Adultery website shows fastest growth in Japan

Just don't get caught and you'll be fine. Enjoy your life and have a good affair.

I prefer my peace of mind. I don't have to worry, I don't have to hide anything from my wife, and I won't be the recipient of some exotic STD to be passed on to my unsuspecting wife.

People are going to do what they want to do, the whole "women use for free" thing reminds me of ladies night at a pub and it's a pretty funny idea that certainly seems to be working.

Sensei, how can you have peace of mind if you're not feeling satisfied in life? Love is important for overall well-being. Sex is a bonus.

This is "Desperate Housewives" in reality. Have fun. ;-)

Too bad the men won't put that money and energy into their married relationship. But, go ahead, knock yourselves out. What could go wrong?

Religion aside, this taboo might help Japan's social and population problems. Gogogogo!

To those knocking the comments about having a fun time with this, don't judge - if you're not in a bad, sad and irreparable marriage (or even a "good" one but without any sexual attraction to your spouse) then you will not understand. Japan in particular is one of the worst places to get divorced; not only is there the complications of stigma, money and the like but as all those familiar with the family court system know, a man who wishes to divorce his wife is for all intents and purposes viewed as a deadbeat who wants to bail on his family and will have no rights to his kids (it's not just that way for foreign spouses, btw; the Japanese courts are just as bad to Japanese men). And even for women, they get far less here than in countries to which Japan considers itself to be an equal. So if there exists a tool where a person can have some fun sex on the side without having to go all nuclear on his family, all the better. Frankly, it is just so naiive to look at this and say, "Tisk tisk, you should invest your money into fixing your marriage." Puhhleeeeze..

A society cannot establish itself with such shenanigans going on.

As the famous playboy Ishida put it, "furin wa bunka"

I am nothing against married couples who want to try something new with their sex lives, as long us both are aware and have each other's approval of what they do,then it's ok. BUT cheating is a different story, when a person tries to sleep with various people behind her/his partner's back then its wrong. If he/she is not happy with the sex life then get out of the marriage and give their partner the right to find somebody who can treat them properly.

Biderman, who is in a monogamous marriage and has two children

So he says...lol

Given how cheap soaplands and delivery health have gotten these days, I'm surprised Japanese guys would be interested in this service....

The 'Asian divorce' is not a real divorce, just an icy wall made by one or both people. Maybe they even live in different cities because of work. I have never been aware of so many women dating a married man exclusively for years. Seems to be a dead end street but it also seems to fit the Japanese professional lifestyle where the opportunity to date and be with your partner is something that takes a distant back seat to work.

The low divorce rate in Japam is a fallacy. I think if you did some hard research on "unhappy marriages", you'd be in for a shock. I really respect the couples that try to hold the family unit together for their kids' sake.

Too bad the men won't put that money and energy into their married relationship. But, go ahead, knock yourselves out. What could go wrong?

@ Patricia: You are missing the point, men are spending because women are there for free. If only a few women signed up and were willing to do this, then the web site would fail. But, as the article states, it is a success not so much because the men are paying, but because women are signing up and making themselves available. To borrow a phrase from a movie: "If you build it, they will come." In other words, if the women are allowed to sign up and meet for free, then the men will sign up and look.

Except that Ashley Madison is largely a scam. Most of the women's profiles are not real. They lead you along just long enough for your points to run out, make you buy more, and then disappear.

ashley madison is the biggest scam around. my friend tried it and all the winks and messages stopped after he bought credits. just check out the reviews on the web.

Agree with Onniyma & rickyvee. At least I haven't paid for any credits. Get e-mails introducing new members with nice photos but when I try to look often their profiles "no longer exist".

Disgusting and tacky website. Feel sorry for people who need to sink this low in order to have some "fun".

A shameless company without class making a profit out of aiding others in being unfaithful and thinks nothing of encouraging people to cheat on their spouses promoting betrayal undermining trust and commitment between husband and wife which is the foundation to marriage. We all know that marriage is more than sex but it also is sex. However having an affair does not come without consequences. Among the consequences are having a guilty conscience revolving around anxiety and fear, feeling bad about everything condemning ourselves, disharmony, mistrust, lost of marriage, harm to the spouse, harm to children, and harm to the other person involved in the affair. The only way to elude the consequences of infidelity is to remain faithful to one another though out the marriage which brings real inner happiness with true and lasting peace and joy.

