Exploring two cultures
The other day, I was looking at my 8-year-old son’s eyelashes. As you know, boys are often lucky to have beautiful eyelashes. His eyelashes are thick and long. I can say the thickness comes from my Japanese side and the length from my husband’s American side.
Looking at him, I think mixed kids are really unique. When my children are around other children in the U.S., they don’t look American (what I mean here is Caucasian). When they are around Japanese children, they don’t look anywhere close to them, either.
Because my children are not 100% Japanese, they will not be considered “Japanese.” They will be called “half.” I don’t mind it, though. If you know me from all my blogs, I accept things as they are most of the time, especially if I can’t change them. But in the U.S., my children ARE Americans. That is what the U.S. is about—a mix of many things.
As I live in the U.S. and blog about cultural differences, I have become more and more fascinated with the differences between Japan and the U.S. I consider the U.S. to be a country based on opportunities. On the other hand, Japan is a country based on culture and traditions.
People from many countries move to the U.S. to seek opportunities to be successful and to establish their life. I don’t think that’s the case with Japan. People move there because they married a Japanese, they fell in love with Japanese culture or traditions (such as martial arts, etc), or they were sent there by a company for a few years.
The author of “Unbowed,” Wangari Maathai, said, “The country (the U.S.) is an enormous juggernaut with many smaller systems in it, from the government to academic institutions to farming to transportation. In spite of everything that comes to rock that larger system, whether it be a hurricane, political controversy, or economic difficulty, the wheels of the juggernaut do not come off but, indeed, keep turning as if nothing else is happening.” I think she described the U.S. very well.
The U.S. is a gigantic country. If you don’t function well as a part of the American society, it can crush you. If you do well, you have endless opportunities. The huge gap among people is one of the things I have never seen in Japan. We have the poor and the rich. But the rich people in Japan don’t come anywhere close to the rich people in the U.S. CEOs and pro sports players get paid much higher in the U.S.
However, poor people in Japan are not as poor as the ones in the U.S. and Japan doesn’t have the number of impoverished that the U.S. does, either. To me, it was shocking to see this huge difference in the American society.
I have been in the U.S. for about 9 years now. I have lived in the east and the midwest. People are very different from the ones I saw in Hollywood movies. Having learned about the U.S., I have become more and more interested in the cultural differences. It is fascinating. I also enjoy picking those parts of U.S. culture that I like and adopting them and finding similarities in values between Japan and the U.S. at the same time.
I will keep exploring and blogging what I find. Thank you for following my blog in 2011 and I hope you have a wonderful 2012.
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0
southsakai
MAKOTO San, very nice post. Have a similar story. My little brother is actually mixed blood too. Our mother is of Indian roots and his father is Polynesian from Samoa. Indeed mixed kids are really unique in my opinion as well.
My Japanese wife tells me lot's of people here get offended when the term "half" is used to identify such kids. Well back where i come from in Fiji, everyone calls mixed blood kids and adults "half cast" and everyone is really cool with it, nothing offensive. My Wife said over here they prefer ti be called "double" I said okay :)
I'm really glad that you're having such a great experience with 2 different cultures in your life. I hope many good things to come your way.
I moved to Japan because i fell in LOVE. Long distance almost 13 years before finally coming over. Lot's of hurdles along the way, at times it felt like we wouldn't make it. Although i have now put myself in the most stressful financial state, I'm very glad to be right beside the one i love so dearly here in Japan :)
Happy New Year to you Makoto San!
5
zichi
Why stop at two?
4
gyouza
Pity - I thought she was going to say Sioux or Cherokee. Which ties in with another topic she touches on, the richness of the wealthy in the US. The rich are definitely richer, and you could actually argue that the poor are also much poorer as Makoto suggests. Although technically you shouldn't be able to go lower than 0, the sad fact is that many people (and this isn't just US, but most Western countries) have huge debt. Whilst those rich people are getting richer, the price is being paid at the other end. Japan isn't quite that bad yet, but will probably catch up.
