JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION
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- Translator
- ZAIHON, Inc. (日本財務翻訳株式会社), Tokyo
- Salary: ¥6.0M / Year Negotiable
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- Full-time English Teacher - Osaka
- Epion English Language Schools, Osaka
- Salary: ¥200,000 ~ ¥250,000 / Month Depending on your ability and experience
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- Part-time English Teacher - Osaka
- Epion English Language Schools, Osaka
- Salary: ¥10,000 ~ ¥15,000 / Day Depending on how many days a week are worked
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papasmurfinjapan
Mother Teresa
She kept on going even after losing faith in God. Doing good works in the hope of getting a heavenly reward is one thing, but continuing to do the good works after losing faith in getting such a reward is truly remarkable.
Bill Gates
Never thought I'd say it, but the guy has really redeemed himself of late. Tens of thousands, if not millions are better off thanks to his philanthropic work.
Posted in: What is your definition of a hero and who are some persons, either living or deceased, whom you would consider to be heroes?
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papasmurfinjapan
I don't know about other parts of Japan, but where I live we have to buy "special" government garbage bags to put our trash in. They won't collect it if it is in a normal garbage bag.
If there were public garbage bins in the park I'm pretty sure all the cheap folk would take their garbage to the park so they wouldn't have to pay for the special bags. You'd be surprised how far some people will go to save a few yen.
Posted in: Why are there so few benches and garbage bins in public places in Japanese cities?
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papasmurfinjapan
Benches
Everyone is too busy to sit down and take a break.
Garbage bins
With a conbini on every corner, who needs a public garbage bin? Just throw your garbage away at the conbini when no-one is looking. That's what everyone else does.
Posted in: Why are there so few benches and garbage bins in public places in Japanese cities?
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papasmurfinjapan
Touché!
Posted in: In Japan, the customer is not king
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papasmurfinjapan
Cleo
The way I see it is you are paying primarily for a cup of coke or whatever beverage tickles your fancy. You aren't willingly paying for ice. The menu says "Coke", not "Coke with ice", which means if you order with no ice, the cup should be filled with coke because that is what is on the menu and that is what you ordered. If the menu explicitly states a cup of coke is 350ml with ice served in a 500ml cup, then I guess there would be no complaints. ^o^
Posted in: In Japan, the customer is not king
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papasmurfinjapan
@mikehuntez
I suppose the idiom "sells like hotcakes" rings true in Japan as well. ^o^
On the whole ice/no ice debate, I have to agree with Nessie. In some places the amount of ice is definitely excessive. Where I live, if I order with no ice at McDonalds they usually fill the cup to the top though sometimes they forget. Although I feel a bit ripped-off when I notice my cup could fit an extra 30ml of drink, honestly I don't get too worked up about it. What annoys me more is cold/unsalted fries.
Posted in: In Japan, the customer is not king
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papasmurfinjapan
Mikanojo
As the moderator says, this is drifting off topic but let me just respond by saying although I admire your headstrong stance against all forms of physical discipline (which is understandable given your past experiences), as Zenny11 noted in an earlier post, I think it borders on the extreme.
Educating parents is one thing. Threatening a parent who won't follow your advice with court orders and reports to child services is another. Your "parenting books" may indeed speak against spanking, but I doubt any of them recommend calling the authorities to dob in another parent that spanks their child for disciplinary purposes - I believe doing such would cause more harm than good.
By all means, report actual abuse if you see it. If you were to report every parent who has spanked their child at one point or another, there would be hardly any parents left. I'm quite sure even those who oppose spanking will use it secretly on occasion - just wait till you have a 4 year old throwing a tantrum, who is still kicking and screaming after a 20 minute "time-out" causing damage to the house and himself... I suspect even you may give him a quick smack on the bum, harsh lecture, followed by hugs and kisses - even though you may never admit it in public.
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
This is a fair enough question, and the answer really comes down to what we have been discussing - what is the line between discipline and abuse?
My guess is that many people find it acceptable for a parent to hit/spank/scold his/her child to a certain degree because they believe it is the parent's responsibility to discipline the child - and hitting a child for disciplinary purposes has been accepted method for thousands of years.
You will find in many cultures a parent will also find it acceptable for a teacher to hit a misbehaving student. Growing up in the 1980s in Australia, my school had the cane for really bad kids. One of my elementary school teachers hit kids over their fingers with a ruler if they would talk during class. Parents never objected.. then something changed and caning was no longer "acceptable". You may call it evolution, but I think it has had a negative effect. Now teachers are powerless to discipline misbehaving kids for fear of losing their jobs or a lawsuit (or both).
My personal views are, I never hit my son. My wife does. Is she a child-abuser? No. I don't agree with her methods and I tell her so firmly, but still that doesn't stop her occasionally slapping him when he is misbehaving. Despite my disagreement with the method, I do not think it constitutes abuse.
If the punishment is excessive or unusually frequent, then that is cause for concern, and quite possibly abuse. I would report it.
If a parent takes out their personal frustrations on the child, and he/she is hit for NO REASON, then that is definitely abuse. I would report it.
If I see a neighbour hit their kid for running across the road by themselves, or stealing a snack from the supermarket, then although I disagree with the method of discipline, I do not consider it abuse.
I just answered your question Mikanojo. Now I would appreciate your answer to mine posted earlier.
*If you know a parent who spanks his/her child when they are naughty, do you consider them a child abuser and would you call the authorities? *
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
oops sorry, no "no" in between the de and omeshiagari.. basic translation is
"will you be dining in our establishment sir?"
