Learn how to sleep in a toilet stall like a pro

Learn how to sleep in a toilet stall like a pro

TOKYO —

With the warmer weather coming, we are bound to have those days where a particularly heavy lunch or wild night before turns us into zombies by 1:45 p.m. The question is what do you do?

Many of us plug through the rest of the afternoon for fear that dozing at our desks would land us out of a job. Some among us have pondered the idea of catching some sleep atop the toilet; the only place you’re guaranteed some privacy in an office environment.  However, many are turned off by fears or stigmas that might be associated with sleeping in the crapper.

Then there are a select few – 30% according to a recent survey of middle-aged businessmen – who have the guts to go that extra mile and take a nap sitting on the can so that they can return to work refreshed. RocketNews24 would like to now share some of their various tactics, so that you too can embark on the noble art of “toilet napping.”

■ The King Tuts

These are considered your standard, no-nonsense toilet nappers, most likely to be first timers of the art. Simply lower the cover (hopefully the toilet in your office has one) and take your place atop thy royal throne, your highness.

This allows you to keep your pants up since they don’t have to touch the seat, which in turn lets you sprawl your legs in any kingly fashion you desire.

Be warned though: many of the toilet lids used in public restrooms don’t look stable enough to support the weight of an adult male.  Be sure to position your center of gravity near an edge of the lid, or risk having to explain why you have wet pants and a broken toilet lid stuck around your butt.

■ The Hot Cross Buns

In Japan a toilet with a heated seat is a fairly common occurrence. As such, some toilet nappers have become addicted to toasting their tuchus as they drift off to dreamland. Although the pants are usually down for this maneuver, which restricts leg movement, the warm sensation more than makes up for the minor inconvenience.

It’s also a challenging technique in these energy conscious times. It’s hard to overcome pangs of guilt from running the heater for so long just so you can have a warm butt. It makes you wonder how a Hot Cross Buns can sleep at night, let alone at 2:45 in the afternoon.

■  Avec L’Accoutrements

This class of toilet nappers believes that just because you’re sleeping in a toilet stall, doesn’t mean you have to feel like you are. Generally the realm of more seasoned commode catnappers, these people bring in their own objects to improve the ambiance of their tiled sleeping quarters. This is the preferred style for Tokyoites who like to do everything a little classier.

“I wear earplugs.” confessed one 29 year-old. That’s understandable since many public men’s rooms are capable of producing sounds that would give Dario Argento nightmares.

Another 28 year-old “worker” from Tokyo says, “I bring some air freshener with me in case there are any bad smells.”

■  The MacGyver

The MacGyvers are the Navy Seals of toilet nappers. Using only what is readily available in the stall they can jury rig an optimal napping environment. When they’re finished operation sandman they exit without leaving a trace of their deed.

“Using a few rolls of toilet papers, I create a frame to support my head on top of the water tank. With my head locked into position inside the TP tower, I don’t have to worry about falling over while sleeping upright,” recounts one 32year-old MacGyver as he recalls an especially daring nap he took in a toilet stall on the 42nd floor of a high rise office complex.

So there you have your first foray into toilet napping, this age old practice does go deeper but any more may blow your mind. We would like to remind you to always nap responsibly. Make sure there are no objects to hit your head on and cause injury. Also limit your naps to 10-25 minutes to avoid disrupting your circadian rhythm which could lead to health problems later on. Happy Napping!

RocketNews24

  • 0

    GW

    This is one topic I dont really wanna know much about about LOL!

    No wonder when I have to do a #2 & no one is exiting the damned stalls!

  • 0

    sakurala

    I wish I would be able to do this! Unfortunately my work only has the traditional Japnese toilets which don't lend well to napping.

  • 2

    ebisen

    Haha - a well written, well documented article..

    Strange as it might sound, I never thought of having an after lunch siesta this way.

    +1 for the earplugs, during toilet time some animals of the J-male species make sounds that, well, come close to a grunting, dying animal (never mind the farting, splashing, and the rest of the sounds)... Those people should definitely go see a doctor...

  • 3

    anahorn

    you gonna have a very bad headache when sleeping as on that picture

  • 11

    Ivan Coughanoffalot

    And at last the mystery of why it takes Japanese people 14 hours to do a day's work is solved.

  • 5

    Ivan Coughanoffalot

    no-nonsense toilet nappers, most likely to be fist timers

    I sincerely hope this is a typo. You'd never get any kip with that kind of carry-on.

  • 0

    gaijinfo

    I was at a baseball game once with some friends. If I recall, it was in San Diego. One of us left during the third inning. He didn't come back until the seventh or eighth inning. We asked where he'd been, and he said he'd fallen asleep on the toilet.

    I also recall an article on here a while back about people who eat their lunches in the toilet.

  • -5

    Za-zaam Flash

    what kind of anarchy..., sir, a revelation of those supervised optically and classifications unknown. A follow up please with collaborative aerial obliques from passive CCDs. lol

  • -1

    ReformedBasher

    Arriving at a ski resort the night before to do some hiking, a friend tried to convince me into sleeping on the heated toilet floor. I stuck to sleeping in the car. Didn't have to roll up my sleeping bag the next day either.

  • 0

    garomakaikishi

    or u can learn from pam babcock. the lady from ness city kansas. she was sitting on her toilet for 2 years.

  • 5

    WilliB

    That means when I got to go and they are full, some freaks are sleeing in there? Unbelievable.

  • 1

    Ben Jack

    I have the feeling more people could use articles about how to work like a pro, especially those that would consider following the advice in this article.

  • 2

    Laguna

    Hilarious! Fortunately, my office has both a sofa and a door lock, which, when used in tandem, work quite well.

  • 0

    cactusJack

    Waiting for book 2: Convert a public toilet stall into a home office.

  • 0

    whateverz

    Jeez, this HAS to be a joke. Otherwise, I don't know what to say...Is Rocket news a tabloid magazine?

  • 1

    theturnkey

    I have yet to figure out how to crap in one of those Old style Japanese toilets. Wow! This crop of "unique Japanese" salarymen truly have talent.

  • 0

    hitoli

    How come mankind advanced, civilized, progressed...etc and end up sleeping in toilet like a pro??? lol.

  • 0

    HighLama

    Oh and hope you don't get busted by snoring too loud

  • -1

    Serrano

    "The MacGyver"

    Ha ha, lol

    I love articles like this! When I'm too sleepy to keep my eyes open, I excuse myself for 40 minutes or so and go to a place known only to me and come back totally refreshed and able to perform more than well enough to blunt any frivolous complaints!

  • 0

    Herve Nmn L'Eisa

    So THIS is how productivity is defined these days. Very moving. So, those plastic huts on construction sites can not only be mobile offices, but also siesta silos? Very advanced civilization indeed.

  • 0

    morikun

    I'm thinking this would only work in Japan, where the stall doors go all the way to the ground. Stretch your motionless legs out where a passerby can see them and they are likely to break the door down to rescue you.

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