Wednesday February 15, 2012

tmarie's past comments

  • -1

    tmarie

    Cleo, do you not understand that education and uni education are not the same thing? One doesn't equal the other. It seems you don't. Again, I will ask you, who said it is a waste to "educate" women?

    So by your standards, yochien is okay, but daycare isn't. You did say that someone should be home with the kids... What is the difference? A kid is gone at 3, mom isn't with the kid... If anything, why are these women who stated they want to be home with their kids doing this? Why not teach their kids these skills at home? I don't care if they send their kids - by all means - it is their choice - but who are they to be looking down at working moms when they too aren't with their kids day in and day out.

    I thought she was out there because she mustn't waste her education and working is more fulfilling than looking after a kid? Again, with the 'education' thing... You do get that all families aren't mom and dad, right? You do get that some families have to both have both parents working, right? You do get that some women would rather be at work than at home, right? Oh wait, nope, you don't. Which is why we go round and round on this. If anyone here isn't being supportive of choice, it is you. You're comments above makes that obvious. Why does it matter why mom is at work? You are being judgmental and it clear when you use something like 'fulfilling". Who are you to decide what a woman finds fulfilling? Glad you found stay at home fulfilling but not all women do. Why do you have to try and make them feel bad about that? You might not think you are, but trust me, it comes off as very judgemental.

    A lifetime of struggling on low incomes in unskilled jobs? I know lots of people do it, my parents did it, their parents did it, I don't want my kids to do it. Not snobbery, realism.

    Nah, it is snobbery. And nice to see you will allow your children the "choice" of whom they fall in love with. So much for allowing them options, eh?

    Again, I know how my kids got in...recommendation yes, based on grades. No money, no juku, no connections. Great for you and your kids. Thing is, not all kids get in that way - very few do to be honest. Parents send their kids to juku because they think it is what is best - and indeed, I think some SAHM send them there to get them out of the house. I have mentioned more than once that I too don't like the juku system so commenting on it as if I agree with it really is a waste of time.

    Oh my oh my oh my. Pot, kettle, black. lol No, not really. I'm not the one who is making false claims like you have to "win" an argument. If you could get it through your head that uni education is not the only form of education and there are many different options out there, I doubt we'd be having this 'debate'. Stay at home by all means, but don't expect me to a) support it (which I currently do with my tax money) b) want to do the same c) question what I find fulfilling

    ?? why are women who never had kids taking maternity leave? (I'm not really concerned about women who stay home to 'bake cakes'. I'm discussing the ones who stay home to raise kids.)

    ??? There are women who take maternity leave who go back to work the very minute their leave is over. Rare isn't it because most just quit. Or are forced out. So much for choices for them...

    Great. Thanks for the "meaning" of the word. Perhaps you could look up the meaning of "education" and get back to me when you realise that it clearly isn't just about university. Shame you aren't willing to admit you made a mistake with that.

    Oh, I also guess you are in the mood to "pick apart people's posts". That was the phrase you used, wasn't it?

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • -3

    tmarie

    They LOVE American women - and it seems, foreigner women from all over!

    Posted in: 61% of single men aged 18-34 have no girlfriend; 49% of women unattached: survey

  • 0

    tmarie

    Banpaku expoland was made from the biggest. Would like to know where you got that from. Banpaku is so far out of the city and no a good location for anyone who wants to get a leg over.

    Had no idea about the Sakai burning - not surprised. Why is THAT not in the news?? I want a list of where all this crap is going and being burned so I can protest if it comes near me!

    Article Unavailable

  • -2

    tmarie

    100% agree with the babysitting thing! One of the reasons why I don't have my own yet was because I looked after a family of three kids (was two at first), all two years apart for years. Nothing like being 17 and looking after a week old baby, a two year old and a four year old for a few hours to make you reaslie just how stressful it can be. Females here don't get it. They think they are toys that they can dress up and taker everywhere. Guys just see the good points and never think of the reality of it.

    With the PT job, they would also learn some responsibility AND perhaps, save money for uni - which may make them actually study while attending!

    Posted in: 19-year-old parents questioned over alleged abuse of 8-month-old child

  • 0

    tmarie

    Japan really needs to look at their education. A few parenting classes and the like would go far here I think. That and sex ed. Good sex ed, not this reproductive crap they teach at JHS. Teach them about STDs, the issues with becoming a parents and how stressful kids can be.

    Posted in: 19-year-old parents questioned over alleged abuse of 8-month-old child

  • -2

    tmarie

    Cos, if you want to think he's clean, be my guest. I certainly don't. With his plans for making Osaka a world city, the construction business would be booming. Who benefits from such things??

