Children's depression and suicide a worsening problem

Here is an excerpt, presented by Shukan Asahi (Nov 27), from the suicide note left by an 11-year-old boy: “All I can think of is death. I realize that once you die it’s all over; still, if there is a next life I’d like to come back as an animal like [my pet dog], who doesn’t cause anyone any trouble and even when he does weird things, nobody pays any attention. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better than I was. Goodbye.”

Japan’s suicide rate is notoriously high. For the past decade it’s been above 30,000 a year. Overwhelmingly, suicide is an adult phenomenon—but not exclusively, and the clinical depression that generally underlies it, Shukan Asahi finds, is steadily trickling down the age scale. Hokkaido University professor Kenzo Denda, author of a book on children’s depression, has published research showing that one elementary school child in 12 suffers from the condition. Among junior high school students the rate is one in four.

To psychologist Rie Ueki, that sounds like an understatement. The problem is worse, she says, than a standardized survey can show.

Ueki had treated “A-kun,” the 11-year-old suicide, and knew his family. Both his parents were lawyers, the very personifications of success. Dinner-table talk was of “winners” and “losers.” A-kun, listening quietly, knew what was expected of him. Measured against such standards, how could he help doubting himself? He feigned strength and happiness, but often his defenses broke down. Trivial slights would overwhelm him. A friend refusing to share his gum with him could plunge him into a sulk that lasted a day and a half.

The parents at last sought medical help, and Ueki diagnosed clinical depression. To her, A-kun would confess the inner turmoil he tried to keep hidden from his parents. “I’ve been suffering since grade one,” he said. “Why was I born?”

National Police Agency statistics cited by Shukan Asahi show nine children committed suicide in Japan last year. It’s not a shockingly high number, but, says Ueki, “I meet children in hospitals who, even if they haven’t actually killed themselves, seem on the very brink of it—if they kill themselves tomorrow, it wouldn’t surprise me. A-kun was not a special case.”

The obvious question is, what drives such young children to such extremes of despair? There’s no easy answer, Shukan Asahi hears from specialists. Children, unlike adults, can’t articulate their deeper feelings. Sometimes they express themselves through violence, deviant sexual behavior, shoplifting—but these acts don’t “look like” depression, and even doctors don’t always get the message.

Ueki’s hypothesis is that a child’s depression invariably indicates something seriously off kilter in the family. There are various signs—the obsession with “winning” and “losing” in the case of A-kun’s family, for instance. Children aware of parents’ extramarital affairs are also at risk, as are, of course, children of parents suffering from depression and stress themselves.

“What children need above all,” says Ueki, “is their parents’ unconditional love. A child who is loved does not become depressed. But nowadays many parents complain of being unable to love their children, to take pleasure in them. These days, it seems more difficult than ever to give children a normal upbringing.”

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Latest 15 of 39 Total Comments Show All

Spidey at 09:12 AM JST - 23rd November

**Well let's hope that the children will not shift to "homicidal tendencies".
MoBass4u at 10:03 AM JST - 23rd November

Way too sad. As many who posted here said there seems to be a lack of love and basic affection. Yes, children should study but as I tell my wife, my sons' first "job" is to be a child and experience life. I tell him that you are not part of a "hive" and it is ok for you to think outside the box. We have open talks and nothing is off-limits. I tell him that at times you will fail but you get back up and try again. He knows that there is no shame in failing if you tried your best. It took a while to get my wife to show affection (she never saw it at home) and now she really enjoys that hug and kiss from her son. My son knows that other than becoming a thief or a junkie I will support his choice.
Love won't solve everything but it is a great place to start.
nedinjapan at 10:36 AM JST - 23rd November

One big issue is that Japanese children do not know about the world outside Japan. That is a general social problem. They think their world is sad?! Think again kid!
Mexicanish at 04:44 PM JST - 23rd November

I've come to realize that the general population is horrible at raising mentally healthy children, and this isn't just a Japan-specific issue. Unfortunately it's "inhumane" to take away a person's "right" to procreate. Personally, if it were up to me you'd have to take a test and pass exams to have a kid.
MarieInJapan at 11:57 PM JST - 23rd November

I think it once has been a luck to the Japanese country and society that things that appear and establish gradually are just being tolerated. The only way to survive in a country with so hard living conditions and complicated politics in the past. But it has become a bane since times have changed completely and things appear to be tolerated that are completely unnecessary to the survival of the country but to cause its own destruction. Like the number of kids and adults committing suicide. In a society were things are generally being tolerated changes are almost impossible. So if nothing serious is going to happen that puts families back together to what they are really made for- protect your own kind- then everything will just stay as it is and simply become a part of the large number of Japanese traditions.
mnemosyne23 at 01:14 AM JST - 24th November

The death of a child is incomprehensible, even more so when that child takes his or her own life. All the comments I've read have been truly insightful, and I really wish there was a way to get someone in a position of authority to actually READ these discussions. But as has been mentioned by several other posters, this isn't a matter of simply changing a few laws and tweaking the work hours so families spend more time together. This is a problem that is deeply seated in a social and cultural morass that has existed for thousands of years, where pride and respect for the individual has been perennially subsumed and sidelined in favor of group success. I'm not saying that narcicissm is the answer, because I'm not stupid, and I'm not saying that Western thinking is better than Eastern, because God knows Western culture has plenty of its own pitfalls. But I look at all the stresses placed on children in Japan - juku, exams, school activities and clubs -- and it breaks my heart, because NONE of it is done with the child's best interests in mind. It's all about bringing honor and respect to the family, or the school, or the class. It's about bragging rights between neighbors and co-workers, not a celebration of the child's accomplishments. When so much emphasis is placed on, "Be better than everyone else!" there's no room for a child to think, "I want to be the best me that I can be." When anything less than success is considered failure, how can we expect our children to see themselves as anything but a disappointment?

