JAPAN NEWS AND DISCUSSION

tmarie's past comments

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  tmarieNov. 24, 2011 - 10:12AM JST

  Not really Den, I am hoping the mother is charged and put in jail for what she's done.

  Cleo, you suggested the child be allowed to stay in Japan. With that, the mom is "getting away with it". It also seems ot give the green light to other parents who think they could do the same thing and get away with it.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 24, 2011 - 09:40AM JST

  Why is this man not in jail??? Why is he still allowed to be in the government? Why does anyone care what he says?

  I am certainly not happy with a 10% tax, and agree with him on that, but does he not get that he helped cause this issue??

  Posted in: Ozawa criticizes Noda for consumption tax hike plan

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  tmarieNov. 24, 2011 - 09:33AM JST

  Point being, there was no court order at the time of filing for divorce (or would be odd to say the least), so the mother returning home to her home country with her child actually seems like a very natural act, doesn't it? As far as I am concerned, both parents need to be okay with a child going abroad at that age. Dad clearly wasn't told so... she kidnapped her kid.

  IHR, why??Who cares what someone's job is? If they pay their taxes, contribute to society, have live dint he area for a while, what is the problem with giving them PR? Why the axe to grind?

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 24, 2011 - 09:27AM JST

  Yuri, Ryan is based in Europe only. You DO pay for luggage with ANA - but it is included with the cost of the ticket. With Ryan, you only get your carry on with the ticket. If you want check in baggage, you pay extra. Personally, I like the idea of it. You pay for what you want. Good for weekends and the like when you don't need a huge bag. Japan needs to get with the program and get cheapy flights. The prices now are crazy.

  I stopped using HIS years ago - they had a two tier policy. Cheaper tickets for Japanese. They got in trouble for it but I refuse to use them now after that. That and I find them to be expensive.

  Posted in: Airlines drop prices for year-end Japan flights

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 11:07PM JST

  Choi, they are trying to protect ANA, JAL and other Japanese airlines. There is so much red tape here with regards to landing fees and whatnot that many places don't bother. In fact, many have pulled out of places like Kansai airport just due to the landing fees - used to be the 2nd most expensive, no idea about now.

  Airasia has just managed to get in. You'll notice that some of the "new" cheap airlines are actually Japanese carriers (Peach is ANA) who are trying to get something up and running. You'll also notice that the non big airlines like Skymark fly into crappy airports (like Kobe) and are limited. Gotta protect the big ones are the government will have people out of work and they won't get their little bonuses...

  Posted in: Airlines drop prices for year-end Japan flights

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 11:01PM JST

  If the person taking that kid doesn't have custody than yes, that parent taking their kid back IS in the wrong. Pretty simple from where I sit. Sorry but there is NEVER a good reason to kidnap your own child. Even with the custody issues here in Japan with them usually giving the Japanese parents custody regardless of who is the better parent, I would be outraged. If the child is being abused, you go through the court system, you don't kidnap them. No good reason for this at all. It seems to be yet another case of a Japanese women having no disregard for international law and thinking she can just flee and get away with it. Been too many cases of that.

  I didn't read the comment about vulture grandparents. Indeed, I agree with you that grandparents can do a good job. However, when custody is not awarded to the grandparents but the father, the father has a legal right to raise the kid.

  I think 'we' get upset at these cases but as most of us are foreigner in Japan, many with kids, it hits a little too close to home. I get upset at it as a kid of divorce. I was lucky enough to have two parents that put aside their differences and I saw both of them - even when my father lived in another country. I think every child should have that right except in cases of abuse or substance issues. Sadly, in Japan, that isn't usually the case. Add in that Japan often ignores what foreign courts have decided and plays by its own rules, yes, people are emotional, not hysterical.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 10:09PM JST

  She is a possession in the eyes of the court. A possession that belongs in the US. She has been made a possession by her mother who illegally stole her. Again, I can't believe you are suggesting this child stay in Japan. This child is only in Japan because her mother kidnapped her. She wouldn't even be in Japan if it wasn't for her selfish mother.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 08:00PM JST

  Well said Oki! I don't get why people don't get that illegal is illegal and breaking the law. Who pays for their kids to be educated in the locals schools? The tax payers. Who pays for the street lights, the roads... The taxpayers. These people don't pay taxes. To be honest though, I think those who hire them also need to be held responsible. If there jobs weren't there for them, they wouldn't come.

  Posted in: Justice Department sues Utah over immigration law

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 07:58PM JST

  Not a huge fan of the death penalty but I can't say I would disagree with this.

  Posted in: China executes man for raping 14 schoolgirls

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 07:57PM JST

  I hope they protect him. If anything happens to this guy while he's in Japan there will be an out-roar and Japan can forget business for international companies and investors for years to come.

  El, why blame the yaks only? Kikukawa should already be behind bars - along with his cronies. You can't blame just the yaks for this. Blame the Japanese business culture and their greed!