    Rock and a hard place for voters. Much like for all voters in Japan. You pick the person you think will do the best job but indeed, all have agendas that the public should be wary of. Hashimoto is on a power trip and I think Osaka will regret it - more so when he's bullying people and changing rules and laws to benefit him - much like he's already trying to do!

    Article Unavailable

  • 2

    tmarie

    One of the most annoying things about cyclists in Japan is how many people are stupid enough to talk on the phone or write messages while cycling

    The same could be said about those walking though.

    With comments about the bell, people complain if you ring them, people complain if you don't. Give bikers a place to bike and well, issue solved. Thing is, the government can't be bothered. I bike on the road and feel I put my life on the line when I do. I avoid sidewalks and the like because the people in Japan can't seem to walk straight, with their head up and taking in what is around them. They walk in packs three-four abreast, are on their phones, walking back and forth, stop when they feel like it without thinking of who may be behind them... I hate WALKING on sidewalks here, let alone biking.

    Posted in: Not all cyclists are mindful of pedestrians and fatal accidents involving bicycles are on the rise. As the number of elderly pedestrians is expected to increase in the future, we decided strong action was needed now.

  • -4

    tmarie

    Guessing those 5 thumbs down are foreign men with issues against j guys. If not, why the thumbs down. The comments this poster made were clearly rude towards those from underdeveloped nations.

    Posted in: 61% of single men aged 18-34 have no girlfriend; 49% of women unattached: survey

  • 0

    tmarie

    Oh and "anyone who is sympathetic to sahms hates working women" - why is there any need to be "sympathetic" to SAHMs? I mean, it is their choice, right??

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • 0

    tmarie

    Cleo, it is very easy to pick holes in your posts. You've made some pretty nasty comments about those you don't deem "good enough" for you - the girls educated at female only schools, the mill workers.... It reeks of elitism.

    You seem to be blinded by your own experiences of being a SAHM and enjoying it. Also add in that you raised your kids in a very different time, many families can't afford to have mom staying at home and not helping with the family finances. Glad it worked out for you but certainly isn't the case for many families out there. It is about choice but the way things are in Japan, women don't have much of one. Surely, you can admit that, no?

    Why would you be against working moms? That I still haven't figured out but you certainly do pop up on every single thread claiming that someone needs to be home with the kids - mom or dad so you seem to have some issues with someone not being home - and let's be honest, in Japan, that means mom in most cases. Remember, you did write It doesn't matter who stays at home to look after the kids meaning that someone needs to be HOME.

    I'm also waiting for you to copy and paste who said that an education is wasted on moms/females. Oh right, no one said such a thing. The least you could do is admit you overreacted on that and went with it. I doubt this would have turned into this thread if you had bothered to read what was written, not what you thought was written.

    Choice. Indeed. Thing is, it is lacking in Japan for both men and women when it comes to family options.

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • 0

    tmarie

    Him and Ishihara, a true right leaning team indeed. Can't wait to see how this turns out. Wouldn't want to be a teacher under him.

    Posted in: Central gov't to keep eye on Hashimoto's reforms for Osaka

  • 1

    tmarie

    Seems 89% of Japanese need to get their heads checked.

    Posted in: Some rice farmers see TPP as window of opportunity

  • 0

    tmarie

    On some men? Heck yeah. So just the men, not the women...

    All the 'skills that will benefit them' that you have mentioned are, with the exception of early child education (why only early? And the except is something you clearly left out in you first post regarding it. Do you have any idea what early childhood education classes entail? I don't think you do or you wouldn't be so flippant about the comment. Why only early? Never heard of middle or late course. You know of any? Indeed, it would be great to have some. Thing is, many people seem to think that parenting is "natural" and whatnot. Anyone can have a kid right, why bother learning how to be a better parent? Why bother learning how to be better at what it is you claim you want to do for the next 20 years of your life... I find it sad that these girls claim they want to get married and have kids but don't have the first clue about cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, balancing accounts.. Perhaps if they had a clue, they wouldn't be in such a rush to do it? Education is key, right? isn't that what you've been saying? Surely you can't disagree that it would be a good idea for these women to learn more about looking after their kids and their home. Would be great if all parents took such courses but if you're working FT and your kid is at a good daycare...

    How do you know they don't really care about what they're studying? How about because I chat to my students and they openly tell me this don't care? How about the fact that I deal with students who are 20/21 and don't have a clue what they want to do for work and are getting seriously freaked out about all the job hunting pressure? How about a little credit where it is due to the teachers who do speak to their students and do see issues in the system? DS is IN the system and also seems to see the problems.

