JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION
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- 秘書及び業務サポート
- 加治金属工業株式会社, Tokyo
- Salary: ¥4.0M / Year
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- English Instructor (Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe)
- Berlitz Japan, Inc. (ベルリッツ・ジャパン株式会社), Kansai
- Salary: ¥125,000 ~ ¥250,000 / Month
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- ALT - Mie Prefecture - Yokkaichi City - June start
- NPO法人グローバル教育推進機構（GLAD), Mie
- Salary: ¥230,000 / Month For a full working month. Some months differ.
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pandaclair
He does make a reference to the song in the book. And I have to disagree with the director saying the song is "too cute" for the story. I think the mood of the song fits perfectly. But I'm still excited to see it! I think the book is good. Not my favorite Murakami book, but the first I ever read.
Posted in: 'Norwegian Wood' debuts at Venice Film Festival
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pandaclair
I flew from Jakarta to Narita on Garuda in 2008...is that different?
Posted in: Garuda Indonesia to launch Jakarta-Tokyo flights
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pandaclair
I think this is sort of a "chicken or the egg" argument. I had heard of so-called Charisma Men before I first came to Japan as an exchange student, but didn't really have an opinion on the matter until I openly heard other foreign men bash foreign women unprovoked and without any real reason. Like, I would be with some friends out to eat and one guy would loudly proclaim how some girl was hot, and were she in America she'd be "the hottest girl in the room," right in front of me. Not that I think I'm the hottest girl on earth, but no one wants to hear stuff like that on a regular basis. Or like when my American boyfriend, who I was studying abroad with at the time, was told by a very unattractive American classmate that it was such a waste to come to Japan with a girlfriend because he could be getting much hotter Japanese girls if he was single.
You hear stuff like that for a year, and it starts to make you a little bitter. Those guys are obviously major tools, and I don't hang out with people like that anymore (for the most part, haha), but for me at least, I didn't start hating on Charisma Men until they hated on me first. Now I've been here long enough that I don't really care. If some Charisma Man wants to date exclusively Japanese girls and feels the need to bash Western women while doing so, it merely shows more about his own insecurities than my supposed physical and personality flaws.
Posted in: The return of Charisma Man
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pandaclair
Is it weird that reading this article makes me WANT a kid? I mean, I've had the baby bug for a while now, and reading stuff like this doesn't help, haha. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for pain!
Posted in: Local experts help foreign women take the pain out of labor
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pandaclair
"ivebert said: he should be dating kids his age
Maybe pictures of kids his own age are all he can get. They call that child porn you know.
Of course what makes them really sick is the fact that the pics had no mosaic."
Hmm...if what other posters say is correct, that child porn in Japan more often consists of high school girls than elementary-aged children as Westerns tend to think of, I wonder what kind of porn this 16 year old boy was distributing? Is it like "sexting" in the U.S., where some classmate sent him a naked picture and he sent it to other people?
I wonder what the kid (because if 16 year old girls are considered children, than this 16 year old boy should not be categorized as a man) did to be considered in violation of these laws.
Posted in: 14 men, aged 16-45, busted over national child pornography ring
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pandaclair
Two of my American friends and I went to a restaurant in Shinjuku. We saw two or three tables open in the back, but no one was up front so my friend yelled out a hearty "sumimasen" and a waiter, while wiping his hands, responded "hai, kochira he dozo (this way please)". When he finally looked up, he face changed and he said " sumimasen, ima wa ippai desu. (sorry, but we're full now."
About 6 months later, in an English conversation class, we were talking about discrimination (in my discussion English conversation class) and the whole class (of Japanese students) agreed that what I experienced wasn't discrimination because the waiter was just protecting the restaurant's best interests by not letting three foreigners eat there, because God knows what kind of people we may have been.
Yes, you may say "who on Earth cares what everyone else does?", until you've been unfairly judged based on the color of your skin.
Posted in: Dear Angry Western Guy
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pandaclair
The author seems a little on edge herself, but I think the point she's trying to make is that a foreign guy yelling and swearing at his wife in public will have a much larger impact in Japan than a foreigner walking by himself quietly down the street, and that no matter how many polite foreigners there are in Japan, all it takes is one person (gender doesn't matter) to screw it up for everybody.
