What's your impression of parental supervision of children in Japan?

Tuesday 16th June, 04:00 AM JST

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ninjaboy at 12:10 PM JST - 17th June

In this culture, kids are left to fend for themselves. They grow-up learning to adapt to their environment from the 'school of hard knocks.' I've always found this difficult to understand in Japan ever since I was a student at a university in Tokyo many years ago and did home-stay. The parents would allow their three young children to play outside unsupervised for many hours in the carpark or run around the neighbourhood. Maybe it was the only time the mother could get some peace and quiet so she was glad to see the back of them (???) Whenever it rained and the kids had to play inside, they would run riot around the cramped apartment playing with (and throwing whatever they could find at each other), even knives from the kitchen. Their mother did nothing to warn them of how dangerous this was. But it wasn't just the family I stayed with, it's like this with pretty much all Japanese families I've ever met. There have been no end of times I've had to alert shop, restaurant, onsen, or security staff of an abandoned child crying their eyes out because the parents have wandered off to do something after telling the child to 'stay put - don't move,' ... Yeah.., like a child at such a young age is going to do that! Irresponsible parents are chiefly to blame for all the tragic and needless deaths we read about on this, and other, Japanese news sites.
Disillusioned at 01:17 PM JST - 17th June
Only one comment:
- Father, 3 children die in apparent murder-suicide in Hiroshima
ultradodgy at 02:52 PM JST - 17th June

If I hear one more mother yelling "abunai" at their kid while a) walking b) running c) playing or d) lying on the ground doing nothing, I think I'll lose my mind.
jackfish at 03:51 PM JST - 17th June

If we look at the outcome of Japanese parenting, rather than anecdotal observations, maybe we'll come to a different conclusion. Japanese people are gentle, hard working, respectful, humble, polite, and highly social. Its parenting that instills these values.
dracpoo2 at 04:02 PM JST - 17th June

Its not good enough. Enough said.
jonnyboy at 04:03 PM JST - 17th June

highly social

you're kidding me, right?
Disillusioned at 06:09 PM JST - 17th June

Japanese people are gentle, hard working, respectful, humble, polite, and highly social. Its parenting that instills these values.

did you read this in Lonely Planet?
gogogo at 07:11 PM JST - 17th June

Nothing, Japanese treat their kids like pets.
imacat at 08:04 PM JST - 17th June

There's all kind of parents in Japan, just like your country or mine.

Why can some people only see the bad parents? There are some really great mums and dads here... I've learnt a lot about parenting from them.
shanabelle at 10:07 PM JST - 17th June

What do I think of parent(al) supervision??? All for it....clearly a lot of young parents need supervision badly!!
madammiz at 07:30 AM JST - 18th June

Its all relative...good and bad in every country.
lordomni at 02:01 PM JST - 19th June

My general experience is that children are ignored until they hurt themselves, then they are either scolded or laughed at depending on the age. Its just amazing sometimes.
jacquii at 08:58 AM JST - 20th June

I agree with imacat, >

there's all kinds of parents in Japan, just like your country or mine. However, recently I was with my kids in Tsurumai Koen in Nagoya & was absolutely disgusted at the behaviour of a group of pre-teen boys (parents nowhere in sight) who were basically killing turtles from the pond, while other adult park-goers looked on impassively!! I was the big bad gaijin & went & told the boys to stop etc - I am sure that they continued on with their sadistic game as soon as we were out of sight... My daughters were shocked that this kind of behaviour was going on in plain sight at a public park at a pond that was dedicated to the exact animals these boys were terrorizing...a sad moment for us 3 for certain.
greensatindress at 09:12 PM JST - 20th June

I haven't read every single one of these posts yet, but I just have to say, based on my years of living here and being married to a Japanese man, I refuse to have children in this country.

I have confidence in my own ability to teach and discipline, but when I look around at parents (mothers for the most part) and the way children ARE NOT being raised and supervised, I don't want to be involved with that stratum of society and I don't want to expose my child to the result and influence of today's society.

Yes, I understand that sounds extreme but I sincerely feel there is something very, very wrong going on here... Every one of my family members and friends who have visited Japan have commented on the way kids/parents are here.
inkjet at 08:20 PM JST - 21st June

before i came to japan with our two young kids my wife gave me a book to read about what i might expect. sorry to say i can't remember the name of the book or it's author.

the writer had been in japan since the war. his main occupation over the years seems to have been helping foreign companies prepare their employees for life in japan.

in any case he opened his book with an anecdote from his first trip to japan. a group of japanese were speaking to him while their children were off playing in the background. they were running along a concrete wall with a tremendous drop on the other side. one slip meant instant death. no one seemed to care at all. he was shocked. that first impression was reinforced over and over for the rest of his life in japan.

his conclusion was the japanese people are extremely fatalistic. that deep seated world vision was formed during the samurai era. i won't go into the whole analysis but something has to explain it.