Poll asks men what behavior by women turns them off

TOKYO —

Women! Why can’t they learn to behave themselves?

If it sounds like a complaint from another age, it is – but it’s from our age too, Shukan Josei (Feb 12) finds. The magazine polls 500 men aged 30 to 89, asking them, “What is it about women that turns you off?” The answers come thick and fast.

A sampling: they don’t act their age; they’re subject to violent mood swings; they’re bad drivers; they’re easy dupes of nonsense like fortune-telling and spiritualism; their train manners are atrocious.

Failure to act their age is the top complaint. Men accept aging with such grace (as we all know!) – why can’t women? “A woman past a certain age in a miniskirt really gets on my nerves,” grumbles a 48-year-old male teacher.

“It’s laughable,” concurs a 55-year-old interior designer, “the way aging women cling to their past glory – if any – by decking themselves out in the hopelessly passé fashions of their youth.”

The harassed corporate slave, home after a hard day, yearning for a bit of comfort and relaxation and finding instead his wife in a bad mood is a scenario as old as comedy, which is very old indeed. “What’s she angry about? I have no idea,” laments a 44-year-old in the publishing business. “How tired it all makes me feel!”

Male drivers, especially professionals who spend their working lives behind the wheel, seem to dread another stock cliche – the woman driver. “They don’t know what it means to yield,” sighs a 58-year-old trucker.

Go to a family restaurant on a weekday lunch break and watch a “Cold War” break out between two characteristic groups of diners – salarymen and housewives. “Whenever we go out for lunch,” says a 43-year-old in finance, “there’s bound to be a party of housewives at the next table. They’re in public, and yet they seem to think they’re at home.” A 55-year-old in the transport business agrees: “I don’t like to start a fuss by telling them off, so I just put up with their racket.”

Trains – nobody suggests in so many words making them off-limits to women, but some men clearly wish that would happen. The way they make a beeline for empty seats as though they enjoyed a special entitlement is one grievance; the way they glare at you as though every man were a potential molester is another. “I want to shout at them, ‘I’m innocent!’” says a 59-year-old security guard, “but I’m a coward. I make a point of clutching the overhead straps with both hands.”

No. 10 on Shukan Josei’s list of top 10 alleged female failings is a strange one: “They don’t seem to care how others see them.”

They go out with no makeup, they wear shapeless T-shirts, they get fat – “and when you point it out to them,” huffs a 35-year-old in finance, “they say, ‘What difference does it make at my age?’ I can’t help thinking to myself, ‘Is this what happens to all those cute girls out there?’ It’s depressing.”

Why is it strange? Because, as the alert reader will have noticed, it’s the exact reversal of complaint No. 1.

  • 15

    Tamarama

    This Kuchikomi stuff is real quality.

  • 8

    ChibaChick

    Women never yield? From a trucker??! That's funny!

  • 6

    Mocheake

    Pointless exercise because after all is said and done, I really LOVE women. Even when I'm hating on them!

  • 1

    Jimizo

    Failure to act their age? My partner was a secondary school teacher in the UK and told me about teenage girls dishing out half-baked life advice like sagacious grandmas whereas in Japan many are still trying the helium-voiced, kitty chan charm at 30 in her classes. Are complaints about leaving the toilet seat up more universal?

  • 24

    tkoind2

    Ok. A foreign perspective.

    1. I agree the elder woman in the micro-mini is just sad.

    2. I do wish women in Japan would give up Kawaii. Come on cute is for bunnies and pre-teens. Not for adults. Get over it already and grow up.

    3. Deer in headlights- This wide opened eyes, teetering on their heels and squeaky voice thing is enough to put you off women entirely here. Come on ladies have some self respect.

    4. Pissed off women. I have to agree I see a lot of this. Even if you just glance up at a woman who is standing next to you, she looks pissed off. Lady I really don't have any interest in you! I would glance up at anyone standing there. So take a pill for that over confidence, no one is trying to touch you, no one wants to take you home, no one is really thinking about you. You changed the light when you stepped into that space and I wanted to notice who or what is near me. That simple!

