9 phrases that make Japanese men fall head over heels

TOKYO —

For girls looking to nab a Japanese fellow, website Yahoo! has recently investigated what sweet nothings make “Nihonjin” weak in the knees, and have come up with nine lines that supposedly do the job.

Get out your notebooks, ladies (and gaydies), and let’s go hunting.

1. When a guy does something, react with a heartfelt “That was incredible!”

According to one 20-something guy, this works because although a guy is wondering if what he did was really all that impressive, it makes him feel pleased and energized to be praised all the same. Before long, he’ll realize that no one has ever made him feel so confident and strong and confess his love for you.

2. When you begin dating, ask whether your texts are annoying.

According to a guy in his 30s, this shows a girl isn’t just thinking about herself. That kind of solicitude hits guys right in the heart. “With a girl like that, you know you could live together without a lot of drama and conflict,” he says, and that’s appealing to a lot of guys.

3. When you are having fun talking together, say “We are really on the same wavelength, aren’t we?”

According to one teen surveyed, “It makes me wonder if maybe we are destined to be together.” It feels somehow inevitable when you meet someone that you share so much with. If a guy likes you, communicating in a straightforward way that you want to keep spending time with him will give him the confidence to keep asking you out.

4. Even if you aren’t dating, tell him you want to have his babies.

If, at a glance, a girl can’t help hearing wedding bells, says one 20-something, guys who want to start a family will find their pulses racing as well. If you can’t imagine yourself saying something so forward, even a simple “I really want kids soon” will do. Just by showing you like kids, you’ll have the guy thinking in a family way.

5. When you hear where a guy is from, try “I guess what they say is true. People from X are nice!”

You can’t help but smile when you hear something positive like that and realize a girl is into you, says a guy in his 20s. And if you follow with “I’d really like to visit there someday,” you give him an opening to offer to show you around.

6. Say thank you with a big smile

Says one 20-something, “A bright, happy face makes my heart skip a beat.” In addition, a positive woman with good manners is seen as a real catch. “For example, at the end of a work day, if a woman wishes you a good night with a smile, you know she really wants to make your day a little better and you can’t help but like her for it.

7. When he makes a small mistake, say it’s cute.

You’d rather forget about your mistakes, explains one guy, so you feel really grateful if a girl doesn’t make a big deal out of them. You feel like she knows and accepts even your weak points, and that realization can make a guy fall big time.

8. When you are leaving a dinner party or other social event, tell him “Finally, alone together!”
One young man said the phrase instantly closes the distance between two people and makes them feel like a couple. Similarly, if a woman asks to sit next to him at the event or finds other ways to be close to him, he thinks it’s cute and he’ll want to put his arm around her without even thinking about it.

9. If he is absent due to a cold or sickness, tell him that it’s boring without him.

“It makes me think that I really matter to her,” explains one teen. It seems that a lot of guys like to feel needed. Add “Next time, let me know if you are going to be absent, OK?” and you’ll have him convinced you can’t live without him.

So, those are the nine fool-proof lines to work your way into a Japanese guy’s heart, at least according to Yahoo!. This author wonders if they might be a bit outdated, at best, but then, I’m not a Japanese guy. What do you think, readers?

Source: Yahoo! Netallica

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  • 30

    kimuzukashiiiii

    So basically - to make a Japanese man fall head over heels, do exactly what a western guy would run a mile at - neediness, acting like a child, and craving too much commitment too soon.

  • 14

    HonestDictator

    Someone taking advice from a teen about what men want to hear, I chalk it off as paltry diddle-doo. xD

  • 9

    southsakai

    Any guy who follows this must be a fool. This is foolish. Why act with fake talk. Why can't people be just themselves ?

    For example:

    1. When you are having fun talking together, say -We are really on the same wavelength, aren’t we?

    Is she really on the same wave length ? not!

  • 4

    T-Mack

    "This is just Mental"!!! This is # 10 Always feed him a little treat when he does something that's really funny...

  • 7

    paulinusa

    It is lightweight stuff, isn't it? This would be really scary if lines like these were effective on most guys.

  • 7

    marcelito

    " Even if you aren't,t dating tell him you want to have his babies".... geez....who came up with this one? That would make the girl sound real desperate and send most normal guys running in the other direction real quick.

  • 2

    Nessie

    When you begin dating, ask whether your texts are annoying

    Don't be disappointed at the answer.

    Even if you aren’t dating, tell him you want to have his babies.

    Reminds me of that scene from the sci-fi movie Species where Natasha Henstridge is all "let's get it on for some alien/human hybrid babbies" and the guy is all "wha?"

