What's your impression of parental supervision of children in Japan?

Wednesday 30th April, 06:42 AM JST

Latest 15 of 56 Total Comments Show All

TheguyNextdoor at 08:25 AM JST - 2nd May

Ok. Everyone here does make a point, thats why this is open for discussion. Discipline can come in any form. Some prefer verbal/physical, each is its own. There are times when the verbal but kick isn't getting to your child (like many i see running the streets here in japan), that is when you turn to the old school methods. I agree with many of your comments, in this day and age parents do rely on schools to help groom their young, its not working (maybe with some, but most of that comes from the values your parents teach). I was good kid, but there were times i did "act a fool", verbal would not frighten me and I'd end up doing the same thing, but when I did get the belt (switch for some of the old school kids here) I learned not to be that fool. This was a good topic to discuss and see it from all its angles. I'm old school, if i have to say it more then once, you will get the hand across the backside.................
Seawhiz at 10:30 AM JST - 2nd May

Home training is not abuse, to give your child some corrective measures doesn't mean you are beating to death or abusing them. Mr. Smurf only a simple minded person like equate home training, spanking, and corrective behavior training to abuse of a child. Take for instance a 15 y/o boy, who parents just let him run crazy, never left a finger to give him any punishment for acting out in school or acting out in public. ex. the college kid that went crazy and killed all those people at Virginia Tech. His parents acted as if he never displayed any type of volent behavior prior to the mass killing. Had he had a father like Cmeandu, Guynextdoor, or myself, had he had a father like one of our father maybe he would have done what he did. Maybe he would have had someone to talk to correct him.

So smurf maybe want a mother like Cleo to pet you up and keep spoil to death but the last time I check it takes a community to raise a child, mother and father, grandmother and grandfather, Mrs. Debbie from across the way. What we have been saying the whole time is that parenting is about having enough love and compassion to let your child know that if they are acting out in the wrong way that this is how we corrected our kids. With love and compassion not anger or fear. I have gotten my ass whoop by my mom over and over again but I am here today writing this post with respect, Love and a whole lot compassion for my mother. Mom if you reading this it ur son LB03. Love ya. Cleo if you took my comments to the heart as I think you have then that your own business.

Moderator: Readers, please keep the discussion civil and do got get personal.
cleo at 10:41 AM JST - 2nd May

Seawhiz -

All that ass whoopin' didn't teach you much in the way of manners, huh? Like not calling folk 'stupid jerks' and 'simple minded' because they don't agree with you, or because you don't have the communicative skills to get your message across? Or do you need your Mom to come and whoop your ass again for that bit of bad behaviour? She's already whooped you 'over and over' - and we see the results.

What we have been saying the whole time is that parenting is about having enough love and compassion to let your child know that if they are acting out in the wrong way that this is how we corrected our kids.

Parenting is about teaching kids not to act out in the wrong way in the first place, not waiting until they put a foot wrong and then laying into them. Proactive, not reactive. Same with puppies.

Granted, it's harder work, takes more thought and effort on the part of the parent - but it works.
papasmurfinjapan at 11:18 AM JST - 2nd May

Seawhiz,

Just curious, where did I say that giving your child a spanking is tantamount to child abuse? Please don't twist my posts to fit your agenda.

I don't think people that occasionally spank their children are child abusers, but that doesn't mean I agree with their methods.
Seawhiz at 11:29 AM JST - 2nd May

Mothers, I wonder where your mother is right now, If she read this post the way you attack someone else mother but you clain to be mother who teaches her kids to know right from wrong apparently your mother didn't teach you anything as for as respecting your elders. If you are teaching your kids to debate someone by going after there mother than what makes you any better a parent than someone who neglects their kids or abuses their kid. Teaching your kids to verbally abuse other is just sad teaching to violently abuse others. How sad. But my mother says hello to you too.
Seawhiz at 11:38 AM JST - 2nd May

PapaM, Whats ur prefered method? You having stated how you would Discipline your child. As a matter of fact you having even stated if you are parent or not. It fun how people w/o any kids like to say in disagree with the way you teaching your kids but they are the same ones saying they never would have kids. U can't speak on something you have never done?
papasmurfinjapan at 12:01 PM JST - 2nd May

Seawhiz

Sorry I didn't know it was prerequisite to state your family details on this forum. I am the father of a 2 year old boy. When he throws a tantrum, I take away what is most valuable to him (right now that is a net with balls in it that he likes to play in) and explain he is not going to get it back until he starts behaving. It's amazing what 2 year olds can understand, because after a few more screams comes the sulking, then the begging for his toy back. After that he is usually pretty good.

