Bill to allow married couples to keep separate names submitted

Saturday 25th April, 06:47 AM JST

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zaichik at 08:31 AM JST - 26th April

I don't know, however, how it works out when a foreign woman marries a Japanese man, sorry.

One isn't obliged to take the husband's surname in that situation - in fact, you can't get registered with the Japanese surname until you've changed your name on your passport. When I married a Japanese guy, I took his surname (makes ordering taxis so much easier if you have a Japanese name!) and when we divorced, I took my stepfather's surname. Should I marry again, I have no intention of taking my husband's surname, for the simple reason that I'm too lazy to go through the rigmarole of changing passport, bank accounts, driving licence, utility registrations, etc. etc. etc. yet again. I'm also quite happy that I finally have a surname that people can spell without my having to spell it out to them....
grafton at 08:47 AM JST - 26th April

Kawasaki at 05:53 AM JST - 26th April

There are other & better ways of doing this, like Spanishwoman I have a double Spanish name & in a Spanish/Latin country what would happen is that my wife & I would keep our names without change, our children would take the first name from each of our names. Example, Mr. A B marries Miss C D, they keep their names, their children will have the name A C. It is still a paternal system in that the male name is always the first of the two. As a system I rather like it because it allows the wife to retain her identity & also passes on her fathers name to the children, not just the husbands fathers name. My brother in law (Jp) & sister in law (also Jp) decided to use her family name because it is really very special & they wanted to keep that family name alive. That to me makes sense in that they looked at their family name & thought about it rather than just being told that this is how it should be done. Really it should be choice because for some a mane is important. But really think about it, what if your name was one of those mass names Martinez, Fernandez, Smith or Jones? What importance could anybody attach to keeping such names?

PS Spanishwoman, just in case you happen to be a Martinez or Fernandez, sorry.
goodDonkey at 08:43 PM JST - 26th April

I do not oppose women who want to change their name. If they feel comfortable I would be very supportive in my opinions regarding their choice. It is analogous to my feelings on a stay at home mom. I am a very strong supporter of equal pay to women for doing the same job. I am a very strong supporter of equal opportunity for women and zero discrimination. But if a woman wants to be a "stay at home" mom I think that is great. I just want that to be her choice.

I support the law because it allows choice. It appears to me it does not force anyone to do something they are unwilling to do.

It is my opinion that it is control freaks who oppose this measure; wanting to force others to bend to their will by forcing women to make some kind of name change. Their petty lives won't allow them to stop trying to control other people's lives.
cleo at 09:08 PM JST - 26th April

While it usually is the case that the wife takes her husband's name, that isn't necessarily the case. Especially if the wife is an only daughter or one of a family of sisters, it's not at all unusual in Japan for the husband to take her name in order to preserve the wife's family name.

The law as it stands at present is that both partners have to have the same name; they can choose whether to have His or Hers. The new law will allow them each to keep their own name if they want.
Azrael at 01:59 AM JST - 27th April

In Latin America (where I come from), it is still the norm that the woman takes her husband's name. However, some women prefer to keep their own surname. I am not married, but I would take my husband's name for social purposes and keep my maiden name for work purposes. After all, the name in my diplomas is my maiden name. It makes more sense and it's practical for professional women to keep their own name rather than informing all your clients, contacts and colleagues you are changing your name. Besides (at least in Latin America) the husband's name does not obliterate yours, but is added at the end of it. Then the children's surname is both their parents surnames, with the father's first. This makes easier to track genealogical records and such.

Well, it's called "family tree."

Japanese people who have asked me about this are constantly amazed by it for some reason. My friend commented she could not trace her mother's side of the family because the women literally are absorbed into the husband's family (metaphorically speaking). In feudal times this was one of the reasons why a young wife needed to bear children in order to establish themselves in the household's hierarchy. Now it is different, of course; but in Latin America (this is one of the social reasons I meant above) if your mother doesn't have your father's name it is shameful. People can be all open-minded they want, but this is a cultural fact in Latin America. Knowing who your father is and bearing his name is important, and so it is that your mother has your father's name. I think in Japan it is equally important in a similar cultural sense.
nedinjapan at 12:22 PM JST - 27th April

It is good that Japanese are allowed to keep their own family name after their marriage to a foreigner! Think about it! Our Katakana'ed names are not our real names! They look so odd sometimes and I could not accept mine as a modified form of my real name. So how could someone be happy to expand this odd name to a Japanese spouse?! Let them keep their Normal Names :-)
sharky1 at 02:19 PM JST - 27th April

Just a name game, but how will this affect the children??? Which name will the children carry, and who will decide. What if there is no agreement between the husband and wife as to the names their children will have?
goodDonkey at 02:31 PM JST - 27th April

sharky1 said:

Just a name game, but how will this affect the children??? Which name will the children carry, and who will decide. What if there is no agreement between the husband and wife as to the names their children will have?

Interesting point. In my opinion it would be nice to let the child decide when she or he is older but in the meantime it would seem to pose quite a dilemma.
cleo at 02:58 PM JST - 27th April

the children's surname is both their parents surnames, with the father's first. This makes easier to track genealogical records and such.