    5. Salarymen. Beeline for the seat?!? Really you want to play that card? You guys are so much worst!

    6. Both of you. The mood on trains here is about equal to the average funeral. Lighten up people. Between the dour faced salarymen who look like they will open vein any second and the pissed off older working women and painfully overconfident garu on the train I can barely keep from shouting most days. Where are the smiles, a little laughter, a warm good day from someone. You people are way too serious and way too uptight. Both sexes in Tokyo need to lighten up a bit!!! Come on is life really that awful? I can show you some photos from places where they would kill for your clothes, your food and your trains. So smile people! Smile!

  • 8

    vctokyo

    my worse experience has always been with single 40s OLs - hell hath no fury like a single 40s OL scorned

  • 6

    zenkan

    My main complaint against women (and men, in this article) is that they subscribe to gender-specific opinions and discrimination as fuelled by this "survey". Let's discuss the battle of the sexes - it'll keep the populace busy while the country goes to the dogs!

  • 15

    choiwaruoyaji

    I think there is nothing better than a more mature woman dressing up sexily, especially a Japanese woman...

    miniskirt, low-cut top, stockings... I love to see mature Japanese woman wearing them...

    How any man could criticize that is beyond me...

  • 8

    ChibaChick

    Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots? Just asking. Not getting remotely paranoid.....

  • 17

    choiwaruoyaji

    Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots?

    I think 50 is OK... why not? If you've got it, flaunt it...

  • 16

    lucabrasi

    @ChibaChick

    Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots?

    Well, the wife tells me it's "really, really creepy," but I don't let that stop me....

  • 2

    Disillusioned

    One that is missing that really gets under my goat is, accusations of seeing someone else and checking mobile phone emails..

    However, if you are victim to any or all of the above it is quite likely you would be seeking solace in the arms of another.

    Here is a classic YouTube clip that sums up many Japanese women very well: <>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGdWhnTYukM

  • 2

    gokai_wo_maneku

    What bothers me with women is that even though I make it clear thta I'm totally gay, some women do not understand that is a reason they should not pursue me. I'm not saying I'm hansome or anything...

  • 4

    avigator

    One of these days I am thinking about opening a clinic for de-cuting services and speech theraphy in Japan. Or, get back to reality lessons.

  • 2

    jessebaybay

    haha, well this certainly was a 'saturday' article.

  • -2

    bass4funk

    Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots?

    I think 50 is OK... why not? If you've got it, flaunt it...

    Problem is, many over 40/50 ain't got it to wear it, sadly to say.

  • 3

    TheInterstat

    @ChibaChick; that is MORE than OK. @choiwaruoyaji; damn right. I love all that too!

  • 1

    PeaceWarrior

    lucabrasi, thanks for the laugh. I can just imagine with the beard and all ;~)

  • 6

    SwissToni

    ChibaChick, "Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots?".

    Depends upon the pins. If chunky, then no, if shapely, then you'll be very popular. Thems the rules.

  • 3

    oberst

    40+ single OL...................target rich environment. Good thing the J ladies usually look younger than their actual age as most Asian ladies are. I can handle mico mini on an " older " babe as long as she still has the assets but watching them unrobe in kimono is pure nirvana......................... In short, there aren't that much I dislike in J ladies.

  • 3

    Kabukilover

    My pet peeves. Women bicycle riders. Ear phones, keitai in hand and blank look when they sideswipe you. (Men are just as bad.) Women drivers, ditto. ( Except the truck drivers are worse.) Women on trains doing face alterations. (My favorite: girl next to me heating eyelash curlers with a cigarette lighter). Women talking on keitais and smoking, waving the hand with the cigarette. (I still have the scar on my hand.) But after all is said and done, a woman is sure nice to come home to.

  • 4

    dracpoo2

    **

    “They don’t seem to care how others see them.”

    They go out with no makeup, they wear shapeless T-shirts, they get fat – “and when you point it out to them,” huffs a 35-year-old in finance, “they say, ‘What difference does it make at my age?’ I can’t help thinking to myself, ‘Is this what happens to all those cute gir

    ls out there?’ It’s depressing.”**

    Of course in this case getting fat may be weighing 120 pounds. WHy can't a woman wear no make up is she chooses to? Shapeless T'shirts.....almost all fashion here is shapeless and super conservative.

    I don't agree with this one.