Another method I use is I tell him he won't be able to watch the Wiggles until he puts away his toys, eats his dinner etc. Works every time.

Granted that approach may not work when he is 8yrs old, but by then no doubt I will have found something else to keep him in line.
Seawhiz at 12:56 PM JST - 2nd May

Thats good for you papasmurf. Verbal threats but stick to the topic regarding your impression of parental supervision of children in Japan. So what do you think Smurf, What your impression, how does parental supervision in the states or any other country differ from that of Japan? But to end all this envy and angry over parenting, Some of us like papa and cleo believe that spanking ur kids is a problem. I don't. Beating or abusing your kids is a problem but if u are a grown up and responsinble adult that have kids, I think you should raise your kid the way in which you want. Cleo and Papa u guys must be married or know of one another...
cleo at 01:17 PM JST - 2nd May

Seawhizz -

If you didn't want your mother's parenting skills commented on maybe you shouldn't have brought them into the discussion together with an example of their efficacy.

Teaching your kids to verbally abuse other is just sad

I agree. Who taught you the stuff you demonstrated in your 10:30 post? (I see the Mod is sparing your blushes and has edited out the most offending bit) Maybe it wasn't your mother. I'm sure she had a hard time raising you, and I respect her for it.

But you and the other 'hit-em' brigade keep making my point for me; simply teaching a kid that he'll be physically punished if he's caught doing wrong, won't turn him into a well-behaved human, it'll simply teach him not to get caught.

'Don't run into the road because if you do Mum/Dad will hit you' doesn't make sense. What about the consequences of running into the road when a parent isn't watching?

While I agree with most of what papasmurf has written on this thread, I think I would take a slightly different approach to the "Wiggles" issue; not a negative if you don't put your toys away, eat your dinner, etc., you can't watch the Wiggles, but a positive once you have put your toys away and eaten your dinner, you'll be able to watch the Wiggles. Nit-picking maybe, but I think there's a very important difference between a threat and a promise. Empower the child instead of coercing him, so that he thinks it's his idea to put the toys away, etc., to get what he wants. In the long run it's much more effective.
cleo at 01:18 PM JST - 2nd May

Seawhizz, what makes you think you're my elder?
papasmurfinjapan at 01:41 PM JST - 2nd May

Seawhiz

Read my ealier comments on what I think of Japanese parental supervision ya lazy bum. I'm not going to repeat myself just for you.
papasmurfinjapan at 01:43 PM JST - 2nd May

cleo,

cheers thanks for the pointer. I do take that approach sometimes, though admittedly not as often as I should.
Seawhiz at 02:23 PM JST - 2nd May

Look, I don't what world you live in or how you were raised but you were the childish one to put my mother in your post. That is what makes me think I am your elder. No one said anything about abusing kid, what is the hit em brigada BS? I have never hit my son and quite frankly I don't think I will ever have to hit him. But he will get the proper training on how to conduct himself at home and away from home. You can do what you want Cleo, I could care less if you spank or talk your kids to daath. I prefer to teach my child values and tradition. To get respect you must show respect but Empowering your child with wiggles or toys can only go so far. My method is more of teach, empower and if all else fails ask Cleo...... Thanks for the advice. How is you bring my mother into this thread for your own agenda have anything to do with how I will treat my kids or your kids for that matter. If you are going to talk about mothers talk your own. talk about how your mother set examples for you to talk about someone mother. and how you are teach your kids to go to school and talk about his or her teacher or friends mother. hmm. great parenting skill Cleo. But again if you wish to persist on regarding my mother and your mother I can drop down to your level and do same but I would like to stick to topic. how about you Cleo. topic or mothers??
cleo at 06:13 PM JST - 2nd May

Oh come on JT, answering Seawhizz puts me off topic but you reckon his post is on topic?
greensatindress at 10:15 AM JST - 15th May

what "parental supervision" in Japan? There is none. This country needs some serious re-education about disciplining and supervising children. I can't tell you how many times I want to grab a mother and shake some sense into her. Children are terrible here and mothers just spoil them because they are afraid their kid will end up hating them. Give them to me for supervision, I don't care if they hate me--I hate them to begin with anyway. If there is one thing I go on endlessly about it's children and mothers in this country.