Accepting it as it is
I broke my left ankle 22 years ago. There was a complication with it, so I had to have surgery. Once you break a part of your leg, it is more likely that it will never be the same as before. My left ankle is not the same at all. I can’t run and I can’t play any sports except for swimming, although I can work out with an elliptical.
Because of the injury, my left knee became weak, compensating for the ankle. During the change of seasons, my left ankle hurts and I limp often in the house. A funny thing is that I feel better when I wear shoes with high heels.
After the surgery, I went through physical therapy for 6 months or so, but it didn’t get better. It hurt so much that I couldn’t walk well. I remember my mom told me, “I wish I could cut off my left ankle and give it to you.” One day my mom got news that a monk who could heal anything was coming to town. I am not superstitious at all and I was VERY skeptical. But my mom was so desperate that she wanted to do anything for me. So I went to see the monk with her, but something happened to him and he couldn’t make it. We didn’t see him but I happened to sit on the chair that the monk always sat in. To my surprise, my ankle was much better and I was able to walk pretty normal from the very next day. Still to this date, it’s a mystery to me. But I don’t believe in that kind of stuff, so it may have been just a coincidence.
I don’t think about my left ankle so much because I have lived with it for 22 years. The pain is natural to me now. But the other day I thought how limping with a bit of pain was a part of my body routine and I forgot what it was like to walk without pain. If I want to be miserable about the fact that I don’t have healthy legs, I can be as miserable as I want. But why should I let the things that I can’t change bother me, right?
It’s the same for anything else in life. You can complain as much as you want: how unfortunate you are, you don’t have this or that, etc. However, complaining doesn’t change anything. Wouldn’t it be better to accept things as they are and to just live with them?
This attitude of “not accepting it as it is” causes so much damage in groups or organizations. In Japan, when we work as a group or we work for a company or an organization, we look at a goal first and work for it together. I am not saying that everyone is that way but the majority are. However, in the U.S., I have realized that many people (not everybody) come with their own agenda and insist on their way of doing it without thinking about the ultimate goal for the group or organization. I am sure it could be a good way to boost creativity but it does a lot of harm, too. I feel like those people who come with their agenda have no respect for their boss and his rules when they act like that at work, and it is as if they were doing whatever they want in their boss’s territory. This is one of the things I have a hard time understanding in the U.S.
But I accept them as they are, because I am not here to change anybody. Besides, trying to change others is the same as insisting to others that things be done your way. By knowing what I am dealing with and accepting others as they are, I can prepare a different way of dealing with them and I know how much distance I should take. Life is much simpler when you stay out of other people’s space.
Order by Time Order by Popularity
19 Comments
Login to comment
10
Akula
What are you trying to say Makoto? Shoganai is a good thing?
Once again you are bringing out these generalisations and sterotypes, and I'm guessing the response to this article will be once again largely negative.
-3
It"S ME
I don't see it as 'shoganai" but sometimes as something needed to move on and keep going, especially when we are powerless to change anything about it.
7
NetNinja
How about flipping the script around and see it from another view. What if it's your boss that has little respect for you and is abusive with his power.
True story: This boss comes in and scolds an employee for eating at his desk 1 hour before the actual work time. Work starts at 8;30 in the morning but the boss asks all employees who drive to be at work before 8:10. Are employees expected to sit and wait? They are not allowed to eat something warm?
The boss proceeds to make a public example of the worker by scolding him in front of a crowded office. He even told the employee that what he's eating isn't healthy.
Background Info: Worker: Quit smoking, started exercising, following his doctor's instructions to eat more in the morning. The Boss: Chain smoker, hospitalized for a month or more, doesn't exercise.
Makoto: Japanese tend to believe there is harmony in the workplace when in fact there is none. Facades last only so long.
Just because a worker leaves at prescribed time doesn't make him unprofessional. Americans are dedicated to their jobs from 9am to 5pm. At 5pm that dedication stops and we switch to other priorities.
Furthermore, Americans don't suffer from Horatio Alger Syndrome. All that hard work you put in at your company sacrificing your lives for another man's ideas is a white-wash. Rags to riches in a company, very few. The others are simply human resources.
If you believe that anybody cares you're fooling yourself.
There are some holes in your dam.
In Japan, when we work as a group or we work for a company or an organization, we look at a goal first and work for it together.
Who is "WE"? We = Japanese. Only Japanese.
we look at a goal first and work for it together. - False!!
There is no profit sharing going on here. You are called to a meeting. The boss tells you what he wants and you just follow that. When you achieve that goal, there's nothing.
I do appreciate Makoto's interesting articles. Some of them I liked, this one, don't know if you she's qualified to talk about this as I believe Japanese women don't commit themselves to corporate lifestyles or most of the time usually forced out.
Most of the article sounds like Japanese rhetoric and it's very dogmatic. The bureaucrats would simply love you though. They ride such principles all the way to the bank. They go to the bank by themselves though. All the Horatio's they have working for them can't go to the bank until they finish work at 5. Oh wait, the bank's closed.
I really didn't need to write so much. I could have summed up my whole argument in one word (Silly Me).
