JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION
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Why do Japanese change their attitude when they communicate with foreigners?
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Confrontation
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U.S. Navy investigating how parts fell off aircraft near Atsugi
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California court to decide if SeaWorld whales are illegal 'slaves'
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Kuroki reported pregnant 2 weeks after denying relationship with Akanishi
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- Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) in Kanto region
- RCS (RCSコーポレーション), Kanto
- Salary: ¥180,000 ~ ¥250,000 / Month includes performance bonus
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- Assistant Language Teacher - TOKYO - late-March start
- Interac, Tokyo
- Salary: ¥230,000 ~ ¥255,000 / Month
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- Assistant Language Teacher - Kanagawa Prefecture - late-March start
- Interac, Kanagawa
- Salary: ¥230,000 ~ ¥255,000 / Month
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ambrosia
" don't think I said anywhere that I didn't "feel" for this women."
And I don't think I said anywhere that the comment in question was directed at you.
Posted in: Mother cycling with 2 daughters run over at crossing; both children die
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ambrosia
Elbuda Mexico: I'm not sure where you're getting your information on helmet laws but according to a policeman I asked this evening and everything I've found on the Internet, there is a helmet law in Japan, albeit a somewhat limited one. To be fair, if you check helmet laws by country, many of them are limited to riders under 15 or 18. Most are not inclusive of all riders.
"Japan adopted a national helmet law in 2008 that requires children under 13 to wear helmets. This story reports that 76 per cent of the surveyed parents of kids 1 to 6 years old had bought helmets for their kids, but only 54 per cent said the kids always wear them."
Posted in: Mother cycling with 2 daughters run over at crossing; both children die
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ambrosia
My feelings of sympathy for the mum have got nothing to do with not wanting to apportion blame. I don't know who caused the accident so I can't say who was to blame for it. And if you've read any of my post on the topic of cyclists in Japan you'll know how generally ignorant I think far too many of them are and how I blame legislators and police as well for not passing and enforcing laws that would protect people from themselves since many don't seem to have the common sense to do it for themselves. If the mother was negligent, and she surely was if the kids were not wearing helmets, and there were a law under which she'd be punished, I'd be for punishing her. I feel very sorry for the driver who has to carry this burden around with him. At the same time, I still feel compassion and sympathy for the mother, for her loss. Those are not mutually exclusive feelings. The world is not just black and white whereby if you feel one way you cannot feel another way. And quite honestly, if you feel nothing for this women then you've got something missing and I feel sorry for you as well. Happy Holidays, right?
Posted in: Mother cycling with 2 daughters run over at crossing; both children die
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ambrosia
tmarie: Wow! That's pretty harsh and I say that being a big advocate of bike safety. She screwed up to be sure but she's still a human being who's lost two children. I don't disagree that the driver deserves our sympathy, especially if he was not to blame but that doesn't mean the mother doesn't deserve sympathy too. Being stupid and being worthy of sympathy are not mutually exclusive and it costs you nothing to be a bit more generous in your feelings.
seamus: Everyone! Everyone! Everyone who is on the road, be it in a car, on a motorbike or on a bicycle, needs to know the rules of the road and to obey those rules. To do otherwise puts yourself and others at risk. As for riding on the pavement, unless it is specially designated for cyclists, you are not supposed to be on it.
Posted in: Mother cycling with 2 daughters run over at crossing; both children die
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ambrosia
This is indeed tragic and I'm not saying who was at fault her because we don't have enough information. What I will say is that in general, bicyclists here ride with seemingly no regard for either their safety or that of the people around them. Riding dangerously puts others at risk, be it on a sidewalk or on the road. Just yesterday I rode across town, about 15 kilometers each way, to meet up with a friend. I saw a lot of other people riding but counted only 3 others in helmets besides me and 2 of them seemed to be delivery riders so it may have been a work requirement. The helmet-less included a mother and her young child. She was riding on the side of the road, which I commend her for, but with no helmets and no lights, she was asking to be hit. People think that if they ride on well-lit roads they don't need lights when nothing could be further from the truth. People also seem to think that if they're riding in a familiar area they don't need helmets when again, that is completely untrue. The more familiar the area the more likely you are to pay less attention to your surroundings and end up in an accident. Personally, when I walk, because I never ride on the pavement, I always double check before I go through a zebra crossing because I know drivers here don't necessarily slow down. I often see people looking across the street to see if traffic is coming from there (the left I guess it is) but not checking to see if it's coming from the lane close to them. That's always seemed a bit odd to me.