I can understand people who "cheat" for love and sex. Marriage is no guarantee of either and marriage is more than both, and so no worth divorcing for if you can get them through affairs.

But I cannot stand people who cheat others out of their money with lies and phoney promises. It seems Ashley Madison is banking on the gullibility of the Japanese after cheating so many in other places. Please. Cease, desist and go home.

I thought facebook was the destroyer of marriages, I'm now wrong.

ashley madison is the biggest scam around. my friend tried it and all the winks and messages stopped after he bought credits. just check out the reviews on the web.

It is a scam but I guess it just shows that the owner knows his human nature well. The only good thing about it aer the commercials. If you have not had the chance, take a look on You Tube for some of their commericals, they are pretty funny. A few years back there was a big controversy in the States on these commercials being shown during hte Superbowl. But, as the saying goes "A fool and his money are soon parted" and if guys want to pay for this, then they are the ones who loose.

AlphaapeApr. 04, 2014 - 09:24AM JST

@ Patricia: You are missing the point, men are spending because women are there for free

Men are for free as well

ashley madison is the biggest scam around. my friend tried it and all the winks and messages stopped after he bought credits. just check out the reviews on the web.

Yep, I don't believe a thing unless I hear it from someone I know. Good reviews on the web of a website or product just tells me the company has staff writing fake reviews for them.

The guy is a sleaze!

I think it's a shame if one spouse or both reach a point where they want to cheat, but I suppose if it makes their lives better then it's up to them. What they need to also keep in mind, though, is that while there is gratification, it can end up very bad for everyone in the long run.

I understand why people who are not in the typical Japanese marriage would dislike this. It's not for me, but almost every Japanese and westerner I know married to a Japanese is in a loveless, sexless relationship that they cannot easily get out of. The men don't leave the relationships because of the draconian family courts that take away their children. Additionally, social interaction in Japan is group-based and there are not many places where you can simply meet new people if you are the typical Japanese man, especially with the silly long hours they work. No wonder websites like this are so popular so quickly. No wonder there are so many prostitutes in Japan, regardless of the little euphemisms they come up with for it.

As I said before, why get married if you don't really want to commit or even try to work at your marriage? If you just wanna screw around, you don't have to get married to do so.

“Life is short. Have an affair,”

Life is short. Make it shorter by getting AIDS.

Monogamy is increasingly a good rule until they find an effective cure to HIV. STDs are rife in Japan and Japan is currently in denial about AIDS, but given the amount of travel to and from Japan and other Asian countries the official level of HIV is unnaturally low and the lack of testing makes me suspect that it is much higher.

The tragedy about these adultery sites is that there's a great deal of secrecy and unlike a casual hookup, where any sensible person would wear a condom, the husband at home doesn't think it is necessary, so you're not only signing your death warrant, but also sentencing your husband to death.

I don't care how frustrated the wife is feeling, if she's unhappy in her marriage then be honest and get a divorce, but don't think you're somehow "entitled" to cheat.

STDs are rife in Japan and Japan is currently in denial about AIDS

Agreed. I read that the "official" number of people with HIV/AIDS in Japan is under 2000 people: (http://fukuoka-now.com/feature/aids-day-2013-in-fukuoka/) Laughably low, if it weren't such a serious issue. Then again, in a country where abortion is basically a method of contraception, I guess high rates of STDs shouldn't be a surprise....

What do you in a sexless but otherwise happy marriage? Do you get divorced solely on the basis that there is a lack of sex? Throw everything away for that one lacking element? Or do you check your Judeo-Christian morality at the door and recognize sex as the biological function that it is...and assign its proper value and place in the scheme of things? Clearly, these are questions of individual preference and as such are not deserving of either praise or condemnation anymore than a preference for coffee over tea.

i have also heard that this is a scam. Just false attention from women to get you to buy more credits. That aside, makes one wonder how muuch longer the institution of marriage can last. Less and less people getting married, high divorce rates, casual acceptance of adultery (even US presidential candidates can cheat on their wives and still be in the race and look at clinton), extension of marriage outside its traditional religious meaning.

Bilder - the reason people like this over a soapy or deriheru is that the latter are directly paid for and the blokes know that their girl is doing it with plenty other guys (often just a short time before their turn) while this allows men the illusion of wooing and being the "only one".....

