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Judge sets new line for adultery in landmark case

62 Comments
By KK Miller

Cheating and adultery are one of the leading causes of divorces and break-ups. No one wants to be cheated on, and for those who do the cheating, the thrill of sneaking around and trying not to get caught is sure to spur some adulterers on. However, at what point is what you are doing considered cheating? For most people, sex is certainly cheating, and kissing someone other than your partner is crossing the line. But is having dinner with someone cheating? Is having lunch? Is spending significant time with someone cheating?

An Osaka judge has drawn a new line in the sand for what is considered adultery in Japan, with one woman suing not her husband but his “mistress”, despite the fact that there was no intercourse involved.

This past March, a startling judicial ruling came down in the Osaka district court. A wife, who was suspicious of her husband and his female colleague, went to trial seeking compensation from the “mistress”. The judge ruled that the female colleague was indeed a “mistress” despite the husband and the other woman never having sexual relations. The defendant was ordered to pay 440,000 yen in restitution.

The uniqueness of this case was two-fold. First, it is quite rare for a wife to sue the mistress in Japan. Cases where a woman sues the other woman are few and far between. Secondly, cases where restitution was rewarded even though there was no sex involved are even less common.

While the husband worked for a pharmaceutical company in Osaka, he took frequent trips to Tokyo, where he met his female colleague. At first, the husband pursued a sexual relationship with the woman, but was rebuffed as she stated, “I don’t go after married men.” The two continued to meet during his trips to Tokyo. They classified their friendship as a “purely platonic relationship”, despite playing badminton together at the gym, and attending fireworks festivals together – something that many Japanese consider to be an especially romantic date.

The man’s wife quickly became suspicious, and she gathered enough evidence to take the mistress to court.

Although the court ruled that “there is not enough evidence to prove they were in a sexual relationship,” the adulterous couple “have to acknowledge that they went beyond a suitable friendship between a man and a woman,” and that it was an immoral relationship. Sakura Shimada, a lawyer from the Adire Law Firm was quoted saying, “When there isn’t a sexual relationship, it is very rare that you can claim compensation for damages. But, going forward, even when the situation is reversed, as in, a husband suing the wife’s paramour, if you cause damage to the ‘harmonious’ relationship of husband and wife, despite a non-sexual relationship, you can seek restitution.”

This ruling seems like a win, though plenty of times extramarital affairs, including those that don’t involve sex, can put a strain on the well-being of involved parties. The notary public seems to agree. “Even if there isn’t restitution for adultery, the two of them meeting, as they were, it’s just better if they avoided that kind of relationship. Moreover, with this ruling, the judge has correlated a ’cause and effect’ due to the cold manner which the wife felt from the relationship of the other two. In each other’s homes, we should endeavor to preserve the harmonious husband/wife relationship and better connect with our spouses.”

With this ruling in Osaka, many unhappy spouses may start looking into their own dysfunctional relationships and attempt to claim monetary settlements. For, in a country with paramours abound, you can be sure this will not be the last of these kinds of cases. One wonders though, what sort of damages does 440,000 yen cover?

Source: Niconico news

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62 Comments
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Question: if his female friend was a gay male, is it still concidered adultry?

10 ( +14 / -4 )

What a joke. This basically makes it illegal for a guy with a jealous wife to have female friends.

14 ( +19 / -7 )

It's strangely convoluted how one women attacked and financially damaged the other woman when it was the husband who was at fault.

If no sex is required to "cause damage to the ‘harmonious’ relationship of husband and wife", can a wife now sue the husband's male friends too?

How many "harmonious relationships" have been spoilt (for wives) due to husband's baseball/fishing/drinking buddies on the grounds that they are having an adulterous but platonic homosexual relationship!?

Does it open the door to wives suing the bartender ... which might actually not be a bad idea!

The mind boggles at having to have a judge decide what "suitable friendships" are in this day and age ... but I'd bet that 440,000 Yen has just cost her her marriage.

21 ( +22 / -1 )

Marriage is such a sham in Japan anyways....

2 ( +10 / -8 )

If a non-sexual relationship ( having lunch, dinner ) is considered adultery, no one will be left in town.

