JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION
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- Translator
- ZAIHON, Inc. (日本財務翻訳株式会社), Tokyo
- Salary: ¥6.0M / Year Negotiable
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- Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) in Kanto region
- RCS (RCSコーポレーション), Kanto
- Salary: ¥180,000 ~ ¥250,000 / Month includes performance bonus
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- Assistant Language Teacher - TOKYO - late-March start
- Interac, Tokyo
- Salary: ¥230,000 ~ ¥255,000 / Month
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scotchegg
Of course not and you know full well the topic is husbands dissatisfied with their wives. Kindly don't ascribe implications where none exist.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Really? Wow, thanks for telling me. Previously I had thought all media is an agendaless, highly ethical world of competent instructors. You've really opened my eyes to the way they might mislead, or spin an issue. (Hint - none of that is what I really think.)
I do agree that more men should just kick their wives out if they're not happy with it. Or not marry these lazy women in the first place.
But I can't agree, that even if they're the best housewife in the world, the marriage bargain that you think is reasonable, is reasonable. Seems to me the husbands are getting screwed (not in the way they would like, or expected to be when they got married.)
And even if the people in the marriage are happy, their decision IS having an increasingly negative impact on the economy and others.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Absolutely, although I would go further and say the whole marriage "bargain" needs to be re-evaluated. Men should fight harder for custody law change, and start doing more parenting, and stop financing and making it acceptable for their wives to be NEETs.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Perhaps you're right, although it's interesting that you continually place the blame for this issue on the husbands rather than the wives who you acknowledge are feckless. But if you're saying men do not have the right to change their minds, and society's message to the husbands should be 'you made your bed, now lie in it' then I guess they'll just have to simmer quietly and the housewives can continue milking them. But I hope we don't have to live in that kind of society.
The "blank, blinky look"?! "some are pretty savvy"?! Not exactly fighting the corner of the sisters there are you. Just because they haven't used an internet route finder before I hope you understand that doesn't mean they can't learn how to. And sure, society can offer back to work training schemes to help with this.
yeeesss, and as I keep saying that's because they know they don't have to. Expose them to the same risk their husbands face and they'll soon start pulling their weight.
But they're just spending their husband's money. If they have a job they create extra wealth and consumption.
Riiiight, but you don't think the writers asked all the men in Japan and could only find three with complaints do you?
And if everyone had the same right to decide that the economy would collapse overnight. And if their decision is having wider social and economic effects then it is not simply their decision.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Nice try but no it isn't. The article gives three examples. Only one of them talks about the wife not preparing menus well or keeping the sink clear. The other two don't mention if she does housework well / enough at all, and absolutely none of the men's complaints are about the wives' performance. Their complaints are that housework ain't that hard so the wives can get jobs. Look at the last sentence of the article.
As above, they haven't shown they're not good at housework, the article suggest that the husbands see housework isn't taxing and feel their wives are enjoying an easy life with the cash they earn.
As for why would they be any different with a proper job, that should be obvious. As housewives they know they don't have to pull their fingers out because a) housework ain't that hard and b) they are at no risk of losing their position. The husbands are hardly going to divorce them. If society started treating these women as NEETS and made it unacceptable for women to transfer the risk of not working to their husbands, they'd have to put in as much effort as working people. Frankly I'm surprised you feel nearly half of women in Japan are actually incompetent to use a computer / drive a bus.
It's not in front of others, it's in addition. Having jobs creates earnings which creates consumption which creates economic growth. Even a quick search on the word NEET will give you plenty of information on how they're a drag on the economy and why we need to get them into work.
You mentioned the marriage bargain and clearly see it as a kind of "deal" between two people. The article is showing that many husbands feel they get a bad deal, and hopefully society is waking up to this and making it more acceptable to tell NEETS of any kind, married or not, to get off their arses like the rest of us have to.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Feckless? Why do you assume that these women are incompetent? Are you suggesting 42% of women in their 30s in Japan lack the skills to do basic clerical work / drive a bus?
The thread has always been about women who stay at home and let their husband support them financially. In what way do you think it has unravelled?
Oh, that seems to have changed from the "what business is it of yours if they decide to stay at home" idea to a more scornful one.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Oh, dear, I sense a pedant-off. The "you"s in the last paragraph except for the last one were the generic 'one' variety, not the second person singular prononun that the last "you" is. Clear?
