JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION
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- English Instructor (Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe)
- Berlitz Japan, Inc. (ベルリッツ・ジャパン株式会社), Kansai
- Salary: ¥125,000 ~ ¥250,000 / Month
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- FT English Teachers for Kids - Osaka
- Kohgakusha Co., Ltd. （株式会社興学社）, Osaka
- Salary: ¥255,000 ~ ¥275,000 / Month Travel Expenses, Encouragement of Japanese learning*
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- Translator
- ZAIHON, Inc. (日本財務翻訳株式会社), Tokyo
- Salary: ¥6.0M / Year Negotiable
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kirakira25
Oh man. Do the police attract a certain type of recruit or something? Or is it stress of the job that makes them do crazy things? I would love to see a psychological study of this (and no offence intended to the many fine police officers out there but there does seem to be something of a trend, in Saitama at least!)
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kirakira25
You know, just last night my 3 year old boy (middle one of 3) had a MAJOR tantrum because he didn`t want to go to bed - even though we had promised each other earlier that I would read stories and have a cuddle with him, and he would then stay in bed. It was 11pm. I have only slept 3-4 hours at a time since Nov 25th when I had my newborn boy.
This morning, cue another tantrum because I had cut his toast into triangles - as he always has it - but this time he wanted squares. Even though he never has squares. Cue nuclear meltdown (you may have seen the mushroom cloud over eastern Tokyo!) I also have tonsilitis right now and a fever. And the baby had been up since 4am. And I had to get to the doctors office, in the rain, by 10am to get more antibiotics.
My point is that despite all this going on (and this is just one small sample of how unreasonable 3 year old boys can be) not once, not ever, not even in the darkest recesses of my mind, did it EVER occur to me to slam his head on the floor, or even smack him.
I completely understand how stressed out this mother may have been. It is incredibly difficult not to lose your rag with them sometimes, and anyone who ever claims they have never lost it with their toddler is lying quite frankly!
BUT - she is the adult, the mother no less. Kids push our buttons, but it is down to us, as the adults, to maintain that control of ourselves that we need in order to control them. This may have been a momentary loss of control, or a history of abuse, but there really is no excuse, however stressed out, tired or lonely you may be, or how many "nappy problems" you are having (I also have a child that wasn
t toilet trained until 4 1/2, went through hell for two years and finally needed two operations to correct a bowel problem that hadnt been diagnosed so believe me, I understand how stressful that can be too!)There really is NO excuse for violence against a child. Period.
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kirakira25
Don
t have to be a Mum to be able to empathise Dolphingirl, and you hit the nail on the head. Not that Im complaining for a second, because the rewards are wonderful. UNLESS you are in a fog of despair and just can`t see it as this woman could well have been. It is a very lonely job at times, and I imagine especially if hubby is never at home.Article Unavailable
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kirakira25
I also feel terrible for the father - what an awful sight to greet him on his visit home.
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kirakira25
@Osakadaz - I speak from very tired, painful experience as a Mum (of 3 now including a two week old) - the very fact that you are sympathising with your wife and doing whatever you can to make her life easier is MORE than enough. Good for you, she is a lucky woman!
It always makes you feel even worse when you are at home alone all the time, working so hard and getting so little sleep at night, when your husband thinks what you are doing is not really "work" because you don
t put on a suit and go to the office every day and get paid for it. Its even more infuriating when that same husband can`t even cope 4 hours during daylight alone with the baby without freaking out!My advice - put your arms around her and tell her you know that she is working even harder than you are and you really appreciate it, and it won
t always be like this. Pretty soon things will get easier, she will start feeling better, and life will become much less hard and much more fun. It is somtimes, especially with your first, difficult to imagine life will ever be the same again. And it wont, it will actually be BETTER - it just takes a little time and a lot of support.Psychiatric care IS available for Mums who are suffering, as are many support networks. In the last 6 years I have been pregnant 3 times and seen a steady increase in information and support systems. I am over-run with leaflets right now!
