Is Internet sex cheating?

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  • 0

    some14some

    There are precious few statistics available on adults and online relationships, partly because most research has focused on teenagers.

    It all depends on hormone levels - it is not cheating if the level is high it will sound real and fantastic !

  • 0

    Tamarama

    Just recently I know of two cases where 2 newly married couples have gone through versions of this very thing. In both cases it was the guys doing the 'cheating' and in both cases the women kicked them out of the house.

  • 0

    miamum

    Ooooh boy. I am REALLY looking forward to seeing how this thread turns out!

    Let me kick off by saying it happened to me (cheatee, not cheator), it was awful, we hadnt even been married a year, I was heavily pregnant with my first child, and alone in a foreign country - alone because I left. Couldnt even get a flight home as I was too far along!

    However - for anyone going through it now, let me also say that 7 years later (and a hell of a lot of ups and downs!) we are still together, and very very happy. If it is worth fighting for - definitely fight for it. If it isn`t, kick him to the kerb and move on, because in my experience this IS cheating.

    The biggest problem with this kind of thing, even if it is acceptable for you, is that eventually the texts or pics arent enough and the boundaries get pushed further and further until - oops - suddenly there are no boundaries left and youve become so desensitised over time, it doesn`t even feel like cheating anymore.

  • 0

    willynilly

    It depends on how you define the word "is". Is "is" being used as a copula?

  • 0

    Farmboy

    There is probably a fine line to distinguish what's cheating and what isn't, but sending crotch photos is pathetic enough for a spouse or partner to kick you out, even if it isn't labelled as cheating.

  • 0

    NetNinja

    Well, I can answer the question right now. It IS CHEATING!! You've heard of your carbon footprint, well imagine his digital footprint in your HOME, BEDROOM.

    It is the newest way for women to cheat. Especially with mobile phones, NOT PCs. Your PC isn't as aecure as your smartphone. Takes a bit more effort to hack a cell phone and track it.

    What does Internet cheating mean? It's disgusting if you think about it. You could be at dinner and she'd grab her phone and get another man's message. The most immoral ones will text him back right in front of you.

    Mobile phones are in the bedroom too. Imagine getting ready for a romp with your partner but she just got a text from her online man. What is she thinking about?

    If you're married, it's even more heinous. Her phone is in her bag cause that's always a girl's bag of secrets. It will ring while you are having dinner. She'll get up to go check it. I'd be irate: "Why don't you put your phone next to you at the table" "Turn on the webcam too!!" Would you like some mash potatoes?

    There is confusion on the definition of cheating. Some draw the line at dating, others who are usually guilty draw the line somewhere below the signature line on the divorce papers (I didn't cheat).

    It's flat out immoral. Cheating only means the two people didn't play by the rules. Gentlemen, women never discuss the rules cause in this country the rules are whatever the women feel hurt them.

    Nobody is ever going to discuss these so called RULES....so you better try to find a girl with a good family background and hopefully a proper education. Avoid Roppongi at all costs.

    One more thing: IF She has 2 phones, run away. That's a big time cheater. ONLY GIRLS (Cheating Girls) do that.!!

  • 0

    Frungy

    The "slippery slope" argument is ridiculous. Chatting online no more automatically leads to extra-marital affairs than seeing a pretty girl at the mall leads to guys rushing over to hump her leg. The old rule, "look but don't touch" still applies.

    There's a massive double-standard here, married women will dress up provocatively for a "girl's night out", flirt with men, and even chat them up, but will consider it fine provided that there's no physical contact. Why? Because it's a real ego-boost to have someone show interest in you, and to affirm that you're still desirable. And I have no problem with that.

    Where I do have a problem is where women apply a different standard to men. Women are allowed to dress up, flirt and chat, but the moment a man does the same thing some women react like he's already broken the rules. That's simply ridiculous and condescending, and is treating men like animals with no self-control.

    As far as I'm concerned if my wife started telling me I wasn't allowed to have female friends, wasn't allowed to chat to people online, and wasn't allowed to engage in some harmless flirting then that would pretty much be grounds for divorce in my book since my wife would have clearly indicated that she didn't trust me, didn't think I had any self-control or respect for her. Without mutual trust and respect you can't have any sort of partnership, whether it's in business or a marriage. People who treat their partners with disrespect and mistrust deserve to get cheated on because they actually dissolved the marriage long ago.