Posted in: In Japan, the customer is not king
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papasmurfinjapan
I love it when the teenagers behind the counter at McDonalds speak in keigo to 5 year old kids trying to order a cheeseburger by themselves. This is a true story.
Kid: cheeseburger kudasai.
McDs: kochira de no omeshiagari desu ka?
Kid: unn???...
McDs: kochira de no omeshiagari desu ka?
Kid: cheeseburger kudasai.
McDs: kochira de no omeshiagari desu ka?
Kid walks away and gets mum to order for him.
Posted in: In Japan, the customer is not king
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papasmurfinjapan
Mikanojo,
I sincerely apologize if I sound insensitive, but you are indeed "lucky", thanks to connections you had that would no doubt be unavailable to most abused children. Where actual, real ABUSE is taking place, yes I agree children should be separated from the abuser. That is not the point of my post though. Where we differ is in the definition of what constitutes child abuse.
The point I am trying to make is, if you classify a parent who occasionally spanks his/her child for disciplinary purposes as a child abuser, is THAT child better off seeing the family torn apart as a result of reports by third-party such as yourself who doesn't agree with their parenting methods? Or are they better off being occasionally spanked? Do you think a child being torn from their parents leaves no emotional or psychological damage?
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
Bad photo, but fine woman. I don't care about her shoes to be honest.
Posted in: Plus J Girl
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papasmurfinjapan
For the record, I agree with you and don't hit my child, but it has nothing to do with the topic. The questions that must be asked here are:
If you know a parent who spanks his/her child when they are naughty, do you consider them a child abuser and would you call the authorities?
Would you prefer a child to grow up with only one parent, or worse, an orphanage because you had their parents put in jail for beating (disciplining) them? Is that really better for their welfare than an occasional spanking? Although I sympathize with Mikanojo's experiences, she is one of the extremely lucky ones to be taken from a bad family and placed into a "loving" one by the authorities. This is almost unheard of in Japan.
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
I've read through all the posts here and I haven't seen anyone making excuses or chosing to do nothing. All I have read is for the most part well thought out responses suggesting caution, not inaction.
As Zenny11 said, even the best intentions can turn bad. "Alienating" oneself from their neighbours has nothing to do with friendship... it's about being in the community loop, and in a position to help. If you cry wolf everytime you hear a screaming child, I can guarantee everyone in your neighbourhood is going to go to great lengths to avoid you. Then where are you? You are in no position to help anyone whatsoever. Jason6's idea is also a good one. Going one step further, I'd consider getting the chonaikai involved, and have the community leader write the letter. Shaming parents indirectly often works much better than direct confrontation. As a first step it gives the parents a chance to correct their ways and save face. Once the authorities become involved, they may become more defensive and more discreet in their abuse - making it harder to detect.
What people are suggesting here, including myself, has nothing to do with pride or embarrasment or fear. Mikanojo, I sincerely suggest you reconsider your shoot first, ask questions later approach if you really want to be a help to your community.
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
This is a difficult one. First of all, if you are settled in Japan and have "kinjo tsukiai", then calling the police can do more harm than good. Chances are the police will do nothing or let the parents off with a warning, it will alienate you from your neighbours and also negate any possibility of you helping them solve their problems in the future.
First you have to be 100% sure abuse is taking place. Some kids scream and kick and shout more than others - it has nothing to do with abuse, just the child's temperament. So if all you are hearing is screaming or crying, that does not necessarily indicate something sinister is going on.
The only way you are really going to notice bruises on kids bodies (which is where the majority of bruises will be if they are being beaten anywhere other than their face) is if they are naked - and how many of us have opportunities to see our neighbours kids naked??? You can't jump to conclusions based on a bruise on the arm or face... If the bruises are frequent in nature, then that however is a cause for concern.
I teach little kids and if I see a bruise on one of them I will ask them how they got it, then I will ask their parents - not in a judgmental way but "oh, what happened to his eye? it looks like it must have hurt".
If something looks amiss, I suppose I would talk to the parent directly (I have never been in this situation). I certainly wouldn't go to the police based on a hunch.
If it was for example my son's friend from school, I would consider going to the school first and talking to the teacher.
If I was in a supermarket and saw a mum beating her kid around, I would approach her and try and calm HER down.
If it was a huge dude with tats kicking his kid around I am ashamed to admit I would probably be too sheepish to approach him, and would tell the security guard or tencho and recommend they call the police. I'd also try and get the license plate of the person's car to pass on to the cops.
Posted in: Dealing with child abuse: What would you do if you regularly heard your neighbor's child screaming in distress or if you noticed a child with bruises on him/her?
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papasmurfinjapan
Popularity wise, she may be past her expiry date, but having an album ranked at number 1 every year for as long as I can remember, and selling over 50 million CDs in Japan alone is no small feat - all for a person only 32 years old.
As tkoind2 says, like her or hate her, at least she writes her own material, which is more than can be said for a lot of j-pop.
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papasmurfinjapan
If they are on a JAL flight, perhaps a flight attendant can hook them up with something.
Posted in: What's the best way to deal with screaming or badly-behaved children at airports and on planes so that they don't drive other passengers crazy?
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papasmurfinjapan
I agree.
Posted in: Tom Cruise goes with the flow
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papasmurfinjapan
Methinks he likes Japan because no-one here gives a damn what his religion is. Everywhere else the media tends to portray Tom Cruise as "Oprah couch jumping cult freak".
Posted in: Tom Cruise goes with the flow
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papasmurfinjapan
Do something funny to make them laugh. It's amazing how quickly a tantrum can turn into giggles.
Posted in: What's the best way to deal with screaming or badly-behaved children at airports and on planes so that they don't drive other passengers crazy?