As a father of children with both cultures to explore, I love to use the term one of my friends coined - she said 'my kids are not half, they are double' - perfect description! :)
0
anglootaku
Mako chan, I liked what you wrote, we are all human at the end of the day, regardless of race or how we look.. unless there is an alien race? ^_^
0
DenTok2009
When I lived in Japan during the 80's, I noticed some homeless men taking shelter in a cardboard box along a river. For all off the 90's and up to several months ago, I lived abroad. During the time I have been back, I've been through Mie, Osaka, Nagoya, Yamanashi, Nagano, Tokyo, Chiba and Gunma. I was shocked at the homeless population taking shelter in the train stations, parks, building entrances and along the river. Although I have friends who've visited Japan periodically and told me about the homeless camps I guess I never really believed it. What an eye opener. Compared to the 80's when one didn't notice them, one can't help but notice the homeless today. They are setting up everywhere and they aren't just old men. They range from young to middle aged men and women. I wonder how they are making it. In the states, there are various organizations helping to feed and shelter the homeless. You don't have to be Catholic to eat or sleep at a Catholic shelter. Some private individuals sometimes go around giving pb&j sandwiches and hot coffee or let it be known they will park at a certain spot on a certain day at a certain time and give away meals (then get in trouble with the health department for doing so). I don't know whether the local Buddhist temples or any other religious organization or whatever organization helping to feed or shelter the homeless. In the states, almost all the companies I worked for took up a cause (meals for battered women, coats for the homeless, canned goods for the homeless...). I think poor people in Japan are just as poor as in the U.S. but I'd rather be poor in the states than here.
5
NinjaDave
The usual rubbish about Japan being more equal re wealth. There was a time when that was true but it is bad in almost all nations now. I have neighbours who still do not have a flush toilet and cannot afford one here in Japan.
4
Akula
Not sure about this 'mixed kids are unique' thing. It's hardly unusual in this day and age that a child would be of mixed heritage, particularly in a place like the US.
3
JackieS
There are two half-Japanese women making a documentary about lives of 5 half Japanese families/individuals living in Japan. The information on their web site is intriguing. Please check it out at hafufilm.com.
I spent my childhood Hafu in Japan, finished growing up in the U.S. taking advantage of my White Priviledge, and currently live my life as all that I am, which is both Caucasian and Japanese. I don't choose one over the other any more. I am equally both. This isn't easy in either country but it's been the best way so far for my own sanity.
0
gyouza
Quite right - actually all kids are mixed - papa and mama
-1
It"S ME
Akula the same counts for most of the globe.
Many families marry across borders/cultures/religion/etc. I got long and thick eye-lashes that the girls at school always envied, bit don't recall any japanese in our family-tree which goes back 1800+Yrs.
Being "hafu" is nothing rare or extraordinary anymore and also happened often across the millenia(usually after wars, etc).
1
Blair Herron
I agree with you two using the word "hafu". "ハーフ" is not exactly "HALF"=1/2 in Japanese.
Makoto is contradicting herself.
0
Serrano
"boys are often lucky to have beautiful eyelashes"
So Makoto thinks only a few boys have beautiful eyelashes?
0
oginome
Are there really many more homeless in Japan today than in the 80s? What are the statistics? I read before that the homeless tended to congregate in the San'ya district up until the early 90s, at which point they were given carte blanche by the government to camp in other areas of the city.
1
gogogo
Yep the author is correct, Japan is not fully accepting of other races.
-1
DenTok2009
oginome, I don't know what the statistics are. I'm just saying that back in the 80's, I really had to think whether there were any homeless people in Japan. Back then I would have said nooooo, no homeless people then remembered spotting a cardboard box or two along a river somewhere. Now, I see homeless people setting up in train stations, around train stations, in parks, in front of business and residential buildings, along the river... I don't know where San'ya district is and I didn't know about the government giving the green light for the homeless to set up camp anywhere in the city.
1
borscht
In regards about Makoto saying the poor of Japan are better off than the poor in the US:
I have seen homes in Japan that if they were transplanted into the US would be considered slums, crack houses, or worse.
Like DenTok2009, I have noticed an increase in homeless people not only in the big cities but also wandering the countryside. In fact, years ago near my apartment a homeless guy camped out under a stairwell. One day he told us he was moving on because there were too many 'new homeless' he said. I don't need government statistics to lie about how many people are homeless.
-1
DenTok2009
By the way, I remember a co-worker who did her dissertation on the homeless. She told me the men she interviewed chose to be homeless. They didn't care to have a roof over their heads (cardboard box will do just fine) and didn't care to have a job. I've forgotten how they got money to eat or drink. I do remember my co-worker telling me they enjoyed their liquor so they must have some sort of income. She offered to treat them to a sento, laundromat and a meal but they declined. She said when they cleaned up they get sick! Their layers of grime apparently helped their immune system.