  Posted in: Ousted Olympus CEO Woodford arrives in Japan to meet investigators

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 07:52PM JST

  @tmarie, Japangal and Blue Witch I am happy to eat my words if I am incorrect.

  Eat your words because you are being told by numerous people you are wrong. I know non-uni teachers who are not married who have got PR after being here 10 years. Having to wait 20-40 is rare. You clinging to one case isn't "proof" of anything. I am certainly not stating it is a cake walk here (I think 10 years is way too long) but you are wrong about your claims.

  Cleo, honestly? You're siding with a mother that a) fled to Japan when she lost the custody battle b) refused to give custody even though she also lost the battle in Japan c) kidnapped her child d) left her kid with her parents e) was dumb enough to try and maintain her green card by flying to Hawaii?? Are you crazy??? She lost custody to a) a father and b) a non-Japanese father at that. Do you have any idea how rare that is? warning siren should be going off in your head.

  The kid was born in the US, is probably a US citizen and was given custody to the parents who lives in the US. She probably doesn't "want to go back" to the US as evil mom has brainwashed her child - not rare here and you often see it with divorced kids even when both parents are Japanese, divorced or not. The child lawfully belongs with dad. Who lives in the US. Shame on you Cleo, I thought you had more common sense than that.

  Dad has a good job, mom probably does not, dad hasn't done anything criminal, mean mommy certainly has... Case closed. Get that kid on a plane, try the women for her crimes, get the kid into counseling, Japan sign the Hague, allow mom supervised visitation rights in the US and move on.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 07:41PM JST

  Nope. You can get the price they advertise if you don't pay by credit card, don't want to check in bags, don't want priority boarding, don't want insurance... Trust me. I got the advertised price many times but not wanting all the extras. Ryanair can't lie about the price as they have consumer laws. What you see is what you can get. In Japan however, that isn't the case.

  Posted in: Airlines drop prices for year-end Japan flights

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:40PM JST

  Webber, Ryanair is waaaay cheaper than the flight here due to budget travel. They also tell you upfront how much is what on the webpage - and you can pick what you want to pay for - baggage check in for example. There is no fuel tax added onto the price. Paying by credit card, baggage, priority boarding...? Yes. Oil surcharge? No.

  Posted in: Airlines drop prices for year-end Japan flights

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:37PM JST

  I would think that makes me a tax payer in Japan. I am not Japanese!

  Posted in: Japan to give $750 million in loans to Iraq

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:36PM JST

  Cleo, taken from the article "The Journal Sentinel said U.S.-born Karina lives with her maternal grandparents in Japan." Lives with is not the same as staying with. Perhaps this is not the case but I have read far too many cases where j folks steal kid back (mom or dad), leave kid at their parents' and work in a city while visiting on weekends. I hope this isn't the case but regardless, the child needs to be returned to her father.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:30PM JST

  Good theory. And good story - mine also texts while out to let me know what time he'll be home. If he's going to be too late, I won't wait up. If he's going to be early, I'll wait so I can say hello, give him a kiss, get him a glass of water - and send him to the showers as I refuse to sleep next to him when he reeks of an izakaya!

  We had a "family" day at his work a few weeks ago. I was the only wife with no kids who went. Many sent their husbands with the kids alone. I couldn't help but think "You selfish cows" for the ones with no kids and couldn't help but wonder why the ones with kids didn't go. I get they want a day for themselves sometimes but do they ever take the kids all weekend and leave dad alone? So much for "family" day.

  Mine theory would be that those who aren't working and who expect hubby to help out after they get home from a day at the house are selfish princesses who want their cake, want to eat it, want hubby to pay for it and then offer to do the dishes! If I was a man coming home from a day at the office and was met with that attitude, I wouldn't be offering up and love and kisses either! I wouldn't want to be nagged from the minute I get in the door - or be met with silence. It is a shocking reality that some females here really do think that they can stay home and not working and expect hubby to help out at home. Something has to give and usually sex and affect is the first thing that goes.

  Indeed, it would be great if these guys came home and helped out but I don't think it can be "expected" of them. If wives expect that, can't the husband expect her to get a job and make some cash? I really, really don't get the mentality of these types of women - and try and avoid them as best I can

  Much like you, the people I know with international marriages are the ones where both work. I think there is a bit more understanding with the stress and give and take of it all. The ones that I know are the bitterest are the men who are married the j ladies who claimed they would always work and well, don't. I had to listen to tales of sexless marriages from numerous men this past weekend. Half are jerks, half are great who really don't get what is going on. Many want to get a divorce but know they won't see their kids so... waiting until the kids are 18. Sad.

  Would love to present on this topic. I get tired of the J male bashing that goes on from gguys and jwomen. Karma. Treat people how you want to be treated...

  Posted in: Love without words

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:13PM JST

  Oh and if mom can afford a trip to Hawaii for her green card renewal... she's got no excuse for dumping her kid with her parents. Selfish cow.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 04:12PM JST

  Cleo, with regards to time, the guy is in the US and there are many single dads who have the time to look after the kid - and there are many single moms who work. This whole "dad doesn't have the time" is BS - and I think also changing in Japan as well.