    **Isn't a well-rounded education that develops the person just as valid as some narrow vocational course? ** Coming from a person who only seems to think that a uni degree is the best form "education"... Coming from a women who just admitted uni is wasted on some men but doesn't seem to think it is wasted on some women... Coming from a poster who seems to look down on women only education institutions... What is "well rounded" to you? What does formal education have to do with developing?

    Oh dear tmarie, it was you who brought up the 21-year-olds. Indeed I did but I wasn't the one dismissing them like you were.

    **You don't 'have' to be anything you don't want to be. Isn't that the whole point? Though why the mums should look miserable I have no idea. I loved having the opportunity to watch my kids grow. ** I am lucky that I don't have to be anything I don't want to be. I was given the choices to make the decisions that led me to have the life where I can decide that. I don't think all women here can say this. I think many get pushed into an education they don't care about, pushed into having kids they don't want, get pushed out of jobs they wanted to keep...

    No Cleo, you really don't get why some moms are miserable which is why you and I clash on this threads time and time again. You enjoyed being a SAHM. Many don't. Many would rather be at the office and have their kids in daycare. Unfortunately, this country doesn't support working moms (and heck, SAHM moms if I am going to be honest when it comes to their mental health and well being) and often doesn't give them the chance to be who they want to be and do what they want to do - hence why I think the women in this article is amazing. I'm not a Japanese women. I didn't grow up being told I had to be XYZ and that in order for me to be a good mom I had to do XYZ. The same can't be said for the majority of women in this country. People make the comments to me know and I just laugh at them - and am thankful I wasn't raised with such restrictions and notions of them.

    I don't think I would say 'less educated'. More like, steered along a set path. How is that any different than those female who go to a mixed school? How is that any different than the males in this society who have it drilled into them that they must be men and provide for the family by going out and working? How is that different from any of the students sitting in a juku right now being pressured to do whatever it is their parents and/or teachers suggest?

    Perhaps your all female schooling could be used as the reason why you seem so set in your ways that someone has to be home with their kid? I will give you credit that you state either mother or father but why? Why not daycare? Based on some of the parenting I have seen here, day care would be a lot better than some SAHM. Perhaps why you don't understand why some moms are miserable and would rather not be at home with their kid is because of your all girl's school education? See how condescending that is when I say it to you? Pretty much how I image some of the females of these schools might feel if they read your post regarding their education and how you blatantly think it is lower than mixed schools. Do you feel this way about all male schools?

    Nope, both extremely bright kids at top-notch Japanese unis. But neither were there alone - hundreds of other kids working just as hard. And what is the percentage of top notch schools compared to say, average schools in Japan? I am glad that it is working for you but sometimes I really do think you need to take off the rose tinted glasses and look around. I'm glad you enjoyed your life, enjoyed staying home, have kids that do well in school. Thing is, that isn't average. There are plenty of people, male and female, who are being pushed into things they don't really want to do - be in uni, being a SAHM, being a company drone... I applaud this women for working her butt off, having kids, trying to change the policies around working moms and pushing an issue in Japan that clearly needs to be pushed.

    At the end of the day, it should be about choice - you and I will both agree on that - but how do women in this country have a choice when they don't have support? Not enough day cares, pressure to stay home with the kids, not able to take a few years off and come back to a career, pressure to go to uni to find a suitable mate, pressure to look pretty, be a good cook, buy designer clothes... I don't see the women in this country having the choice of giving all this crap the middle finger and doing what they want to do and being okay with their choices. I think Iwata San did this and I wish their were more women like here - though for that to happen, their needs to be changes.

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • 0

    tmarie

    Of course. Not everyone is academically-minded. People who are there 'because it's expected of them' rather than because they want to learn, would probably be better off and happier doing something else, if society allowed it. So you agree that a uni degree is wasted on some, then? Just not moms? So are you suggesting that is it wasted on men? I agree with your thinking on this which is why I suggest that women who have no career aspirations get an education in something they are interested in - if they want to be SAHM, why not learn skills that will benefit them rather than waste time of stuff they don't really care about and are just doing it because they were told they had to?

    But if you're happy with the 21-year-olds, that's fine. Your choice. Oh, there's that nasty side! Not all day cares have 21 year old workers without a clue. If you are able to, you can actually find really nice daycares that have great staff that are educated in early childhood education. Which compared to many moms out there, is prob better for the kids in terms of safety, development... Montessori schools have a great rep, don't they? ;)

    Judging by the way you go on about them, they're hitting your buttons somewhere..... The same could be said about you then, Cleo. You're certainly all over these threads as well, no? I enjoy the banter. Indeed, I roll my eyes at the comments but when it comes to self esteem and their comments, certainly not affecting mine. If anything, it lets me know that I clearly made the right choice by getting a good education and finding a job I love. The number of miserable looking moms out there is horrifying. I'm glad that I don't "have" to be one of them.

