Aging libidos require new techniques

Depending on who you believe, sex is either over by age 45, or it’s just beginning then. Shukan Gendai (Aug 15) takes the latter view. True, the magazine acknowledges, it may not be as effortless as it used to be, but effort, properly directed, enhances pleasure, and besides, your life may depend on it.

A study by Britain’s Bristol University seems to confirm that lives lived in the lap of Eros tend to be not only more satisfying but longer than lives lived in gloomier settings. The study surveyed 918 men in their 40s and 50s over 10 years and found the death rate among the sexually inactive to be twice as high as that among the sexually active.

The difficulty is, of course, that repetition over the years dulls the enchantment. Curiosity fades, the thrill wears off. “You get to the point,” acknowledges medical professor and author Kimihiro Yoneyama, a firm believer in lifelong indulgence, “where you feel you know in advance exactly how it’s going to unfold—‘first this, then that…’” However, he adds, the been-there-done-that feeling is “all in the mind” and can—and most certainly should—be resisted.

The weapon of choice is imagination. “Set the mood,” Yoneyama advises. Mood is everything—and the key element in mood is aroma.

“Aromas associated with pheromones are not present in human body odor,” he says. “A good idea therefore is to infuse the room with aromatic oils.” “Humans are sensitive to specific aromas,” agrees mental health clinic director Teruo Abe. “The right odor stimulates the reproductive functions of the brain, causing sexual excitement.”

He suggests a light sprinkling of “a perfume you both like” on the skin as you emerge from the bath. If you haven’t tried it before, “it makes for a whole new kind of erotic stimulation.”

“The main thing when it comes to sex,” continues Yoneyama, “is the unexpected. The brain responds to the unexpected with increased secretions of dopamine”—a neurotransmitter associated with pleasurable sensation.

Of the various sexual settings and positions that make up Shukan Gendai’s discussion of what constitutes the unexpected, we cite by way of example… the floating position, in the bathtub.

“I recommend bath sex,” says psychiatrist and clinic director Harufusa Higano. “A bubble bath; the water warm, not hot. Wash her all over as she lies afloat on her back, especially”—-obvious erogenous zones aside—“her neck, underarms and behind the knees. The areas where sweat glands are located,” he explains, “are particularly sensitive.”

There is something else about a bathroom which raises it above the bedroom in Higano’s view—its acoustics. “Orgasmic cries resonate wonderfully,” he says. “It’s a whole new feeling, a fine stimulus to the male libido.”

What Shukan Gendai appears to means in describing its offering as “techniques beyond the grasp of the young, accessible only with the passing of time,” is that only the aging libido requires “a whole new feeling” in order to be stimulated. If necessity is the mother of invention, invention is the mother of sex the young can’t imagine, because they don’t yet need to.

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Latest 15 of 32 Total Comments Show All

womanforwomen at 02:55 PM JST - 10th August

Another advantage of multiple females is you have to keep on your toes with who you are meeting and not getting the names etc... mixed-up. :)

Yeah right. And watch out as to who they are with when they are not with you. And just watch out about those ugly diseases!!!
DailyBread at 07:31 PM JST - 10th August

Sex in the bathroom is very dangerous for people over 40 , I know this for a fact and started fitting hand rail everywhere 10 years ago now that I'm climbing the hill to sixty I make sure to put on the blue wellie boots when I go out to get the gas lighter for the candles .
Bento at 10:36 PM JST - 10th August

sex in a Japanese bathroom is not that dangerous..your always within reach of at least 2 walls to brace yourself against.
lunchmeat at 09:44 AM JST - 11th August

“I recommend bath sex,” says psychiatrist and clinic director Harufusa Higano. “A bubble bath; the water warm, not hot. Wash her all over as she lies afloat on her back, especially”—- ...

I'd rather be whale watching.
Farmboy at 04:22 PM JST - 11th August

Anyone who thinks there is no sex after 45 has never visited a senior citizen's center in Florida.
ronaldk at 11:22 AM JST - 12th August

What is a good tantra book Mr. Mael?
Patrick Smash at 01:11 PM JST - 12th August

Mael, all very interesting, but I'll stick to playing away. I gave up on Mrs. Paddy several years ago.
Mittsu at 01:22 PM JST - 12th August

Mael may be right, but don't think that the hippy stuff works for most people. Since introduction of viagra, can always perform. and as for femaile orgasm, I thought that was an urban myth....
alphawolf at 06:43 PM JST - 12th August

Gotta try new thinks, like cosplay and other kinky stuff. Viagra is great but stuffs up your sinus's... maybe a good (legal) substitute is L arginine which produces a good amt of nitric oxide. About 4000 mg 1 hr prior to activity is good.

aw
helloklitty at 07:50 AM JST - 13th August

My former boyfriend, eleven years older...no problem with his sex drive....current boyfriend...one year yonger....it died years ago...

Maybe it died because his gf is getting over the hill?
SwissToni at 04:01 PM JST - 14th August

At over 45 making love to a beautiful woman simply requires a little more thought. Flowers, fine wines, Belgian chocolates, a single red rose on the pillow, these all add to the expectation. Particularly if the current Mrs Swiss is away and you have a new young secretary to impress...
womanforwomen at 04:15 PM JST - 14th August

single red rose is boring, you could try rose petals or fragrant Jasmine.. Swiss toni, shame on you..
alphawolf at 06:00 PM JST - 14th August

why bother trying to impress a woman.. most guys need a gimick anyway, like a tatoo, pony tail, play in the band, part of a bikers club or whatever.. my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her.

aw
helloklitty at 10:46 AM JST - 16th August

my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her.

Excellent post.

I learned that from Gary Sinise in Of Mice and Men. I will pass it on to my sons.

You also get a woman who gets monthly health checkups.
DarkKnightNine at 01:48 AM JST - 17th August

> why bother trying to impress a woman.. most guys need a gimick anyway, like a tatoo, pony tail, play in the band, part of a bikers club or whatever.. my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her. >

alphawolf where do you shop? only ¥5,000? that's what I call getting a lot of bang for your buck.