During the bubble era, there was plenty of work for both skilled/non-skilled and experienced/no experience applicants. Most Japanese people nowadays are homeless because they are out of a job. I caught a program a few months ago where a man in his 40's was let go and he was going for any job that was hiring. No one hired him. I don't think the problem was with him. When an employer has one or two openings and a flood of applicants apply, the lucky one or two individual is hired and the rest have to scramble to the next employer. Anyway, the reporter and cameraman followed him around. One of the things he did was to speak with a few homeless people who camped out at the park. He asked them how to do what they were doing. All of them (or perhaps some judicious editing) were kind enough to give him some advice. Invest in a sleeping bag. Collect cans for some money. I forgot what else.
1
Blair Herron
Just in case someone is intereted in governemtn statistics (certainly borshct is not), the number of homeless is decreasing. 25,296 (2002), 18,564 (2007), 16, 018 (2008), 15,759 (2009), 13,124 (2010), 10,890 (2011)
In 2011, men (10,209), women (315), gender unknown (366). (by visual inspection)
http://www2.ttcn.ne.jp/honkawa/2970.html
3
Uwe Paschen
Wile I do agree that mixing cultures and genetics can be a good thing in most cases and being mixed my self. Further, my children are even more mixed than I am leaving us being cosmopolites of sorts and cured of nationalistic ideal. However, as you say in your post that the Japanese poor are better off than the poor in the US cannot be true. It may appear as such because the Japanese poor are very quiet and never beg nor complain. They try to hide their social status and will even hide out of site of society, for they are ashamed and being shamed. I would say from my experience working with some aid organizations that the Japanese poor may be worth off than North american poor. In North America the Salvation Army and many other organizations are trying to help and do a great job for the most part. In Japan the indifference and lack of wide spread help centers makes it rather difficult to provide the help needed. Furthermore, In North America or Europe, donations are the norm and people are usually donating generously as well. Where as here is Japan, donations are not the norm and most funds to help Japans homeless and poor come from overseas. http://japanchiba.blogspot.com/2010/03/tokyos-greatest-shame.html The Japanese government is generous in aid money and programs for projects in developing nations such as Bangladesh or Tanzania. However, in Japan the Japanese government does shun the homeless and poor.
-1
fanofjapan2005
Here in the U.S., I think "half" could be kinda cool to use to describe mixes: from "Halfanese" for Nihonjin-Caucasian parentages' kids to "Halfrican-American" for President Obama. We've gotta have a sense of humor about these things. "Halfies" should be just as proud and accepted as "wholies." ;-)
0
oginome
The San'ya district is the biggest (maybe only?) slum in Tokyo.
So homelessness is less than half of what it was a decade ago. Thanks Blair.
1
zichi
In my own family there are nine nationalities and cultures. A sort of mini nations?
2
MaboDofuIsSpicy
Noby gets it.
We are all related. If we were not, we would not be able to have children together.
1
Johannes Weber
I guess it is part of the Japanese social construct of thinking strongly in terms of insiders in outsiders that people are fascinated by "halfs". In Europe nobody makes a big fuss about being half or quarter. Admittedly, I envy those with two or more native languages. Nevertheless, in a few countries like Belgium, Luxemburg or Switzerland, native fluency in multiple languages is the standard.
They call the Rhine river the melting pot of Europe. The Danube is a melting pot as well. And the Mediterannean Sea (at least in the past). Japan doesn't have such a melting pot. That is one of the main reasons why Japan is obsessed with origin and race.
Still they have Ainu, Koreans and Chinese living here for generations. Are their children (if mixed) called half as well? Or is this term reserved for children with obviously non-Japanese heritage?
I wonder if this doesn't hold true for Japan as well. Think of the returnees from abroad, who cannot fit in the usual Japanese lifestyle any more. Maybe it is not the poverty that crushes you in the end in Japan, but the total lack of social connectedness that you can easily find yourself in if you don't fit well with the general society.
I wonder about this point. Trading one national identity for another is mostly meaningless, if it doesn't happen by choice. Shouldn't Makotosan have realised that national identity is more or less irrelevant in a globalised world, where personal connections and networks - real or virtual - define our identities.
0
anglootaku
Considering being anglo saxon in anglo saxon countries are 'mixed' and not blue blooded may account for something.
0
anglootaku
Mixed as in British, Irish, Welsh, Scottish, German etc, being most of the 'mix' in most anglo saxons.