  • 0

    MrDog

    Is Internet sex cheating?

    Yes.

    I would like to ask anyone who says it isn't, if they'd be bothered if their wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend was sending pictures of themselves to other people and talking dirty to them?

  • 0

    tkoind2

    I sometimes wonder if it is the excessively possessive nature of relationships that deliver the extreme rates of divorce, infidelity and other relationship problems.

    In more liberal circles where people are little more free, I have seen far less divorce and infidelity. People do not treat each other as possessions which allows more latitude based upon the couple's mutual understanding.

    I think it is in male nature to flirt. And in female nature to do so as well, though perhaps less overtly. Maybe if people are allowed some degree of freedom, they can remain happy.

    The bottom line is simple. You cannot chain anyone to you. If that person will leave, jealousy or strict possessive behavior will not change that fact. If that person stays, it is out of love and devotion to you that, for some people, may mean tolerating the occassional flirtation.

  • 0

    miamum

    Frungy: I dont think anyone is saying you cant dress up, flirt and chat - women or men. I think the line is quite clear - would you do it in front of your partner? Dress up, flirt and chat - yes, absolutely. Would I be bothered if he does it - not at all.

    However, the whole point of this issue is that it is in secret. A separate "life" from your spouse. That is where I think people draw the line. If you wouldnt do it in front of yout spouse, you shouldnt be doing it at all.

  • 0

    Serrano

    "You'd be dead," she told him.

    Got damn!

  • 0

    miamum

    And in female nature to do so as well, though perhaps less overtly

    Really??! Wow. We don`t hang out in the same circles obviously! ;)

    I agree with you absolutely though. People are not possessions, and we had big problems in the early days of our relationship because my husband tried to treat me as such. These days we have the kind of relationship where he or I will come home and say "You`ll never guess! I think xxx was hitting one me tonight!!!" and we will discuss it, have a good laugh about it - and go to bed. Together.

  • 0

    miamum

    Serrano - I know! Little extreme, I think. I just threatened to cut his balls off with a spoon. He would live. ;)

  • 0

    tkoind2

    "Really??! Wow. We don`t hang out in the same circles obviously! ;)"

    I see taken female friends respond to flirting all the time. My guy friends don't often pick up on it, but growing up with mostly girls around I think I see it more than most guys.

    I know from chats about it that the ladies feel a little flirt is nice now and then. Makes them feel they are still attractive and desirable. But they would not cheat or get involved with another guy. I think the occassional attention is what they like, something I think is entirely ok.

    If you are secure with your love and relationship, then something this trivial is natural and non-threatening.

  • 0

    Serrano

    "cheating"

    Whatever happened to virtue?

    miamum - Got damn!

  • 0

    cleo

    It's like miamum said, if you wouldn't do it in front of your SO, you shouldn't be doing it at all. If you feel the need to have secrets, you should be rethinking your relationship.

    Maybe if people are allowed some degree of freedom, they can remain happy. The bottom line is simple. You cannot chain anyone to you.

    Or to put it another way, if you (feel you) cannot trust your partner unless he or she is chained to you, you gotta problem.

  • 0

    whiskeysour

    Yes it`s cheating !!!! Sexy time is good

  • 0

    gogogo

    American based article, most Americans want to have the cake and eat it too... total BS if you say "internet sex is not cheating"...

  • 0

    Kronos

    Cheating as in what?

    Remember that sex and love are completely different things. One can love someone with all one's heart but still be interested in other sexually.

  • 0

    USNinJapan2

    Yes. Period.

  • 0

    MrDog

    This isn't about being "chained" to someone, or treating them as a possession.

    It's about treating people with respect. Having "internet sex" with someone or sending pictures of yourself to some guy/girl to fap to is fine if you and your partner both agree that it's fine and don't get bothered by it. But doing it in secret and knowing that your partner would not like it, is cheating in my book.

    Remember that sex and love are completely different things. One can love someone with all one's heart but still be interested in other sexually.