  • 5

    Novenachama

    Simply stated a man falls in love with you because he knows he can be himself around you and feels safe expressing his innermost private feelings with you. He knows that you can handle your feelings and senses that and because he senses that he starts to long for your company, touch, affection and knows there's something special about you. Hence that has been my experience.

  • 0

    americangio

    Mhh.. I' m not so confident about the rule n.4... I always thought it was the opposite..

  • 3

    jessebaybay

    "gaydies" ... now thats a new one.

  • 7

    Ayler

    "I like Gundam too" "I can make curry rice just like your mother used to"

  • 1

    paulinusa

    "... tell him you want to have his babies."

    Since you have to back that up, does this mean birth control can't be used? The consequences might be regretted.

  • -1

    technosphere

    gaydies" ... now thats a new one.

    An American source. Nothing strange.

  • 5

    cleo

    Like HonestDictator says, they're asking teens about what turns them on. Bears no relation at all to what men want to hear.

    I'm getting more than a little bored at these constant 'Here's another chance to paint the whole of Japan with a single brushstroke, and be insulting with it' threads.

  • 2

    ChibaChick

    4 - no way! A better response would be - when the opportunity arises - to say something like "Wow! You are so good with children! You are going to make an amazing father one day!" IF you think that is true!

    Other than that - be yourself. Dont go out to "nab" anyone - just see who you meet and what happens. Most of the lines above - unless they are genuinely from the heart - sound like what they are - a calculated attempt to ensnare someone. NOT attractive! And any man with half a brain will see straight through it. And one without half a brain you dont want to be chasing anyway....

  • 3

    lwsydney

    This would actually kinda scare the heck out of me, but..

  • 1

    ChibaChick

    Novenachama you nailed it.

  • 4

    gaijinfo

    I remember once I was dating this girl. While I was waiting for her to get ready, I read an article in Cosmo about some kind of powerful sexual secrets to "snag any man" or something like that.

    A couple days later, I noticed, that during, ahem, she was trying one out.

    I didn't have the heart to tell her it was having ZERO effect. (it was one of those "touch him HERE and watch him go MAD" kind of things.

    Keep in mind that people who write articles like this are ALWAYS on some kind of deadline, and they're always DESPERATE for ANY CONTENT so long as it sounds halfway plausible. I certainly hope that nobody takes this as the best advice there is.

  • 2

    Graham DeShazo

    Did you all skip the sex-tinged jokes, or did they just all get pulled? I mean, come on! The 9 things a woman can say to make a guy want them and not ONE sex-themed one? Hell, I can think of 5 right now and it's early.

  • 14

    warispeace

    Nine phase that "sweet" gf will use when she is your wife. 1) That was incredibly stupid. 2) Who keeps texting you late at night? 3) The only thing you seem in tune with is that bloody baseball game? 4) These are your kids, too, you know! 5) What planet do you come from? 6) Say "thank you" with a big smug smile after you've ordered him to do another chore. 7) What!! Not again? 8) Don't you have something better to do than hang around the house? 9) Haven't you heard the phrase, "a good husband and out working."

  • 1

    AiserX

    When you take a walk within the inner cities anywhere in the world, take a glance at any dating couple through any restaurant window. You will be surprised at how many are texting under the table it just provides you with plenty of Lulz.

    I would be surprised if such couples are texting one another from 2ft away!!

  • 0

    ReformedBasher

    @Cleo

    It's okay to bash Japan because young people from all other countries are so mature, particularly Western countries (smirk).

  • 1

    Impersonator

    10: I will hold you entitled to 100% of your hard earned money, so just give me what is enough for paying the bills.

  • 1

    wtfjapan

    @reformedbasher your comparing maturity of young Japanese to young Westerners!? biggest difference is western kids want to be adults as fast as possible, Japanese kids have no pressure at all to grow up. why do you think J pop culture is run by group like AKB48, young women acting like there 10years old, then you have the addiction to cuteness that is rampant in this country.

  • 3

    nandakandamanda

    If you want to knock a J man over, ask him how he likes his Miso-shiru in the mornings. That will set his heart strings aflutter.

  • 0

    mtwildman

    How about 'i shave and go commando' as a turn on comment.

  • 15

    Brian Berry

    What a horrible, frightening, and anecdotal list...

    But hey, it got me thinking, maybe it is all correct. Therefore, men need a list as well for women! So I reversed the list, and here is a preview of the upcoming article on how to get Japanese women to fall for you!