Olympus
6
borscht
Not exactly. Many people come with their own IDEAS about how to achieve the ultimate goal for the group or organization. Sometimes, in a thinking environment, people have different IDEAS. The purpose of meetings is to hash out the ideas and come up with a good plan.
If we want generalizations, how about this: In Japan, if the boss says do something, no one objects even if it is illegal (Olympus & Daiwa Paper) and could potentially destroy the company. Notice, it took an outsider to blow the whistle on Olympus. It took a THINKING person (Yoshida) to ignore his orders to stop pouring seawater into the nuclear power plant, an act that could have destroyed the entire region even worse than it has.
I do agree, somewhat, with her idea of accepting People as they are (not accepting their 'agenda' - that's different). If we know how our co-workers and business associates tick, we are better able to understand their point of view (and manipulate them) which aids in a useful dialog.
2
Reckless
I think some of the above message has value, such as if you are injured and it can't be helped, try to enjoy your life otherwise and don't dwell on it. Of course this idea is memorialized in the following poem:
God grant me the serenity to accep the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and The wisdom to know the difference.
Said another way:
For any ailment under the sun, There be a cure, or there be none, If there be one, try and find it, If there be none, nevermind it.
The vast majority of intelligent gaijin in Japan figure out quickly that Japan will not change. Like watching a glacier melt. Just try to enjoy it as it is, or move on.
0
Seawolf
And after stereotyping good Japanese way against bad USA way she contradicts herself - again. Because a broken ankle you can not change, but your working attitude you can change. Ok, true story from my side: the owner of a Restaurant I worked with was very bossy, sometimes unfair even, noisy. His shops are expanding now, doing good business. Another place, the chef was very narrow-minded and able to manipulate the friendly boss. That place is bankrupt now, the boss divorced, but the chef got a new job. The work place is a much more complicated thing than a "complicated" fracture.
3
tkoind2
I agree and disagree with you.
There are certainly some things that you cannot change. Death, taxes, permanent injury etc... And it is healthy to confront these issues realistically and to accept the things that you cannot change. But....
The are far more things that can be changed. The word "Shoganai' should be banned.
You say you have to accept people the way they are. Well, yes and no. Evil people, bullies, corrupt people, harmful people can and should be changed. I will never accept a bad person just because that is they way they are.
There are injustices in the world that look impossible to change. But look at Apartheid in South Africa. It took time, blood and support of people world wide, but it changed. Look at slavery in the US. It took a lot of lives lost but it changed.
We cannot view the world as something beyond our power. Nor should we mindlessly accept everything as "it is". This thinking is Japan's greatest failing. It is why your people are not in the streets demanding direly needed political change. It is why corrupt people carry on in office. It is why the helpless are not protected from the evil here. It is why Japan will fall deeper and lower behind rivals in Asia if this thinking does not change.
Stop hiding behind "Shoganai" and take responsibility for the world around you. Nothing improves, EVER, if you do not believe in the posiblity of change and in the very real fact that nearly nothing is impossible.
3
kaminarioyaji
Some things, such as your medical condition, can't be changed, and as you suggest, should be accepted, and move on. But other things CAN be changed, but sometimes they take that bit of extra effort.
During my years in Japan, I've noticed that Japanese are all for shouting Ganbare at things that don't really matter (Kids sports day, national sports teams, etc), but when it comes to things that do matter, such as shaking up your political system with its self-interested egomaniacs at the helm, the hubris of companies like TEPCO, worker's legal rights, etc, you Japanese give up at the first hurdle, and roll out the ol` "Shouganai" platitude.
Your apathy is your own undoing.
Things CAN change, and often do if the issue is forced enough, as exemplified by The Arab Spring.
Japanese say they don't like to ask "difficult" questions because it "disrupts the harmony", but have you ever thought about it like this? - Corrupt politicians/businessmen and generally bad apples in your society are the ones throwing the harmony out of whack; anything that takes them to task and brings them down is actually redressing the harmony!
3
SquidBert
I am neither a believing Christian or a Recovering alcoholic. But this article made me think of the Serenity Prayer. Please feel free to replace the deities with those of your choice (I personally recommend the Flying Spaghetti Monster).
Humor aside, I think a big part (or the good part) of many religions are often to teach us how to relate to our selves and each other. And accepting what cannot be changed is I think a part of mental and physical well being.
But we also need the courage to change what can/must be changed.
I think in Japan the acceptance (or shouganai) often comes on the expense of the will/courage to change that which has to change.
On the other hand I have also seen in the US and other parts of the world how the lack of ability to accept that which cannot be changed. There also often seem to be change just for the sake of change it self, or sometimes the sake of self promotion of some manager who wants to prove his worth.
As always, balance will serve you best.
1
Sasoriza
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference " Reinhold Niebuhr
Note the last part.
0
JapanGal
I think most Japanese are spineless. However, after working for me, they see that there is another way. A sense of relief, and being asked an opinion, and being looked up to as an important part of my team.
What we need are more foreign bosses here in Japan. Yes we can.