Personally i have no interest in online dating. heard too many scary stories to give it a try.

Too bad the men won't put that money and energy into their married relationship. But, go ahead, knock yourselves out. What could go wrong?

What? You mean the men who don't have control over their paycheck because they give it to their wife to run the house? Energy might be a different matter but if you're talking about Japan, your forst part is incorrect. And for all you know, it might be the wife who isn't putting the effort in. Why are J men always blamed here for such things?

The low divorce rate in Japam is a fallacy. I think if you did some hard research on "unhappy marriages", you'd be in for a shock. I really respect the couples that try to hold the family unit together for their kids' sake. Agree with your first part, not your last. Many couples who "stay together for the kids" end up having kids who have seriously screwed up views of relationships because that's what they saw growing up. A loveless marriage with parents who don't speak to each other is not better than divorced parents. The issue here though is custody with dads getting cut out of kid's lives.

Let's be honest, the divorce rate here would skyrocket if women worked FT and made iving wages and dads had a fair chance to see their kids after a divorce. As it stands now, unhappy women who don't work don't have much choice but to suffer with a crappy marriage just as unhappy men have to suffer if they want to see their kids.

If folks are happy with spouses that play around, fine. I know more than a few marriages where both the men and women do - see the reasons above as to why they aren't divorced. However, if one is lying to their partner about it, I think it's wrong. However, not really any of my business but don't understand why you'd go onlline to look for someone when there are millions of people out there to pick from without paying for a service.

insists the social network is just a tool and no one can force anyone to betray a spouse

That's one way to excuse yourself out of providing a platform that will result in many hurt and broken hearts.

There is no love in Japan. It's all just fake materialistic 'rabu rabu' stuff like White Day and ridiculously expensive weddings with all the trappings of fairytale romance but none of the sentiments. So people are lonely and unfulfilled and they cheat, with other lonely and unfulfilled people. All you need is love. Who said that? Oh yes, it's a Beetles song, isn't it? And we know how much Japan loves the Beetles. Yet more superficial nonsense - you can sing it but can you feel it?

Fukuppy, it's "The Beatles"...

All this stuff about no love in Japan and fake marriages. One might think Ashley Madison got its start in Japan! Nope. Afraid not!

Worst of all though is the failure to address and deal with human reality. Oh, I know some lucky souls have marriages that take care of all their earthly and spiritual needs. But guess what? Neither life nor marriage is one-size-fits-all-shoe. Don't tell me we can all be the same. We can't!

Then there is the fear-pimping with the STDs. Yes, STD's are real and you need to be careful. Which is why I strongly suggest you take care of your needs and not wait until you become desperate and wind up doing something stupid. I have had affairs and many lovers for decades but I never had an STD even once! Why? Because I am careful! I don't visit prostitutes and I don't use websites. I meet women for real and judge them face to face and have some dates first.

So I am not technically against the idea of Ashley Madison, I just think its going to be hard to separate the sensible people from the flakes. Often you can spot a flake from across the bar if you open your eyes and not waste any time there.

It seems many / most of the lady-profiles on that site are fake.

In fact. an ex-employee of theirs in Toronto (they are Canadian based) is suing them for making her create 100's of fake women profiles so they could leech money from all the men / suckers. She kept all the evidence according to the lawsuit, which now Ashley Madison is countersuing to get back (and then bury?).

TORONTO -- A dating website for married people seeking affairs has slapped an ex-employee with a countersuit after she accused the company of making her type up hundreds of fake profiles of sexy women.

Ashley Madison is countersuing Doriana Silva on allegations she kept confidential documents, including copies of her "work product and training materials.".....

The actual article is over at: http://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/ashley-madison-countersues-ex-employee-over-fake-profile-claims-1.1742088

tmarieApr. 04, 2014 - 12:10PM JST

don't understand why you'd go onlline to look for someone when there are millions of people out there to pick from without paying for a service.

so, where are you going to meet these "millions of people out there to pick from" ?? In your kaisha? In the densha? Oh, probably, at the dentist office on Saturday?

I don´t understand the haters. The service is simply answering to a market. And what does it matter that it is a website? These days, everything is a website. Before the internet, there were contact ads, swinger clubs, bars... why does the medium matter. And of course this is not a Japanese phenomenon, but international, obviously. And it is not a new phenomenon either... adultery is as old as humankind. People who get all judgemental here should really take a deep breath and relax.