    1. When a woman does anything, lie and fake that you are impressed. This is a great way to start any relationship.

    2. When you begin dating, passive-aggressively ask if she finds messages and texts from you annoying. She will likely give a polite "no," and that is your approval to spam the hell out of her in order to appear as extremely needy as early as possible.

    3. Keep stating about how you have absolutely everything in common, even if you don't. Attempt to brain wash her into believing you are the same and have a special connection that cannot possibly exist.

    4. Tell her that you'd love to get her pregnant as soon as possible, even if you just met her. Chicks dig that shit.

    5. Believe everything she says, and let her know that you never disagree with her. She needs to know you are submissive, gullible, and easy to take advantage of.

    6. Thank her for everything, literally everything, with a smile. This solidifies your totally submissive and subservient role. She is your queen, you are just a lowly "man-peasant thing."

    7. When she makes any mistakes, praise her, compliment her breasts, and behave as if her mistake is the most wonderful thing that you have ever seen. She can do no wrong. She is simply too beautiful and perfect to make any mistakes that might require self-reflection and discussion.

    8. Secretly keep her away from social events, isolate her, and make her understand that you want her all to yourself. Successful cults everywhere use this method for a reason.

    9. When she is sick or busy, hassle her with messages telling her how your life is awful without her being right next to you at all times. Because women need more pressure and guilt when they are feeling sick or stressed.

  • 1

    WA4TKG

    Brian Berry; I LOVE your list. You NEED to be WRITING for this web-site. I especially LOVE item # 4!

  • 1

    humanrights

    in other words, just lie and act like his mother and its all sweet.

  • 0

    oberst

    *8 is the lady like way to tell the dude it's ok to proceed " aggressively ". Personally I would fall for that.

  • -2

    Brian Berry

    Thank you WA4TKG, I've done some writing in the past in other places, so I appreciate the compliment. I made that list primarily for satirical purposes but also to make a point.

    I've been in Japan a while now, and certain things like this list make me rather concerned at times at the direction of gender equality in Japan (see the recent UN report, and the Japan Times recent poll on a woman's place being at home). You see these sorts of gender stereotypes through major media sources in Japan, and some just seem to be blindly accepted. Sadly, I rarely see many challenge these stereotypes in Japan.

    Even as a man, I can see this list being extremely offensive and degrading to women. Honestly though, it is good that such a shallow list was printed, as it provides an opportunity for people to challenge it, which I truly hope that they do.

  • 0

    Mocheake

    Only a sucker would fall for those weak lines. I'll take a totally honest woman EVERY TIME.

  • 6

    Jessica Marie Sato

    Here, let me redo that list for you.

    9 Phrases that will drive your Japanese man head over heels -

    1. I heated up the bath for you.
    2. Dinner is ready.
    3. Would you like another beer/drink?
    4. Would you like ME to get you another beer/drink?
    5. Stay out as long as you want with your friends.
    6. I would love to run to the shop for you and get you something else to drink/eat.
    7. I'll do the dishes. You sit and relax.
    8. I washed, dried and folded your clothes.
    9. I made you a bento.

    BONUS 10. THANK YOU.

    THERE, that should do it.

  • 2

    Jessica Marie Sato

    I'm sorry Jessica (author of this article). I have to disagree with every one of your point (except saying Thank you). Most of what you wrote is for kids fed on a diet of Hollywood's superficial picture perfect view of a romance. The world of real Japanese MEN doesn't work the same way like what you wrote in the article.

    All I can say is, I'm sorry but, it was a terrible article.

  • 0

    Jessica Marie Sato

    @ Brian Berry Yours is a FABULOUS list.

  • 0

    Jessica Marie Sato

    @ Brian Berry Yours is a FABULOUS list.

  • 0

    Brian Berry

    Thanks Jessica. I like #10 on your redo of the list.

    Just a note, I don't think Jessica (the one you referred to as the author) is the actual writer of the article. I thought that at first glance too, but I traced the link back at the bottom to the Yahoo Japan "so-called" article. http://netallica.yahoo.co.jp/news/20121218-00000001-otome Seems that she is just reposting a translation, but I could be wrong.

    Pretty much what I think we are looking at is the Japanese equivalent of the sorts of poorly written tabloid style articles yone would see on a typical Yahoo front page in the US.

  • 0

    savethegaijin

    @Jessica Marie Sato

    You are either married to a Japanese gentleman, or your observation skills are pretty keen...