8
kurisupisu
Next time get your surgery done out of Japan,,,,,,,,,,,
4
tkoind2
JapanGal. I have found the same to be true. Once given some freedom and the opportunity to shine, people here really do step up. But you first have to break down that barrier of self-repression.
1
gaijinTechie
I hurt my leg too. I limped for a year. Absolutely NOT accepting it, I started a very long rehabilitation regime. Now it's as strong as the other one, and I have no problems running a half marathon in 1.5 hours!
"Group harmony" or whatever that means, cannot achieve any other goal than avoidance of responsibility. That is not a respectable goal. The ability to work and cooperate with someone who is different is a great achievement. Also, the "damage to group" is mentioned many times, but not exemplified nor defined even once. Mistaking it for growth pains perhaps?
1
Johannes Weber
I had a severe flake fracture in my left ankle twelve years ago. It forced me to walk on crutches for three months and kept me away from even light sports for half a year and it kept on hurting for about five years, with the pain always coming back at the worst moments. But You keep going on. You do whatever You can. And at some point, there is a silver lining at the horizon. No pain in the ankle for seven years now, even though I do lots of sports which heavily rely on joints and ankles. One big thanks to the doctors that fixed it a long time ago. Maybe Makoto's doctors were not good enough (or the injury was far too severe - she doesn't go into details after all).
Japanese people avoid in many cases taking up personal responsibility. This is called social harmony. If You offer Your opinion and suggestions, if You oppose a superior's bad plans, then You take Your share of the burden and accept the risk that it might harm You in the end. I see this tendency in many Japanese students who lack any vision of who they aspire to become. Their plans are limited to finding employment in a major company or marriage. Extremely sad. Vision is the driving force in individual lives and for society as a whole. Japanese education is deadly for young minds envisioning themselves and their futures.
There is no need to respect a superior if she doesn't prove her worth. It is necessary to be able to work with a boss productively, but there is no need to respect someone just because she is on a higher place in the hierarchy. A company is not the territory of its boss. It is the territory of all employees who keep it going. And of its owners or shareholders. The boss is just a manager of the property of someone else. She'd better remember that. The world will not bend to Your rules, no matter how much You are convinced of Your own greatness.
1
oikawa
The funny thing is the Japanese are some of the biggest complainers I've ever known, face to face if they know each other and behind people's backs if they don't. The reason they don't complain about the important things is because by and large most people here have a good life so complaining would be cutting off their nose to spite their face. Interestingly after 3/11 a lot of people did start complaining quite openly, and even demonstrating, because there was nothing more important than their and their chilldren's lives.
2
Tyler Vandenberg
There is a HUGE difference between complaining and questioning, what I have seen so far with my company working with Japanese contractors is that complaining and questioning are considered the same thing. The major difference I have seen is that in my company employees consider it their duty to question the boss's ideas or ideas of other employees thus problems seem to surface and are fixed before a plan is started ( I question my boss's plan for an issue every time) , for our Japanese contractor counter parts the plan is started on the boss's word alone and when the plan doesn't work the boss comes up with a new one and starts that plan. I'm not saying this to speak ill of them, but there is always more then one way to approach an issue. I have never seen any of them ever tell their boss "No, that's not going to work we shouldn't do that or that's a waste of time", and are very shocked when I tell my boss that. If you could ask my boss about it he would tell you everyone is human everyone makes mistakes. Just because the boss says it doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do.
0
gogogo
I disagree with the author, people don't have their own agenda in the west, people have ideas and brainstorm, in Japan I've seen teams following a leader that knew nothing and the project just failed or sucked because no one said anything, in fact I believe most people went along with it knowing it sucked just so they could kick the leader out once the project failed. That is the Japan way I know. In the west groups want the best of the project and speak up, ultimately you need a strong leader to rope people in so if you are a weak leader your project wont go anywhere.
I don't like the generalizations the author presents, it seems she dislikes everything non Japanese.
2
hatsoff
Sounds like the typical Japanese boss to me.
And this sounds like the typical Japanese employee to me.
Makoto, you make the Japanese workplace sound like a paradise of harmony. I wonder how much experience you really have of working in Japanese companies, and how much you really know about the psyche of the typical employee.
I don't think any employee likes being micro-managed, regardless of nationality. Same goes for contributing ideas - if it were acceptable. Japanese are very careful about contradicting their sempai.
Jack Welch, former CEO of G.E., encouraged his employees to provide input and good ideas regardless of their position in the company. He took over a company with revenues of $26.8 billion (1980) and built that up to $130 billion (2000). No sempai hierarchy there, but success aplenty.
Steve Jobs demanded that his employees react aggressively: "So when a good idea comes, you know, part of my job is to move it around, just see what different people think, get people talking about it, argue with people about it, get ideas moving among that group of 100 people..."
Apple now holds more cash than the US government.
So as for this:
Well, the boss expects employees to make an active contribution to the company. And that can be tremendously fulfilling for an employee, Japanese or American.
That's just a cultural difference. In the same way that I have a hard time understanding why Japanese don't demand better from their politicians or more strongly criticize corporate corruption and incompetence in the running of nuclear power plants.
Back to top