    People who say stuff like this amaze me! They also go bat**** insane when they find our their partner is banging someone else too. Why are you in a relationship with someone if you don't respect them enough to be faithful?

    If you "love someone with all your heart", why would you lie to them, go behind their back, and do something that would hurt them?

    That's not love.

    It's wanting to have your cake and eat it.

    Just selfish and dis-respectful.

  • 0

    YongYang

    Yes. Period.

    Ughh.

  • 0

    NetNinja

    @Frungy

    You have some good points that I agree with, mutual trust and honesty.

    Hoever you're naive if you think it won't develop beyond chat. You see Frungy, we are pretty much one trick ponies.
    Eddie Murphy said it best - Women have some male friends that are like fire extinguishers - in case of emergency give him a call.

    London Boots (Japanese comedy duo Atsushi and Ryo) had a segment on their show called "The Stinger". Just one instance a man cancelled on his girl, claiming he had to work. They sent in some good looking guy who took her out to dinner and brought her back to a private room. Busted everytime.

    Fact, women speak 3 times more than men in a single day even if they aren't actually speaking. They go to their phones and starting texting back and forth. Talking to other men on the Internet just caters to their egos. We have to be twice as poetic and persuasive to arouse through chat and text messages.

    Only the fool thinks his woman wears a superhero cape. She has chinks in her armor and the Internet is Kryptonite to a relationship that is already slightly dysfunctional. Who is she talking to? Why the need for a private second life when you married to share your lives together?

    Social Networking = Kryptonite Facebook means Face to Face real soon without you knowing. It's too easy to hide it. That's why they do it.

  • 0

    LuckyLangers

    Using the Spitzer example in the text, and the possibility of sexting ruining a relationship, it needs to be considered, purchasing or leasing - which is better?

    I'd like to help you decide by illustrating two charming stories of foolish men, including Spitzer, and cunning women.

    Purchasing: The maths on the Paul McCartney - Heather Mills divorce was as follows: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he had sex with her every night during their 5 year relationship it ended up with him purchasing her @ $26,849 per time.

    Leasing: On the other hand, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's favourite hooker, Kristen, charged $4,000 per night.

    So, had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for 5 years @ $4,000 per night, he would have paid only $7.3 million in total for sex every night. This represents a $41..7 million saving for Eliot. What a shrewd man Eliot is, compared to the ageing Beatle. Further valuable benefits of this Leasing option are; * a (real) 22 year old * no need for coaxing / pleading / begging * never a headache * happily agrees to all technical requests * no complaining * no Honey - please do this lists * has two legs

    Best of all, she leaves and returns when asked. All at 1/7th the cost and no legal fees. Sometimes Leasing just makes more sense.

    THE OLD ADAGE STILL HOLDS TRUE.....IF IT FLYS, F#CKS, OR FLOATS.............RENT IT! Sexting and infidelity implications are then out the window?

  • 0

    Kronos

    People who say stuff like this amaze me! They also go bat**** insane when they find our their partner is banging someone else too.

    I would not. I also know some others who would not as well.

    People might believe in different things MrDog. What you believe as cheating may not be so to others.

  • 0

    Kronos

    There is no one-size-fits-all truth mate. The fact that we pretend there is one is causing all this mess.

    I highly doubt marriage is for mankind also.

    Want to buy an edit button in these forums :-(

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    Flirting is good in my book. Makes the one you love much more fun afterwards in bed because you can act out in reality some of the fantasies you were having with the chatter in the chat room.

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    Americans are too hung up with religions and silly laws.

  • 0

    MrDog

    @kronos

    I would not. I also know some others who would not as well. People might believe in different things MrDog. What you believe as cheating may not be so to others.

    So, you'd be completely fine with your girlfriend/boyfriend sending naked pictures of themselves to someone else and maybe meeting up with them for some fun? If you are, then fine, if you're not, then you're a hypocrite.

  • 0

    NetNinja

    This post hopefully JT will consider as a poll question.

    If a woman wants to go crazy meeting guys on the Internet I'm all cool with it so long as it's not under my roof. I don't want that madness in my place. I kicked the last J-girl I was with to the curb for doing that it in my place.