    If I had written it, it would have been identical to your list. I met my husband back home in the States, and though we've been (coerced into staying) here coming up on 2 years he's still pretty westernized in comparison to most Japanese men... and yet, everything you wrote is FACT. Not that the above is all together negative... I rather take a little comfort in the fact that achieving their happiness is generally a little more... what's the right way to say this... uncomplicated - than some of their western counterparts.

    But that being said - somewhere along the line I feel a large chunk of Japanese men (my husband included) were told that any time they do or say something their spouses/girlfriends take offense to, the only possible way to be redeemed by throwing money at the problem (by way of a gift, fancy dinner, etc). Which in and of itself is disrespectful. But, for that type of thought process to change would mean that a Japanese man would have to, well, change. And Japanese women, for that matter. Not very malleable people, the Japanese. ;)

    Mah well. Nobody's perfect.

  • -1

    wtfjapan

    @Brian Berry id add

    10 tell her you make 10million+ yen a year and it all hers to do with as she pleases, and that youll only need just enough of that to wash your clothes, eat & travel expenses to get to and from work 6.5days each week.

  • 1

    T-Mack

    There is no set list or recipe for true love...It just happens...True love is different for everyone, that will really turn both lover's on...!!!

  • 2

    theFu

    The only 1 that really scared me was:

    1. Even if you aren’t dating, tell him you want to have his babies.

    Ladies, don't do this.

    If the man hasn't brought up children - do not do this. It will make men look for a way out. That statement needs to wait until you know each other well and have already discussed children in general.

    I've had women say this to me a few times, including a crazy Japanese lady as I was checking out of a hotel in Tokyo. We were just standing in line near each other, nothing more. I did get on the plane leaving about 3 hrs later WITHOUT her name, number or email.

    I could be wrong, since I am not Japanese.

  • 5

    Jessica Marie Sato

    @savethegaijin

    Yes, I am married to a Japanese man. Don't get me wrong, he's awesome and well travelled and is very open minded. I just feel that as a Japanese man, there are certain things that must be done to ensure happiness in the relationship. In Japan, women are expected to take care of their husbands. When you date its different, but I tell you, if you say some of the things that are on that list written in the article, you are in for trouble. You won't get a guy that you want to be with long term.

    When you get married to a Japanese man, the truth is in what I wrote.

    I can do anything I want (go out with friends, write, go shopping, go to concerts and parties, etc) as long as some or most, if not all of the 10 I wrote fall somewhere in my daily routine. It shows that I am putting energy into making him happy. I love him dearly and I am willing to get off my butt to give him a smile.

    Some girls from overseas don't want to change who they are. 'If he wants a drink, he can go get it himself.' That's good, and in 15 years, you can tell your 10 cats all about how you told him to get his butt to the fridge.

    Look, my husbands deals with the Japanese stuff - bills, rent, insurance, and so on. He works hard and he deserves for someone to show him that.

    The greatest advice to getting a guy is:

    BE YOURSELF. Don't be afraid to talk about you hopes and dreams and what you like and don't like.

    Put down your phone when you are out on a date. What is important is in front of you, not what is in your hand. I personally don't have a smartphone because I find it hinders human interaction. My friends all text when I am talking to them. It's terrible.

    Show them who you really are. If they don't call you back, good riddance. You didn't need them anyway.

    You will find someone to love you for who you are. Not because some list reinforced by quotes from teenagers told you to do certain things.

    But if you love someone, and they love you. You must always meet each other halfway. Each other has to make compromises and it will all work out, especially if you are from two nationalities.

  • 2

    whiskeysour

    Sarcasm with a dash of extra sarcasm............... Don't take it seriously pleaseeeeeeeeeee Have some sense of humor !!!!!!

    (1.) Translation Say, " Sugoi ne !!!!! Suberashi !!!! " everytime he does something every 3 minutes - Your a brilliant man (including when he brushed his teeth + breath mints) (Especially the Tokyoite who put on deodorant in the morning & not smelling of curry or meat smell)

    (2.) Translation - Ask for permission for everything (It's the traditional way - make him feel important)

    (3.) Translation - Laugh at his jokes event though he is very boring and his jokes are dry.

    (4.) Translation - Throw all your dignity away because your main goal is to become a house wife right ? Just say to him you want to have 10 - 15 children with him. He'll think your crazy but in his mind he thinks your sex crazy or loves sex. But you know what happens after marriage you will get tired really quick having the same boring sex, and the same step by step sex positions & etc. After 6 months you would tell him you have a headache, next day your feet hurts, next excuse your on your cycle, next day you have to walk the dog, next day you have to go to your mother's/ grandmother's house etc etc etc.

