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fanofjapan2005Jun. 14, 2013 - 12:04AM JST
This sad, sorry yet silly situation brings new meaning to the term "foul ball."
We in the U.S. survived a corking-the-bat couple of years several decades ago, when Sammy Sosa's broken bat revealed enough cork to keep the wine-bottling business afloat for a while. (If they'd only, earlier, checked the bats' origin name: "Made In Cork, Ireland.")
What I'm wondering now is, why are so many MLB bats being broken per game? Never used to happen anywhere near that often. Maybe Louisville made a $ecret deal with Spaulding to iron-coat their baseballs.
What's next? Maybe spraying some stay-sticky glue on fielders' gloves?
Posted in: Japan baseball chiefs admit lying over ball change
fanofjapan2005May. 28, 2013 - 01:08AM JST
Humans: "Why did you adorn men with nipples in the first place, God?"
God, with that all-knowing smile: "So that wives could say, 'Around the house, he's as useless as his nipples!'"
Posted in: 84% of women don’t want to see men's nipples at office: survey
fanofjapan2005May. 21, 2013 - 10:44PM JST
Where is God through all these disasters?
Posted in: At least 91 dead in Oklahoma City tornado
fanofjapan2005May. 04, 2013 - 11:50PM JST
I was (we were) forced to give up MS's Instant Messaging (IM) a month or so ago because MS sort of moved its IM (cannibalized it?) into its latest purchase, Skype.
I like Skype's emoticons, but I also liked IM's emoticons. I wish MS would wake up, combine the two sets of emoticons and just toss out one of any almost-duplicates. Sigh ... MS should change its name to "Engulf & Devour."
Posted in: Hotmail is dead as Outlook.com takes over
fanofjapan2005May. 02, 2013 - 01:07AM JST
During last night's game (above), I could see him laughing when, with two outs, 4-2, Rangers, he caught the toss from the first- (or second)-baseman, but his foot missed the first-base bag as the White Sox runner whizzed by, safe. He didn't laugh for long, however; the next guy up hit a homer to make it 4-4.
Yu is an incredible guy. These days, he is seen chatting in both English and Spanish in the dugout, all of them -- including Yu -- laughing hysterically. He's really "one of the guys." He makes a smooth effort to be that way.
Posted in: Darvish improves to 5-1 as Rangers beat White Sox
fanofjapan2005Apr. 25, 2013 - 11:15PM JST
"No, fool!" I said. "'Education,' NOT 'ejaculation'"! What a, er, um, jerk ...!
Posted in: School flasher identified by semen left at scene
fanofjapan2005Apr. 15, 2013 - 11:27AM JST
For some (strange) reason, the actual article is not showing up on MY monitor; just the lengthy headline and all the replies/comments. What gives?
Posted in: Why do some native English speakers use broken or grammatically incorrect English, when trying to communicate with someone who isn't a native English speaker, but who may understand some English? Do they think that somehow broken English is easier to understand?
fanofjapan2005Apr. 15, 2013 - 12:57AM JST
As a retired ancient journalism/English major, I "teach" on a website called "Lang-8" -- a foreign language site with probably a hundred-thousand people from all over the world learning each other's languages. Its URL is "Lang-8.com." Some of you might find it amazing, fun, and rewarding. Surely, others here on JT have explored this site.
While teaching via computer, I always try to use "perfect" English. Often, I throw in some slang, street talk, idioms galore, etc., but I always try to explain them. The present and former Japanese Eigo-learners learned strict, totally proper English in their schools, probably from old-school, my-way-or-the-highway-type native-Nihonjin teachers. On Lang-8, the learners are discovering, with the help of us native-English speakers/writers, that there's quite a gray area between "prescriptive" English (by the book) and "descriptive" English " (how we REALLY write and speak TODAY).
Egg-zample: They avoid English contractions like the plague. "It is a beautiful day," they write. I respond with, "Yes, you wrote it perfectly, but you will always be labeled a foreigner if you don't use any contractions at all. We use them ALL the time, especially when speaking but also in writing." They have sort of acquired the feeling (from "school daze") that "contraction-speak/write" is sinfully casual, way too informal, other-side-of-the-track lingo. Noooo!
Another example: I point out to my Lang-8 "students" that President Obama -- and most any prior president -- uses/has used wanna-gonna-hafta-gotta when speaking informally with the press or to the nation. However, when reading his teleprompter, say, for the State of the Union address, it's contraction-less, as it should be.
There's a time and a place for every communication style.
fanofjapan2005Apr. 09, 2013 - 11:19PM JST
The lack of replies and comments on this JR article bolsters the fact that virtually nobody cares. "So what?" What a shame!
Posted in: '42' shows why Jackie Robinson still matters
fanofjapan2005Apr. 09, 2013 - 12:52AM JST
I'm white. Jackie was my boyhood hero. I have an autographed baseball containing his name (worth $4K, I'm told). I'm 30 years older than Jackie's number, but I still wear his "42" Dodger shirt each April 15th. I wore his "42" shirt on April 15 for each of the seven years in which I substitute-taught 9th graders.
I showed them my JR baseball (sealed in a see-through plastic sphere -- and held tightly by me; no hand-passing down the rows).