    My question is (might be a good poll question) in order to discover such infidelity is it OK to WebWatch your network and all digital signals incoming and outgoing?

    Personally, I won't lie, I can monitor all net activity and mobile phone activity too. Yes, ladies beware, such men like me exist. That GPS chip in your phone is not your friend. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

    Those of you who don't know if she's cheating on you is cause maybe you don't know how to track them. The question is will the law allow you to catch such cheaters and get them out of your life.

    I believe the answer is NO. I got a boat load of my last monster's emails and all the plans they were making with each other and when I was in court the judge refused to look at it.

    Here in Japan you could catch these cheating monsters, have them down cold, and a judge won't even recognize it. ON the other hand, if men do it, without any evidence, based on her word alone, you will end up paying big time alimony.

    If she cheats on the Internet consider that a good thing. It's easy to find the digital trail.

  • 0

    Gurukun

    what if I have a nice big wank later (making use of a certain website I like) - is that cheating?

    LOL!! That was funny!

  • 0

    Shaolin7

    If you already participate in activity like this, then it's not too far a leap in logic to assume there's greater potential for it to happen in real life. I'm with the 'prudes' on this one -- if you love her, why would you ever engage in this stuff and hurt her so? Naturally that goes for the girls doing this to the guys as well. How would it feel if your partner did this to you?

    The important question is why are people even together then, if they simply want to play around. Why waste one another's time? It is hard enough trying to find kind, honest, decent people to date. If you want to play the field, play the field. A committment is exactly that.

  • 0

    YongYang

    How about those who are in open relationships? Everything above board,in the open and safe. Healthy approach for sure.

  • 0

    Virtuoso

    For lots of people who troll in chatrooms, I'd imagine cybersex is the only sex they get. That's why the Internet is so popular. While one can't contract a social disease from it, cyberstalking and cyber blackmail can get you in even more trouble than in real life.

  • 0

    Blacklabel

    Next thing you know men are gonna let a bunch of women tell them that jerking off is "cheating".

    "Online flirtation is infidelity, because thoughts are acts!” Say whaaaaaaat? So now if I THINK about something I am guilty of doing it? Any man that puts up with that type of crap thinking might as well turn in his balls at the door when he goes out to his 16 hour a day job, he's done.

  • 0

    LFRAgain

    The profound emotional insecurity it requires to make some of the more outrageous blanket black and white statements on this thread suggest far greater problems with some people's personal relationships than just online flirting.

  • 0

    rabnif

    Big difference between flirting and chatting and sending photos of your todger!!

  • 0

    MrDog

    I think that internet sex is cheating, but this mouthbreather is an idiot:

    “Online flirtation is infidelity, because thoughts are acts!”

    No, dear, thoughts are thoughts. If thoughts were acts, there'd be millions of people in jail, or executed, for murder.

    As for her own views, Dupuis, who is not married, is clear:

    "Not married", what a surprise! Probably one of those "I don't need a man! I'm not married because all men are cheating pigs!" pathetic losers.

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    I keep coming back and reading the comments as it is really a funny topic. Remember Jimmy Carter's words? ... he had evil thoughts because lust was in his mind.

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    Some people do stupid things on their live cams and others record them and send them to slut sites.

  • 0

    Iwitness

    First of all, there is no such thing as internet sex. Its like phone sex; a big misonmer. You can't have sex over the phone or over the internet. Right.

    So it seems we have a lot of males saying its not cheating and a lot of females demanding that it is. Not really a surprise. Men are so often trying to control others physically and women trying to control others mentally. Thing is, where men have learned about consent to physical control, women think thought policing without consent is A-OK. Well, its not.

    Its not cheating unless you think the attempt to control people's thoughts are okay. And if you do, then women's dramas, where you know they fantasize about other men, is also cheating. The whole concept is a train that heads straight to Crazyville, a place where too many American's reside already.

    It's like miamum said, if you wouldn't do it in front of your SO, you shouldn't be doing it at all. If you feel the need to have secrets, you should be rethinking your relationship.

