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Elderly husbands more likely to kill ailing wives

9 Comments

Recently the media reported a case of an 83-year-old man arrested for having murdered his 77-year-old wife, who had been suffering from senility. In jail, the man almost stopped eating, and even after being moved to a hospital refused meals. He died not long afterwards. This case, reports Nikkan Gendai (March 17), was one of many similar incidents of a completely new category of homicide, for which Japan's media has coined the term "kaigo satsujin" (murders by care providers).

According to a survey undertaken by associate professor Etsuko Yuhara of Nihon Fukushi University, in 70% of such homicide cases, the husband is the perpetrator. While it would appear on the surface that the tribulations of caring for an enfeebled spouse might fall equally heavily on both sexes, it's become clear that in Japan, this is not the case.

"The group that's been most responsible for incidents has been males in the age segment just before the postwar baby boomers, those over age 70," says Yoshimitsu Uehara, director of a Yamanashi-based NGO called the Caregiver Support Association.

"The males of this generation worked hard for the nation to help bring about Japan's recovery after the war," Uehara continues. "It was a generation where it was regarded as a virtue for workers, whether in sales or manufacturing, to devote themselves to their jobs wholeheartedly.

"But the same mindset also permeates their thinking regarding caring for their wives, although -- particularly in the case of senility -- the perfection they are used to striving for is not obtainable. Still, they refrain from complaining and soldier on, but at some point they blow up, and then a tragedy results."

When it comes to providing care for an elderly spouse, Uehara uses the analogy of husbands being a "string," whereas wives are a "rubber band." The latter can be stretched, but is capable of rebounding. The string on the other hand can snap with the application of a fairly small amount of tension.

Husbands tend to be reluctant to seek out a sympathetic ear for their difficulties, up until the point when they finally snap.

Take this couple: Wife Nobuyo, age 83, had been officially diagnosed with a cognitive disorder. Her actor husband Keisuke Sunakawa, age 79, had been forced to deal with her repeated episodes of wandering away from home or incontinence, and began to see killing her, to be followed by his own suicide (an act referred to as "michizure" in Japanese), as the only way out.

"Just as males organize their thinking into steps, just as they would deal with operations on a manufacturing line, they try to put together a detailed schedule for dispensing care," Uehara points out. "Even when a helper from outside is assigned to wash the dishes or clean up the room, they become irritated because the helper's method is different from their own. After she leaves, they will return things to their previous order. They're also of the mind that any sign of weakness is to be avoided. With no one for them to pour out their woes, they get uptight."

The more obvious telltale signs that a care providing spouse might be on the verge of losing it include insomnia, noticeable bad odor at a residence, visible bruises on the wives and constantly showing up late to part-time jobs.

"These are like an SOS warning analogous to a reeling boxer's second, who throws a towel in the ring to make the referee put a stop to the match," relates Uehara. "Only in this case it means that to avert tragedy, it's time to bring home care to an end settle the ailing wife into a nursing facility.

"Of nearly 1,500 people to whom I've had the experience of providing counseling, nearly all the men followed that advice," Uehara says.

© Japan Today

©2024 GPlusMedia Inc.

9 Comments
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This is one of the saddest parts of having an aging society, balancing the needs of caring for the elderly and sick vs the needs of having to deal with a diminishing population and the current problems of insufficient child-care.

Japan SHOULD be able to deal with both. Instead of spending money on hosting international sports events, and stupid meaningless public projects, funding should be focused on the PEOPLE and not "things" until both are stable.

7 ( +8 / -1 )

Wow, its become so rampant that they've coined a new term -kaigo satsujin. 70% of these cases, the husband is the perpetrator. Yikes, those numbers aren't no joke.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Sensationalist news. It wouldn't be a lie to say that in the case of one spouse killing the other for insurance it's almost all women, either.

Agree with Yubaru, it is a sad state of affairs. There is no help for these people.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

old lives matter

0 ( +1 / -1 )

ANY life matters !

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Very sad, but I suspect that as their own frailties increase and they are less and less able to look after their wives, they see this as the only solution and, indeed, as a form of kindness, preventing long-term suffering. They need to be helped.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

If a society can't do better than this, then they should at the very least offer assisted-suicide. Death with mercy.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Or these old geezers ( and in some cases the wife taking care of a husband) should swallow "false" pride and get help. It is out there.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Elderly husbands more likely to GET CAUGHT after killing their wives. The wives are a bit smarter.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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