    (5.) Translation - Lie and say the place where he lives must be a nice place. Ask him can he introduce his mother to you. Pretend to be interested in his small town or large city.

    (6.) Translation - Who cares what you did or who cares about you. It's okay if he doesn't ask a single question about you. This is about satisfying his needs not yours. Ask permission to massage his feet or go to his place and start doing the laundry right when you walk through the door.

    (7.) Translation - When he makes a mistake saying another girl's name instead of yours or talking to another girl when your on a date with him. Just shrug your shoulders and say " Shoganei " it doesn't matter. It must be my fault... I must do everything to please this guy. Anything....... If he does a small mistake like ummmmmmm fall down the stairs or yells at the waiter or waitress... It's okay. Say it's cute !!!!!!! If he spits on the sidewalk say it's cute. If he sits down in the green or red seats ( marked handicapped) Smile and say it's sooooooooo cute.

    (8.) Translation - When your at a dinner party follow behind him everywhere. Make sure you hold his wallet, drinks, napkin, and etc. to wipe his mouth or to serve him.

    (9.) Translation - If he is absent or sick Time to go to his house with miso soup or bake a cake for him or wash his clothes, clean his room or etc. Maybe you should give him a bath while your at it. After you catch his cold or sickness. Say to him, I would do it again and again and again. I want to take your sickness away and I will be sick for you........

    (10.) Go for the gusto !!!!!!!

  • 0

    whiskeysour

    When he brushes his teeth in the morning before going out. Say to him, your so brilliant and kind.

    When he takes a shower in the morning compliment him by saying your not like the other guys. Your brilliant !!!!

    When he has for breakfast 5 hot wings, 2 hard boiled eggs, natto, & umeboshi sandwich. Compliment him by saying, your going to clear out the train & maybe the train station today baby !!!!! "

    Sound effect - Brooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm

  • 2

    sighclops

    cringefactor 11!

  • 1

    tmarie

    Laughable to say the least. Kids... hahahaha! More like how to lose a guy on the first date.

  • 1

    YongYang

    1. I swallow.
  • -2

    Shi Yuehan

    Love you Long time....works.

  • 4

    AkariYoshida

    just be yourself, if a man or woman cant accept you for who you are then they don't really love you and there's no reason to be in a relationship

  • 3

    Tamarama

    The thing that had the most impact on my when my wife and I first met was;

    "I can't see you Tamarama, I have a boyfriend".

  • 3

    Thunderbird2

    10 - Yes I can still fit into my school uniform

  • -1

    LH10

    yes agree with you southsakai, why follow this stupid advice. lol! especially from japan? this whole thing is like like that mind game you want to avoid.

    geez just be who you are. you can't please everyone you date lol there is that 1 person that loves you for your grumpy ways bad manners and your good days.

    lol! and doesn't #4 scare off the guys? xD

  • 1

    LH10

    LOL!! whiskeysour that was awesome! but that actually did happen to me lol! the stupid ex (31 japanese) wanted me to do exactly what you wrote ><. ugh got outta that relationship quickly.

  • -2

    sikdjgugu

    9 phrases? puhlease!! you only need one: "i'm picturing your schlong engorged down my throat and it's flooding my vajayjay with cream juice"

  • -1

    Knox Harrington

    Jessica Marie Sato,

    4 on your list is a good one. That would, if not make me fall head over heels, at least feel pretty good. Not a bad thing, right? Needless to say, it works in both directions, that beer getting.

  • 0

    Knox Harrington

    Ah, so a "#" makes all the following text #bold? Good to know...

  • -1

    budgie

    So we already knew Japanese guys needed so much coddling. Personally I blame the mothers. In a society that aspires to mediocrity, it gets like the so-called 'sports day' at kindergarten: everyone who participates is a winner. No wonder there are so many tarted up buri-ko girls around clapping their hands and shouting, "sugoi!".

  • 1

    FruitsBasketFan

    I will be freaked out if a woman tells me straigh onward that she wants my babies.....

    I rather wait until we are engaged to discuss things like that.

  • 1

    HonestDictator

    I have to admit I did like the,"I want your babies" bit when I was dating this one woman, but the thing was we had been in a relationship for over a year and she actually meant what she said, and we were both on the same page at the time. But if I heard "I want your babies" before a possible relationship even began or within less than 5-6months of dating, I'd run for the hills.

  • 0

    LH10

    lol!!! budgie!! so true. IT'S THE MOTHERS!

  • 0

    vctokyo

    i just wasted 5mins of my life reading this..10seconds making this comment

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