    I don't pick my nose in front of wife either. I don't poop or pee in her presence. I hide it. I try not to fart around her. I don't look at porn when she is around. I also don't stroke it in front of her. Does that make me a cheater? Have I violated her trust?

    I would say that anyone who needs to exercise that level of control over their partner is the one who should be rethinking the relationship. I suggest buying a dog instead.

    Fact is that most people have a completely ramshamble foundation about all things relationship and sexual. Therefore, when you get to deeper thoughts like this, its no surprise you get a hodge-podge mix of loony views. If you are not in league with blacklabel, tkoind2 and frungy, then you are messed up. Seriously.

  • 0

    MrDog

    I would say that anyone who needs to exercise that level of control over their partner is the one who should be rethinking the relationship. I suggest buying a dog instead.

    It's not about control. People who want to control their partner have other problems. This is about having respect for someone.

    As I said earlier in this section:

    So, you'd be completely fine with your girlfriend/boyfriend sending naked pictures of themselves to someone else and maybe meeting up with them for some fun? If you are, then fine, if you're not, then you're a hypocrite.

    If my girlfriend did that, that would be it. I'd expect the same treatment if I did it. I respect my girlfriend, so I don't do stuff like that. But, if it floats your boat and your partners boat, then fine.

    Respect for each other, not control over each other.

  • 0

    Iwitness

    This is about having respect for someone.

    One sided respect is not worth a hill of beans.

    If my girlfriend did that, that would be it.

    I think you need to get your priorities straight. You have made a hard and fast decision to end a relationship and made no room for discussion or compromise or forgiveness, all just because of a sex thing.

    The last time I got cheated on the relationship ended because she failed her second chance and kept seeing the guy. But the main problem I had with him is that I felt his intention was to steal her, not just have some fun. I knew the guy and he was one of those romantic softies. They are married now, so I am glad I got out. But it would have been okay if he was just enjoying the ride or she stopped seeing him. There really are greater causes for concern in this world if you have the ability to see this all logically.

  • 0

    himehentai

    I've not read the above comments, but I cant help but feel that its kind of worse than "regular" cheating.

    The problem with the internet is, that it has the power to hide your flaws. The person you are speaking to only sees what you want them to. Its very easy to become attached to the "image" of someone else, if you are in a boring and sexless marriage.

    That is far scarier than my other half having meaningless sex with someone whose good, and bad points, warts and wobbly bits you can see.

    Its the whole physical affair VS emotional affair thing again. Personally (I don't want to ever be in this situation by the way) your guy or girl having meaningless sex is probably far easier to deal with (if you want to stay in the relationship) than forming an emotional attachment to someone else, which is possibly not even at the sex stage, but an awful lot harder to break off when it is formed.

    Just my 2¥ and opinion of course, but yes. Internet sex is cheating.

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    Iwitness said it all. I agree. hahahaha

  • 0

    MrDog

    One sided respect is not worth a hill of beans.

    I never said anything about "one sided respect". I was talking about mutual respect. I assume you just skimmed over this? I said:

    Respect for each other, not control over each other.

    ...

    You have made a hard and fast decision to end a relationship and made no room for discussion or compromise or forgiveness, all just because of a sex thing.

    I would make the decision to end a relationship with someone who has no respect for me. I would expect the same treatment. Why be with someone if they want to have sex with someone else? I would disgust me.

    The last time I got cheated on the relationship ended because she failed her second chance and kept seeing the guy.

    You're obviously a better person than me, because I would give no second chance.

    But it would have been okay if he was just enjoying the ride or she stopped seeing him.

    Wow. You don't mind that your gf was being banged by someone else?!?! I could never think that about someone I was involved with.

    I'm not saying you're wrong and I'm right, but wow, that just amazes me!

    no room for discussion or compromise or forgiveness, all just because of a sex thing.

    Yeah. I don't know your opinions on sex, but to me it's very important and intimate thing. My gf thinks the same. That's why there is "no room for discussion or compromise or forgiveness".

    If you get betrayed, it's the end.

    Again, I know there's no right or wrong on this, everyone has their own opinion. So:

    I think you need to get your priorities straight.

    Is an asinine statement.

  • 0

    NetNinja

    @Iwitness

    But it would have been okay if he was just enjoying the ride or she stopped seeing him.