11 ( +11 / -0 )

It has always been the case in Japan that a women could "sue the mistress". The only difference here is that they are both still denying anything has happened.

-3 ( +2 / -5 )

Lack of communication in most marriages in Japan cause far too much harm to people not at fault. It's sad the wife couldn't just talk to her husband and had to get the "mistress" involved. I hope she doesn't have any negative impact at work because of this.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

The only difference here is that they are both still denying anything has happened.

Did you miss this line from the article?

the court ruled that “there is not enough evidence to prove they were in a sexual relationship,”

The two were not having a sexual relationship.

-3 ( +3 / -6 )

The entire 'article' is based around the premise that judges decisions set a legal precedent for future trails/lawsuits. In Japan, that is simply not the case. Judges often seem to make it up as they go based on a mixture their own personal opinion and their interpretation of the law.

Also,

in a country with paramours abound

Really?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Suing the "other woman"? The wife sounds like a pathetic and miserable individual. If she really did feel aggrieved, why not file for divorce? Oh, maybe she wants to keep pocketing hubbies salary for 30 more years!

3 ( +8 / -5 )

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Hardly a surprising ruling from a country where having coffee with someone of the opposite sex immediately sets tongues wagging that it was a "date", not just two colleagues grabbing lunch together.

I can understand why it is so hard for women to work in Japanese companies when you can't even play tennis with a colleague without being accused of being "immoral".

Of course underlying this judgement is the judge's opinion that that there's no reason a man would want to spend time together with a woman unless it was really all about sex, so even if there wasn't any evidence of sex he's convinced they were at it like rabbits, hence the ruling.

5 ( +9 / -4 )

Exactly, what a joke, no sex = no crime.

7 ( +9 / -2 )

Why does the writer mention "notary public"? Typical JT writing.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

This ruling is ridiculous but it better cut both ways. Actually, it could cut quite a few different ways.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

The husband went after the mistress, but the mistress REFUSED a sexual relationship because SHE actually had some morals - and yet the wife sued her??! The wife should be thanking her, and kicking her miserable husbands sorry ass out.

18 ( +18 / -0 )

Paul ArensonApr. 24, 2014 - 09:21AM JST Why does the writer mention "notary public"? Typical JT writing.

A notary public is someone who has the authority to witness/authenticate/notarise documents, take affidavits, etc.. They're often a lawyer, but sometimes they're not. It is a job title.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Wow. I guess I'm an adulterer now...

The wife is an idiot. Suing over hurt feelings, was her name Sol Rosenberg?

3 ( +7 / -4 )

if you cause damage to the ‘harmonious’ relationship of husband and wife, despite a non-sexual relationship, you can seek restitution.”

In some cases, maybe the relationship isn't so "harmonious" to start with... (and It certainly feels good to have someone to talk to, in which case, one doesn't need to go the "whole way"...)

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Legislation written with emotion and not logic.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Why does the writer need to put in his little biases here and there in the story?

8 ( +8 / -0 )

I better get a huge loan and start paying off the wife.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Man I laughed when I read this!!!

When ever the subject of "judges" in Japan comes up I think of two words "" Common & Sense"", put them together & its pretty guaranteed you WONT FIND ANY when it comes to "judges" in Japan.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

have to acknowledge that they went beyond a suitable friendship between a man and a woman

With all due respect, I do not think it is for the court to decide what sort of friendship is "suitable" for persons of the opposite gender.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

seem to me he got off that crazy wife on the cheap!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I really hope that there was more to the case than is written here. As it is, it sounds ridiculous. Was the female friend also posting pictures of their 'dates' all over facebook and mixi? (seems unlikely as they are colleagues). Was their special relationship well known throughout the guys company, and with the company wives, causing extra distress? Did they spend a lot of weekends away together? (Yeah, I'd find that a bit much but I'd blame the husband.)