Posted in: Dear Angry Western Guy
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pandaclair
I was an eikaiwa teacher for a few years. I met some teachers who really did care about teaching English, and worked really hard for their students. Then there were some who didn't really care about teaching as a career, but still took their jobs seriously and did what they could. And then there were others who did the bare minimum just for a paycheck (and access to Japanese women in many cases).
I was reluctant to admit to people I met in Japan that I was an English teacher, because they really are a dime a dozen. But the system as a whole is flawed. Japanese people are less likely to study abroad than they used to be, and with the need for English-speaking Japanese on the rise, many companies are taking advantage of the situation by bringing foreigners TO Japan. The teachers are treated as expendible, and as such the teachers know they are just putting in a year or two before heading back to their home countries.
Honestly, whenever my students asked me what they should do to improve their English, I always just told them to move to an English-speaking country for as long as possible. No matter how much Japanese I learned at home, it wasn't until I lived in Japan for about a year when I became pretty proficient and comfortable using it, and even after 3 years I still didn't have the skill level required to pass JLPT 1. Foreign language study takes time, dedication, and a lot of practice. One hour a week with some American/Australian/British/etc. college graduate won't do it.
Posted in: Why is teaching at English conversation schools in Japan such a maligned profession by some people?
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pandaclair
Exactly the point. People are obviously on one side or the other and are unlikely to change their perspective, but what child custody really comes down to is what is in the children's best interests. Studies on the effects of divorce on children vary, but from what I understand the best situation is a stable one, where both parents, while not living together, mutually respect one another, and where children's lives do not become disrupted from their previous lives. Savoie screwed this up when he made his family move to the U.S.!!
I don't doubt his love for his children, but let's face it - BOTH these parents love themselves much more. However, I side with Noriko on this issue because the kids were born and raised in Japan. It sucks that in the world of divorce women more often than not get the kids. There's prejudice in the system. But considering how much prejudice there is in the world the other way around, I think this is something men are just going to have deal with. And it sucks that foreigners don't have many of the same rights as Japanese while living in Japan. And so, it sucks that if he stayed in Japan to get divorced he may have lost the chance for joint custody. But who's to say that his sole custody of the kids in the U.S. is better than the mother's sole custody in Japan? An American judge? Who even knows if it was a fair trial, especially given the mother's level of English.
If Savoie REALLY loved his kids, and was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for their well-being, he would have done his absoulte best to work an amicable split with their mother so they could continue going to the same schools, seeing the same friends, and living in the same house. Instead, he selfishly brought the whole family to a foreign country for his own comfort. He gambled and lost.
Posted in: Dad who tried to take kids from Japan sues Tennessee judge
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pandaclair
The fact that Japan still hasn't signed the Hague Convention on Child Abduction is awful. And it's incredibly hypocritical for Japanese to say that they don't want to get involved in domestic disputes so they don't arrest Japanese people who abduct their children, but then go around arresting the foreign spouses who try to get them back! My heart goes out to all the parents who have been shut out of their childrens' lives. My husband is Japanese, and every time I read a case like this I tell him if we have kids, get divorced, and he takes them back to Japan, I will hunt him down and do, well, not-so-nice things to his naughty bits. Thankfully, he said his own parents would probably help me were he to do something like that.
HOWEVER - Christopher Savoie is a tool. He tricked his whole family into moving to a foreign country for his own selfish reasons. I don't care if he was afraid his wife would take the kids and run. Self-fulfilling prophecy much? The best interest of the children, first and foremost, is to be in a loving, stable environment. Savoie messed that up the minute he moved them to the U.S. where he was punished his wife for the rest of her life to follow him around like a dog until the kids were grown. If the situation were reversed, and my husband coaxed me to move to Japan only to serve me with divorce papers and then tell me I could only see my kids by agreeing to live in some country town away from MY family so he could live a happy new life with his new bride, I would have done the same thing. No sympathy for this man what-so-ever.