@Fukuppy

There is no love in Japan. It's all just fake materialistic 'rabu rabu' stuff like White Day and ridiculously expensive weddings with all the trappings of fairytale romance but none of the sentiments. So people are lonely and unfulfilled and they cheat, with other lonely and unfulfilled people. All you need is love. Who said that? Oh yes, it's a Beetles song, isn't it? And we know how much Japan loves the Beetles. Yet more superficial nonsense - you can sing it but can you feel it?

Been dumped by a Japanese lady recently?

Tried it for fun : it's just a basic scam. I can't understand why a website like JT would promote this kind of sites (by making an article out of it). Shame on you.

It seems many / most of the lady-profiles on that site are fake.

In fact. an ex-employee of theirs in Toronto (they are Canadian based) is suing them for making her create 100's of fake women profiles so they could leech money from all the men / suckers. She kept all the evidence according to the lawsuit, which now Ashley Madison is countersuing to get back (and then bury?).

That would probably explain why they decide to start their service in Japan: the lid on their scam was blown in No. America. Now they're trying to hook in as many gullible people in Japan and possibly other parts of Asia before they get exposed again.

As the saying goes, there's one born every minute.

There is no love in Japan.

100% disagree. My husband and I are happy and in love. As are many of my friends who are in relationships in this country. Sure, lots of unhappy couples, women wanting and ATM and men wanting a maid but not everyone is stuck in a loveless marriage or relationship.

so, where are you going to meet these "millions of people out there to pick from" ?? In your kaisha? In the densha? Oh, probably, at the dentist office on Saturday?

Seriously? How about the same place they met their spouse? Many office affairs - believe it is the number one place to find someone. Add in bars, restuarants, gym... a whole lot of options. And less evidence that the history in your computer or keitai. If you need help finding someone to cheat with because you're too dumb to figure out where to find someone, chances are you're not smart enough to do it without getting caught.

My husband and I are happy and in love.

That's good to hear tmarie.

I'd be lying if I said I don't look at other women. But I seem to recall something about a not sleeping around promise when I got hitched. I can see the point of those who say life is short, but that's not how things work. At least for me.

I think it's human nature to look. I'm married, not blind! A matter of opinion if you touch or not!

genjuro:

" That would probably explain why they decide to start their service in Japan: the lid on their scam was blown in America. "

I am curious when their "scam was blown" in America? I googled for this topic, but there seem different opinions out there. Some people report scams, others report success. As usual with social networking sites, I assume that both is out there. I would expect a mix of legit profiles plus the usual scammers.

Can you explain when and what exactly for blown?

"But Japan is not immersed in the Judeo-Christian morality prevalent in Western nations, and prides itself on a culture that celebrates the art of seduction such as “The Tale of Genji.”

People keep saying this as if the only people in the world who think adultery is wrong are Jews/Christians.

Basically, there are many people in Japan who never married for love in the first place and in some of those cases the wives may be happy for the husbands to get sex elsewhere. But, just don't go thinking that all Japanese are like that. Older couples get divorced because of affairs, people get hurt and rejected, and more importantly a lot of people have been getting married because they love each other and expect fidelity.

Still, there are obviously lots of men and women in Japan and elsewhere who find themselves sexually unfulfilled - and it's not always their fault. (Some people have tried, but still have a partner that for many different reasons - probably as many different reasons as there are people - just aren't there for them.

The fact that a site like this exists is sad.

I don't think it helps the real problems. Married people need all the help they can get - and this isn't one of them.

Haha I had never heard of this company so I just hit youtube, some stuff is dated but sounded like members were 70/30 men to women sooooooooooooo unless the lady members have boundless energy & time clearly over 50% of the guys are going to automatically feel its a scam LOL!!!

I think it's human nature to look. I'm married, not blind! A matter of opinion if you touch or not!

True.

My Wife always said that it is fine to look at the Menu but touching or ordering is not. Counts for both sexes.

Peacetrain

I don't think it helps the real problems. Married people need all the help they can get - and this isn't one of them.

I cannot work out how you could write all that stuff about people finding themselves sexually unfulfilled in a marriage, then conclude with the above.

To me, being sexually unfulfilled is a real problem, as real a problem as not feeling loved or wanted, which are certainly very real motives for having affairs too! (its not just sex!).