I have close friends of both genders, including married ones. I'd hate to have to back away from just the marrieds of the opposite gender and not be able to play tennis or go rollerblading with them. I wouldn't suggest an overnight excursion with a married guy if it would just be the two of us, though. Even if nothing was going on, I'd expect that could make someone uncomfortable and easily be misconstrued.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I know what a notary public is but WHO is the unnamed notary public that suddenly pops up in the 8th paragraph? And why would a notary public be making a comment on such a case to begin with

And is there any real difference between these two sentences: "First, it is quite rare for a wife to sue the mistress in Japan. Cases where a woman sues the other woman are few and far between." It looks like the writer (I use that term loosely) couldn't decide which version was better so decided to toss them both in (or maybe had a word count quota to fill up?).

And surely Shimada the lawyer has been misquoted here, "...if you cause damage to the 'harmonious' relationship of husband and wife, despite a non-sexual relationship, you can seek restitution." Why would the person causing the damage be entitled to seek restitution?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

They classified their friendship as a “purely platonic relationship”, despite playing badminton together at the gym, and attending fireworks festivals together – something that many Japanese consider to be an especially romantic date.

LOL. I guess the Japanese figure that fireworks -- literal ones -- can lead to fireworks -- figurative ones. Where' there's smoke there's fire, right?

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Wow! Is this sharia law? What would she have won if she sued the chick from the local snack where he went to on Tuesdays for a 5 knuckle shuffle?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Moronic...

There is a possibility of course there is more to there story.. but I still don't understand why the third party is the one that ends up with the bill...

my single sister in-law ended up having difficulties at work because ONCE after finishing a time critical project she had LUNCH with her married male manager... A co-worker actually rang the managers wife to tell her... that they had lunch.. nasty stupid people.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

damage to the ‘harmonious’ relationship of husband and wife, despite a non-sexual relationship, you can seek restitution.”

By this logic, I can sue my own wife for the damage she caused by turning the tap off the moment our kid popped out.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

I think a lot of people forget that Japan is not a western country, but instead bases its morality on Confucian (like most of East-Asia) and Shinto-Buddhist values.

The "harmonious relationship" between man and wife is pretty much sacred and the wife's suit was meant to get rid of the other woman, not break up the family.

Anyway, I'd caution against making judgment calls, honestly.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The wife should be thanking her, and kicking her miserable husbands sorry ass out.

But then she'd have to actually work for a living! Better to sue the friend! That'll make sure the husband is faithful and good!

Honest to god, this is stupid. I have dinner and drinks with male coworkers. I have attened fireworks with married men as nothing more than friends. Japan is so far behind the times when it comes ot men and women being friends is hurts. I encourage my husband to spend time with women so he can understand their feelings and point of view - and I know that if he says something stupid, they'll correct him, just like I do with my male friends and coworkers when they are idiots about helping out at home or with the kids. Huge lack of communication between the two sexes here and this only fuels it.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

What a completely ridiculous judgement! What kind phantasy world do the judges live in?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

No one wins, the wife looks jealous, the "mistress" is POed... more than likely the husband had to pay the money to the "mistress" anyway... all for 4000 dollars!?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Yes, and the hubby will be really fond of her now... way to save a marriage. Sheesh.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

If the husband first pursued the other woman, then it begs the question "Why?". Was the marriage less than "harmonious" to start, and Why/Why not? Was he not doing his "husbandly duties" or she her 'wifely duties"? Were either of them failing to keep the home-fire kindled?

This decision is a travesty. Indeed, if one's associations "disturbs the harmonious relation" between spouses, can the jilted spouse really litigate against his golfing buddies or her obachan circle as well? I need an adjective beyond ridiculous and ludicrous. Anyone got one?

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Does it say anywhere that she didn't also divorce the husband?

The one case I knew of, the couple divorced AND the wife sued the other woman (now 2nd wife) for marital interference. I never heard and didn't ask how the lawsuit turned out. I was treading carefully and managed to remain friendly with both sides of the original couple and their now new partners and kids.

I'm guessing that the couple above divorced AND she sued the mistress as icing on the cake.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

First the wife obviously wants to stay married. And the husband does too. And there are many reasons why they might. Westerners are too quick to think that you should divorce if you aren't happy. The wife wants to fight for her marriage.