  • 0

    Kimokekahuna Hawaii

    I love Japanese girls and women. In Japan I have noticed that they are trendy shoppers.. putting off getting married or having children later in life so they can buy stuff for themselves and travel. They are extremely brand conscious and are pack animals. Even when older.. women act like they are in high school.. and are jealous and or bully other women. Some women dress like their daughters, do not know how to walk in high heels.. do not cook for their salaryman husband instead go lunching with girls.. spend big money to get "speed racer" eyes. Anti aging now #1 with personal "maintenance" becoming more important than love. They want love but are not very romantic and are quite calculating depending upon how much money you have or what you can make. I give up my seat to women or even old men on the train because I respect them. Yes people should smile more to strangers, (and also dance more) but when I do or say something women think I am crazy so now I just mind my own path when in Tokyo.

    I basically have never had any problem with older Japanese women having lunch or tea.. just imagine if you were in China... they are so loud, have sharp elbows to cut in line, talk in elevators and have no respect for personal space and are not polite. At least the Japanese language is pleasant to the ear and people are basically kind and polite.

    I can offer these observation from Hawaii where the most important tourist is the Japanase girl/women.

    1) They travel in pairs or packs and all have the same hair cut and wear same style of long dress and their friends? Wish they would wear island pareo/sarong/sandals and flowers in hair instead of bringing frumpy Japanese fashion to Hawaii. Maui is a little different with more couples going there for honeymoon and to make babies. 2) They will sit for an hour to get pay $18 for pancakes. MAny come Hawaii and just want to eat udon and sushi. 3) They are afraid of the water, wear funny swim outfits that belong in children, but the girls who surf are in great shape and they are very sexy and trendy in their hot little Roxy outfits. Girls are quite friendly/trusting in the water. 4) They always make peace sign and a funny noise when taking pictures. But they are so sweet and happy and cute I assume they dont get to express themselves openly or get to be in warm weather and water in Japan
    5) Girls answer the phone the same way and use the same high Kawaii pitch tone "ja ne byebye" 6) They love the hula.. but are taking Hawaiian culture back to Japan to make business with men with tattoos. 7) They lay in the sun but then put a towel over their face... afraid of sun damage and aging. 8) They shop til they drop and have man slave carry shopping bags and even shop with them for underwear
    9) Many girls want to stay Hawaii, almost all single girls want to get married or have a kid here and never leave. 10)While not very friendly, no acknowledgement when passing on the street. Waikiki is easy going place, now more and more cold. People used to at least smile when passing or say aloha but now too many hustlers. I assume living in Tokyo it can be dangerous to make contact as crazy men are the ones who smile and want to talk with you. But when one does make a connection Japanese girls and women are very warm.. very friendly and beautiful girls... My hope is that they will go back to Japan and share the philosophy of Aloha.. family, sharing, happiness, beauty, music, dancing, smiling, kindness to strangers, genuine friendship and find those things Hawaii and Japan share as island cultures of nature and peace.

  • 3

    humanrights

    I dont think Men have anything to complain against Women in JP, considering their (Mens) looks and standards. As far as a her woman in her 40s wearing a Mini, so What? Who pt a used by date on how good you feel about yourself? Oh I forget, yes JP, they put expiry dates on people, that sick really. Unless you are young and Kawaii, you are to be restricted in your behavior. Old mentality.

  • 1

    Yubaru

    Is it ok to be 40 and wearing a mini skirt with thick tights and heeled boots? Just asking. Not getting remotely paranoid...

    What's worse in my opinion is seeing one who is in their 20's with the same affliction.

  • 3

    highball7

    I just can't freaking stand all the wives huddling at a corner quack quack quack quack about God knows what. And when someone walks by, they stop and stare and then resumes their quacking. Its just so annoying.

    Wait...

    All women are like that in Japan when they're in a group. You really don't see this anywhere else. Its like a mini-gang mentality. But about gossips and salacious matters. Its also so irritating when you see them laugh in unison while covering their mouth with just 4 fingers. What is up with that?

    Don't get me started when they're in the department stores during discount periods. What the hell is going on?

  • 0

    Serrano

    "I make a point of clutching the overhead straps with both hands"

    Yeah, that way you can lean heavily on them and take some of the weight off your feet during your 90 minute train ride, lol.

  • 1

    Elbuda Mexicano

    Farts, burps and picking their NOSE, yes some J women do this in public, so what can I say??