Posted in: Dad who tried to take kids from Japan sues Tennessee judge
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pandaclair
In defense of women who need their hair straighteners!!:
Yes, she should have taken the batteries out before she packed the item. But bringing the item itself is not a crime, and she probably thought she was being a smart traveler by not having to worry about converters. First time I went to Europe I brought my straightener and all the necessary converters and plugs and still burned my hair beyond repair! Burnt hair smells, people!
And yeah, girls go to extreme lengths to look good. When you start becoming dependent on some product for your everyday look, it's really hard to imagine living without it.
So bash her for forgetting to remove the batteries, not for wanting to control the frizz the humidity in Thailand causes!
Posted in: Hair iron blamed for Narita airport suitcase fire
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pandaclair
I totally agree with the sizing-problem in Japanese clothing stores! I'm a size 4 in the U.S., and in Japan I went to try on a pair of shorts at some store in a station mall. They were too small, so I asked the sales clerk if they had a larger size. Her response? THEY ONLY CARRIED ONE SIZE!!! One-size-fits-all shorts will do horrors to a girl's self-esteem.
Even my husband, who's about 175 cm and about 68 kg had to buy a large at stores like Muji. He was so surprised when he was swimming in size M in the U.S.!
Lots of Japanese girls have awesome bodies, but I have seen too many walking skeletons. Guys, too, are way too skinny. My husband is small compared to American guys, but he was a soccer player and has awesome muscles! I wish more Japanese guys were like him - trim and tone!
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pandaclair
That is a really cute baby!
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pandaclair
0letstalk: "After all these years in Japan I noticed the following: Usually when: 1. a marriage where both spouses are Japanese: poor sex, nobody complains. Or looks like "no complains". 2.a marriage where a wife is Japanese, a husband is a foreigner: non-stopping complains from a foreign husband about his sexless wife. 3. a marriage where a wife is a foreign and a husband is Japanese: regular sex, again nobody complains. What possible logical explanations can all this stuff have"
I can't speak for all foreign women married to Japanese guys, but for us, I think it has to do with the fact that my husband isn't an ordinary Japanese guy. He's definitely not a "vegetarian" guy. When we first met, he approached me and talked to me with the same confidence that many Western guys have and other Japanese guys seem to lack.
I think most Japanese guys who marry Western women (I'm not sure about Japanese guys who marry other Asian women) are more confident in themselves, which spills over into the bedroom. I mean, most Western women were brought expecting men to be more "carnivorous," and usually don't date or marry your average Japanese man.
Women are usually the "gate keepers" when it comes to sex. No matter how amorous the husband is, if the wife says no than it means no. For Japanese couples, sexlessness is normal. So for a Japanese woman married to a foreigner, perhaps she doesn't think there is anything wrong with denying him. Western societies are more open about talking about sex, and most women have watched enough TV and read enough magazines to know that a happy marriage is a sexed marriage. For Western women/Japanese guy couples, the "gate keepers" are much more receptive to their husbands advances.
This is the only explanation I can think of!
Posted in: Sexless in Japan
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pandaclair
Zenpun: "Man are from the Mars. Woman from the Venus. Men are also visual animals. If their wives are no longer attractive, they lost limbo. Depending on their wives gentle persuasion and changing appearance(cosmetic surgery), they can be horny again."
So the only way to get your man lustful is stay young forever and have cosmetic surgery? Well considering this is a new phenomenom, and in the 60's and 70's when cosmetic surgery was hardly affordable or safe, how do explain men being so horny then?
I completely agree that this lack of sexual appetite in men can hardly be blamed solely on them - sex is between two people, and both need to be held accountable if the desire wanes (unless for health issues, of course). But to say husbands don't want to have sex because their wives are ageing is ridiculous. If this were even the case (which I seriously doubt it even is considering how widespread the drop in sexual appetite is in Japan right now), I would think it's more the men having unrealistic expectations that their wives will look like 20 year olds and stay the exact same weight their whole lives.
Athletes: "Japan is becoming the immigrant nations. Many lower paid works are dominated by the people from these particular nations. Japan has got many influence about the foreign culture and custom including middle east now. I do not think married men is responsible for not having sex after their work. The reason is lack of willingness from their spouse and lack of privacy."