Secondly, there wasn't a court case because the husband had coffee once at Starbucks. I don't know how other people live their married lives, but there are many women who would not be happy with their husbands spending lots of time with another woman - esp in romantic situations. If the husband was a decent man, he would have stopped. But, if I were a single man and knew that a man wasn't happy that his wife kept seeing me for coffee, dinner, walks in the park, and going to the fireworks, I'd refrain. Anyone who isn't is disrespecting the marriage.

Seems like I'm the only one who sees it that way though.

The other woman in this situation should have had more sense. It wouldn't have killed her, to just not meet the husband if it was making the wife unhappy.

Maybe the wife wants the husband to stop seeing the woman and being with her and the kids, and she wants the other woman to get lost. Well she got her way.

She wins, and the other woman will stay away from the husband.

Think about it too. If a man wants sex with a woman, and she says no, but still spends all that time with him, he's probably thinking that one night when the fireworks and chuuhai weave their magic that it might cross over from platonic to sexual. And if the woman was so offended by the sexual approach of a married man, why keep going out with him?

A lot of Japanese wives will have sympathy for the wife here. And some guys here wouldn't be happy if they told their wives they weren't comfortable with them seeing some young handsome guy but found out that they were always meeting in another city - even if they couldn't PROVE that sex had taken place.

This is practically not going to result in lawsuits for going to starbucks one time during lunch.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

The other woman in this situation should have had more sense. It wouldn't have killed her, to just not meet the husband if it was making the wife unhappy.

Maybe this woman didn't know the wife was unhappy? Why on earth would she know unless the wife started calling her and bothering her?

The wife wants to fight for her marriage. Clearly she just wants to fight. You don't try and save a marriage but suing someone for money.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

A lot of Japanese wives will have sympathy for the wife here. And some guys here wouldn't be happy if they told their wives they weren't comfortable with them seeing some young handsome guy but found out that they were always meeting in another city - even if they couldn't PROVE that sex had taken place.

Having sympathy for the wife is one thing. Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, and her husband apparently was intending to cheat. There's an awful long way from "feeling sympathy" to awarding a court judgement against a third party. Utterly, totally ridiculous. Even more so if husband and wife have stayed together, as the 400,000 will end up in the family coffers. So the most "guilty" person in the scenario gets paid???

2 ( +2 / -0 )

beyond a suitable friendship between a man and a woman,” and that it was an immoral relationship.

.... ???!!! That's religious gurus or judges that say that ?

no sex = no crime.

Because "sex=crime" ? I can understand a divorce is granted for adultery (and even, it's alt-modish, many country are dropping from divorce law). For the rest, sex between consenting adults, it's a 100% private matter. I think it's a waste of tax money to let courts deal with that, The cheated spouse has a totally personal choice to do : either accept adultery/non-exclusivity or divorce. It's childish to call authorities to deal with your personal choices.

he took frequent trips to Tokyo, where he met his female colleague.

That's what happens when your husband is not given enough pocket money to go with his male coworkers, to booze with hostesses and have sex at the soap... Do wives sue the mizushobai places too ?

playing badminton together at the gym, and attending fireworks festivals together – something that many Japanese consider to be an especially romantic date.

Oh dear ! I didn't get the memo. Well, Osaka is really a city of vice as on nice weather days, that's just like hanami parties, all nice spots near the rivers are reserved early for gatherings of coworkers to do BBQ, play badminton and do fireworks at night, of course males and females all together. You even see kids around... Oh, immoral is that ? This pure lady shouldn't stay in such a dirty city and move away to Afghanistan.

One wonders though, what sort of damages does 440,000 yen cover?

The wife wants to use it to revenge, by joining a fitness club and morally cheat on her husband with a hot young tennis instructor that is not even aware he is in a relationship (with each of the 40 bachans on his weekly schedule).

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The "harmonious relationship" between man and wife is pretty much sacred and the wife's suit was meant to get rid of the other woman, not break up the family.

Sorry but I think this harmonious relationship that confucianism promotes is romanticized and idealied by westerners who dont really get it. The "harmony" is based on the men doing whatever they want and the wives putting up and shutting up. And burying their hurt feelings in obedience to their husband. Thats not harmony. Thats just one person sacrificing their happiness for another in the name of it. Think that would have been promoted if Confucius had been female? Seriously doubt it.

