As stocks rise, so do hemlines

TOKYO —

In the face of our global economy’s seemingly never-ending nosedive, Japan has come up with a hip, new way to stimulate growth in its local communities: by starting up a band.

Machikado Keiki☆JAPAN, a group name that roughly translates to “Street Corner Conditions JAPAN,” is the latest and greatest four-girl idol group to hit the media. I know it sounds a bit like a band full of hookers, but just wait until you hear their pitch. Basically, the better the nation’s stocks are doing, the shorter their skirts get. Clearly, the idea of having enough money for food and rent is not enough of an incentive to get some economic stimulus going; what the country really needs is more half-naked women.

Now, some people might be wondering what on earth donning a miniskirt has to do with the fiscal state, but Japan has seen some honest trends in that regard. Back in the 1960s during the Izanagi economic boom, the popularity of miniskirts was exploding thanks, in part, to the popularity of British supermodel Twiggy. But then, with the oil crisis of 1973, miniskirts saw a definite decline from fashion trends, only to surge back into the mainstream in the 1980s, with the disco boom and an unprecedented economic bubble. We’re not saying that correlation necessarily equals causation, but what’s wrong with a little experiment, encouraging our pop stars to show some extra skin for a noble cause?

The way it works is that the length of the skirts worn at Machikado Keiki☆JAPAN’s concerts is determined by the current stock price average. For every 1,000 yen increase, starting at 10,000 yen, the skirts get a good deal shorter. But get this—since the recent creation of this idol group, stock prices have skyrocketed so much so quickly that the pop singers will be performing their first show completely skirtless. Did we mention that two of these girls are under the age of 18? Only in Japan.

At least the group has a good attitude about this serious panty-shot in the works. According to recent interviews, if having to sing and dance around in their underwear means that the economy is in a better place and that regular people are able to go about their lives with smiles on their faces, then that’s enough to bring these girls satisfaction. I’m betting that all of the 40-year-old fanboys who go to see the show in Akihabara will be smiling and satisfied as well!

There may be one cause for concern, however. If all of this economic success really is the result of girls in tiny skirts, then won’t things stagnate now that these idols have nothing left to lose (not without a change in profession)?! Luckily, someone in management was thinking ahead. If stock prices continue to rise and hit the 15,000 yen mark, then the girls will take all of their good intentions to the streets of Tokyo and deliver cakes to the public. Skirtless.

Machikado Keiki☆JAPAN‘s first CD, Abeno☆MIX (reference to “Abenomics,” the name given to current Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s new economic plan) will go on sale Wednesday.

Source: Zakzak

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  • 1

    Marilita Fabie-Fujisawa

    But why should uniforms be as short as well? Isn't there a dress code for everything? I can more or less accept the fact on young girls with mini mini skirts, but definetly not in school uniforms.. In my country we were taught to respect our uniform. Not being able to roam around or go to the cinemas unless accompanied by a parent if we still had our uniform on after schools. We had a very strict code on good grooming, walking, talking and laughing in public. Sorry..I know, I know, I'm straining from the topic here...

  • 0

    gaijinfo

    These girlies had better get some long dresses. Markets are crashing worldwide.

  • 2

    Ewan Huzarmy

    Ah great, so now we get 'pervonomics' (sigh)

  • 0

    Moonraker

    Another of those "crazy" stories from Japan. It must be a laugh a minute over there.

  • -1

    SauloJpn

    They are hoping that the people relevant to the stock prices are NOT herbivores!!

  • 0

    gmat6441

    I think that 'Keiki' is from the Hawaiian word for kids. 'Street Corner Kids' sounds more plausible than 'Street Corner Conditions.'

  • -1

    kimuzukashiiiii

    "Japanese girls wear short skirts."

    Yup....

    But get this—since the recent creation of this idol group, stock prices have skyrocketed so much so quickly that the pop singers will be performing their first show completely skirtless. Did we mention that two of these girls are under the age of 18? Only in Japan.

    And is this a joke? I sure as hell hope so ...

  • 1

    psychopathsareincontrol

    well... google the band name - find that keiki uses the kanji 景気 type 景気 into google translate and it spits out 'economy' as well as 'condition' Seems that 'Street Corner Economy' sounds like a more plausible translation? Perhaps even it's a play on words

  • 2

    Thunderbird2

    I see schoolgirls on my bus home in shorter skirts than that... back on topic, and this is just silly, and I bet it was thought up by some Ojisan in the government.

  • 2

    ambrosia

    Sorry, Ms. Tackett but this predates Machikado Keiki☆JAPAN and Twiggy. It's called the Hemline Index and it's been around since at least 1926 when observed by economist George Taylor.

  • 1

    tkoind2

    More pointless kawaii silliness from Japan. And calling these children "women" is reaching a bit isn't it?

  • 0

    ChibaChick

    What a way to encourge economic growth - stick 4 young girls ("women"??! Come on!) on the scene, two of whom are under 18, and promise more flesh on display as the economy grows.

    Hope you are proud of yourself Japan

  • 0

    bfg4987

    haha

    Nice.

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