To me, marriage is a partnership, not a sex contract. For many reasons that having nothing to do with affairs, the sexual aspect of my marriage has pretty well dried up. But, if I am not sexually fulfilled, I get depressed and near suicidal. If I am sexually fulfilled, I can move mountains! I would be a fool to get a divorce. But I would also be a fool to let myself be sexually unfulfilled. I don't think Ashley Madison is legit or worth my time, but I sure do wish it were! Life would be much easier!

There are numerous sites like this and ones that charge for having a limited number of messages are total scams. Nothing new here.

If you are unhappy and unfulfilled in your marriage, talk about it with your husband/wife first. And if the two of you cant reach an agreement on what to do, go ahead outside the marriage. But the other partner has to know. I have no problem with sex outside a marriage. Its the lies and the deceit that get me. You have one partner thinking everything is fine, and the other doing whatever the hell they want. Its dishonest and its not fair. If your partner wont agree to step up in the marriage, and wont agree to allow you to hunt elsewhere, then you talk about divorce. Ive been cheated on. It was the lying that hurt more than anything. First because I was duped and manipulated into thinking everything was fine when it clearly wasnt, and second because, had I known such an arrangement could have existed - I had had "opportunities" shall we say? - that I turned down in the interests of doing what I thought was right. 10 years on and we got through it, are still together and very happy, but once broken and rebuilt trust is a fragile thing, and the damage it did to our relationship and the effort needed to patch it up far outweighed the kick out of being sneaky. Japanese men can be verypassive-aggressive in that way. His reasons? Contrary to what people say, it was nothing to do with me and he freely admitted that. He did it because he could - no other reason. He didnt want a divorce, was very happy with me, loved me, yada yada yada. He just did it because it was there and he could.

I think the essence of ZEN is to control ones passions and not to be mean. How does adultery do either?

This is one of the things I can never understand about japanese culture, or human nature (as most are quick to say "well other countries are doing it, not just Japan!"). I guess Japan really does promote this in a way. I have heard from numerous people who are married here said their wives are totally ok with them fooling around. I hate to believe this is human nature. Totally greedy and selfish. There are so many people out there in this world who are lonely and don't have anyone (but yet the world is overly populated...?). People who would want someone to love and be lord by, and for some reason these people can't get anyone. But then you have some people who already have someone (or many), and tend to get more. Is this human nature? Are women really bandwagon hopping mindless animals like this who are only drawn to social proof and goes where the wind blows?? Humanity disgusts me at times.

The only commodity the wrenched Noel Biderman is interested in is the misery, loneliness, and the desolate emptiness from loveless marriage. Biderman emotionally pick pocketing $125 million last year alone, " Errare humanum est, quod severis metes", Mr Biderman, to err is human, as you sow, so shall you reap.

@itsonlyrocknroll

$125mm in REVENUE, not net profit.

However, I do agree he is a multimillionaire by a long shot.

Love how people hate on this guy for discovering a niche market and catering to peoples needs; just because it isn't respectable doesn't mean he isn't a success. At the end of the day, he's the millionaire, and we're all just sitting here arguing online.

Hi ryuusei, $125m that what being raked in, ($40m profit),

I certainly don't begrudge entrepreneurs there crust, it's the cynicism of the business model, a little slap 'n' tickle amongst consenting adults, who's to judge?.

This is hanky panky with Noel Biderman playing his membership like a Stradivarius.

If Noel Biderman wasn't motivated purely by self-interest he would stick to just discreet introductions and a price structure consummate to single monthly fee one pays as remuneration for this style of 'dating' service

@itsonlyrocknroll

Everyone is motivated by self-interest to a certain extent, I don't see a problem with this. There's a market for this service, and he is free to charge whatever he wants. If his price is too high or unfair, no one would use it.

I don't think you or I are qualified to debate his pricing structure since we don't understand the business's operating metrics, etc.

@NathalieB

If you are unhappy and unfulfilled in your marriage, talk about it with your husband/wife first.

Just more ignorance of human reality. Such talk does not make people want to have sex. Talk does not people sexually attractive again. In fact, I have rarely ever seen talk really make males and females truly understand the deeper issues of the other.

Talk does not cure overbearing male jealousy. And talk does not cure the female nagging feeling that a man is about to leave her just for play time with a mistress.

