What I wish for my children
The first thing my youngest child says when she wakes up in the morning is “mama.” My children want to sleep with me whenever my husband is absent. My son gives me sweet words and he wants to take care of me and the family. Yes, they fight and they yell at each other, too. But that’s what children do. I love whenever I hear them talking in the backseat of my car while I am driving. Especially now we listen to Christmas songs, and I enjoy hearing them singing along with Mariah Carey’s CD.
Whoever thought I would have English-speaking children? When I was little, I thought I would get married one day, of course, but I didn’t know I would have children speaking in English. Sometimes I want to pinch myself: “Is this a dream?” If it’s a dream, I don’t want to wake up.
I have no specific desire on what they want to be in the future. I mean, I don’t care if they want to be either American, Japanese, German (my husband is of German descent) or whatever, as long as they are happy. And they have a choice living in the U.S. If we lived in Japan and they didn’t want to be Japanese, it would be a bit difficult. That’s why I chose to build my family in the U.S.
When my son was smaller, he didn’t want to admit that he was half-Japanese. When I asked him if he wanted to take karate lessons, he said, “No! I am not a Japanese!” It was fine with me. Children can be funny sometimes and sensitive to interesting things. So I thought, “Okay, no rush. He can be whatever he wants to be.”
As time goes by, he has started showing more interest in his Japanese side, too. He wants to talk with my parents in Japanese whenever we communicate with them via Skype. He loves to take Japanese snacks which he gets from my parents to school. It’s neat to see that.
My girls are less sensitive and it seems they like to be different. So they like to say they are half-Japanese. My 6-year-old daughter is determined to study Japanese on her own with the Japanese toy that she can learn Japanese from. She writes kana on a piece of paper and brings it to me.
I enjoy seeing both Japanese and American traits in my children. It’s such a blessing that they can benefit from both cultures. So I will leave it up to them to decide what they want to be. As long as they are happy and proud of their choice, it will make me happy.
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24 Comments
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1
NetNinja
Makoto, lovely article. Happy to read it especially around Christmas time.
Dual nationality is a complicated matter. The U.S is more open than Japan. In the U.S, your children are allowed to maintain dual-nationality. Is that correct anymore?
In Japan, as I understand it, they are FORCED to make a choice. A cruel decision to make. Japan always has it's way and in most international divorces the children are given to the Japanese mother. They make sure those children learn Japanese and Japanese only. English education in Japanese schools is unsound and those teachers are not qualified to teach it. Nor are the books and materials provided by the Ministry of Education.
Keeping your children in the U.S will help them develop their English properly. They should also constantly pursue their Japanese ability. America will always be more accepting. The children should never have to choose. They are who they are.
Well Makoto, thanks for all the articles you wrote this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family. Enjoy every minute of it.
-1
Utrack
Nice article
-1
oginome
That was a really sweet article.
-1
It"S ME
Nice article.
My son is also concerned about having to make the decision when he turns 20.
Told him it don't matter he can take his overseas citizenship and still live in Japan or vice-versa or take either and live anywhere else in the world as his parents did. Or he can move to another country and take out citizenship there. My family did all of those things over the ages. It is his live and his decisions no-one in my family will say anything, regardless what creed, wife, etc he chooses.
The passport is just so much paper and don't define you, yeah, citizenship helps in some circumstances but in the end and long run it is not limiting yourself to anything.
People place too many restrictions on themselves & Families and thus hurt and limit their futures.
-6
LoveNot
What exactly is an American culture? Is there such a thing? Whatever it is, if I have a child, I do not want it to have something either from American or Japanese cultures. Too disappointed in these, My kid will be European. hahahaha I have high ambitions.
0
gogogo
While I love kids myself, regarding this article, what is the answer? You never answered it, infact you never used the word "wish" in the article.
0
MaboDofuIsSpicy
Um kids. You can keep both passports. All my kids have and friends too.
3
cleo
When you next renew your Japanese passport you will be asked on the application form to state whether you hold the nationality of any other country, and if so, to name the country. Tick the いいえbox and you lay yourself open to charges of obtaining a passport under false pretenses. (Up to 5 years imprisonment, up to 3 million yen fine. And your passport becomes invalid)
http://www.seikatubunka.metro.tokyo.jp/issuance/index.html
1
MaboDofuIsSpicy
Not a problem. You check no. They never ever check. If they did, they could nail thousands of people at customs coming in to Japan and leaving.