These 15-year-olds hadn't a clue. In 2012 (I had heard that the movie was coming out in April of 2013) I begged my students to see this movie, especially the black kids. They need to know about him and what he did for baseball. Can't wait to see it ... a few times! ;-)
fanofjapan2005Apr. 04, 2013 - 03:13AM JST
Yu can't fool all the people all the time! The 9th batter in the Lastros' lineup broke thousands of hearts, including mine. Why is it that my Rangers seem to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory when they're one inch, one out, one pitch from winning or tossing a no-no? (Well, they won THIS game, anyway, and, yes, that IS what counts. Meanwhile, Yu for Emperor!)
Posted in: Darvish loses perfect game with 2 outs in 9th
fanofjapan2005Apr. 04, 2013 - 02:43AM JST
Fascinating irony here. An armed Japan split and sunk Caroline's father's PT Boat, and now his daughter walks on water and is welcome -- with open arms! ;-)
Posted in: Japan enthusiastic about Caroline Kennedy's possible appointment as ambassador
fanofjapan2005Mar. 27, 2013 - 12:54AM JST
Black Beauty: Mane attraction. Don't ever change it! ;-)
Posted in: To dye or not to dye?
fanofjapan2005Mar. 06, 2013 - 11:54AM JST
I'm 6'5", 220. I shouldn't have to be penalized for that. I'll leave the percentage of overweight people -- be they unable to fit in one seat because of inherited DNA or whether they don't give a damn about what they eat, how much they eat, and how often they eat -- to resolve their problems.
When I take my seat in a plane, two things happen: I immediately get gangrene of the knee caps; further, when the person in front of me (always) suddenly jams his/her seat back, it makes my head hit the bottom of the overhead compartment. (The knees are already numb.) Flying sucks pond scum for tall folks. Prices suck for everybody regardless sof size.
Posted in: Lack of legroom, uncomfortable seats flyers' biggest complaints
fanofjapan2005Feb. 27, 2013 - 03:08AM JST
An Old Fart maybe, but a liberal since the day I was born (with an outrageous sense of humor, btw), I was nonetheless utterly repulsed at the Oscar emcee's (I've forgotten his name already, thank goodness) incredibly crude one-liner about Lincoln. (In this JT article, I find no mention of it.) He had been talking about Daniel Day-Lewis's ability to "be" Lincoln. Then he said, "Gee, I thought John Wilkes Booth was the only guy that got into Lincoln's head!"
The emcee should be hung in Effigy -- a small suburb of Los Angeles.
Posted in: Critics blast Oscars for off-color jokes, dull show
fanofjapan2005Feb. 24, 2013 - 10:11AM JST
The breeder brings new meaning to the term "bitch." I've had two wiener dogs in my life. Daughter now has hers. So much to love!
They oughta put milkbone underwear on that breeder and walk her through an open-cage dog pound.
Posted in: 161 dachshunds rescued from abusive breeder in Osaka in need of homes
fanofjapan2005Feb. 22, 2013 - 02:04AM JST
This pun won't work in Nihongo, but if the Mrs. and her hubby can write and read some English, she should place this message atop the water tank:
"I aim to please!
You aim, too, please!"
Posted in: Standing up to pee 'a matter of honor' for one man
fanofjapan2005Feb. 16, 2013 - 01:33AM JST
My wife and I low-key Valentine's Day, as our wedding anniversary is ten days later. I treat her like ROYALTY on our anniversary. Not only do I take her to BurgerKING, but we go to DairyQUEEN for dessert!!! bada-bim ...
Posted in: Love and fakery in the air on Valentine's Day
fanofjapan2005Feb. 15, 2013 - 01:08AM JST
Love. Valentine's Day. Hearts everywhere.
Draw a question mark.
Now, edgewise, hold it up to a mirror.
Lo and behold, the reverse mirror-image makes for a heart! Symbolic?
Two acquaintances, facing one another, both with deep-seated questions, hopes. Maybe ....
fanofjapan2005Jan. 28, 2013 - 11:55PM JST
Guys get massaged and then have the 16- to 24-year-old masseuses sleep next to them for a while? Yeah, right. If that isn't waving the red flag in front of the bull, I don't know what is. I guess it's true these days that the definition of a virgin is "an ugly second-grader."
Posted in: 17 'relaxation' establishments raided; 76 high school girls in custody
Jun. 20, 2013 - 01:25AM JST
Erdrogan was elected, like it or not. Maybe he's like Nixon but it's still a democracy.…
Posted in: Turkish PM claims victory after protest crackdown
Jun. 20, 2013 - 01:22AM JST
Shoulda left a bigger tip.
Posted in: Mummified remains found in restaurant in Morioka
Jun. 20, 2013 - 01:20AM JST
A cause for celebration? Even one is one too many.
Posted in: No. of suicides drops below 30,000 for first time in 15 years
Jun. 20, 2013 - 01:18AM JST
Nightmareliner, more like.
Posted in: United 787 Dreamliner heading to Tokyo diverted to Seattle
Jun. 20, 2013 - 01:17AM JST
Some people have a go at me when i mention the type that would go to…
Posted in: Hooterville