  Real, you keep blabbering on about 20-40 years but that isn't the case. Do you research.

  Bookbag, "general trends"? Sorry but with prices rising, no job security it isn't "willy nilly" but a fact of life that many Japanese women are going to have to come to gripes with. Like it or not, Japan can't continue to have the lifestyle they feel they are entitled to with one spouse working.

  "If it was the deal"? Well, we don't know that as it wasn't written here. We also don't know if she pulled the old "I am not traditional, I will work" and then doesn't like some of the women I know - usually to men in very unhappy marriages who feel cheated because the wife isn't upholding their "deal".

  If she can't afford to keep a child, why should she get custody? Where will she get the money to support her and the child? This is exactly why I tell my female students to get used to the idea of working for life when they make comments about not working once married. Women need to learn to look after themselves for cases like this - which will become more common as the divorce rate here increases.

  Yes, the husband divorced her. We don't know why. Do you think divorcing a wife should mean that a man isn't allowed to have contact with his child? Using this "she was in a different country" line doesn't really work on JT. There are plenty of foreign mothers on here who work their butts off. I highly doubt (I would hope) that none of these women who claim that they stole their kid once divorced because well, they were in a different country with little or no support. If anything, the US would offer foreigner much more support than the women here get.

  Indeed, babysitters cost money. Kids cost money. If you can't afford one, don't have one and certainly don't steal one you can't afford.

  I will also not agree with you that females make better single parents. Based on the economics of it all, men make more which would men more financial support. If single moms were so good at their job, can you explain to me why there is a cycle of poverty amongst kids who were raised by single moms? They also have a high crime rate, drug rate use...

  Ideally, both parents, married or not, should be involved in raising a child. Sadly, that logic isn't very popular here which is why you have fathers, as it is mainly fathers, who have no contact with their kids. Mom isn't mature enough not to use Jr in a bitter game of revenge. Sad and pathetic as the one that loses out if the kid.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 02:21PM JST

  Real, you really need to do a lot of reading up on PR and who gets it as you are making statements that are very, very far from the truth - and I called you on it when you stated 20-40 years and I will call you on it again when you state "English and music university teachers".

  Bookbag, perhaps the women could get a job? The notion of a one income family is gone - though sadly, the reality here hasn't hit with many women. The fact that she came back with the child and it seems like she handed over the kid to her parents indicates she wasn't able to care for the child properly. I don't know if that is based on income, maturity, selfishness or not. If dad has the money, the time and the want, give him the kid, like the courts in both japan and the US did.

  "courts I will point out that are mostly controlled by men. And I say that as a man. A man will fault a mother for not obeying the law, and not think twice about unfair the law she broke is to her and her children." This doesn't make any sense with regards to what goes on in the courts in Japan. By your account, men would get custody of kids here because the courts are run by men. However, we all know that in most cases, mothers get the child (when both parents are Japanese). Courts give the mom custody because of some half cracker theory that women are better parents then men - I would post a link but the mods just keep removing it. As Sam pointed out, a quick search would indicate that is not always the case - mothers have a higher abuse and neglect rate.

  At the end of the day, this man was awarded custody. Give the man his child, charge her with international kidnapping, jail her for it and if she wants to fight custody when she gets out, go for it.

  And get that child into counseling because based on what is written here, the kid needs it.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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  tmarieNov. 23, 2011 - 01:17PM JST

  Real, PR takes 10 years in Japan. None of my friends who have it have connections.

  Cleo, I don't know if the father is really to blame in any of this. He was awarded custody in Osaka and the US and mom did a runner. For all we know, he was more than happy to have shared custody. Thing is, in Japan we know that isn't all that common. I personally don't know anyone who is able to see their kids after the divorce - in all the cases I know, all men (Japanese and foreign) and all the ex wives are Japanese. I certainly do agree that kids are used as pawns - said as much myself earlier - and it is disgusting. Kids should have a "right" to know both parents unless one parent is unfit. The fact that both Japan and the US gave the father custody raises red flags about the mother and her abilities ot raise a child. Though, I guess in this case, we can we happy that she just dropped off the pawn with her parents for them to raise - sad and pathetic.

  In all of this, the child loses. With regards to raising kids here or the US, there are pros and cons. If I had a girl, I would prefer the US over here, if a boy, Japan.

  And Cleo is correct. More foreign women marry Japanese men. Thing is, most of the people who claim more gaijin men marry Japanese women are only thinking about westerns/visible minorities. It is rather wrong - and puts a huge dent into the whole "no foreign women would marry a Japanese man" that some here like to claim.

  Regardless, the mother in this case broke laws, needs to be charged and the child should be returned to dad. That however, remains to be seen.

  Posted in: American father wins custody of daughter taken to Japan

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