Thursday February 16, 2012

IvanCoughalot's past comments

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    IvanCoughalot

    First kick goes to the snack-sized, trembling "dog". The second to the squeaking spinster who did this to it instead of acting like a woman.

    Posted in: Dog days

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    IvanCoughalot

    iPhone - One coesn't like to go into details, but I can assure you she had. Why do you think she's smiling so broadly? One aims to please.

    What did she say about the "outdated facets" of Japan's entertainment industry? There is certainly a lot needs changing in the quality of entertainment here. Watching other people eat, shout and squeak don't remain eternally fascinating.

    Posted in: Erika Sawajiri signs with Avex, promises to change attitude

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    IvanCoughalot

    This lovely young lady is only complimented by you guys as long as she is not a mother or a wife.

    Make that one's own mother/wife. Anything else is fair game for a leer.

    Posted in: Anne chosen as Tokyo Metro poster girl

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    IvanCoughalot

    “For my family and I, it’s good"

    "My family and me", surely?

    Posted in: U.S. weighs release of bin Laden photos

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    IvanCoughalot

    Why does the metro need advertising at all? People would go everywhere by taxi if there weren't ad campaigns? Waste of money.

    Posted in: Anne chosen as Tokyo Metro poster girl

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    IvanCoughalot

    Good luck to the pair of them, I say. And God Save the Queen.

    Posted in: William, Kate marry as 2 billion tune in across globe

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    IvanCoughalot

    And have we noticed how effective the constant reminders about how the world would be a better place were we to exhibit elementary courtesy?

    I'd like to thank my fellow passengers on the Chiyoday line last week who helped me assist the elderly gentleman who collapsed to the floor and began an epileptic seizure. Except I can't, since not a single one of the mouthbreathing arseholes made the slightest effort. Not even those occupying the "courtesy seats" (odd, don't you think, that there needs to be a section of the train in which that cultural trait so famed in the Japanese is requested, but not expected?) could rouse themselves from their seats until sworn at vociferously by the barbarian who broke the wa by doing something more than tilting his head and making "Are? Eh? Daijobu?" noises.

    We Japanese consider those around us, they will tell you, and do not only think about ourselves. This is what makes us unique, they will say. And despite delineated good-manner zones and constant brainwashing it's beyond them to even move along a seat and let another wareware nihonjin sit down.

    Posted in: Repetitive post-quake public service messages drove TV viewers nuts

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    IvanCoughalot

    seesaw - Princess Diana and Yasser Arafat are "in the ground", not "in the world".

    Posted in: Name 5 people who you think are among the most influential in the world.

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    IvanCoughalot

    I'm assuming it must be Mino Monta, Tanoshingo, That World Champion sex-change thing, that fat transvestite and the bloke who says "Ehhhh?" and falls over laughing and clapping.

    They must be, or there wouldn't be any point having them on TV all day every day.

    Posted in: Name 5 people who you think are among the most influential in the world.

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    IvanCoughalot

    Ah, Paris. I love the smell of urine, stale sweat and unjustified self-satisfaction. Le Bois de Boulogne, Les Champs Elysees, and for you, UberLeutnant, the finest table in the house.

    Posted in: Christel Takigawa launches new book on why she loves Paris

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    IvanCoughalot

    I think Epicurus had a very convincing line of thought:

    If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to
Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is able, but not willing
Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing
Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing
Then why call Him God?

    Posted in: Japan's Christians celebrate Easter amid disaster

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    IvanCoughalot

    Was there anything in this study which explained why ugly women act like utter morons when presented with something which requires problem-solving faculties? Blinking, pursing the slivers they've got instead of lips and squeaking "dou shiouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?" is not the same thing as a cognitive process.

    Posted in: Men act stupid when talking to beautiful women, study shows

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    IvanCoughalot

    If men lose their “cognitive functions” when interacting with beautiful women at work, then perhaps it may be better not to have them at the company.

    It would appear that whoever's in charge of recruitment at my office subscribes to this view. We've got a right coven of bloodless crones here. Not a single one of them possesses the slightest allure. They sit around squeaking and affecting cute mannerisms even though they're all the wrong side of 35. Not a lip between them. And oh, the dentistry.

    I of course am irresistible to any red-blooded wench.

    Posted in: Men act stupid when talking to beautiful women, study shows

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    IvanCoughalot

    I never understood why the Japanese didn't take to Easter like they did Christmas. It's got the lot - seasonal change for the traditionalists, cutesy bunny wabbits for the half-witted squeakers who think the most important thing in life is diabetes-inducing cuteness, and chocolate for the economic stimulus/ obligation spending.

    Yet ask a hundred Japanese if they've heard of Easter and you'd be lucky to get a single affirmative answer.

    Posted in: Japan's Christians celebrate Easter amid disaster

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    IvanCoughalot

    I'd much rather the friendship of the US military was used in this way than in the friendly fire they show with depressing regularity to their supposed allies in combat zones.

    Posted in: Is U.S. military relief effort Operation Tomodachi really about friendship?

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    IvanCoughalot

    I'd rather be sick on myself than watch that garbage.

    The amount of beer I've got in my fridge, I'm not ruling that out as a possibility. Nonetheless, I repeat. Good luck to them both, and a happy St. George's Day tomorrow to all Englishmen. Ladies too, if I may make so bold.

    Posted in: NHK to broadcast UK royal wedding live

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    IvanCoughalot

    Good luck to them both I say. There'll be celebrating at Chateau Coughalot with a slab of roast beef and a fridge full of booze for the loyal toast.

    Gawd bless 'em.

    Posted in: NHK to broadcast UK royal wedding live

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    IvanCoughalot

    I know a number of Japanese wives who need their rings smashing.

    Article Unavailable

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    IvanCoughalot

    I don't think they should. The reason is purely practical.

    We all know that, if they go to trial, they'll tick all the formulaic boxes for tears, appropriately-worded expressions of sorrow, deep bows and so on, and will be found innocent of any wrongdoing. These are up-the-ladder Japanese men we're talking about, not some philipino punk with a trace of meth in his flat.

    In the very unlikey instance that they are found guilty, they'll be punished with a suspended sentence in view of the sincerity of their expression of regret.

    In the meantime, millions of yen of Taxpayer money will have been pissed away in futile legal fees, when it could, should - but won't - be spent rebuilding the lives of the survivors.

    Just insist on resignation and financial penalty and get the guilty out of my sight.

    Posted in: Once the nuclear crisis is brought under control, should TEPCO executives face criminal charges at some point in the future?

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    IvanCoughalot

    Koyuki's overrated to a bizarre degree. Far too big a conk for someone who's supposed to be the archetypal Japanese beauty.

    Posted in: Koyuki, Kenichi Matsuyama tie the knot

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