Im also kind of wondering if the whole "all Japanese men are at it" thing really is true? Have no evidence at all to say it isnt, but we have quite a large % of male friends who I just could not imagine ever cheating. Are they really as bad as everyone seems to say they are? I just asked my husband what the reaction would be in his office if rumors got around that someone was having an affair, and he said people would absolutely look down on them, think its a bad thing, etc, and clearly Japanese dont accept it like they used to because marriages are ending in divorce over cheating.

So which is it? Is the level of cheating on the decline now that people are marrying more for "rabu rabu"? He also said there is a fairly clear line most people know about - just like in the west - like, he would absolutely have coffee or lunch with a female co-worker and not think twice about it (nor would I) if it was simply a case of working on something together or timing, something to discuss etc. or they simply get on! But actively seeking that person and that person alone out every day to spend time with then tips the relationship into less "co-worker" boundaries, and spending time outside of work tips it a little further into a grey area depending on what they do. For eg if they are both members of the same softball club - no biggie at all. But going to a fireworks display together just the two of them - that would be weird in his opinion. We live in Tokyo but my husband regularly went to Osaka on business, his home town. Whenever he was there he met up with an old female friend for dinners, or other activities. I didnt think twice about it. I know her well, her husband is lovely, her family really kind, and the only thing that pissed me off was that I wasnt able to enjoy her company too!

It was really interesting to get his perspective as a Japanese man on the whole thing. He also thought the wife should have kicked out the husband but probably cant if she has children and therefore isnt working or something. She cant support herself. He said it probably didnt get to this point out of the blue. The wife would have known about the other woman for a long time and probably asked him to stop seeing her, so a good man would have stepped up and respected his wifes wishes. He didnt. Ergo, he clearly doesnt respect his wife, and what is going to happen the next time she discovers his philandering? Because he will do it again - there is clearly a problem in the marriage.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

How to have guilt without sex.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

So the moral of the story is don't have dinner or a morning coffee with your female co-worker or vice-versa if you are married. It could cost you DEARLY!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Probably judges are familiar of Japanese customs of husband and mistress? They deny they have sex until mistress bore baby, You don;t know these two are honest or not.

While the husband worked for a pharmaceutical company in Osaka, he took frequent trips to Tokyo, where he met his female colleague. At first, the husband pursued a sexual relationship with the woman, but was rebuffed as she stated, “I don’t go after married men.” The two continued to meet during his trips to Tokyo.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Do any men behave like that on business trip?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Thats exactly what I wonder Toshiko. Are ALL Japanese men really like this? Popular culture would have you believe so, but there are so many good, decent Japanese men I know who I cant believe would do this kind of thing. Maybe Im just mindbogglingly naive, but I like to think the best of people until proven otherwise. Sadly, many of my foreign female friends who have worked in Japan over the years in the "entertainment" industry have a pretty low view of men. Conversely, I know of plenty of women who treat their husbands as nothing more than walking ATMs and think their duty is done once a child or two is produced. So sometimes these men are simply lonely.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Lots of ridiculous 'mentality' issues in Japan. This is just one of them. Why even bother getting married in the first place? Then, no contest!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

She cant support herself.

Why not? Plenty of women do here every day.

The wife would have known about the other woman for a long time and probably asked him to stop seeing her, so a good man would have stepped up and respected his wifes wishes. He didnt. Ergo, he clearly doesnt respect his wife, and what is going to happen the next time she discovers his philandering? Because he will do it again - there is clearly a problem in the marriage.

You're jumping to a lot of conclusions here. Maybe the wife "turned off" after having kids - do we even know if they have kids?? - or maybe she's a nasty creature but he won't divorce her because he feels sorry for her? I know plenty of guys married to "devil" wives here, I also know plenty of guys who cheat their butts off. Usually ones married to devil wives. I also know many wonderful guys with devils wives and I also know plenty of lovely guys with lovely wives with great marriages. Does he respect her? Certainly not. Does SHE respect him? Doesn't seem so as this can't be going over too well for him at work now can it? Why not get divorced? Because if she's a stat her, she 's doesn't have a FT job and won't bother to try supporting herself. Can of hard to respect her when she's clearly upset about her marrage and rather than take the steps to support herself, she continues on with a marriage where she's clearly not respected. But that's the life she's willing to suck up and live, no?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Courts should have no involvement in issues of either morality or marriage.