I would no more burden my wife with the knowledge of my affairs than I would fart beside her and ask her how it smells. I don't like keeping secrets, but my intent is not malicious. Its for her peace of mind. Its for the sake of the smoothness of our relationship.

Of course I exercise the utmost caution to keep my affairs a secret. If I didn't I might as well tell her. Most people cannot handle these certain truths, and thus the railing against so much of what I say, even at the expense of putting so many people in complete misery.

Now I know some people are reckless and stupid and will interpret my words in the dumbest and most careless way possible, but they are not my concern. Truth and openness on certain things can truly destroy marriages. As someone who loves and values the truth, it pains me to admit that, but it is the truth.

And I am afraid that affairs are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the lies this world is built on. I hate it, but as most people can't handle the truth, I can't fix it.

Fair dues ryuusei san, my experience of the on-line dating industry is limited to reading the occasional odd humorous magazine article, I am also unqualified to judge the moral integrity of Ashley Madison clients.

My field of experience (I assist asset and fund managers, by analysing hedging strategies, I don't make calls, however I process the necessary qualifications, although my ACA 'log book' is limited to just one year experience), has some relevance to being able to build a 'profile' of Ashley Madison operating procedures.

As a private company, and to comply with the Japan Today rules I will not post links or direct reference to Ashley Madison (London) most recent filed accounts. However recent data declare 19,935,000 members. Anyone can sign up to the system for free and peruse there local members, Ashley Madison, in fact 6 member will be selected that match your profile within a 5 to 10 mile radius.

Ok here how it works, $49 buys the Introductory package which includes 100 credits, 5 credits to contact a member initially, but every message sent to that person after the first contact is free, 30/60 credits for 30/60 minutes of instant messaging, 20, 30 or 50 credits for 'Ashley' Gifts.

Now let's look at date management, privacy is pivotal to the user experience, on request Ashley Madison charges $20 ($19.99) to destroy the users data, so from a revenue potential this equates to $20 x 20 million almost $400m. On the real time chat feature i.e. conversation between two members, one of the members must agree to pay five credits to start a conversation and metered accordingly, credits can be purchased for allotted time of chat as previously explained.

Member have a "Affair Guarantee", to be eligible for a refund a members must send a "qualifying" priority mail message to at least 20 different members each month (winks don't count, explanation of a wink I will leave for now), Send at least five Ashley Gifts a month, actively participate in live chat for a minimum of 60 minutes a month. Member buy credits in the form of coupons.

So gleamed from this information Ashley Madison is not a on-line dating site per, because no formal introduction actually takes place. I hope I have not come over pompous, or pontificating.

I give you thumb up because you have a valid point.

Peacetrain:

" People keep saying this as if the only people in the world who think adultery is wrong are Jews/Christians. "

Thats two strawman in on. "The only people" is not the issue, and neither is "thinking that adultery is wrong". The issue is that Judeo/Christian morality makes adultery an issue of guilt and sin and all that. While in Japan and other societies with a Confusian background it is simply issue of keeping face and social harmony. That makes for a completely different psychological background. The people who get all riled and preachy about topics like this company are fundamentally showing their judeo/christian upbringing, even if it is subconscious.

I would no more burden my wife with the knowledge of my affairs than I would fart beside her and ask her how it smells. I don't like keeping secrets, but my intent is not malicious. Its for her peace of mind. Its for the sake of the smoothness of our relationship.

Are you stil having a sexual relationship with her? Because if you arent, fair enough. If you are, then no matter which way you cut it, and how much you convince yourself this is in her best interests - it isnt.

As someone who loves and values the truth

Uh-huh. Really??! Its not possible to have a rational conversation on this subject with someone so deluded.

NathalieB:

Life_aint_no_sitcom is simply describing the reality of human nature, and while you are preaching a wishful sitcom version of it. So ask yourself whose position is "deluded".

@itsonlyrocknroll

Nice analysis - I honestly can't say anything definitive since I don't know how the structure works, but I feel like many sites are like this or similar to this; of course, the burden is always on the men since they will always outnumber the women.

These sites are ripe for crime.. people hooking up in private... online predators.. scams, blackmail, extortion and yes... the M word... it might reflect how sexually bored and unfulfilled most Japanese women are with Japanese partners who have sex ... but do not seem to really want to make love... it is a stereotype that is rooted in reality.. it is almost abusive.. and Japanese women... well that is another story