0
bicultural
Makoto, a quick question for you. Did you ever consider that your kids may encounter an identity crisis before you decided to have kids? Do you know that some "half" kids never seem to fit in anywhere? Sure, "half" kids are cute but I doubt parents think about the things that the kids will one day face, such as never really being accepted as an local in any country.
0
Julian Onyali
I'd be surprised to hear that mixed kids would have trouble fitting in the US (presuming they're in a somewhat diverse area anyway) or most western European nations. As has been stated, it's not a new thing in those places at all and no-one will really care.
Japan's issues in this regard have been widely discussed.
-4
Nicky Washida
I dont get this whole "double" thing. How can anyone be "double"? My kids are half Japanese and half "a mix of the british Isles". Whats the big deal? People who say their kids are double sound to me like they are saying their kids are schizophrenic!
I have also heard it said many times that half kids are looked down on in Japan. It was a big concern of mine too when we decided to have children. Well, someone SHOULD look down on my kids from time to time, it would do them good. They get treated like rock-stars at their schools and it is going right to their kawaii little heads! Maybe we have been lucky, or maybe it is just not the same outside the big cities, I dont know. But I have never really felt my kids have faced any discrimination at all. Quite the opposite in fact. They seem to be the "poster kids" for the schools.
I would say though, that you definitely see a LOT more mixed race and other race children outside Japan. We are far more used to it, and as long as whoever it happens to be can fit into the culture reasonably well, or at least be seen to be trying to, no one really has a problem (except certain jerks that you wouldnt want to know anyway). Not unlike Japan in fact...
-1
tmarie
Oh the usual us/them crap again. How on earth do you know what part od the eyelashes is American and what part is Japanese? And what exactly does "American" mean? You have gone on about your white husband. Perhaps you should look into HIS ethnic background and there is no ethnic "American" group.
0
gyouza
@Nicky
They don't bring half a culture to the equation they bring both - it is double. The schizophrenic reference is a bit unfortunate, but actually I do see many mixed culture people behaving differently depending on the surroundings they are in. It isn't limited to birth rights either, people who have been here a long time can do the somthing similar, that doen't mean they subtracted from their original culture though, just added!
@Johannes
I think that is what she is saying isn't it? The networks they have built up in their locale make them belong to that area, wherever that may be.
2
cleo
All kids are unique.
My experience is the same, and their kawaii little heads are not so little anymore. Our little rural town also has Philippino haafs, Chinese haafs and Taiwanese haafs who may not stand out as much as my UK haafs but who also do not seem to suffer from this so-called well-known ubiquitous looking-down on haafs that we are told goes on everywhere.
1
miyazawa3
That is really interesting... I have similar story , I don't know you believe or not......
I am from Japan ... my father from America and his father from Germany and mother from Korea , and my Great grand mother from India..and came to Germany married to German..man . and his great grand fathers from Yemen ... and and came to Germany. And Yemeni grand father's grand father from Africa .
that I was told ... by my father to best of his knowledge. (sorry for confusing you)
I have 5 kids, living Japan with me, It all can be seen looking at them,
they some , with strong structures, week structure , and brown eyes blue eyes ..and white skin yellow skin black skin brown skin..and long sharp nose pug nose... and straight hair curly hair... and intelligent stupid.. all with them . See how wonderful. ...? and also by looking at them , no body can say they are Mongoloids, (they are Japanese cultured , there are mother, my wife is Japanese) they are Caucasians they are blacks , they are white they are Indians .
They are not 100% Caucasians, no 100% Indians no 100% Mongoloids , no 100% Africans. They are Humans isn't It..?
-1
tmarie
I think it depends on the attitude of your kids to be honest. I have seen the rockstar half and the bullied half. I am always reminded of the program "ainori" when it comes to this. They had a half Italian/Japanese guy on it years ago. The girls when they first saw him thought he was a fullblood gaijin and were squealing like pigs on first sight! When he opened his mouth and spoke Japanese you could see the disappointment on their faces. They then ignored him when it was clear he was a gaming otaku and very "Japanese". He spoke about being treated differently in school - everyone expected him to speak English and always made fun of him for his bad marks - they didn't accept him as a full Japanese and he carried that with him. It was a really sad thing to watch these girls go crazy when they thought they had a gaijin and then ignore this guy when they realised he wasn't up to their expectations of what a gaijin/half should be. I think being half English speaking is one thing (you fit the stereotype) but being half something else is very different. The half Chinese, Korean, Thai and Filipino seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to it.