The only people that check are the airline check in people as they want to make sure you can land at the other end.
Japanese customs do not ask where you were or how you got there. They just want to make sure your bags do not have junk in it illegal.
Same when entering America.
Moderator
Back on topic please.
1
theturnkey
So, is this a "new" application process or has this been the Japanese process since before you even cared or thought about it? I assume coz you use the words "next renew" it means it hasn't always been that way and has recently changed; otherwise you'd've said simply when you renew.
2
cleo
If you'd bothered looking at the link and if you read Japanese (which you'd have to do to fill in the form anyway) you'd have seen it's the form that's been in use since June 2009. It came to my attention when my son recently renewed his Japanese passport.
2
theturnkey
Thanks for taking the time to answer my simple question. Sorry to have "bothered" you. I figured it must have been a recent change in policy.
0
LH10
What I wish for my children...is to be stress free and have fun in life. if u don't wanna go to uni go ahead don't go, wanna travel by yourself go ahead, wanna drink go ahead, no rules just a plain fun life
1
LoveNot
Is this some kind of miracle? I know it is normal that by the age of 7 children speak 2 or 3 languages...
Why? I live in Japan without being japanese, what is so terrible? Be more specific. do you mean that life of non Japanese in Japan is difficult and you do not wish it for your kids?
whatever.
-1
Yardley
@gogogo
I think it is simple. She wishes them happiness and freedom. She wants them to be happy and have the freedom to choose what they want to be and do in life. She doesn't have to use the word "wish" for this to be clear.
0
LoveNot
That was just brilliant. I do not know a normal parent that will wish the opposite.
1
JapanGal
Interesting Cleo. I will inform my friends.
4
FightingViking
Growing up as a "bi-cultural" child in Japan can be a very difficult experience - to say the least. America, on the other hand, (if I remember rightly) has been known, for a pretty long time, as the "Big Melting Pot" - a "Real American" being from one of the several Red-Indian tribes (that are now "put out to pasture on special 'reservations' ").
In the "United States of Europe", any "bi-tri-cultural differences" seem to "blend in" a little easier than in Japan although, possibly because of their "insular" situation, the British Isles can sometimes be a little "discriminating" (you may "thumb me down to your hearts content - I'm speaking entirely from personal experience...).
It may not have been the "only" reason at the time but the "main" reason I stayed in Japan with our younger son after our divorce, was so that his older brother would be able to find us easier than if we had gone back to Europe. The two or three times we DID get to see him were, unfortunately, rather "regrettable"... We have no idea where he is now. After the death of his father, his (Japanese) step-mother told him to "get out of his father's house" because SHE wanted to live there. We haven't either seen or heard from him since...
Sorry if I've "ruffled any feathers" with my remarks - to each "his-her" own opinions/experiences. I certainly do NOT regret having stayed on in Japan (European "negi-toro" just ain't the same as in Japan...!) and I get to live in two different worlds - now in fact, visitng my younger son in France.
Merry Christmas to you all !
0
mrkobayashi
I am a "Euroasian" or so-called "half" in Japan. English is my first language but due to Asian genes being dominant I look more Asian than I do Caucasian. In the US I was always the cool Asian guy that could speak English really well. Sure, I had many friends but I was always looked at as an Asian, not as an American. Now I live and work in Japan. I can blend in pretty well due to my appearances and because I can speak Japanese quite well now. When people know my background they think it's cool and envy me for my language abilities and long legs. In Japan I feel like I can be a local when I want to and a foreigner when I want to. Just my experience. A word to Makoto : If your kids grow up in America, don't expect them to ever be Japanese. If they live in Japan and America, expect them to develop their own, unique culture, making them a TCK (third culture kid). Just know that if they develop into TCKs they will never truly feel at home anywhere or with anyone except other TCKs.
-1
Sasoriza
Makoto, I'm sorry to say this , but the US is not a good place to raise bilingual/bicultural, especially Asian, kids either: http://news.yahoo.com/8-us-soldiers-charged-death-bullied-comrade-223627267.html
-2
CVHuan
Makoto, I think you should study the level of crime and economic stability in the U.S. a little bit more. A lot of Americans are not better off besides the top 1%.
-5
LH10
amerika sux! LONG LIVE JAPAN! (btw makoto i'm a big fan of yours >_^)
-2
BurakuminDes
Are you the elusive and rare Asian Charisma-Man?
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