Posted in: Mother cycling with 2 daughters run over at crossing; both children die
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ambrosia
And you shouldn't have to live with her or her with you. You're doing plenty and it sounds like she's well taken care of. It might be different if you lived with extended family who were all helping out to shoulder the burden but it doesn't sound like that's the case. You have your own health to consider, physical and mental. Without that you couldn't do anything at all for her and you'd end up being a burden to someone. I sure hope your husband appreciates how much you're doing for his mother. You said she was your mother-in-law, right?
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
I found this statement to be suggestive of stupidity: "Any of you cooing about them needing help just like babies did hasn't taken care of someone with dementia. It's a while other kind of hell...". You may not have meant it that way but that's how it read to me. I don't disagree at all with what you've said about how hellish it is to take care of an elderly person, particularly one with some of the health problems mentioned. And your pet peeves are your pet peeves. I'm not going to tell you to not be annoyed by them no more than you're going to be able to convince me that anyone should ride their bike on the pavement (my pet peeve). My only point is that people don't always know what to say in tough times so they resort to platitudes. "She's in a better place." "You're better off without him." "You'll get pregnant again." Those comments have all been made to me by people who've also lost loved ones, been through tough break-ups or divorces and miscarriages. They annoyed me but I just chose to assume they meant well and moved on. Educating people as to the reality of your situation is an excellent idea but people will probably be more receptive to your message if you're straight but not sarcastic. Again, I'm sorry about your situation and hope you're getting some help with your in-law. Have a good day. Really! You deserve that at the very least.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
I didn't say you said it. I said you implied it. Regardless, I understand your feelings and am sorry that you've had such a tough go of it. I've been there and it is wearying. I hope you're availing yourself of the resources that are available.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
Himajin: No one's cooing and I think people clearly understand the differences that you've pointed out. Again, I believe the analogy was simply made regarding the helplessness of both groups and the fact that caring for both can be exhausting.. I dare say given a choice, most people would take the helplessness of a child over that of an adult. Having dealt with both I understand your points but also understand the point of the analogy. Most people with half a brain would understand the lack of hope and physical difficulty in caring for an elderly person. Perhaps the people who've commented to you simply don't know what to say and don't want to focus on the negative. They may not say whey you want to hear but that doesn't make them stupid, as you've implied, either.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
illsayit: The analogy isn't meant to be an across the board comparison and surely you understand that as clearly as I do that children and the elderly have different care needs. The point of comparison is in the degree of helplessness and need, particularly for elderly who've sufferered severe strokes, dementia or Alzheimer's. As for a community raising a child, the point is not whether you'd move if you didn't like your neighbors or if they'd rather you behave so they don't have to discipline you. Thepoint is the awareness, acknowledgement and concern for your neighbors. Surely those factors are also important when we talk about the disintegration of the family and society. Neither lives in a vacuume, they are connected. You seem to be purposely avoiding the subtleties of both points and taking things overly literally.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
illsayit: Why is it silly to say that "elderly people are like children, or even that children are raised by the community."? When people develop dementia or Alzheimer's it can be like dealing with a child. They become somewhat helpless and need everything done for them, even their hygiene and toilet care needs. That's very much like dealing with a child or infant.
I'm not sure what your issue is with the "...children being raised by the community..." statement? Is it the statement in general or the fact that this is no longer true? I was certainly raised, in part, by the community. I came from a small town where neighbors felt perfectly comfortable telling us off for stepping out of line and I wouldn't have dared to question their right to do that because they would've just called my parents and told them what I was up to and my parents would have thanked them for it, which was never good news for me!