  • 0

    Serrano

    @Disillusioned@Feb 9, 12:55pm

    Thanks for that very relevant and entertaining youtube link, ha ha, lol

  • 1

    Mike Critchley

    Can't say I'd ever complain about a mini skirt...and I assume these guys are talking about "old" women of like...35. Insanity. And truck drivers complaining about other drivers? 20 years of highway driving here and I don't think I've ever seen an accident that DOESN'T involve a truck. They're the most dangerous drivers on the road.

  • 0

    Knox Harrington

    Japanese women are great. To look at. They take good care of themselves and some dress quite to my liking. A train ride here is like a feast for the eyes, so many pretty ladies to look at. I don't really find women here that annoying (perhaps with the exception of many housewives eating lunch together) and they are definitely more interesting and interested than their male counterparts.

  • 1

    Knox Harrington

    Kimokekahuna Hawaii,

    A great post and pretty much on the money there. I to remeber Hawaii and Kalakaua Ave. with J-ladies, 4 bags in each hand, seemingly only interested in buying as much stuff as possible. It was a very true image.

    I think, with exceptions of course, women here are way to materialistic and have confused shopping with happiness. That also goes for the lads - the love that stuff.

    What is also true is the stuff about love. Many japanese watch Korean dramas and dream away to what they think romance is. Sad state if that is the role model for love.

  • 1

    cramp

    BIGGEST peeve of mine is nonchalance, more like ignorance...

    is it just me or women(and some men) there know jack about world affairs or even stuff in their country? I have honestly never met such gleeful airheads in my life...and the worse part is, they don't want to know/learn either

    truth has no weight in their psyche

  • 2

    ensnaturae2

    Tedious genderism. 'Men do this, women do that'...NO, NO, NO thank you. Consider each person with empathy and respect, You might discover a new friend.

  • 7

    JaneM

    I cannot understand it when a bear-belly guy complains about the sexy looks of 40-something year-old women. One of my Japanese coworkers is about 50and she looks great in just-above-the-knee skirts. Yet, some overweight 50-something guys cannot get over this and sometimes ridicule her. Go figure.

    There is a lot of should and shouldn't do's when it comes to age, but I guess that we should appreciate people maintaining their young looks and positive attitude. It goes both for men and women. Who wants to be around grumpy middle-aged or senior people with a negative attitude towards anything that comes their way?

  • 1

    PeaceWarrior

    Ladies, I say wear whatever pleases you and do not let old farts get in the way of your individuality. These same old farts keep trying to tell you what to do with your bodies in other parts of the world. Skrw them!

  • 2

    wtfjapan

    any woman any age can wear sexy clothing as long as they have a figure to suit it, just when you see some oversized hippo that must have used half dozen shoe horns to squeeeeeze into that mini skirt, now thats a real turn off!!

  • 1

    DudeDeuce

    I don't really care what anybody wears just like I hope nobody cares when I go out in whatever I want to wear.

    Mood swings/PMS should be #1 on any man's list. A woman's mood can ruin your day, week or heck, even lifetime.

  • -2

    Tessa

    I find Osakan women, of all ages, to be very annoying at times, and my visitors from Kanto (Tokyo and thereabouts) have the same opinion. These women tend to hang out in groups, and they are very noisy. They talk loudly on the train about very personal topics. Their seat-grabbing behaviour is so amazing, it could be an Olympic event. And heaven help you if you find yourself next to a group of them in a restaurant, you'll not get a moment's peace.

  • 8

    Manuel D. Valencia III

    For me, it's a few things. No. 1 answer - Women who smoke.

    1. Women who cling to material things as security.
    2. Naming or treating their cars as pets.
    3. Choosing to care for pets over their loved ones.
    4. Expecting men to make the money while the women sits at home or with friends.
    5. Women acting like teens.
    6. Women using department shopping bags (especially from high-end stores) like regular handbags.
  • 0

    whosthetyrant

    With every complaining finger pointing at women there are three pointing back at you! How are YOU doing and how are YOUR manners, dress, concern and hygiene? Be thankful women are not like men or it would be a boring place. Men, start acting like men, be respectful and kind to the girls and women, and you will find they will be that way with YOU

  • 1

    Thunderbird2

    They go out with no makeup, they wear shapeless T-shirts, they get fat – “and when you point it out to them,” huffs a 35-year-old in finance, “they say, ‘What difference does it make at my age?’ I can’t help thinking to myself, ‘Is this what happens to all those cute girls out there?’ It’s depressing.”