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Actually it's not simply their own concern. Economies need as many people to be economically active as possible to grow. Especially in a Japan facing an ageing population and diminishing workforce NEETs become a bigger problem, and men or women who are able to but simply refuse to work for no better reason than they don't feel like it are making life harder for the rest of us.
I'll bow to your pedantry there, the acronym itself might be neutral but I meant it's used in a mildly insulting way.
Firstly I doubt many couples actually have the discussion, and secondly it depends what you mean by "it's". You mean the cause of the problem? Then absolutely I do not think it's 100% the man reneging on what he agreed to. "It's" largely society for allowing women the freedom to make that kind of demand of other people, and then dangling the threat of never seeing their children again in front of men who try to re-negotiate.
If you're able and refuse to work simply because you don't feel like it then I highly doubt you fully appreciate the risk your husband is taking on for you, otherwise you wouldn't ask him to do it. And although I know it won't matter a jot to you, I'll continue to withhold my respect and call you a NEET. But then you wouldn't consider that even a mild insult anyway, right?
Moderator: Readers, please keep the discussion civil and focus your comments on the topic, not at each other.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Scratch that, we should just be calling them NEETS.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
That's the point though, working mothers, whether part-time or full-time are given admiration and respect. You and tmarie had a little lovefest above about your superhuman work, and if you are getting up five times in the night with the baby you certainly do deserve respect (and probably a long chat with your husband about doing his fair share of the parenting). My point is that even mothers with a few-hour-a-day part time job are allowed by society to call themselves working mothers, as if it's remarkable that they do both. Fathers who do their fair share of the parenting (and i do agree that unfortunately there aren't enough of them) would be laughed out of the pub by men and women if they went around calling themselves working fathers and suggest they deserve the same respect that society says we should give mothers.
As for Cleo and others asking what is it to you if some women still want to be housewives after the kids reach school age, or they don't have any children at all, let me tell you what it is to me. Men who don't inherit wealth have to train and continuously work hard to live, or be homeless. Sure, most men and many women are ok with this but they always know that slacking off or not wanting to work could mean homelessness. Clearly many women think there's a third way, marry someone and get him to take all of that risk. And what's worse, according to the article almost half the women in Japan assume it's their right! What does society think of men who decide not to work and live with their parents? It describes them as a problem and invents mildly insulting acronyms like NEET for them, and sneers at them. And that's how it should be, even if the parents have no problem with it.
And as for assuming that husbands with housewives agreed to that arrangement, well even if they did when they got married I can almost guarantee that after years of giving all your salary to a woman who allows you only a bit back per month while squirreling bits away for herself, and decorating the house that he paid for with her own taste in furniture that he paid for, many guys are not happy anymore with the arrangement but have no choice but to live with it if they still want to see their kids.
It's rare that the JP media impresses me, but one thing about this article that did, is its description of housewives as NEET spouses, and for me, that's a good thing. It's about time society started frowning at them a bit more.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
Although I absolutely agree that people should be honest about their future goals before marriage I also doubt that many women would openly say "I intend to be a housewife for the rest of my life" if asked, in the same way many men would probably dissemble if asked questions about future fidelity intentions for example.
Miamum - reluctant though I am to answer your ad hominem comment, I'm perfectly happy at work thankyou. But I also know that slacking will likely mean the sack, reduced employment opportunities and severe long-term lifestyle impact (extreme scenario, but seen many homeless women?).
You proudly list your CV of career woman, full-time working mother, part-time working mother etc. and certainly there is stuff to respect there. But consider this: Aren't all fathers who work, working fathers? Just because the hours I'm parenting in a week are fewer than my ex, who works part-time, does that mean I deserve the title any less? Many fathers, married or divorced, have the same arrangement, (full time work and look after the kids on weekends), but when we spend time parenting it's considered a lucky playtime that we should be thankful for, not the real 'raising' of a child that mothers do.
Especially in Japan mothers are praised for doing things that many fathers do all the time without any mention. Of course there are also layabout fathers who do bog all.
But these examples are working parents whose children are still too young to take care of themselves. As for housewives with no kids or whose kids are old enough to look after themselves, please don't describe your housework as any kind of living or job, in the same way you wouldn't describe an unemployed single man's daily upkeep of his house as his job.