It's true that the family should try and help out their elderly relatives but that comes with a few caveats. They might not be physically capable of meeting that person's needs and thus do the elderly and themselves physical harm. It is extremely stressful to take care of an elderly person and can be very isolating. The majority of the work usually falls on women, so even if the parent is not theirs they end up being a 24/7 caregiver. I know more than a few women who've had to do that for years and very often then ended up taking care of husbands who'd fallen ill. The women were often angry and bitter and who could blame them? Any career aspirations they had, dreams of going back to work after raising their children (and yes they did want to do that) were put on permanent hold taking care of parents, in-laws who were often rude, mean and ungrateful and then husbands. I don't think the elderly should just be dumped in nursing homes but neither do I think there's anything wrong with getting some help if you can.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
tmarie: Many people do train to become caregivers but attaining the qualifications isn't easy, as it shouldn't be. You want people properly qualified to do that kind of work. Qualifications are only half of it though. Elderly care is similar to child care in that you should never ever force people into that kind of career. It takes a very special person to do either job, not just someone who's out of work and looking for a job.
As for the availability of elderly care, it exists and to a better degree than it does in the country I'm from. My friend's mother-in-law just passed away after a lengthy illness. She was living with her daughter and son-in-law at the time and had caregivers come in nearly every day for various tasks. There were about 6 or 7 who did a rotation and by all accounts, the care they gave was wonderful. I can't say with 100% certainty that my friend and his wife didn't have to pay anything but if I remember correctly the vast majority of it was covered by her, the mother-in-law's insurance. I've had other friends who's elderly parents have been tested to see what level of care they need. There is a scale and depending where the person falls on it they will get different levels of care. It can vary from someone coming in once or twice a week to do various tasks, someone coming to pick up the elderly person to take them to a senior center for the day or as in the case of my friend, nearly daily care. Japan may not have it 100% right yet but they do seem to be making a fair effort to tackle the issue, and believe me, I wouldn't defend Japan as a knee-jerk reaction but give credit where credit is due. People will fall through the cracks. That seems somewhat inevitable when the population which needs help is so large but from what I can tell they are trying.
Posted in: Wives recoil from violent fathers-in-law
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ambrosia
johnygogogo:
Are you serious? I've lost track of the amount of times I've taken food home, from any of the three grocery stores in my neighborhood, and found that it's bad in the middle or on the side that was covered by white packaging. I've given up going back for a refund and now just take everything out of such wrapping, piece by piece, in the grocery store and put it in my bag if it's not rotten. It saves time. On top on that problem, there's the poor shelf / refrigerator of so many fruits and vegetables here. I've never had as much trouble with things going bad so quickly as I have here, and I've lived in a few different countries so I've got room to compare.
Posted in: Farmers - last of the modern-day samurai
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ambrosia
Actually, the contents of the bags are rarely a complete surprise. There are descriptions of what's inside which includes sizes and colors and in many cases you can exchange what's inside if you're dissatisfied. The way friends have explained it to me, you usually end up with something you either don't like or are indifferent to but by turn you end up with something you like enough to have made it worthwhile.
Posted in: Contents of department store lucky bags change in post-disaster era
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ambrosia
smithinjapan: How does her posing nude make her a voyeur? A voyeur is someone who gains sexual gratification by looking at sexual objects or acts, especially secretively. A peeping tom is a voyeur. Someone who poses nude and enjoys doing so would be considered an exhibitionist.
Posted in: Angelica Michibata to bare all in magazine
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ambrosia
Marihu: Seriously? You cried for a few days over what someone you've never met said over the Internet? Why would you place so much importance on the words of a stranger? Wouldn't your energy and time have been better spent doing some research on the effects of radiation and educating yourself so you would have more knowledge? I understand that we're all different and react differently to things and that we should try to be civilized when communicating with each other, in person and in cyberspace. At the same time, I find it odd that you'd be so sensitive to the comments of a stranger. Assuming you're an adult, you might want to consider why the words of others have such an effect on you. It suggests an unhealthy lack of self-confidence and is one of the reasons bullies get away with bullying. You give them power by being so easily affected by what they say.
Posted in: An era of technology-based communications and its implications
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ambrosia
From the Miami Herald:
"The worker, whose name wasn't released, was stopped by Leeds police at a license checkpoint on a highway Monday night.
Police Chief Byron Jackson says the man showed police an international driver's license, a valid passport and a Social Security card that allowed him to work in the U.S. But under Alabama's new law, called one of the country's toughest, he was required to carry either an Alabama license or a license from Japan.
Jackson says a municipal judge dismissed the case Thursday when the man's attorney presented his Japanese driver's license in court."