    Wow... sexist much?

    What behaviour turns me off? Looking at a watch on a date mainly... anything else I can live with.

  • 0

    Fadamor

    Men accept aging with such grace (as we all know!) – why can’t women?

    This was tongue in cheek, right? :-) If not, I have a three-word rebuttal: "hair-replacement therapy".

    “They don’t know what it means to yield,” sighs a 58-year-old trucker.

    ...and based on the comments here on JT, neither do the truck drivers.

    “Whenever we go out for lunch,” says a 43-year-old in finance, “there’s bound to be a party of housewives at the next table. They’re in public, and yet they seem to think they’re at home.” A 55-year-old in the transport business agrees: “I don’t like to start a fuss by telling them off, so I just put up with their racket.”

  • 2

    Fadamor

    (Continued because I'm senile and can't tell the difference between a Quote button and a Submit button)

    “Whenever we go out for lunch,” says a 43-year-old in finance, “there’s bound to be a party of housewives at the next table. They’re in public, and yet they seem to think they’re at home.” A 55-year-old in the transport business agrees: “I don’t like to start a fuss by telling them off, so I just put up with their racket.”

    It's a public place. If you want to eat in peace, then eat at home. And don't try to pretend there are never groups of GUYS making a racket at the famires.

    Why is it strange? Because, as the alert reader will have noticed, it’s the exact reversal of complaint No. 1.

    Nice ending statement. In my case, there's only two actions by women that are a definite turn off: 1.) What I call the "Mind Reader Ploy" - something's bothering them and when you ask, you get an angry "You know why!" in response. No. I don't know why otherwise I wouldn't have asked. 2.) What I call the "Gotcha Ploy" - the girl dresses to attract attention with plunging neckline, push-up bra, and mini-skirt. When she sees you looking, however, you're a "disgusting perverted pig". Newsflash lady... if you don't want to be looked at by men, then stop dressing to attract their attention.

  • 1

    gelendestrasse

    @fadamor - totally agree.

  • 2

    T-Mack

    Women who drink till there wasted and then the date turn's into baby sitting, instead of enjoying each other's company. Real big turn off...!

  • 1

    AKBfan

    Kuchikomi does unearth some gems. Who do they interview for their articles? I think older women dressing well (sexily??) is great if they can carry it off. Truckers carping about road manners is just too ironic. Train manners are anyway stupid and the fact that women want to sit down is perfectly ok. In Western culture (at least old style) it used to be good manners to give your seat up to a woman. Yes, sometimes women can be a little bit scowly if you give them the eye, but that's not a bad thing. Sometimes they can be quite the opposite. THe last one is the opposite of the first, so goes to show takes ll opinions to make a world. The squeaky, kawaii think can get a bit much but it can also be appealing as hell in small doses (one night say).

  • 0

    AKBfan

    Cramp You ever been to small town America? Same ignorance applies.

  • 2

    gaijintraveller

    Whether women wear miniskirts should be determined by the quality rather than the age of their legs. I have seen plenty of teenagers in miniskirts who would look a lot better if their legs were covered up.

  • 2

    Ishiwara

    Drunk women. More than anything. (I drink myself, so yes, I am very unfair about this).

  • -1

    T-Mack

    Women who use to much perfume, I mean like they take a bath in it!...woe !

  • -2

    Kyoko Sakata

    Someone mentioned about women staying home and men going to work and make the money. That's a making of both genders in Japanes society. They want to complain about that, that's their problem. No one said they had to live that way. No one put a gun to their heads saying those roles must be taken on.

    Notice the majority of the complaints against the women were superficial and about appearance. Character problems on the other hand men do as well. Women are bad drivers? Praytell why it is men who have to pay higher insurance premiums? Boom!

  • 2

    Anthony Head

    I think the worse are older Japanese women who believe they have a right to be rude because they are old. Sorry if you want respect then give respect (it's not just limited to older women but men as well). The way older men and women race for the empty seat on a train is simply sad. Also the whole kawaii thing is so over done. I just done get the kawaii thing for adults (children & teens ok). However, there are also many wonderful things about Japanese women, especially the way they look after themselves (compared to western women). There is a sense of pride which i like.

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