    Really? You're cool with that? This is the Internet. Next time you hook up with a girl call me. Can I bring my homies too? Brothers, BIG WELL-ENDOWED friends. After all, it's just a ride right We'll definitely stop seeing her after it's over.

    Listen, sex is very important. It is the most intimate connection we humans can currently achieve. Next is the spirit world hopefully. NONE of you want your partner hooking things up ANYWHERE!! You need your head examined if you don't think Internet sex is something foul.

    I dump BEFORE it happens.

  • 0

    MrDog

    @NetNinja

    I'm with you on that... well, not the first bit, but the rest ;)

  • 0

    CruzControl

    I have been married a long time and the simple rule is she does not chat/flirt with any man on or offline. I am just suprised that this is even a serious question for some people.

  • 0

    cleo

    the simple rule is she does not chat/flirt

    Don't you mean we do not flirt? Or is the rule only for her?

  • 0

    NetNinja

    @Cleo

    I've read all your posts. You're so sweet. Of course, we mean WE. Just please understand that when I'm using my Iphone I'm using some sort of game application. When girls are using their Iphones they are PLAYING GAMES with other boys.

    Some girls are so good at MULTITASKING / Cheating that they have 2 mobile phones. You know what I'm talking about. YOu've seen this on the train. She's not in those fishnets for an insurance seminar.

  • 1

    cleo

    When girls are using their Iphones they are PLAYING GAMES with other boys.

    I'm so glad you don't go in for stereotypes and gross generalizations. :-)

  • 0

    NetNinja

    Okay, Cleo you got me. I know it's not fair. Not everyone is doing it. It's just when I see those fishnets and clear heels on the train with a truck load of make up on their faces I can only imagine they're out for one thing. Something very disgusting about having 2 mobile phones.

    I once had the opportunity to see some cheating in action. I was at a parking lot and of course walking to my car I saw a woman sitting in her car. In her O.L uniform texting away around 3pm. Why was she just sitting in her car. I saw her fiddling with her ring finger, obviously removing her ring. Next thing ya know some guy drives up in a 4WD as I was pulling out.

    She furtively scurried to the passenger side and then starting ducking. They were going up the road just as I was. There was a love hotel up on the left and sure enough they pulled right in.

    So you see, from digital to ANALog, that's how it goes down.

  • 1

    cleo

    when I see those fishnets and clear heels on the train with a truck load of make up on their faces I can only imagine they're out for one thing.

    Couldn't agree more - and some of the girls are just as bad. :-)

    Something very disgusting about having 2 mobile phones.

    Mmm. Depends. when he was at university my son had 3 mobile phones; one with internet access, bells and whistles, paid for by his parents; another very basic one with another company that he got specifically to enjoy free calls to his girlfriend who used the same provider, thus keeping our bills to a minimum; and a third, pay-as-you-go one for use when he was overseas and his Japanese phones were useless. All perfectly innocent and above board. People have more than one phone for a variety of reasons.

  • 0

    azninvasion

    What do people get out of internet sex? A: Heres a picture of my schlong B: Yay. And heres a picture of my tatas A: That was some rough sex we had

    I cant even conceive how that would be anything more but a digital exchange or images and how that would be gratifying by any stretch of the imagination.

    That said, I simply think that anything sexual, or insinuating sexual activity without the consent of ones significant other is cheating. So yes, its cheating in this case.

  • 0

    CruzControl

    Don't you mean we do not flirt? Or is the rule only for her?

    I hold on to her, she holds on to me and we both hold on to our children. Call me old fashioned but it works for me.

  • 0

    aedfed

    A scenario they didn't mention, but which blurs the lines even more is the case of virtual worlds such as Second Life. If your avatar does something you wouldn't do with another avatar, is that the same as cheating?

    Another way of looking at it might be the same as the discussion that goes on about how much of a book's characters actually reflect the opinion of the author.

  • 0

    Brunobear

    Sadly, the price of a solid long term marital relationship so often means the horny sex that makes your loins ache for the next encounter, and generates a feeling of overwhelming wellbeing, is subjugated to other needs for the wider good of an immediate or extended family. Over time, the psychological baggage from the difficulties of an active family and business life, becomes a blocker to freewheeling spontaneous sexual thought and when one's head hits the pillow, its, "I just want to sleep".