I'm sorry, but Japan is not an immigrant nation. Here are the stats that make up Japan's population from the CIA World Factbook (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ja.html): Japanese 98.5%, Koreans 0.5%, Chinese 0.4%, other 0.6% note: up to 230,000 Brazilians of Japanese origin migrated to Japan in the 1990s to work in industries; some have returned to Brazil (2004) Where do you see an influx of Middle Eastern people in there in a size large enough to influence Japanese thinking about virginity and sex?
And of course sex in a marriage can't be blamed SOLELY on the husband, but it's not just the wives' fault either. The important part is compromise, which is obviously not happening on either end because the Japanese have never really been known for their good communication skills. It took me forever to get my husband to be able to open up to me and tell me what he really means and really wants, and for me to understand what he means by different actions and phrases, and we're both much better off for it.
"Have I commented the Japanese men divorced their wife for not being a virgin? I have re read all my posts and I did not find it. "
I didn't mean that you said Japanese men divorced women who weren't virgins, wheat I meant was you brought up that that was a practice in Asia and therefore women shouldn't have too many sexual partners or any at all before they're married. Bringing up another cultures' customs does not add to your argument, because it's irrelevant in Japan's case. What do these practices have to do with men's waning sexual appetitite IN Japan?
Posted in: Sexless in Japan
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pandaclair
Athletes: Yes, some cultures and religions do view promiscuity differently. But the article isn't about sex in Christian, Muslim, Middle Eastern, etc. countries - it's about the sex, or lack thereof, in Japan as reported by Japanese men. Whether or not you or others agree on pre-marital sex, there are still married men who, according to this article, reportedly don't even have sex with their wives once a week. Sex inside marriage is healthy, fun, and a great way to not only relieve stress but most importantly build intimacy with your spouse. And that isn't happening in Japan, and that is a problem.
As for pre-marital sex, yes, there are some people who either look down on it, or those who do not practice safe sex, but it's still socially accepted in Japan. I've haven't heard of, in this day and age, a man divorcing his wife because she's not a virgin - in Japan. This article reports that single men in their 30's also aren't having regular sex, or have never even had sex! No interest in sex in itself is not the issue, but problems like these are just the symptoms of a generation of men who are becoming more and more apathetic and passive.
Posted in: Sexless in Japan
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pandaclair
Athletes - " Women do not really understand about the Male anatomy and functions", yet Asians are so knowledgeable about sex, more so than Westerners? You contradict yourself, and I'm not exactly sure what your point is.
I don't think dolphingirl was encouraging married people to have affairs. If you are single and safe, there is nothing wrong with having multiple partners. Of course, we don't live in a perfect world and not everyone is safe. But sex is a natural human desire and function, and we should express it when we can!
To the topic at hand, I am an American woman married to a Japanese man. He's the only Japanese guy I've been with, so I can't comment too much from experience being intimate with Japanese guys, but being a blonde, blue-eyed foreigner in Japan definitely attracted a lot of guys, and at least in Tokyo on a Saturday night I had to deal with a lot of horny guys! But in general, I think at least in the U.S., we have such strange ideas about sex - we talk about it constantly, yet people caught having affairs or "extreme" sex lives are immediately shunned (Tiger Woods anybody?). I think people in Japan are more indifferent to it. Whether you're having it or not, nobody really cares all that much.
Posted in: Sexless in Japan
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pandaclair
Good for them! Sounds really convenient for single women looking for a nice, safe place to live for not a whole lot of money. With more women working and less money being made from the poor economy, it sounds awesome! If I go back to Tokyo, I may have to check out these places myself...
Posted in: Meet the brains of Tokyo's women-only housing boom
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pandaclair
Feminine IS the new masculine in Japan, it seems to me. Make fun of all the make-up wearing, long-haired J-boys you want, they still get hot girls. The "herbivores" are the more "normal" guys. They live, or rather, want to live normal lives but have no motivation for anything (work OR girls) because they feel like they're just going to fail.
Posted in: The age of listless, wary, anxiety-ridden and insecure young men