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
As a divorcee who works long hours Monday to Friday and looks after his daughter most of the day on Saturdays and Sundays while also doing the housework and cooking in his own place, I can safely say that the pressures of doing domestic chores (be honest ladies, what is it, maximum 3 hours a day right?) and raising children, especially when they're at school for most of the day, are not a patch on the pressures the average working man or woman has to endure daily.
Is your work subject to continual appraisal and rigid standards by a boss? Is your lifestyle under threat if you slack off?
It was the same where I grew up, but especially in Japan we're told to appreciate the sacrifices and hard work of mothers while completely ignoring the far greater daily sacrifices and pressures that the fathers experience.
I've been at many family dinners where the children are asked to say thankyou to their mothers for dinner.
I've never once seen, or heard of a child being asked to say thankyou to their father for buying the food, buying the house, paying for the furniture, clothes etc...?
Posted in: NEET spouse in the house not such a neat arrangement
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scotchegg
What is a "song stylist"?
Someone with a reasonable voice but no creativity.
A welcome gesture from the TAC but given the financial and personnel resources available to the club you can understand why some might question why it took them so long to get something together.
Posted in: Tokyo American Club to stage concert to raise funds for quake victims
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scotchegg
Wrong, we absolutely have the right to criticize people for personal choices that increased the workload for those of us who had to cover their absences, and be asked by Japanese colleagues and friends if there was anything the foreigners were being told by their governments that the population here wasn't being held. Be under no illusions, the flyjins decision to fly on their pisspoor understanding of radiology risks increased workload and stress for many of those remaining in Japan. Their 'personal choice' impacted others.
Posted in: Why did those foreigners who decided to leave Japan in the aftermath of the March 11 disaster come in for so much derision from some people who labeled them with words like 'flyjin?'
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scotchegg
@tkoind - Just staying may not make us heroes, but it at least shows we can be relied on a bit more.
Posted in: Why did those foreigners who decided to leave Japan in the aftermath of the March 11 disaster come in for so much derision from some people who labeled them with words like 'flyjin?'
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scotchegg
I'm fed up with this mollycoddling of the flyjin. They should be critized. They panicked and ran, basing their decision on irrational fears, not the well publicised opinions of scientists and engineers. In most cases they bolted suddenly leaving those of us who stayed having to do our own work and cover their absence. Also many Japanese here got the extra stress of wondering if the flyjin's governments knew something the JP government wasn't telling them. Then the flyjin waltz back saying "don't dare judge us, it was a personal decision"?!! Yeah, right. I guarantee that most people saying "hey dude, I don't mind", are privately quite annoyed with you.
Posted in: Why did those foreigners who decided to leave Japan in the aftermath of the March 11 disaster come in for so much derision from some people who labeled them with words like 'flyjin?'
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scotchegg
It's how consulting works. Mildly charismatic people with letters after their names make sensational appeals to impending doom which few people have the time or money to disprove, and the unquestioning are persuaded to give the consultant vast sums of money to avoid the doom.
Seems like Oak are basically recruitment consultants though, which might explain why the reasoning is a little shallow.
Posted in: Managing employees in times of crisis
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scotchegg
Difficult to take this article seriously with so many dramatic, unsubstantiated claims.
"Anger and fear have ballooned in the last two years" Have they? Stats please.
"(one out of two firms we deal with have legal issues)" How many firms do you deal with. Two? Is this actually an increase? Legal issues pertaining to anger / labour issues or patent issues? Most big firms have legal issues at any point in time. It's why they have inhouse legal departments.
"Compassion for fellow workers is weak or non-existent." Really? Not where I work, or most of my clients if their post-quake activities are anything to go by. Any stats to support this?
"The weight that is being carried is shown by the current slowness of walking on Tokyo streets." Eh?!! Haven't seen this. Has the current walking speed been measured and compared to an average over time? Or maybe people are walking slower because it's safer with all the lights out?
"One little girl on an NHK program said it well: “ I want a job where I get lots of money and do little work.”" Hardly a wealth of supportive evidence there.
Posted in: Managing employees in times of crisis
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scotchegg
You missed out recruitment.
Posted in: Why is teaching at English conversation schools in Japan such a maligned profession by some people?
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scotchegg
Well, it appears to be 80% of a species most scientists qualified to comment feel is heading for extinction.
Posted in: Japan comes out big winner at U.N. conservation meeting