    Flirting is danger, as many receivers may see signals as something greater than is being offered. It is especially dangerous for the flirtor who has accumulated relatively significant wealth, status and income compared to the flirtee, maybe someone that nature has created as attractive but without means, so is desperate for financial, social and emotional security.

    How many guys find there wives totally uninterested in sex, once she has had the number of children she wants, a home and a good living income, which she knows she can still have if she divorces him. She as many do, picture themselves sleeping in or sitting around in a dressing gown all day, watching TV or reading, with the disposed of hubby, out on the street but working hard to keep her and the offspring. She knows the law will ensure she can live in a new smaller dwelling from 70% of the equity in their former family home. She will start planning the divorce 2 years before he finds out, she plans to end the marraige. At the same time she would be ropeable if he sought sex from someone else, before of after even the marraige ends. If you are in business mixing with a lot of middle aged people, you see this occuring time and time again to guys that are faithful but work really hard to give those in their little nest the best standard of income possible. So they look at pornos occassionaly for some stimulation, which invariably sparks nothing, or visit a strip club with their mates.

    That is not to say that you don't also see an occasional guy who makes the bad mistake of and abandoning their family, and running off with their secretary. A relationship that rarely lasts - as sex is not nearly enough for 24 hour compatability. Most guys shagging their secretaries on the side, are doing it for the heck of it and ego, and have absolutely no interest in abandoning their wife (who they love deeply) and family and would be shattered if she ever foubnd out. But she will because the secretary will eventually convey hints to her, the competitor, if given the chance.

    For a lot of marraiges the wife might put out dutifully but lifelessly, and without the power of a creative mind to fantasize, the guy might get lttle of no pleasure at all from encounters at all. A lot of women don't realize either that "cute" and femininity doesn't last much past your forties, and for some a lot earlier. A lot of women become more blokey or male like, as the age and their body and looks change shape.

    Some women are agreeable to the husband going to a prostitute, but never to an affair, because of the inevitable risk of emotional attachment by the woman involved. While some women will matronly sound off to their spouse as a "sleaze" if he dares to buy and look or read pornography. It is rare to come across a married women who actively seeks sex from her spouse after their 40's or will do anyhting whatsoever to spice up sex in the marraige.

    If you could furtively flirt on the internet and get a cheap sexual thrill without inflicting any harm on anyone else, why not!

    But for many people reality is they will be overwhelmned by guilt or fear the spouse will find out; and the embarrassment and consequences they might suffer as a result. So they stay right out of it and not take the risk of some short term or instant pleasure or kicks, for the long term pain it is goes wrong. Guys don't go into main street sex shops because they are uninterested, it is because they fear the mocking if a bus load of mates going past and seeing them as they walk out. It is called self-harm!

    So if you would not like your spouse doing internet sex, don't do it yourself! Or as the basic tenet the Bible is all about: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you!"

  • 0

    hurryharry1

    Yes, it is even if the act is not consummated...intention, baby....intention...

  • -1

    Iwitness

    Really? You're cool with that? This is the Internet. Next time you hook up with a girl call me. Can I bring my homies too? Brothers, BIG WELL-ENDOWED friends. After all, it's just a ride right We'll definitely stop seeing her after it's over.

    You would do better to assume I am moderate about all things, because I am. Just because I am less constrained than you does not mean I have no constraints.

    Another key flaw in your proposal is that you ask my permission, but completely over-look hers. No woman is my property to control from having other men nor into having other men. I do however have rules required to be followed if a woman is dating with me. Other men can be tolerated so long as I am satisfied about certain things, and no, a gang of your homies sounds quite beyond my limits. It sounds risky and bound to get out of control. A double dating situation can be controlled however. In no way does 2 equal 5.

  • 0

    ihavegreatlegs

    I am living with the guy I met on Tokyo connections. The flirting was great, and now it is even better.

  • 0

    Sawada2

    yes and its disgusting, either married or not I "ME" believe its wrong.

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