However their social networks are not necessarily supportive of them getting help. I know this for a fact - I have counselled many Japanese new mums. As a mum myself and a former teacher I often got "students" who were "pursuing a hobby" with their husbands/family
s encouragement by "studying English" but within weeks in each case it became apparent that their time with me had very little to do with learning English and a LOT to do with speaking to a fellow Mum who would understand and who most importantly (their words not mine) was NOT Japanese - they felt we wouldnt judge them.I have sent many of these "students" off for proper counselling - even taken some myself - and even in one case had a husband on the phone telling me to leave his wife alone - well, she came to ME, buddy! Believe me, I don`t have the time to go out searching for damaged mummy friends!
My point is that whilst help is available, a significant change in mindset is required from this notion of "Gaman" and sense of failure if you can`t gaman. This is how tragic stories like this one happen. If her husband was not around either (and I totally understand it may be because of work and through no fault of his own) and she has a 2 yr old and an 8 month old - that is REALLY tough.
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kirakira25
Probably in most cases pretty schocking - which is why at least in my home country when we translate tourist information etc into Japanese we use NATIVES to do it and check it. Not English-speakers who THINK they can speak/read/write Japanese.
Posted in: Visit Japan Campaign launched
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kirakira25
@dolphingirl - well said, and I don
t know what gets me more frustrated - the fact that these people wont stand up for themselves, or possibly the fact that they can`t.I tried to talk to my husband about the Japanese culture of "Gaman" the other night, and asked him how Japanese can continue to Gaman not even knowing if the situation will ever change. I should have known better really - he got incredibly defensive and starting hurling accusations that at least "Japanese aren
t lazy like the British who cant take a little hard work"....I gave up at that point. When he starts attacking like that it usually means he doesn`t know the answer!Posted in: What it's like for department store staff in a recession
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kirakira25
I saw the trailer for this recently, and it just looked like a whole bunch of special effects attached to a pretty weak storyline.
Not my bag at all, but I can see why serious film buffs would be into it.
Posted in: Can Cameron deliver Titanic results on 'Avatar?'
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kirakira25
I would just add that we live in the centre of Tokyo, and maybe compared to smaller communities we just don
t have the neighbourhood "spirit" that other places have. Shame really, but that is possibly another reason that people dont really watch out for the kids. Most people live in high rises, a lot of office workers commute into the area every day, and on the street people seem far too busy running around with their own business.Me and another like-minded foreign Mum are planning to share the school run between us and I trust her completely, so we are probably going to run our own "system", but I wouldn
t be prepared to take more than hers and my children because I dont think even I as an adult and a mum of 3 can control a big crowd of 6 year olds on a busy street and I wouldn`t be prepared to take that responsibility for lots of other peoples children.Article Unavailable
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kirakira25
@LFRAgain - sorry, been a little AWOL with my newborn!
To answer your questions: yes, the PTA, neighbourhood watch etc DO exist in my neighbourhood, and the fact is, I would love to be able to trust them, but I
m afraid I dont, because I have seen too many times adults walking miles ahead of the kids not watching them at all, PTA mums standing on crossings with their flags hanging by their sides gossiping while the kids cross unsupervised, tiny young kids walking home alone in near-dark while no-one except dodgy looking guys bats an eyelid at them, etc etc.I have personally followed home young kids before to make sure they actually get home because I couldn`t in all conscience leave a little girl the same size as my own on the street by herself.
It
s not that I think Japan is a terrible place, full of crazies, but I think kids are generally less supervised here than back home, and if someone did want to do someone to one of them, it really isnt hard to do here. In fact, I know of one person it happened to in a park in my neighbourhood just a few months ago - a 6 year old little girl lured away for just 10 minutes (thankfully they got the guy).Yes, I do feel like as a parent, outside the school grounds I am responsible for my kids safety first and foremost. Help from PTA and neighbourhood watch is welcome, but (IMHO) absolutely no substitute for a parent doing his or her job. I have told my daughter if she is embarrassed to be seen walking with me in the future I am happy to walk 20 metres behind her in dark glasses and a hat, but I am not letting her walk home alone. Maybe that makes me a total control freak and if so I apologise, and I am more than happy to pay for her therapy in the future to recover from her over-controlling mother but right now until adulthood (and beyond) my top priority will always be her safety!
