Wednesday February 15, 2012

IvanCoughalot's past comments

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    IvanCoughalot

    Kuroki’s powerful character wraps Kuroda around her little finger in the movie, confidently bending him to her will.

    I'd like to be wrappped around Meisa.

    Posted in: Oda, Kuroki, Ito team up for 'Amalfi' sequel

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    IvanCoughalot

    Remarkable that, in such a small picture, such a "great beauty" can still look like she has a big nose.

    Posted in: Koyuki makes first wedding dress appearance after marriage to Matsuyama

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    IvanCoughalot

    If I were given the chance to start kicking this talentless jessie in the pods, I would break my foot before I got tired of doing so.

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

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    IvanCoughalot

    And furthermore, I'd rather spend time with a picture of MM than any of the halfwitted harpies I have to spend my working hours with. I'd rather spend time sitting alone in the dark, crying, than looking at their lipless, witless, titless futility.

    Posted in: Are people hired based on their looks?

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    IvanCoughalot

    This certainly isn't an issue where I work. My office is about 90% female, and every last one of them is a late-thirties, unmarried, unmarriable, lipless, titless personality-bypass. The lack of physical appeal is matched only by the total lack of business acumen, and a bizarre belief that 27 degrees is cold. Seriously - in a room with 80 women in it, there not one worth a drunken lunge at. Whoever hires in this office has no interest whatsoever in good looks.

    Of course I was hired because I'm superb at my job. The fact that I'm an irresistible fanny-magnet is purely coincidental.

    Posted in: Are people hired based on their looks?

  • 0

    IvanCoughalot

    Tokyogas - thanks again, but I wish I hadn't bothered. The product was scarcely even visible, just this poove mincing and standing on one leg. Now if they'd got a big star to do an act - Beyonce, Gaga, hell, even Meisa Kuroki would be more than satisfactory - I could understand putting the product on the back burner to just gather the reflected glory. But this queen just limped about being effeminate and the product disappeared. How in the name of all that's gracious could anybody have got this past the brainstorm session?

    "Right, everyone - the purpose of today's meeting is to find a way to get people to buy Cecile underwear. It's for women who need a bit of support. Ideas?"

    "How about a group of shapely women looking hot in the product, fronted by a big name - Beyonce, J-Lo, Kelly Brook?"

    "Or maybe a real ladykiller - Kimutaku, for instance - talking about how he loves to see a woman looking hot in this gear?"

    "Wait! I've got it! Someone who never, never looks at women, doing the same tired schtick as he does six times a week on every identical TV show, with the product not even visible most of the time?"

    (Snnnnniffffffffffffffffffff) "We have a winner!"

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

  • 0

    IvanCoughalot

    Thanks TokyoGas.

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

  • 0

    IvanCoughalot

    Smith, Ebi - I hear you.

    Mincing is not a career. References to gay sex should not be made when children are about. Kids should not be able to watch this deviant do his limp-wristed dance, lie on his back with his legs in the air and point to his anus as though it's in some way a joke, rather than an obvious reference to sodomy.

    Look at youtube - it's full of children copying this dance, not knowing what it means.

    And why is he chosen to promote brassieres? Maybe, at a push, I could see the logic of having that world-champion sex-change thing that's also on every show recently, but a flat-chested bloke? What does he know about bras?

    What is wrong with these people that they allow this on the box? Does nobody think?

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

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    IvanCoughalot

    Tokyogas - do you have a link for that youtube vid? I have a healthy urge to see the ladies more clearly which is countermanding the spitting fury which a glance of that mincing fairy inevitably evokes.

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

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    IvanCoughalot

    Surely all bras are 3D? Unless it's a drawing of a bra?

    Tanoshingo, who wears the bra himself, explained how it offers support without giving a sensation of uncomfortable restrictiveness

    This gruesome little queen has no knockers. How in the hell can he be an authority on the comfort or otherwise of this brassiere, which was designed for a woman's body, not that of a puny effeminate?

    I can't wait for this woeful sausage-jockey to disappear back to the obscurity he so richly deserves. Mincing and pointing to your anus does not make somebody a comedian.

    Posted in: TV comedian Tanoshingo promotes '3D bra'

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    IvanCoughalot

    Cue Pink Lady appearing nightly on endless identical "Variety" shows.

    Japanese Variety Shows - Great job, Misnomer-Man!

    Posted in: Pink Lady play in Tokyo during reunion tour

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    IvanCoughalot

    while he tries hard, I am not confident that he is the correct guy to lead the JTA

    I couldn't agree more. Nice, harmless enough bloke, but a cookie-cutter bureaucrat.

    Posted in: Il Divo

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    IvanCoughalot

    Most Japanese people I meet have absolutely no social skills whatsoever. Utter silence in a train, elevator or place of business is not a natural, healthy or productive state. It's worse when they go overseas. How do you spot the Japanese at a holiday resort? They're the ones in total silence, looking afraid and bewildered, or even better lying on a sun lounger with a towel over their faces so there's no chance anyone will make eye contact. Dysfunctional.

    I couldn't begin to count the number of times my aisatsu have been blanked outright by people in the same apartment building. They're taught from an early age that social interaction is a chain of recited ritualised phrases and "So desu ne". Take them out of that Westworld-style comfort zone and they immediately panic and retreat into themselves.

    That's why the birthrate is so abysmal, that's why there is such a horrendous mental health problem here, and that's why so many of them die alone and the neighbours only get involved when the stench becomes unbearable.

    These people are afraid to talk to each other. Like frightened four-year-olds all the time.

    Article Unavailable

  • 1

    IvanCoughalot

    act childish and grossly overreact

    All the would-be tarento needs to know.

    The saddest part of this picture is the fact that Mr Mizohata's antics aren't off-the-cuff or improvised in any way. He'll be delivering the script, memorised verbatim, which was the result of twenty hours'-worth of meetings with senior wise types nodding sagely as the "creative" advice was dispensed by some other clueless halfwit.

    Posted in: Il Divo

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    IvanCoughalot

    Sourpuss - I'm sure the mod will direct you soon to stay on topic. This photo is not about me or why I live here. That's right, isn't it, Mod?

    Posted in: Il Divo

  • 1

    IvanCoughalot

    That's bound to work. Come to Japan. It's ludicrously expensive, you won't understand a thing unless you know someone who lives here, you'll be irradiated and subject to seismic catastrophe at any point. We have no functioning government and we'll assume you, in your racial inferiority are criminal. But never mind, we have a middle manager in a silly wig looking awkward in front of some has-beens, in a staged photo-op which we assume will be enough to lure you, as we do not understand the concept of critical thought.

    Posted in: Il Divo

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    IvanCoughalot

    I met this bloke once. I will guarantee you that this was the only flash of "personality" he showed during the entire meeting, and it took him half a dozen attempts for him to smile correctly.

    Posted in: Il Divo

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    IvanCoughalot

    Although the title of her book espouses the virtues of flying by the seat of one’s pants and doing whatever works, Chibana told the assembled press that when it comes to men, she prefers the sensible type.

    So she doesn't believe the advice of her own book? Not much of an advert, is it?

    Posted in: Kurara Chibana looking for Mr Right

  • 1

    IvanCoughalot

    This headline is bad news.

    Posted in: Not all bikinis risk wardrobe malfunctions

  • 0

    IvanCoughalot

    Meisa Kuroki - oh I say. Ding, and very much dong.

    Posted in: Kuroki, Tabe team up for detective drama

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