1
Piltdown Man
I always cringe just a little when I hear bicultural people referred to as haafu here in Japan. Even though I realize that in Japanese the word usually isn't meant to be derogatory, (in my opinion) it cuts too close to 'half-breed' which is without a doubt a racial slur.
-1
Nicky Washida
I can absolutely see that. I guess it entirely depends on which way you look at it. Mathematically speaking, I cant see how a whole can be 200%, but from a different perspective (such as the one you stated) it can be. I guess all I am saying is that I never get offended if my kids are referred to as "haafu" because I dont think the term is intended to be offensive or mean that they are anything "less" than a whole, whereas people who do get irritated and say "Actually my child is not half, they are double" seem to have a chip on their shoulders and be making something out of nothing, thereby creating an issue that for me isnt really there in the first place. In fact, as I said before, my kids seem to almost be treated like they are "superior" or something, and I dont honestly like it at times. It is like they are growing up with a sense of entitlement just because of their ancestry, and parenting that is a very difficult balance of building their self-esteem but not their egos!
I think circumstances have also made it easy for us. For example, my son has two kids in his class (American/Japanese and Australian/Japanese) who when they entered did not speak Japanese at all. The teacher was eternally grateful that my son was there to help them by translating for the teacher and telling them what to do. My daughter this year has also started proper English lessons at school, and suddenly everyone wants to be in her group in class because she can already easily get through the work that needs to be done. We have been through tough times though, with a previous kindergarten for example, although that was never an issue with my daughter but actually an issue with me (closed-minded Mums from a very traditional old neighbourhood not wanting a foreigner in upsetting things. Some of them had even been in that same kindergarten together years before!)
I do find though that once everyone "gets over" their initial haafuness, they seem to be treated just the same as any of the other kids. I sincerely hope they wont grow up to feel like they dont really truly belong anywhere, but quite honestly I have heard fully caucasian people say the same thing in the UK, and dont even get me started on the psychological issues of Japanese, so I think that sense of "not belonging" can happen anyway regardless of race.
On the eyelashes thing - yes, totally wasted on little boys! My son has the most gorgeous thick straight hair and beautiful long, thick eyelashes. There is no justice in this world!
1
gyouza
Agree 200%!! :)
I believe that as with most words, "haafu" is neither particularly parising nor derogatory, but it is HOW it is said, and the meaning the speaker attaches to it at that moment it is spoken.
-1
Nicky Washida
hee hee! Good one!
Absolutely. I get called a "blonde" a lot (for obvious reasons). This can be taken as a statement of fact, a compliment, or an insult depending on who is saying it, how they are saying it and why they are saying it.
Maybe I am deluding myself but I try to stay positive as far as it possible. If someone calls my child a haafu and they are smiling and looking pleasant, I assume it is a compliment. If someone calls my child a haafu and is looking mean or nasty, I assume it is jealousy or a bad upbringing and feel sorry for the person!
I can honestly say I cant think of a single time that the kids have ever really been subject to any nastiness because of their mixed race. Even the black van uyoku guys seem strangely pleasant and friendly on the rare occasion I talk to them! (I told the guy I totally understand their concern of foreigners taking over the country, we had the same problem in the UK, and I know I shouldnt be here according to their ideas, but I am terribly sorry, I just fell in love with a Japanese guy! Way to make friends with an entire troupe of fascists! ) I sincerely hope our run of good luck continues.
I am proud of my kids. They represent for me the complete opposite of racism (and I had a parent grow up in South Africa in the 50s and 60s so believe me, I know about prejudice.) It has been a massive eye opener here for me, becoming an "ethnic minority" myself and it has absolutely changed some of the misconceptions I had about anyone "different" from me. I will never forget being attacked on the street and whilst all the Japanese, caucasians etc walked past and ignored me, it was a huge African guy who came to my aid and made sure I was ok - the very same guy I used to think was "scary". My bad, definitely.
1
DS
Personally, I prefer the term "hybrid" for my son (Japanese/Canadian blend). He likes it, too. Sounds cool, strong, modern, that kind of thing. Hybrids are blends that become stronger than their original parts, so I like the image too.
I remember when he was in elementary school he loved to play the 'gaijin card' and get out of things he didn't like or didn't want to do... "sorry sensei, but we don't eat (insert nasty kyuushoku food here) at home, so..."
Sneaky kid. Wonder where he got that from?
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