I would much rather people criticise me for being over-protective, than deal with the potential consequences of not supervising my kids at all.
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kirakira25
OMG!!!
Posted in: Japan becoming nation of unrelenting complainers
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kirakira25
I agree with EVERYBODY on here! Car drivers, bus drivers, taxi drivers, cyclists and pedestrians all seem to behave here like they are in another world. As a driver I am terrified of someone doing something stupid and leaving me in the lurch for their stupidity. What makes me so mad is the lunatic way in which the law is applied.
I drive really carefully, but a friend of mine (American with fluent Japanese) was busted when he was sitting in a STATIONARY car and a 9 year old came whizzing down a hill on her bike in the rain, on the road, with the brakes not working, and rammed into the back of his car. She was taken to hospital and the police arrested HIM for dangerous driving - even though he wasn`t actually driving at all at the time!
Luckily, her parents did the decent thing and acknowledged to the police that not only was it not his fault, but his car probably saved her life by stopping her zooming out into a major road. But I think people like this are few and far between.
If this guy was crossing the road on a red light, then he only has himself to blame, and the driver should not be punished. I would try to keep an open mind as to the cause, but it is very hard to imagine a responsible, careful 24 year old "company president" behind the wheel of a Corvette. I was a demon at 24 - and I only had a mini!
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kirakira25
I am REALLY glad though that it sounds like they have got this guy though - would love to know what his excuse is...
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kirakira25
I agree with MikeKChar - it depends on where you live.
My daughter starts elementary school next April, and as far as I am concerned, her safety is MY responsibility - at least while she is 6,7,8 years old. Not the responsibility of the school, the PTA, the neighbourhood watch, a bunch of other 6 year olds or even 6th graders.
I don
t think our area is necessarily dangerous but I just dont agree with letting young kids walk to school and back by themselves. Maybe it is just a cultural thing, I know there are many Japanese who don`t agree with me on it, but this is my child being raised my way and I believe in an ounce of prevention and all that....Article Unavailable
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kirakira25
Yeah, I was wondering how to check the mats are properly installed when there is no information on how they should be installed.
Posted in: Gov't warns drivers to check floor mats in cars
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kirakira25
Those coloured dresses would be perfect for a saloon scene in a classic western cowboys n Injuns movie. But for a wedding? And a bride who doesn`t have a stage name?
My friend also had a crimson wedding dress for her winter wedding and looked fab - but she didn`t have the black lace Lady Marmalade thing going on.
Posted in: Karina, two sisters model new line of wedding dresses
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kirakira25
I
ll give you the divorce, but do you know how much they charge to rent one of those monstrosities??! Its crazy!Posted in: Karina, two sisters model new line of wedding dresses
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kirakira25
Herefornow you actually took the words right out of my mouth.
I see a lot of suffering employees but I don`t see any of the dinosaur department store companies doing DOING anything about the changing marketplace.
The model seems to be the same tired old one ever since I came to Japan and their target customer market is shrinking faster than a salted slug.
Why don`t they redefine themselves? Bring in some more down-market realistic brands. Mix up the merchandising a little bit. Everyone except these so-called "retail experts" themselves seem to be aware of the way retail is going here and yet they still seem to be following the traditional standard of "If we just work that little bit harder, and squeeze just a little bit more out of the "team" then the good times will roll again" - fact is, the good times ended in the early nineties, and it is only the delusional who are continuing to believe it will all come good again. And with this "new" recession those guys are dropping like flies.
Posted in: What it's like for department store staff in a recession
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kirakira25
This is a private matter. If he was a TV evangelist preaching the moral high ground that would be different, but he is a golfer, and never pretended to be perfect - the media set him up with that image.
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kirakira25
Spot on, DarkKnghtZ, and I don`t see that happening anytime soon - they are already drumming into my 5 year old the spirit of "Gaman" whole I make plans to show her how life can really be...
Posted in: What it's like for department store staff in a recession