

    Kill the object of your desire's online avatar.

  • 0

    pointofview

    Depends how long the person has felt this way and on personality. But if you are starting to fall for someone ask them straight out how they feel about you. This may seem a little firm or direct but who cares, this is your life and you also have to look after yourself. If its after a long term relationship then thats really tough. In the end, you have to be able to convince yourself that you have the confidence to move on. Can`t waste too much time because in the end the other person is probably having a gay ole time. Also, keep yourself busy and do things that you have an interest in this tends to create positive thinking... All the best to whoever is in this situation.

  • 0

    norinrad21

    when the signs are written all over the place, you just have to man up and walk away. Don't waste your time

  • 0

    Seiharinokaze

    Used to listen to Miyuki's songs. Or read the last ten chapters of the Tale of Genji. But I came to know that a familiar national poem Iroha-Uta tells an all-time truth for more than 1000 years:

    We shall never allow ourselves to drift away intoxicated, in the world of shallow dreams.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iroha

  • 0

    jerseyboy

    smartacus...Simple, you simply close that box off in your mind, and get on with your life. Taking the attitude that things happen for a reason also helps. As does being arrogant enough to assume that it was her loss for not being smart enough to pursue the opportunity. Finally, don't revisit any places that make you think of her if possible.

  • 0

    some14some

    walk away by sending an email from: no-reply@....dont.com !

  • 0

    Noripinhead

    Write music. That's what Beethoven did.

  • 0

    bamboohat

    Exercise (of the intense cardio variety), be social, stay away from alcohol. And if you got the time and money, take a couple week trip to Bangkok. After that you'll be like "Who...?"

  • 0

    Lieutenant

    The best way...tough question. There's some good ideas above, some of which I could suggest next time I palm off unwanted attention.

  • 0

    ptolemy

    Take a week, if you can take that week off from work. Get stupid drunk every night with friends, try not to be alone. After that week, sober back up and look for someone new. That is the advice my dearly sainted father gave me. He also added, there is no person worth giving up on life over. I always thought pops was wise.

  • 0

    umioso

    Faggeddaboudit!

  • 0

    Deepinside

    wake up from the right side of the bed,and make you an strong and good breakfast. Read ReadToday,after that,go out and change your look,,new hairdress,new clothes,,try another style to atract new young girls,,change or remove some old stuff at home,pack old stuff from her in a box,(the more you see,the more you will remember),,buy you a new perfume,,Work your Ego,,is one of the best way to forget an old love....but remenber dont talk to the new girl about your old girl,Big mistake,,try to be cool and go dancing untill you feet hursts.......A BRAND NEW LOOK BRING EVERYTHING LESS SADNESS...Good Luck.....

  • 0

    Triumvere

    weightlifting/running

    use it as fuel to make some self-improvements

  • 0

    Nessie

    If it ever happens, I'll let y'all know. ;)

  • 0

    Lieutenant

    Don't bathe for a week. Or let yourself go. That ought to do it.

  • 0

    M51T

    Love/relationships is a project. Map it out: manage risks, exit plans, contingencies, other investments of time. The folks that concentrate fully on another lose their sense of themselves, and then when they realise they've failed, they also realise they've lost so much time they could have spent on themselves. Only when you develop yourself as a project, then others will be attracted, and YOU will be the one shunning someone's affections. Try it.

  • 0

    cracaphat

    Keep your pride,show some dignity and move on. Um... isn't that obvious ? Or is the question advocating stalking ?

  • 0

    yabits

    Suffer. And then slowly begin to examine your suffering and the self-dialogue that comes with it.

    Then, simply change the topic of conversation.

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