This case is just totally ridiculous.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

So... the guy tries to enter into an affair with another woman, the woman refuses but remains friends with the man, and SHE gets successfully sued?! Lets look at the result of this:

1.) The other woman is fined for doing the right thing in refusing to have an affair. 2.) The wife gets to keep living off of the spouse's income in ADDITION to receiving roughly $4,400 from the other woman. 3.) The man... gets no change to his life at all?

4 ( +4 / -0 )

I agree with her. Having dinner with someone other than your spouse is cheating. UNless its Starbucks... then its "bonding"!

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Arranged marriage customs in Japan: If a family does not have a son, the oldest girl becomes family head. Oldest son becomes family head. usually. Not poor people but well-to-do fami;y have good income and so son or son-in-law usually have mistress in somewhere, People who fall in love but family opposed? Have you heard term Shinju in Japan> Double suicide. They go deep in moutain or somewhere to suicide together or lay on railroad truck together, Well, if you are college educated girls, no family will make her as maid wife, anyway, no problem of mekake experience. I quit now as I talk too much about unique Japanese family customs.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Bill Adams:

" Courts should have no involvement in issues of either morality or marriage. "

Well, as long as marriage is a legal concept, the courts obviously have to deal with issues like divorce, alimony, fake marriages, and such things.

But trying to decide who can go with who to dinner or to the gym, that is is simply insane.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Well, as long as marriage is a legal concept, the courts obviously have to deal with issues like divorce, alimony, fake marriages, and such things.

That's the way it is, but it is not obvious that it has to be this way, and indeed, this is not the way I think it should be.

I believe that the institution of marriage should be left entirely to the church to regulate. There should be no alimony at all, and issues like divorce should be left to the church. Let them set up ecclesiastical courts to deal with this.

There is no reason the government cannot cede all responsibility for marriage to the church, while still acknowledging it for things such as inheritance, etc. Just say 'the church's ruling is final'. Unfortunately, politicians are power-crazed and want to control everything.

If society needs a civil version of marriage (and I'm not convinced it does, though I am open to persuasion) then we could have a system of 'civil partnerships'. But, as I've said, I just don't see either the need or the point.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

@Bill AdamsAPR. 26, 2014 - 06:04PM JST

I believe that the institution of marriage should be left entirely to the church to regulate..

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

But majority of Japanese are not Christian, They don't go to church to marry.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

But majority of Japanese are not Christian, They don't go to church to marry.

Nah, they go to hotels with fake chruches and fake priests and wear a wedding dress and like to pretend their Christian for a day.

Arranged marriage customs in Japan: If a family does not have a son, the oldest girl becomes family head. Oldest son becomes family head. usually. Not poor people but well-to-do fami;y have good income and so son or son-in-law usually have mistress in somewhere, People who fall in love but family opposed? Have you heard term Shinju in Japan> Double suicide. They go deep in moutain or somewhere to suicide together or lay on railroad truck together, Well, if you are college educated girls, no family will make her as maid wife, anyway, no problem of mekake experience. I quit now as I talk too much about unique Japanese family customs.

Have you looked at the calendar in the past few decades? It's 2014, not 1940. I honestly think you are so out of touch with your average Japanese person when I read your posts.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

There is a word that used for lovers who want to marry do/ Kakeochi ----- Eloping.'

BTW. @tmarie, check any city or villages' marriage license bureau. Look at stats. You will find people do not use fake church marriage. You are out of touch believing Japanese use church for anything. Hotels to marry? they marry in a family's largest zashiki. Using hotels that are used for yakuzas' gambling arena (niwaba)? To spend extra money?

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

toshiko-

You are out of touch believing Japanese use church for anything. Hotels to marry? they marry in a family's largest zashiki

i think you are out of touch... Japanese DO use church for wedding nowadays, whether they are christians or not (most likely not).

2 ( +2 / -0 )

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