The driving permit is the only relevant point to this story. A little research could've found you the same information and avoided incorrect speculation.
Posted in: Honda employee cited for breaking Alabama immigration law
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ambrosia
Honda workers do not just "hop on planes quick to help them out". They go through the proper channels to get work visas for their employees being sent on overseas assignments and don't let them go until they have them, even if that means the workers have to wait longer than expected. It's really confusing as to where some of the posters here get their information or why they feel need to spout such vitriol.
Posted in: Honda employee cited for breaking Alabama immigration law
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ambrosia
The article doesn't state that the Honda employee didn't have a valid visa so I don't know where readers are getting that from. Neither does it say he couldn't speak English, so any rude, presumptuous comments to the contrary are simply uncalled for. I guarantee you that Honda employees go through language training before they are sent overseas. They also go through seminars on cultural aspects as well aa the laws of the country to which they may be moving. Not having a proper license would've most likely been the fault of the worker not the company. Alabama is shooting itself in the foot with some of its new immigration policies. Companies such as Honda are important to their economy and if they think operating in Alabama is becoming more trouble than it's worth, they'll pull up stakes and move elsewhere.
Posted in: Honda employee cited for breaking Alabama immigration law
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ambrosia
We all agree that he broke the law and thus he should be deported.
I've not disagreed.
But as they say life is a bitch and throws spanners(most of us been there, got the T). But if he left quietly would he be 6-feet under now? ** **I don't know and neither do you. ** **
Like I said he had a long time to correct his ways and didn't neither did his lover/spouse push him to do the right thing, nor his friends and for how many years? They are just as much responsible in my eyes.
So are your friends responsible for any crimes you might commit? If immigration officials are not responsible for his death why in the world are his friends responsible for his overstaying? Should your friends turn you in if they find out you haven't made all of your pension or tax payments, that you've nicked a beer mug or done a runner? Turning in someone who is committing physical harm to others is one thing but suggesting his friends should have turned him in - if - they knew he was an overstay is going a bit too far.
Yes, he was a human being on the same token he made his decisions and took is changes. Sad to say but he lost that lottery.
Easy to blame it all now on immigration, etc. But when you take stock who truly failed him?
I didn't blame it on immigration. I blamed it on no one.
Sure, vote me down.
Not sure what you're talking about?
But who is primarily responsible for over-staying a visa? And no-one around then tells them to fix it for decades?
According to what you just wrote, his friends are just as responsible as him so now you've confused me.
Fully agree that the immigration guys went overboard, but if you do the crime(over-staying) get the gonads to admit it and take the punishment in a mature manner.
**Please read what I actually read. He had turned himself in ages ago and went to immigration for monthly check-ins. Doing that and knowing he could be thrown out at any time if they didn't approve his application showed a lot of "gonads". He got frustrated because the application had been turned in years previously and still he had no answer on the status or possible approval or rejection of it so he stopped going. Again, I'm not condoning that but don't say he didn't try to do anything about his status because he did. Your saying otherwise is simply wrong. He got stopped randomly by the police and that was when he was taken to detention. **
Fight and all bets are off, same across the world.
**That is true. What is different however is how people are treated by immigration based on where they are from rather than the specifics of their case. If there is anything to be learned from this tragedy it is that immigration policies in Japan ought to be changed. Reviews need to be speeded up and the procedures required during the review process made less onerous. He was married to a Japanese national for many years, it wasn't a sham marriage. In many countries that is, quite reasonably, a favorable and compassionate point considered when reviewing an application or request for a change of status.
Another poster suggested he was working illegally and not paying taxes. Those are both incorrect. As his case was under review and had been for years, he was allowed to work. If taxes were not removed from his pay that means his employer was violating the law. The irony is that illegal immigrants very often do pay taxes or perhaps a more accurate statement is that their employers often take taxes out of their pay though the employers may not necessarily pay what is owed to the government as it would mean admitting they are hiring illegals, often for lower wages and without making all of the necessary tax, insurance and pension payments.
It costs you nothing to show compassion for a human being who is now dead and to the best of your knowledge did nothing more than overstay his visa. Nor does it cost you anything to try and understand why people feel compelled to break laws, whether or not you condone their doing so. **
Posted in: The case of Abubakar Awudu Suraj: A PR nightmare of Japan’s own making