    Purely personal observation here, but looking at the people around me who choose to send their daughters to all-girls schools/unis.... in Japan at least, they tend to be the kind of parents, it seems to me, who are more likely (not in every case of course, so no need to write in but I went to a girls' school ~~) to consciously or unconsciously push their daughter into the 'this is what girls do' mould you hate so much. Like the 80% at DS's all-girls university who just want a husband. So do you think they are less educated than those who go to a reg uni? I don't get your point with your first comment about it. You clearly have some sort of bias for whatever reason. For some, perhaps they put their daughters in such a school because they've also read reports that females do better in all female schools? Or perhaps it has a good rep for getting into good unis and finding good jobs? Sadly, the "I only want to get married" girls are not limited to all girl schools. If they were, I would be more than happy to avoid working at them.

    ...didn't you? Nope. Perhaps you should go back and reread what I wrote if you think I suggested only them.

    I know what my own kids were doing, up until a year ago. Lots of self-discipline, hard work. Fun as well, some I'm sure they don't want Mum to know about, but hey, they're young. And do you think your kids are your average Japanese kids at Japanese uni? If you do, feel free to think that. Others like myself who work in the system will have a good laugh at it. I wish you were right, I truly do. However, that just isn't the case. If anything, high school teaches them more self-discipline and about working hard.

    As for your last point, you said yourself that people need a degree to get a decent job. A degree is a qualification. So two women, same age, same length of absence from work to produce a couple of kids, one has a uni degree, the other has a high school diploma; who's more likely to get the better-paying job? Or in the current economic climate, any job? Indeed, they do need a degree to get a decent job. Can you give me a realistic scenario please? Two j moms who have been off work for any number of years to raise kids wouldn't be competing to get a decent job. That job would be going to some fresh out of uni grad. If you were to give me an example of a cashier job, I would prob go with the uni degree - though if the other is friends with the manager...

    Hey, I am all for paying my own childcare but as long as they have tax breaks for SAHM, why can't I think I disagree with it and suggest my tax money goes to something that benefits me and my situation as well? I can dream, right?

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • -7

    tmarie

    What does it matter where they are from? They are foreign women marrying Japanese men so your comments that refer to no one wanting to marry Japanese men because they are mama's boys and feminine is obviously wrong. It seems that more foreign women are keen to marry j guys than foreign men are keen to marry Japanese women.

    Posted in: 61% of single men aged 18-34 have no girlfriend; 49% of women unattached: survey

  • 0

    tmarie

    "keep my job" - fingers are so cold and brain isn't working!! And "I don't think she had any right"

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • -1

    tmarie

    I don't she has any right to comment. Just as I don't think the old bags in the gym have a right to comment on me working and not having kids yet. I agree, it does indeed reek of superiority - just like the old bags I deal with. I hope you told her where to go - though nicely and in a way that didn't make you appear to be rude. The old bags are great when I smile sweetly and then point out all the things I can do because I have a job and have no kids...

    Like I said, I really wouldn't care what the SAHM did during the day if my tax money wasn't being used to "support" their choices. Support them, Fine. But give working moms free day care. I probably wouldn't dislike them if I felt working women/moms got a fair trade off. Sadly though, we don't. That is what makes me angry. I am worried sick that I won't be able to keep my let alone get decent daycare!

    My step-mom was a SAHM and did a damn good job. She worked her butt off and totally respect women like her. To me, it isn't really about staying at home and not working that bothers me, it is the tax break incentive given for it.

    Posted in: Shiseido exec fights for gender equality in Japan

  • -2

    tmarie

    What's your point Spid? Are women from developing nations not good enough? Do you think them count as lesser a person compared to a women from a developed nation? Your racism is showing.

    Posted in: 61% of single men aged 18-34 have no girlfriend; 49% of women unattached: survey

  • 0

    tmarie

    Not all drivers are mindful of cyclists and fatal accidents involving bicycles are on the rise. As the number of elderly drivers is expected to increase in the future, we decided strong action was needed now.

    How about that because that is going to be the headline if they a) shove bikers on the road and b) don't start making bike lines and c) don't start educating drivers about bikers.

    Life in Japan would be so much easier if those on sidewalks actually looked around and took notice of those around them.

    Posted in: Not all cyclists are mindful of pedestrians and fatal accidents involving bicycles are on the rise. As the number of elderly pedestrians is expected to increase in the future, we decided strong action was needed now.

  • -2

    tmarie

    Oh and his yak connection is well known by those in Osaka.

    Article Unavailable

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