That sounds like a good idea. My family tree has so many branches that come to a full stop when g-g-g-g-grandad married someone called Mary No-name. (This is also an argument for giving babies unusual, unique names)
goodDonkey at 11:46 PM JST - 27th April

I could have expanded and said how do you choose the order if both names are used but I kinda thought that might be understood as part of the problem. The new question is the additive effect. Eventually a portion of someone's family tree could be included in their name.

When Joe Smith Johnson marries Sue Andretti Mick they have Jon, Jill and Nathan

Nathan marries Marcy Williams Delatowski they have kids with last names of Smith Johnson Andretti Mick Williams Delatowski
grafton at 01:22 AM JST - 28th April

goodDonkey at 11:46 PM JST - 27th April

I think you are getting a little carried away here, deliberately perhaps? Some level of balance needs to be found. I can’t quite work out what Azrael is saying, because being Colombian (a Latin American) I have a double name the same as any Spanish person, my father’s first name & my mother’s first name & my first wife (also Colombian) kept her full name, there was no requirement for her to take my name. Our daughter has both my first surname & her mother’s first surname, they are the grandfathers names. Yes at some point the maternal names in the family do get dropped, if they didn’t you would end up with impossibly long names. I have a number of cousins who decided to keep maternal part of their family name because that branch of the family is important to them & that does make for quite a long name, but they can’t keep on doing that. I have to admit though that it does sound really impressive when said out loud. Sadly mine are quite common names so sound just as they are, quite common.

What I find a little sad in all this is something that came up on another thread about poor husbands only having pocket money of 500 yen for their daily lunch. It made marriage sound so horrible that one wondered why anybody would do it. This is something close to that. Two people who decide to get married should at least be able to agree on what they are going to do with their lives together, like what they are going to call the children & how much money to spend on lunch. Family names may well be important but surely a married couple can see this & sort things out between them? Having the government do it for them is no answer. If they can’t sort this out I suggest not getting married because it doesn’t sound like it is going to work.
Azrael at 03:23 PM JST - 28th April

Mrs. Cleo: Thanks for your comments. Yes, it is useful and interesting. It makes easier to track down the family history. Legally, it's also useful to track down inheritance and property history (I have worked on real-state related historic research).

On one hand as a professional, I'd rather keep my own name, but on the other hand I would most definitely take my husband's name for social purposes. It's both a social norm and a right I am not against taking. Some women (my sister is one of them) think that changing their name would be a form of 'submission' or something out of date. That is a very individualistic view I respect, but well I can do whatever I choose when the time comes.

Goodonkey: Please do not worry, it's worked for hundreds of years.

Grafton: What exactly didn't you understand from what I posted? If you let me know I'll try to explain it. I was simply explaining the reasons and use of Latin American double name system. In other countries of different culture, like Japan and the US, most people I've met that have asked me about it wonder why it is done that way and how does it make sense. What may seem obvious within a culture may be intriguing to individuals of another culture. As for the myriad of names, at least in my country people have four names into the Civil Registry: First name, second name (another tradition), father name and mother's, the person's name being aforementioned four. Of course not an obligation to have four, the second name may be an exception and the father's name may be missing (life happens?). Is it different in Colombia?
grafton at 08:51 PM JST - 28th April

Azrael at 03:23 PM JST - 28th April

I’m not sure but I think we are talking about the same thing, sorry, but maybe it was the way you explained it. Like you I have two family names, let’s call them A & B, when I got married my wife kept her family names, let’s call them C & D, our daughter’s name is therefore A & C. I think that you will find we are saying the same thing. Having lived for a long time in Spain this is the same family naming system they have used for ever. I admit that not all Colombians do this, I have come across single name families but you would normally find that these families have none Spanish ancestors who have changed the system over the years. I do agree though that trying to explain all of this gets a bit difficult sometimes. You should try it in the UK, they seem to deliberately not want to understand & insist on using the last name which is the mother’s name & not the name we would normally use on a daily basis. Me, I don’t react to hearing my second surname so imagine what happens in places where they call your name out, doctors offices for example, I just sit there ignoring my own name, it can get very confusing. By the way there was no insult or attack intended in my last post.
elbudamexicano at 11:01 PM JST - 29th April

What a waste! Mexico you just keep both family names and everyone is happy! When will Japan and the West ever learn???
Orchid64 at 08:52 AM JST - 30th April

I think people should be able to choose to do whatever they want - keep their family names, adopt the spouse's name, use a hyphenated version of both. People make this complicated because of ego and Japan is rigid about it because it is rigid about any sort of change.

Personally, I think the Spanish/Mexican way is pretty cool and should satisfy most reasonable people. However, I married and kept my own name. It keeps a lot of legal issues much simpler - no new passport, driver's license, etc., and all of my records from before I got married match my current name. Any man who doesn't like his wife keeping her own name has issues with how he views women. They're people, not possessions for you to mark as your territory.