That said, you also have to look at the flipside of the coin: families who don't show any interest in their child whatsoever. These are the parents who never ask how their child did on the algebra test, or where they went after school, or who won the soccer game, and wouldn't give a d@mn if they found out anyway. Unlike the perfection-seeking parents who drive their children down a path of ambition in anticipation of bathing in reflected glory, these apathetic parents cause just as much damage by acting as if nothing their child does matters. Accomplishments aren't lauded, failures aren't discussed, and improvement isn't encouraged or nurtured. If the mantra of the Perfection Parent is, "Be better than everyone else!," the mantra of the Apathetic Parent is, "You'll never be anybody, so who cares?"

In the end, it comes down to communication. Yes, depression is a medical condition, and sometimes the only effective treatment is medication. In some cases the depression is a byproduct of an underlying medical condition, such as a thyroid problem or severe anemia, and in these instances medical intervention is required. But for other sufferers, talk therapy and emotional support might be enough.

This is where a parent's unconditional love for their child is so important. Having a parent they can turn to and depend on for support is vital to a child's mental health. Physical contact -- a hug, a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek at bedtime -- does so much for the parent/child bond, not just on the child's side, but also for the parent. This is why there are so many strong proponents for breastfeeding; the physical contact provides more than just sustenance. The same goes for any parent whose child has come into their room at two in the morning to say, "Mama, I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in here with you tonight?" That physical contact signifies comfort, protection, and safety to the child. While these broad physical displays of affection fall by the wayside as a child matures, it is nonetheless vital to maintain some kind of physical contact: a hug before school; a pat on the back for a job well-done; a high five after a home run. They're short, they're simple, and they're something every child should receive daily.

But most importantly, a child needs to know that they can go to their parent and say, "Mama, papa -- I didn't score well enough on the exam to get into Keio," and not have to worry about how their parents will react.

"Did you do your best?"

"I did, mama. I really did."

"Then you did just fine."
KaptainKichigai at 01:32 AM JST - 24th November

its all just getting worse
relmor at 02:21 AM JST - 24th November

Defunct system. Self-serving. Self-interested. Collapsing.
Icewind007 at 08:32 AM JST - 24th November

^^ Kaptain and relmor, stop with the doomsday crap and give a constructive comment.

It is certainly culture that heavily influences this. As a child of 11, I only knew was suicide was objectively. The thought of it was so alien that such a though could have never occurred to me.

However, I've seen children in Japan firsthand. They have so much more riding on their shoulders and are pushed harder than I've seen in America. Suicide is something I've seen in shows that they are familiar with. As is sex, violence, etc. When they are pushed to grow up this fast, their minds aren't always organized enough to handle it properly.
abromofo at 10:48 AM JST - 24th November

A disease? Come on now, you can't catch it. It's a condition.

Well I know what you mean, but it fits the definition of a disease. Can be called a disorder or condition as well. The point is, clinical depression is a medical problem.

There are usually two triggers, both of which people have mentioned above. The first is a physiological propensity for depression. The second is environmental / outside factors.

So, a person who has clinical depression is usually affected by both.

A person with the propensity for depression, but a very healthy and stable environment may never develop depression. So loving parents could certainly help, but it's not the only answer.
Jizzeez at 03:33 PM JST - 24th November

Definite lack of affection here. Hugs, kisses and hand holding in serious short supply for kids or adults. I remember a group of housewives giving me a collective "yuck" when I asked if they kissed their husbands. I guess the kids don't see much affection between their parents and don't see much love themselves.
dolphingirl at 08:00 PM JST - 24th November

mnemosyne23: You raised a good point about the perfectionistic attitude that many people have here. There doesn't seem to be much room for mistakes. Also, I think that Japanese people have a tendency to be slightly pessimistic. I got this feeling when talking to my Japanese students. These two traits are closely linked.

As abromofo pointed out, depression is the cause of both internal factors (genetics, your personality and the way you think)and external factors (anything that could be considered a stressor) So a child raised to be a perfectionist will likely also become a pessimist who doesn't believe that he can reach his goals because everything seems wrong in his mind. Then illogical thoughts can cloud his thinking, the world gets smaller and finally he sees no way out.

To stop this progression, parents and teachers, have to tell children that mistakes are okay!! The focus should be on challenging kids to try new things, encouraging them to do their best and helping them to learn from their mistakes so they develop confidence in themselves.

The statement that 'many parents complain about being unable to love their children' really bothers and worries me. How can you not love your own child?!
dolphingirl at 08:04 PM JST - 24th November

Icewind007: I was thinking the same thing. At 11, I don't think I even knew what suicide was let alone consider it an option. Parents have to protect their kids from the overwhelming information out there so they can be kids for a longer time.
irishhighlander at 08:45 PM JST - 24th November

I once had a private student who was in a special high school as she didnt go to junior high for 2 years. She seemed like a nice kid, and her mum and her would come to my family home for lessons. Then one weekend, her mum brought back the books and said she wouldnt be able to come back as she was in the hospital. So sad, but the problem is that many Japanese children just dont talk, and its hard to try and get them to talk.
sf2k at 09:30 AM JST - 25th November

Mistakes are how to learn and are keen reminders. Thus preventing bigger mistakes later on. How can you judge a big mistake if you can't take a little one? Waiting until you only make big mistakes means by then we don't have the skills to deal with it. This is what I think is happening. Other people are not so serious, so its not a problem. But many are, and are a problem.

I'm reminded of the line in Batman Begins...."And why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up". Skiers who break their legs, get better, then ski again. We are emotional and physical beings before we understand to be mental beings. Ignoring that important development is irresponsible.